I've come to the conclusion I can't have a treat or cheat meal?

kommodevaran

There she is ^ the woman who told me I could do unbelievable things

lemurcat12

dave_in_ni wrote: »

The point I am getting though is eating that brownie sets me off on a binge. Take last night. My son's birthday so we had a Domino's. I ate that didn't satisfy me. I was stuck in ben and Jerry's then cookies and then 4/5 bud light. I eat junk until I sicken myself then the binge ends.

For me this is much more likely to happen if I am in a mindset of "well, ate badly already, might as well eat what I want and get back to it tomorrow (or Monday)." And then I wouldn't eat like I wanted, I'd eat everything I wouldn't be able to eat starting tomorrow/Monday.

I am NOT saying cutting out trigger foods might not be a good approach for you, it's just something to think about.

If hyperpalatable foods (as you experience them) tend to leave you unsatisfied and wanting to eat, or if you tend to eat in ways that are more about other things (self comfort, the idea that it's how you make yourself happy, maybe), it might be a good idea to take a break from them for a while, but I think that's easier if you focus on other foods that you find pleasurable in a healthy way, maybe trying to enjoy your regular days of eating more and not feel like you are just eating diet foods and are not satisfied.

yirara

If you think you have an addictive personality then why not find something to do during the weekend you'd not mind getting addicted to and that keeps you busy? Pick up woodworking, hiking, dancing, re-enactment, theatre, doesn't matter what. just do something that keeps you busy.

brightresolve

dave_in_ni wrote: »

The point I am getting though is eating that brownie sets me off on a binge. Take last night. My son's birthday so we had a Domino's. I ate that didn't satisfy me. I was stuck in ben and Jerry's then cookies and then 4/5 bud light. I eat junk until I sicken myself then the binge ends.

My experience is, binging is different from treats. A treat is a smallish thing, that fits within at least maintenance for the day. A binge is something I am not willing to look at or track, that blows me a thousand or 1500 calories or more over maintenance. Two treats is a mistake I can easily adjust for. A couple of binge days takes a week or more to reverse the effects of, and does hit me hard psychologically too.

I had to look really hard at what I was getting out of overeating binges. It wasn't the food that caused them. It was the dubious delight of soothing myself and silencing my ragged fears and self-loathing and anxiety with the act of eating food without control, telling myself it didn't matter and I could have as much as I wanted of whatever I wanted, but barely tasting if I am honest... shoveling it in to discomfort.

Until I was willing to start looking at what I was getting out of that, all my efforts to allow treats without overeating were in vain.

And until I allowed treats -- we are hard-wired to like them! food is a pleasure! -- my effort to move toward a healthy weight was in vain.

Good luck with your own process around this.

GOT_Obsessed

I have never understood the whole cheat day thing. I wonder where the term even came from. I am guessing someone just wanted an excuse to eat poorly one day and threw out the term.

Maxxitt

dave_in_ni wrote: »

The point I am getting though is eating that brownie sets me off on a binge. Take last night. My son's birthday so we had a Domino's. I ate that didn't satisfy me. I was stuck in ben and Jerry's then cookies and then 4/5 bud light. I eat junk until I sicken myself then the binge ends.

What did you have to eat before you started with pizza? Did you go in to that meal having restricted during the day? If you can unpack your pattern a bit more, you might discover a way to interrupt it.

rheddmobile

I have trigger foods too... my main one is Coke, I just can't have any without going completely on a bender eating everything I don't need to eat. I lost a bunch of weight years ago, then allowed myself to start by just having a few sips of my husband's Coke with meals, and it went from there to half a cup, then a whole glass, then several a day, and French fries, pizza, etc. to go with. If I cut out Coke, I have no cravings for those things. If I drink it, I do. It's that simple for me, so it's best just to avoid it. It's possible some foods may be like that for you.

However, I wonder if a little planning would help you. You mentioned McDonald's and pizza. Most of McDonald's menu is not really that satisfying for the calories, but there are things you can definitely fit into a limited calorie budget. Say a small hamburger and kid's size fries. Log these ahead, and plan ahead to eat other things which are very filling for your next meal. Don't have the Mickey D's for dinner, have it as an afternoon snack before a filling planned dinner. Same theory with the pizza, log one or two slices plus a giant salad you have already made.

The other thing is, you may be undereating, which triggers binges. 1500 calories is the lowest MFP gives for a man, and that's too low if you are anything other than sedentary. Get some exercise and eat more food and you will be happier and healthier!

Everyone is different, but speaking for myself, I would rather have a 500 calorie meal and no protein shake than a 400 calorie meal and a protein shake. Something to think about - do you enjoy protein shakes enough to invest such a large percent of your calories in them?

kommodevaran

I just realized the word "hyperpalatable" hasn't been on my mind for months
A healthier relationhip with food can really sneak up on you

crb426

Here, let me fix your title:
"I've come to the conclusion that I can't throw all my hard work out the window by overeating by thousands and thousands of extra calories."

Duh.

I'm sorry, but find ways to work your favorites in all week long so you're not out of control. Or don't even bother during the week, because obviously you're not helping your weekend self.

iowalinda

dave_in_ni wrote: »

iowalinda wrote: »

dave_in_ni wrote: »

I've been stuck in this cycle for ages now. Do great all week then undo all my hard work on the weekends.

I have a cheat meal on a Saturday night but that triggers a binge that ends on Monday and the cycle continues. I guess I have an addictive personality. I do the same with beer, can't have 1 and be done I have to get drunk.

I think for me it's best if I avoid cheating all together.

Is anyone else like this?

