I've come to the conclusion I can't have a treat or cheat meal?

dave_in_ni

I've been stuck in this cycle for ages now. Do great all week then undo all my hard work on the weekends.

I have a cheat meal on a Saturday night but that triggers a binge that ends on Monday and the cycle continues. I guess I have an addictive personality. I do the same with beer, can't have 1 and be done I have to get drunk.

I think for me it's best if I avoid cheating all together.

Is anyone else like this?

lemurcat12

Sounds like black and white thinking -- telling yourself you can't have any, and then when you can you feel like you have to take advantage of the opportunity by going nuts until you have to cut it out again. I've done stuff like that, and for the most part not thinking of it as on or off, black or white, I have to be perfect or nothing matters was the solution. Are you maybe being too restrictive during the week and not placing sensible limits around what you allow yourself on the weekend?

Also, not thinking of it as "cheating" but maybe having one indulgent meal or maintenance day?

If there are specific foods you find triggering seeing how it goes not to have them is one possible solution, though. I have some foods I prefer not to worry about trying to control (when I go out for Indian, for example), so I tend to just include them in my diet more rarely (maybe every month or two, ideally on a long run day).

It's also maybe worth thinking about what you are getting out of overindulgence.

rosebarnalice

I'm an "all in" kinda gal myself, and I've learned to plan for it.

I don't use the term "cheating"--that's loser talk that reinforces self-loathing. I "save" calories during the week so that I can "spend" them on the weekend without guilt or self-loathing.

kommodevaran

I think it's the idea "do great" which translates to "can't have" that sets off overeating. Food isn't really addictive, and you need to eat, so I don't think it can be compared to alcohol. I think it's a good idea for you to stop cheat meals, and instead eat food you enjoy for every meal.

Duck_Puddle

You have lots of options.

First, perhaps calling it a “cheat” meal/day is creating a mindset that promotes “cheating” vs allowing an indulgence or higher calorie meal or some other sentiment that doesn’t have the notion that what you’re doing the other days/meals requires “cheating”.

Second, consider the possibility of including some of these more indulgent foods on a more regular basis.

Third-if you’re like me and have a pretty small calorie budget and have “indulgent” tastes that are super high calorie and not particularly filling and therefore have difficultly fitting these foods in more regularly, consider “banking” some calories during the week so your idulgent day has more of a cushion while still being in your weekly calorie goal.

Fourth, maybe a “cheat” or indulgent day isn’t something that’s going to work for you as a regular strategy (as you propose in your post).

dave_in_ni

kommodevaran wrote: »

I think it's the idea "do great" which translates to "can't have" that sets off overeating. Food isn't really addictive, and you need to eat, so I don't think it can be compared to alcohol. I think it's a good idea for you to stop cheat meals, and instead eat food you enjoy for every meal.

If I did that I'd be eating Dominos and McDonalds every night. There isn't much I don't eat bar Seafood as I'm allergic but whether or not I enjoy it is a different story. And anything I do enjoy is unhealthy.

dave_in_ni

rosebarnalice wrote: »

I'm an "all in" kinda gal myself, and I've learned to plan for it.

I don't use the term "cheating"--that's loser talk that reinforces self-loathing. I "save" calories during the week so that I can "spend" them on the weekend without guilt or self-loathing.

Haha I do that myself but I eat way over what I've allowed for.

kommodevaran

dave_in_ni wrote: »

kommodevaran wrote: »

I think it's the idea "do great" which translates to "can't have" that sets off overeating. Food isn't really addictive, and you need to eat, so I don't think it can be compared to alcohol. I think it's a good idea for you to stop cheat meals, and instead eat food you enjoy for every meal.

If I did that I'd be eating Dominos and McDonalds every night. There isn't much I don't eat bar Seafood as I'm allergic but whether or not I enjoy it is a different story. And anything I do enjoy is unhealthy.

That sounds like black/white to me, as mentioned above. Or is it just that your definition of "healthy food" has become narrower and narrower and now is "food I don't like"? Sure you don't like club sandwich, or steak with roast potatoes and asparagus, or apple slices with peanut butter, or eggs and bacon and baked beans on toast, or chicken noodle soup, or strawberries with cream?

PixelPuff

Had a long convo with a coworker about this on Thursday.

There is no 'cheating'. There is eating something and then planning accordingly around it. Everything in moderation. You want a day to 'go nuts'? Plan to eat at maintenance. Still count your calories, but plan for maintenance instead of weight loss.

dave_in_ni

kommodevaran wrote: »

dave_in_ni wrote: »

kommodevaran wrote: »

I think it's the idea "do great" which translates to "can't have" that sets off overeating. Food isn't really addictive, and you need to eat, so I don't think it can be compared to alcohol. I think it's a good idea for you to stop cheat meals, and instead eat food you enjoy for every meal.

