dealing with the haters

Guinevere_22
Guinevere_22 Posts: 14 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hey guys
I'm working at losing about 40lbs (18kgs) over the next year or so and I've been pretty fanatical about tracking my food and keeping up with my exercise goals. Problem is I'm getting some flack from people who're telling me I'm being obsessive about losing weight.
I'm not sure how to combat that because what I consider good awareness and attitude to food and my body, some see as obsessive or negative. How would you approach a situation where someone says "omg, you're too obsessed about food! You need to chill out and stop being so anal about it!" ?
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Replies

  • BEEUK
    BEEUK Posts: 113
    Politely tell them to mind their own beeswax. it takes dedication to lose weight, no matter how much.

    For some reason people like to bring others down, as it makes them feel better about their own misgivings. ignore them and focus on your goals.
  • spade117
    spade117 Posts: 2,466 Member
    Ignore them.
  • ritchiedrama
    ritchiedrama Posts: 1,304 Member
    "Everybody, one day will die, and be forgotton. Act and behave in a way that will make life interesting and fun, f*** a mundane predictable life working monday to friday with something you derive no pleasure from; just living life out till you grow old and wither away. Find a passion, form relationships, dont be afraid to get out there and f*** what everyone else thinks, trust me its a lot more fun that way.

    Dont ever pay people out or put people down. Instead just put yourself up and let the haters do their thing. Id rather be a person thats hated on, than a person that does the hating. A wise man one said..

    haters gonna hate!"
  • GreenChile3
    GreenChile3 Posts: 65
    Politely tell them to mind their own beeswax. it takes dedication to lose weight, no matter how much.

    For some reason people like to bring others down, as it makes them feel better about their own misgivings. ignore them and focus on your goals.

    ^^this...I couldn't have said it better! :happy:
  • Sparkle_Princess
    Sparkle_Princess Posts: 926
    "Everybody, one day will die, and be forgetton. Act and behave in a way that will make life interesting and fun, f*** a mundane predictable life working monday to friday with something you derive no pleasure from; just living life out till you grow old and wither away. Find a passion, form relationships, dont be afraid to get out there and f*** what everyone else thinks, trust me its a lot more fun that way.

    Dont ever pay people out or put people down. Instead just put yourself up and let the haters do their thing. Id rather be a person thats hated on, than a person that does the hating. A wise man one said..

    haters gonna hate!"

    well said :wink:
  • UrbanLotus
    UrbanLotus Posts: 1,163 Member
    Are you talking about it all the time or giving unsolicited advice? That would make people think you are obsessive - I know several people like that. I am obsessive about it myself but no one knows that because I don't talk about it unless someone asks. MFP is great since I can get it all out here!
  • __delete
    __delete Posts: 245 Member
    tumblr_m0cdbrqqfb1rqfhi2o1_500.gif
  • Escape_Artist
    Escape_Artist Posts: 1,155 Member
    Ignore them.

    This. Really it's the only way. Tell them to mind their own business.
    Now it's about food but once you'll lose the weight it will be the ''you are too skinny!'' or ''stop lifting or you'll look like a man''

    The only way to make it stop is to tell them to keep their comments to themselves.
  • rejordan
    rejordan Posts: 132 Member
    I was thinking along the same lines as UrbanLotus. Keep it to yourself and nobody knows any different. I used to eat in my car at lunch because I hated others commenting on how little I was eating or why I wasn't going out with them to eat. Eventually, I said to myself, "My body, My life". Their words couldn't go any further than their lips unless I chose to take them with me. I eat what I want, where I want. My confidence- not arrogance- speaks volumes.
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
    you know, you say yourself that you are fanatical about it, so maybe there is some truth to what your friends say. and thats why it bothers you.

    so maybe ease up a little. it's okay to eat something without pre-logging it sometimes. it's okay to not log a meal once in a while. especially around certain people.

    i'm not saying to throw caution to the wind, but if you've been doing this for a year, you should be able to know more or less what you should eat and drink to make you full or satiate your appetite when out with friends.
  • sharonfoustmills
    sharonfoustmills Posts: 519 Member
    Hey guys
    I'm working at losing about 40lbs (18kgs) over the next year or so and I've been pretty fanatical about tracking my food and keeping up with my exercise goals. Problem is I'm getting some flack from people who're telling me I'm being obsessive about losing weight.
    I'm not sure how to combat that because what I consider good awareness and attitude to food and my body, some see as obsessive or negative. How would you approach a situation where someone says "omg, you're too obsessed about food! You need to chill out and stop being so anal about it!" ?

