Maintainers Help Needed
nowine4me
Posts: 3,985 Member
What type of professional would you see? I’m 5-7”, 134#, 24%bf age 52F. I’m at what is considered ideal for my stats. I lost 85# over 2 years via good diet, walking/running and lifting. Yet I still have very loose flabby bags on my belly, thighs and arms. It’s not improved in a year.
Primary doc says stop losing
Plastic surgeon says I need body lift
Dermatologist says live with it
Trainer says lose more and lift more
Dietician has no opinion on the subject
Personally, I think I look great in clothes. But would be very uncomfortable in front if anyone but my husband in a bathing suit. Thoughts?
Primary doc says stop losing
Plastic surgeon says I need body lift
Dermatologist says live with it
Trainer says lose more and lift more
Dietician has no opinion on the subject
Personally, I think I look great in clothes. But would be very uncomfortable in front if anyone but my husband in a bathing suit. Thoughts?
8
Replies
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Sorry that it didn't get better. I would think that if you absolutely can't stand it, surgery is the way to go. Although you can continue to do what you do, lift, maintain, and allow more time. And see if you either accept your body the way it is, or still want to make changes. I personally would not do elective surgery, but my skin isn't too bad, although I have some bits and pieces that loose, and I'm mostly ok with that. And how often do you get undressed/ wear bathing suit? Don't take it the wrong way, I live by the beach and the bathing suit is something I almost never put on, lol.2
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I’m pretty anti-elective surgery, but I have my limits. Two months after hitting goal (probably this summer, at my current slow and steady pace), I’m getting a breast lift, because I’m really bothered by the state of things. I also don’t really like my saggy stomach and other parts, but I don’t hate them enough to go under the knife for it. So, you need to ask, what’s your threshold?2
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Thanks @icemom011 and TMac. It stands to reason that a plastic surgeon would suggest this route.
A crystal ball would be great here....to know if I lose 5-10# more, putting me at the very low end of BMI would make matters better or worse. These surgeries (tummy tuck and thigh lift) are very invasive and have lengthy recuperating times. Not to mention scars.
Nice to have a sounding board.
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Air brush. Just buy an air brush.
Seriously though, some extra skin is to be expected with an 85 pound weight loss. I lost a bit over 70 pounds and I was in my early fifties when I did it. My skin did not bounce back in a year - but a few years in and it looks good! I just have one little area on my back that didn't firm up, and I blame my lack of weight training or upper body conditioning for that.
I say celebrate the new you, no one is as critical of your body as you are - none of us are perfect.
I would never do a vanity surgery unless it was really bad. If that's you in your AV, you look great.
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It sounds like you've put in the work trying to improve the correct way (eating right, at maintainace and lifting) and it hasn't gotten you the results you wanted. And I'm sorry to hear that...
What if you lost 5 to 10lbs just to see if there was improvement? Worst comes to worst you have to put some weight back on. You said you already lift, so eat a deficit while lifting to maintain the muscle you have, while losing so more fat. I can't tell you that it will help, but it's way less invansive than surgery.
I have a ton of stretch marks from losing 50lbs and some from growing (I'm 5'11 and grew very fast as a child). I know I'll never get rid of them. I also have cellulite and fat pockets on my thighs that will probably never go away. My BMI is 19.8 and I'm not willing to get much smaller. I'm also close to 40 and know that I won't look like an underwear model or 20 again. But I feel SO much better now than I did when I was close to 200lbs. I would probably benefit from plastic surgery too - but I decided this was good enough.
I'm not against surgery - I've known various people who has had it are very happy with it. But you need to really think about the risks and the recovery time.2 -
@cmriverside - that’s me at my current weight and in a flattering shot. Doing planks on the other hand, is not a great look. Luckily I don’t plank on the beach much. Hopefully time will be kind to me as it was for you.2
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But in that profile photo you look freaking amazing! No further weight loss required at all.
How often are you in a bikini anyway? and if its about what other people say, sod them, there's noone perfect and if there are some close to having perfect bodies they are few and far between.
You've lost 85lbs and kept it off - high five sista! amazing job. I would just say, don't dwell on the negative, just embrace the positive.