If I did that I'd be eating Dominos and McDonalds every night. There isn't much I don't eat bar Seafood as I'm allergic but whether or not I enjoy it is a different story. And anything I do enjoy is unhealthy.

That sounds like black/white to me, as mentioned above. Or is it just that your definition of "healthy food" has become narrower and narrower and now is "food I don't like"? Sure you don't like club sandwich, or steak with roast potatoes and asparagus, or apple slices with peanut butter, or eggs and bacon and baked beans on toast, or chicken noodle soup, or strawberries with cream?

Sure I do but they are all higher in calories. Take my dinner tomorrow is a chilli that comes to 300 calories. Most of my meals fall between 300-400 calories.

kommodevaran

dave_in_ni wrote: »

kommodevaran wrote: »

dave_in_ni wrote: »

kommodevaran wrote: »

I think it's the idea "do great" which translates to "can't have" that sets off overeating. Food isn't really addictive, and you need to eat, so I don't think it can be compared to alcohol. I think it's a good idea for you to stop cheat meals, and instead eat food you enjoy for every meal.

If I did that I'd be eating Dominos and McDonalds every night. There isn't much I don't eat bar Seafood as I'm allergic but whether or not I enjoy it is a different story. And anything I do enjoy is unhealthy.

That sounds like black/white to me, as mentioned above. Or is it just that your definition of "healthy food" has become narrower and narrower and now is "food I don't like"? Sure you don't like club sandwich, or steak with roast potatoes and asparagus, or apple slices with peanut butter, or eggs and bacon and baked beans on toast, or chicken noodle soup, or strawberries with cream?

Sure I do but they are all higher in calories. Take my dinner tomorrow is a chilli that comes to 300 calories. Most of my meals fall between 300-400 calories.

All meals can be calorie adjusted by portion size. What is your total daily allowance? As a guy it should at least be 1500, half of your allowance for dinner would be reasonable, and for 750 calories, you will have a decent meal.

sugaraddict4321

Some people find being very strict during the week and more relaxed on the weekend works. Sounds like you're not one of them. Instead of bingeing and beating yourself up, try to enjoy a few small treats during the week and remind yourself that's what they are - a small treat.

dave_in_ni

kommodevaran wrote: »

dave_in_ni wrote: »

kommodevaran wrote: »

dave_in_ni wrote: »

kommodevaran wrote: »

I think it's the idea "do great" which translates to "can't have" that sets off overeating. Food isn't really addictive, and you need to eat, so I don't think it can be compared to alcohol. I think it's a good idea for you to stop cheat meals, and instead eat food you enjoy for every meal.

If I did that I'd be eating Dominos and McDonalds every night. There isn't much I don't eat bar Seafood as I'm allergic but whether or not I enjoy it is a different story. And anything I do enjoy is unhealthy.

That sounds like black/white to me, as mentioned above. Or is it just that your definition of "healthy food" has become narrower and narrower and now is "food I don't like"? Sure you don't like club sandwich, or steak with roast potatoes and asparagus, or apple slices with peanut butter, or eggs and bacon and baked beans on toast, or chicken noodle soup, or strawberries with cream?

Sure I do but they are all higher in calories. Take my dinner tomorrow is a chilli that comes to 300 calories. Most of my meals fall between 300-400 calories.

All meals can be calorie adjusted by portion size. What is your total daily allowance? As a guy it should at least be 1500, half of your allowance for dinner would be reasonable, and for 750 calories, you will have a decent meal.

Yes its 1500, Its roughly around 400 each for breakfast lunch and dinner, the remainder goes into 2 protein shakes and some greek yoghurt

collectingblues

dave_in_ni wrote: »

I've been stuck in this cycle for ages now. Do great all week then undo all my hard work on the weekends.

I have a cheat meal on a Saturday night but that triggers a binge that ends on Monday and the cycle continues. I guess I have an addictive personality. I do the same with beer, can't have 1 and be done I have to get drunk.

I think for me it's best if I avoid cheating all together.

Is anyone else like this?

Have you considered seeing a therapist?

collectingblues

dave_in_ni wrote: »

kommodevaran wrote: »

dave_in_ni wrote: »

kommodevaran wrote: »

dave_in_ni wrote: »

kommodevaran wrote: »

I think it's the idea "do great" which translates to "can't have" that sets off overeating. Food isn't really addictive, and you need to eat, so I don't think it can be compared to alcohol. I think it's a good idea for you to stop cheat meals, and instead eat food you enjoy for every meal.

If I did that I'd be eating Dominos and McDonalds every night. There isn't much I don't eat bar Seafood as I'm allergic but whether or not I enjoy it is a different story. And anything I do enjoy is unhealthy.