    Tell them it is your body, and you are in control of it. Tell them your weight needs to change, and that means the attention you pay to what you are eating also must change. Tell them you really would appreciate them being supportive- that you expect them to be supportive as your friend, family, whatever they are and that if they cannot say something positive then they should just keep their mouth shut.

    Try to make a friend who will join in with you rather than criticize, maybe someone at a gym or a weight loss support group.
  • itsscottwilder
    itsscottwilder Posts: 317
    I think how much people think you're "obsessed" is probably pretty related to the amount you talk about diet, exercise, fitness, "your new life", etc.

    Try changing the subject to something you all have in common.
  • darkguardian419
    darkguardian419 Posts: 1,302 Member
    Hey guys
    I'm working at losing about 40lbs (18kgs) over the next year or so and I've been pretty fanatical about tracking my food and keeping up with my exercise goals. Problem is I'm getting some flack from people who're telling me I'm being obsessive about losing weight.
    I'm not sure how to combat that because what I consider good awareness and attitude to food and my body, some see as obsessive or negative. How would you approach a situation where someone says "omg, you're too obsessed about food! You need to chill out and stop being so anal about it!" ?

    obsessed is the word the jealous and lazy use to describe the dedicated.
  • Antoine112
    Antoine112 Posts: 49 Member
    "Everybody, one day will die, and be forgetton. Act and behave in a way that will make life interesting and fun, f*** a mundane predictable life working monday to friday with something you derive no pleasure from; just living life out till you grow old and wither away. Find a passion, form relationships, dont be afraid to get out there and f*** what everyone else thinks, trust me its a lot more fun that way.

    Dont ever pay people out or put people down. Instead just put yourself up and let the haters do their thing. Id rather be a person thats hated on, than a person that does the hating. A wise man one said..

    haters gonna hate!"


    Yeah!

    well said :wink:
  • TribeHokie
    TribeHokie Posts: 711 Member
    tell them douchecanoes to pipe the *kitten* down

    tumblr_mghtcgXyDn1qe342po1_500.gif

    If you are taking a year to lose 40 lbs then I'd say you're working on it gradually, not obsessively.
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    On one hand... yeah, ignore them.

    On the other hand, if you're talking about calories and exercise all the time, that DOES get old. My personal maintenance is just that... my personal maintenance. Just like flossing my teeth and shaving my legs. I don't talk about it except on here or if asked. But I know people who are always talking about carbs and calories and grams of fat and MAKE it everyone's business.
  • disneygallagirl
    disneygallagirl Posts: 515 Member
    To quote Robert Downey Jr.
    “Listen, smile, agree, and then do whatever the *kitten* you were gonna do anyway.”
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    I despise that word.
  • ritchiedrama
    ritchiedrama Posts: 1,304 Member
    I despise that word.

    Hater.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    I despise that word.

    Hater.
    Yep.

    I'm a hater hater. Hater.
  • horsewhisper91
    horsewhisper91 Posts: 456 Member
    I started to face this more than half way through my weight loss. And still some today. Some of my co-workers were growing concerned over my 'obsession' with being healthy. And even some of my friends are like for once don't look at the calories and just eat it.

    But hey that is just me, it had become a life habit now to check the food labels to see if it is healthy for me or not.

    There is a difference, obsession is constantly checking and rechecking things and I would say eating less than what the goal is. There is nothing wrong with being constant and knowing what you are doing. Those people are just mistaking obsession for determination!
    I'd say because a lot of people have forgotten what determination looks like to reach your goals.
  • NoeHead
    NoeHead Posts: 516 Member
    To quote Robert Downey Jr.
    “Listen, smile, agree, and then do whatever the *kitten* you were gonna do anyway.”