Yes, sadly, I have this issue, too. I have certain trigger foods that send me right off the deep end, eating-wise. Cookies/sweets or salty snack food. I am better off if I don't take that first bite, as I can't seem to stop with 1 cookie or a few potato chips.

Yes this is me.

Dave, have you heard of Intermittent Fasting (IF)? This works better for me. I skip Breakfast, as I'm never hungry then. Gives me more options for the window of time that I do eat - noon to 6 pm.
Wishing you all the best

AnvilHead

If I recall correctly from numerous previous threads, OP has been repeatedly cautioned about the hazards of an overly large deficit and/or over-restrictive diet.

The most applicable saying I can think of is “if you keep doing what you’ve been doing, you’ll keep getting what you’ve been getting”.

collectingblues

AnvilHead wrote: »

If I recall correctly from numerous previous threads, OP has been repeatedly cautioned about the hazards of an overly large deficit and/or over-restrictive diet.

The most applicable saying I can think of is “if you keep doing what you’ve been doing, you’ll keep getting what you’ve been getting”.

You are recalling correctly.

youngmomtaz

I cannot do treats in moderation. I feel for you op because one cookie puts me into a tailspin. It is a sucky way to live but it is the truth. They may initially fit into my calorie goals, I can track them, try to moderate, but it ends with me having eaten honey out of the jar, half a block of cheese, the rest of the cookie pkg, and all the leftovers in the fridge. I have to be extremely black and white with my food choices or there is no moderation.

It is very hard when we hear over and over that we can eat anything within our calories. Some people cannot. At all. Sorry, I am no help. But I do understand. You are not alone.

esmesqualor

I, too, have a lot of trouble with sugary foods (baked goods of any kind), chips, and simple carbs (good breads). I just can't eat a "normal" serving- well, I CAN but it is a real white knuckling experience and my mind is completely taken over by wanting more and more. "one is never enough, nor is 10"...So, I don't necessarily agree with the statement that food is not addictive. Until you live with disordered eating you cannot fully understand how it feels. I struggle with weekends when my schedule is looser in general, and my husband and I tend to want to relax and eat a good meal, have some wine, etc...If I try to stay on my "diet" I feel deprived. But if I allow myslef to relax I can't stop. This has been a problem for me since I was a young child. I believe that for some people it is better to make certain foods off limits. I tried just relaxing and listening to my hunger signals and eating what I wanted (basically very healthy, but allowed myself more flexibility) and I gained 18lbs in 6 months! So, I am back to weighing and measuuring...

kimny72

dave_in_ni wrote: »

The point I am getting though is eating that brownie sets me off on a binge. Take last night. My son's birthday so we had a Domino's. I ate that didn't satisfy me. I was stuck in ben and Jerry's then cookies and then 4/5 bud light. I eat junk until I sicken myself then the binge ends.

You are aiming for too steep a deficit which is causing you to binge when you finally take off the controls. Aim for a more reasonable deficit so you don't feel deprived. And if you truly are out of control during these binges, you might want to consider speaking to a therapist. Binge/restrict cycles can be tough to get out of.

TonyB0588

dave_in_ni wrote: »

I've been stuck in this cycle for ages now. Do great all week then undo all my hard work on the weekends.

I have a cheat meal on a Saturday night but that triggers a binge that ends on Monday and the cycle continues. I guess I have an addictive personality. I do the same with beer, can't have 1 and be done I have to get drunk.

I think for me it's best if I avoid cheating all together.

Is anyone else like this?

Why would you deliberately plan to cheat? Just make everyday an ordinary day, and count your calories the same way.

lemurcat12

The points people are making about cutting too low are good ones. I've had times where calculating a deficit assuming I'm eating around maintenance on the weekend and making it up during the week works for me, but if you feel deprived and overeat on the weekends you will be better off setting yourself up with a 1 lb deficit daily and sticking to it (or if you want an occasional day off, probably not every weekend, just deciding to have a maintenance day).

What calories do you get if you do that?

lucerorojo

I agree with others that you should increase your calorie intake and also try redistributing the calories. I am 5'4" female (52 y.o.) and I'm intaking 1600 calories. Not losing as fast as I was eating 1250 but it feels better. I have never "binged" but I have gone over my calorie budget for the day and usually that came about when I didn't eat 3 good meals. I have trigger foods--chips and bread. I cannot buy chips unless it is ONE 100 calorie serving. So I rarely buy them at all now, since it is hard to find the 100 calorie bags in my area. If I were to buy a stash of 100 calorie bags I'd eat more than one bag.

I will write down in the food notes on MFP when I have an issue with a trigger food. For me it is better if I plan and eat at least 2 full meals of at least 500 calories. I can half a lighter breakfast or dinner, and a snack at another point, but my lunch needs to be substantial, along with one other meal. Eating small meals just sets me up for too much snacking.

Francl27

Don't make it a cheat meal. Have the slice of pizza but have some salad with it or something.

Unfortunately for me, stopping altogether just leads to binging later.

JaydedMiss

Francl27 wrote: »

Don't make it a cheat meal. Have the slice of pizza but have some salad with it or something.

Unfortunately for me, stopping altogether just leads to binging later.

The second i label anything "Cheat" i spiral lol. Its like i can pretend it doesnt happen, or my body doesnt register the calories. Or im cheating dammit i mise will go all out its already negative just by the definition"cheat"

JeromeBarry1

@dave_in_ni I suggest a mental device which may have an insidious effect on your weekend cheating, by helping you overcome it. While you are trying to lose weight, choose a single day of the week which you treat as the important day, the one you work toward, the one you care about. Care about that morning weigh-in so much that for the days before it you you stay on your calorie budget.

And make that day Monday.