That sounds like black/white to me, as mentioned above. Or is it just that your definition of "healthy food" has become narrower and narrower and now is "food I don't like"? Sure you don't like club sandwich, or steak with roast potatoes and asparagus, or apple slices with peanut butter, or eggs and bacon and baked beans on toast, or chicken noodle soup, or strawberries with cream?

Sure I do but they are all higher in calories. Take my dinner tomorrow is a chilli that comes to 300 calories. Most of my meals fall between 300-400 calories.

All meals can be calorie adjusted by portion size. What is your total daily allowance? As a guy it should at least be 1500, half of your allowance for dinner would be reasonable, and for 750 calories, you will have a decent meal.

Yes its 1500, Its roughly around 400 each for breakfast lunch and dinner, the remainder goes into 2 protein shakes and some greek yoghurt

Have you considered increasing your allowance? I'm a 5'4" female, fairly petite, and I'm losing on 1527 calories (total -- I do TDEE, and don't do exercise calories) a week. There's no reason that you should require so little food as a male when it's just leading you into these binge-restrict cycles.

kommodevaran

dave_in_ni wrote: »

kommodevaran wrote: »

dave_in_ni wrote: »

kommodevaran wrote: »

dave_in_ni wrote: »

kommodevaran wrote: »

I think it's the idea "do great" which translates to "can't have" that sets off overeating. Food isn't really addictive, and you need to eat, so I don't think it can be compared to alcohol. I think it's a good idea for you to stop cheat meals, and instead eat food you enjoy for every meal.

If I did that I'd be eating Dominos and McDonalds every night. There isn't much I don't eat bar Seafood as I'm allergic but whether or not I enjoy it is a different story. And anything I do enjoy is unhealthy.

That sounds like black/white to me, as mentioned above. Or is it just that your definition of "healthy food" has become narrower and narrower and now is "food I don't like"? Sure you don't like club sandwich, or steak with roast potatoes and asparagus, or apple slices with peanut butter, or eggs and bacon and baked beans on toast, or chicken noodle soup, or strawberries with cream?

Sure I do but they are all higher in calories. Take my dinner tomorrow is a chilli that comes to 300 calories. Most of my meals fall between 300-400 calories.

All meals can be calorie adjusted by portion size. What is your total daily allowance? As a guy it should at least be 1500, half of your allowance for dinner would be reasonable, and for 750 calories, you will have a decent meal.

Yes its 1500, Its roughly around 400 each for breakfast lunch and dinner, the remainder goes into 2 protein shakes and some greek yoghurt

You set all those parameters yourself - calorie target is calculated by activity level and weight loss rate, and meal distribution is up to you as you see fit. Those shakes could be exchanged for some decent food.

JProcky

That's me !!! I have to be eating healthy or not I cant seem to mix it. you hit the nail on the head addictive personality. fill your kitchen with colourful foods find alternatives for beer such as smoothies make healthy homemade ready meals and put in the freezer for the weekend make some low cal puds for the weaker times to satisfy the cravings if needed. I try and eat three protein rich meals a day they keep me full longer

Ryansworld84

About 5 to 6 years ago I lost approx 90lbs. I lost the weight in a pretty sensable way, tracking everything I eat, back then I was using another app similar to this one. I became very obsessed with food, calories, and tracking everything. I didn’t break one time for an entire year. If we went out to a restaruant I would stress about it for days, if i knew that far in advance, trying to research everything about the food and what to pick etc. If I happend to be at a place that was too difficult to track with confidence I would watch everyone else eat and order nothing. It became a problem socially and my wife was not happy with me some nights, I dont blame her. Food, calories, my weight became a complete obsession and stressor in my life.

I was just too strict for too long.

Then one day I had some stress of life, work and depression. Normal stuff everyone deals with. Something in my thinking just snapped and I remember the day like it was just 5 min ago. My mom made some really good lemon cupcakes, I had like 5 of them. Then for prob 7 months straight I was benging and eating way too much again. I gained much of my weight back got diagnoised with hypothryoidism (unrelated to my eating) and the doctor told me if I didnt do something I would need to be on BP drugs. I hit rock bottom.

I have since cleaned up my way of thinking more than anything. I eath whole foods for the most part but I do not limit anything. If I want a cookie I have a cookie. If my kids are eating ice cream and I want some, I have some. I just eat a resonable serving size and leave it at that. I never feel deprived and I have trimmed off a lot of weight again. I hope I never fall back down that rabbit hole again.

Everyone is different, everyone deals with crap, everyone has problems. You have to learn a way that you can deal with it in a way that isnt damaging to your life. If that means a few treats through the week, then by all means do it. Log it. And move on.