    I like this!
  • c_tap77
    c_tap77 Posts: 189 Member
    tell them douchecanoes to pipe the *kitten* down

    tumblr_mghtcgXyDn1qe342po1_500.gif

    If you are taking a year to lose 40 lbs then I'd say you're working on it gradually, not obsessively.

    THIS!!!!!!!

    But seriously, I think you have to be obsessed a little at first. I know I'm just getting started too and every spare moment of my time is spent planning out the next week, making grocery lists, looking at blogs for new meal / workout ideas, and looking at inspirational stories to motivate me.

    When you've been eating a certain way and not working out for years, it's really hard to change those habits because they're just that...HABITS! I've been told that once you've been making healthy choices for awhile it becomes way easier because you've developed new habits and therefore you don't have to think about it as much. I hope this holds true, but I'm more than willing to be food obsessive if it helps me meet my goals.
  • SemperAnticus1643
    SemperAnticus1643 Posts: 703 Member
    haters-motivators.jpeg

    AND

    35820477.jpg
  • highervibes
    highervibes Posts: 2,219 Member
    I think how much people think you're "obsessed" is probably pretty related to the amount you talk about diet, exercise, fitness, "your new life", etc.

    Try changing the subject to something you all have in common.

    This. My sister is also using MFP to lose and she talks about how many calories are in things, and how much weight she has lost so far - which is all fine and good - except nobody cares. It does sound a bit obsessive. If you want to toot your own horn, come here where people understand your struggles and victories. I also track my food but my coworkers don't really know it. They've commented on my weight loss, but I don't really talk about it all that often so maybe you should consider keeping your business to yourself. They should mind their own business but if you're making it their business by talking about it often, it's fair game.

    Edited because: English is not my second language but the original version of this post was pretty heinous LOL
  • staceypunk
    staceypunk Posts: 924 Member
    This happened for me as well. I lost the majority of my weight within 5 months. During that time I was very strict and took the math behind MFP to heart. I rarely indulged in anything unless I could fit it into my diary, and that didn't happen much becuase I was only eating 1200 calories (and eating back exercise cals).

    I just told people that this is what I have to do right now, and I hope to get to a point where I don't have to put so much effort into it. Having such visible results helped and hindered at the same time. People could see what I was doing was working, but then when I got to be skinnier everyone says I am losing too much weight and can't understand why I am still "trying" so hard.

    I exercise daily and I try to stay around 1750-1850 calories. That should be normal IMO , but Americans are so used to being overweight that they see it as abnormal.
  • Fitfully_me
    Fitfully_me Posts: 647 Member
    ...
    On the other hand, if you're talking about calories and exercise all the time, that DOES get old. My personal maintenance is just that... my personal maintenance. Just like flossing my teeth and shaving my legs. I don't talk about it except on here or if asked. ....

    ^^this^^
    Why does everyone need to know what you're doing?
  • ritchiedrama
    ritchiedrama Posts: 1,304 Member
    but Americans are so used to being overweight that they see it as abnormal.


    Not just Americans, everywhere now. But I agree with your post +1 :)
  • Alwayssohungry
    Alwayssohungry Posts: 369 Member
    Are you talking about it all the time or giving unsolicited advice? That would make people think you are obsessive - I know several people like that. I am obsessive about it myself but no one knows that because I don't talk about it unless someone asks. MFP is great since I can get it all out here!

    I have been around others who started dieting and they were horrible. Constantly talking about food, calories, exercise, etc like they were suddenly authorities on it all. Drove me crazy.

    Could be you're a little too enthusiastic about your adventure. I am so happy I've lost 16 pounds, but it's my victory no one else in my world could really give a crap, nor should they, it's my deal, my victory, my healthy body. I don't discuss my diet and exercise routines around anyone - ever. If they ask I give them a super brief answer - 'just eating less and moving more'
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    Yup. As others have said, stop talking about all the time. If you don't mention it, they won't know how much you think about it.

    You know how some people get when they are planning their weddings - talking non-stop about what they are planning, and where, and why? Don't be that person with fitness.

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