I am a bit like you, there are parts of me (belly) that I still don't like but heck I look great in clothes. I basically abused my body for years being overweight and unfit, I guess there had to be pay back for that but I'm darned well happy with how I look and I keep on working hard to stay this way. There's no way personally I would have any surgery, some day it'll be bad enough to have to go under the knife to stay alive!
Be proud of your accomplishments.4 -
If it really bothers you and you can afford it, I say go with the plastic surgeon!0
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Greaf attitude @RunRutheeRun and it’s not about others. My friends and family have been nothing but positive and supportive.
And by the way, Gisele actually is perfect — but she probably never weighed 220 pounds.
I appreciate the kind words. You have given me a lot to think about.2 -
Greaf attitude @RunRutheeRun and it’s not about others. My friends and family have been nothing but positive and supportive.
And by the way, Gisele actually is perfect — but she probably never weighed 220 pounds.
I appreciate the kind words. You have given me a lot to think about.
Yes, but she probably also has unflattering angles, and a team of professional photographers to make sure she looks hot. I think you've done an awesome job, and look great. From what I know, the downtime for those surgeries are extensive, and the pain you have to go through is intense. I'm 5'7" also, and can't push my weight lower than low 140s, so it seems to me that you're doing wonderful. And @cmriverside , that's a great bit of encouragement, good to know that there might be an improvement to the skin situation with some extra time.2 -
@cmriverside - that’s me at my current weight and in a flattering shot. Doing planks on the other hand, is not a great look. Luckily I don’t plank on the beach much. Hopefully time will be kind to me as it was for you.
I'm not saying I'm a fitness model.
There aren't many of those, and really I started wearing a one-piece or full coverage tankini set a loooooongggg time ago. They're so much more practical. I do active stuff in the water and on the beach. No one wants to fall out of a bikini. I really feel much more comfortable in a one-piece or tankini.2 -
What type of professional would you see?
None 'cos I'm pig-headed!
I lost 85# over 2 years via good diet, walking/running and lifting.
Brilliant job young lady! :flowerforyou:
Primary doc says stop losing -
Presumably their main concern is your health and "flabby bags" isn't a health issue.
Plastic surgeon says I need body lift -
$$$$$$ Kerching!
Dermatologist says live with it -
Easier said than done but sounds honest advice.
Trainer says lose more and lift more -
Lose more might make the problem worse, lift more isn't realistically going to add pounds and pounds of muscle to fill out your "bags". (Lift more than what though?) If goal is hypertrophy that's in conflict with "lose more". Lifting doesn't exercise skin of course but it can give you a more shapely frame to hang your skin on.
Dietician has no opinion on the subject -
That's quite refreshing.
Personally, I think I look great in clothes. But would be very uncomfortable in front if anyone but my husband in a bathing suit. Thoughts? -
Get yourself to a nudist beach, being comfortable with yourself can be acquired. I've yet to see a perfect body on the beach and it really doesn't matter. I was chatting with two lovely older ladies on the beach last holiday, one with a radical mastectomy, one with a fairly injudicious boob job (chin rest might be reasonable description!) - neither situation affects their worth as people. Life isn't a fashion parade or beauty pageant.
PS - I had a friend who had a full body lift, the scarring was pretty bad. She was pleased she looked better dressed but the dislike of a baggy body after was replaced with dislike of a scarred body. If you have had surgery or injuries before how well do you avoid visible scarring? It's very different from person to person.
PPS - Planks weren't a good look for me either (only 30lb loss at age 53). My stomach improved for a good two years at maintenance. Not perfect but OK.
Hope you find a way to celebrate your achievement without any "but my baggy bits..." caveat.
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I think you look amazing and you've done amazing work. I lost 22 pounds last year and a total of 37 pounds from my heaviest weight after my last baby. My BMI is 20.5 but I still have this bit of lower belly fat and loose skin that simply just drives me nuts... So I can empathize some. I guess you have to decide if surgery is a route you want to take... Personally, my scars keloid (I have an ugly raised c-section scar) and I really don't want any more of that going on than I already have. Whatever you decide, I wish you the best!4
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I think you've done great. I firmed up over more than six months. There are many cute bathing suit out there that cover anything you're uncomfortable with and it's your husband that matters. Keep exercising and see what happens. Skin takes a long time to snug up.2
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Thanks everyone for your input. I spent some time in front of a full length mirror this morning. No conclusions on how to proceed, but my reflection tells me that no matter what flaws or imperfections remain, losing weight was the best thing I ever could have for myself!18
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Losing more weight will make the skin worse, not better. The reason it's loose it because it used to be filled with fat and you've "deflated" - deflating even more will just make it worse.