I think I’ve figured it out for myself but I also believe everyone is different you need to find what works for you. I know a guy who has one cheat per year, yes one. He eats one piece of cake once a year on his birthday. I never see him sway the rest of the year; everyone is different.

dave_in_ni

Ryansworld84 wrote: »

About 5 to 6 years ago I lost approx 90lbs. I lost the weight in a pretty sensable way, tracking everything I eat, back then I was using another app similar to this one. I became very obsessed with food, calories, and tracking everything. I didn’t break one time for an entire year. If we went out to a restaruant I would stress about it for days, if i knew that far in advance, trying to research everything about the food and what to pick etc. If I happend to be at a place that was too difficult to track with confidence I would watch everyone else eat and order nothing. It became a problem socially and my wife was not happy with me some nights, I dont blame her. Food, calories, my weight became a complete obsession and stressor in my life.

I was just too strict for too long.

Then one day I had some stress of life, work and depression. Normal stuff everyone deals with. Something in my thinking just snapped and I remember the day like it was just 5 min ago. My mom made some really good lemon cupcakes, I had like 5 of them. Then for prob 7 months straight I was benging and eating way too much again. I gained much of my weight back got diagnoised with hypothryoidism (unrelated to my eating) and the doctor told me if I didnt do something I would need to be on BP drugs. I hit rock bottom.

I have since cleaned up my way of thinking more than anything. I eath whole foods for the most part but I do not limit anything. If I want a cookie I have a cookie. If my kids are eating ice cream and I want some, I have some. I just eat a resonable serving size and leave it at that. I never feel deprived and I have trimmed off a lot of weight again. I hope I never fall back down that rabbit hole again.

Everyone is different, everyone deals with crap, everyone has problems. You have to learn a way that you can deal with it in a way that isnt damaging to your life. If that means a few treats through the week, then by all means do it. Log it. And move on.

I think I’ve figured it out for myself but I also believe everyone is different you need to find what works for you. I know a guy who has one cheat per year, yes one. He eats one piece of cake once a year on his birthday. I never see him sway the rest of the year; everyone is different.

Great post. Yep I think its up to me to figure this out for myself as there is no one size fits all with this kind of stuff. I know what isn't working with me at the moment, I am going to try cutting it out altogether, if that falls apart I'll up daily calories and allow for it and see if that works.

iowalinda

dave_in_ni wrote: »

I've been stuck in this cycle for ages now. Do great all week then undo all my hard work on the weekends.

I have a cheat meal on a Saturday night but that triggers a binge that ends on Monday and the cycle continues. I guess I have an addictive personality. I do the same with beer, can't have 1 and be done I have to get drunk.

I think for me it's best if I avoid cheating all together.

Is anyone else like this?

Yes, sadly, I have this issue, too. I have certain trigger foods that send me right off the deep end, eating-wise. Cookies/sweets or salty snack food. I am better off if I don't take that first bite, as I can't seem to stop with 1 cookie or a few potato chips.

Maxxitt

dave_in_ni wrote: »

kommodevaran wrote: »

dave_in_ni wrote: »

kommodevaran wrote: »

dave_in_ni wrote: »

kommodevaran wrote: »

I think it's the idea "do great" which translates to "can't have" that sets off overeating. Food isn't really addictive, and you need to eat, so I don't think it can be compared to alcohol. I think it's a good idea for you to stop cheat meals, and instead eat food you enjoy for every meal.

If I did that I'd be eating Dominos and McDonalds every night. There isn't much I don't eat bar Seafood as I'm allergic but whether or not I enjoy it is a different story. And anything I do enjoy is unhealthy.

That sounds like black/white to me, as mentioned above. Or is it just that your definition of "healthy food" has become narrower and narrower and now is "food I don't like"? Sure you don't like club sandwich, or steak with roast potatoes and asparagus, or apple slices with peanut butter, or eggs and bacon and baked beans on toast, or chicken noodle soup, or strawberries with cream?

Sure I do but they are all higher in calories. Take my dinner tomorrow is a chilli that comes to 300 calories. Most of my meals fall between 300-400 calories.

All meals can be calorie adjusted by portion size. What is your total daily allowance? As a guy it should at least be 1500, half of your allowance for dinner would be reasonable, and for 750 calories, you will have a decent meal.

Yes its 1500, Its roughly around 400 each for breakfast lunch and dinner, the remainder goes into 2 protein shakes and some greek yoghurt

I agree with the suggestion to apportion your calories differently during the day, and also to consider whether you are aiming for too high a deficit. The fact that you are ravenous when you let yourself out of the tightly structured box seems to me to be an indication that you are restricting too heavily during the week. You could try an experiment for a week, during which you drink zero alcohol (which as you know lessens inhibitions for a lot of activities including nachos), and up your NET (calories in minus calories out) by 100 calories a day, and eat a more substantial meal at the meal you enjoy most during the day. It's only a week, and you might find a way to go that is sustainable.