Lift more and try to come to terms with the fact that it might not get better unless you opt for surgery.
Assuming the pic is you - you look awesome.3 -
How much would surgery cost? I'd take that cash and go on vacation to a great beach, put on my bathing suit and say "F u world.... I'm Awesome!!" I think you look great and I'm pretty sure your Hubby says so too!!8
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1. You're hot.
2. Choose the solution that you can afford that you feel will yield the results you will be happiest with.2 -
Echo you're hot and you've done the best thing possible for yourself already. So many good insights, here. I never had a dramatic weight loss, and my planks look pretty rough, too. I guess pregnancy? but who knows. I don't do those publicly. And being a mom was the best thing I ever did.
One observation about myself that may not be germane at all, and it applies to the keep-lifting-and-see-what-happens option: When I had a low fat diet in my 20's, my skin was awful. Always dry, inelastic, eczema, atopic dermatitis constantly. Now that I have a high fat diet in my 50's, my skin has never been better. In my life. The change evolved over several years, though. If you give it another year with a consistent effort to up your fat macro, maybe you will see some more change. Honestly, one year isn't that long for a body to adjust.
And I agree with the bikini thing. I'm in a bathing suit in public a couple times a year. I'm always amazed at the great diversity of body sizes and shapes I see out there. To see someone really enjoying themselves, having fun in the sun, it's beautiful to see, regardless of the body particulars. Cheers, dahlink! :drinker:8 -
I can personally think of so many more things I could spend the money on instead of a tummy tuck or arm lift and really, I still wouldn't wear a bikini because of the scars anyway...
Trainers are idiots because muscles will never do anything for your skin (I highly doubt a six pack would fill the space that was taken by 30 lbs of fat in my tummy, just saying).
Your doctor might have a point, I mean I get really skinny in some places if I lose too much (I'd still have a bit of a belly/hips if I was underweight, guaranteed).
I think your dermatologist is spot on.2 -
At the risk of sounding flippant (which I truly don't mean to be), the professional I'd recommend would be a mental health counselor.
You say that you're happy with your body but feel self conscious about wearing a bathing suit. It seems to me that the best action would be to change your mindset about wearing a bathing suit rather than changing your body.5 -
First and foremost, @nowine4me - it’s very humbling to see you asking this question as I see you as a beacon of honest truth and wisdom on these forums regularly.
With that said, I am always an advocate of Time and strength training here. Surgery should always be seen as a last resort, after all other options have been exhausted. My next steps would be to start researching recomp, take lots of photos for progress comparison and start lifting heavy things!2 -
Here's the thing - if it's skin that has stretched and lost it's elasticity, no amount of recomp, lifting etc will help. Losing more weight will only make it worse (as others have said). I am a huge believer in doing whatever it takes to make yourself more comfortable/happy in your own skin. My vote (if we are voting) is to go onto realself.com, research plastic surgeon's and go on a few consults. Nothing wrong with a little PS IMO. And BTW - well done! You look amazing1
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To repeat other posters. Nobody on the beach cares! At all! I am the same height as you, quite a bit heavier than you, and very stretch marked due to large babies and fast pregnancy weight gain. I have cellulite, loose belly flab, and 20-25lbs I would love to get rid of. I leave for New Zealand in 2 weeks and I will be wearing my bikini. I am from Manitoba and the thought of covering skin when I can be absorbing maximum vitamin D is horrifying to me! There is always someone larger than me, smaller than me, more tanned, and with zero leg fuzz when I may have skipped shaving that morn. Nobody cares. If you only concern is bikini wearing I would say skip the worrying and just do you. And it looks like you have a lot to be proud of! Great work!11
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We live in an overweight and obese society. Anyone who sees you in a bathing suit is a lot more likely to think, "She's skinny" than, "She doesn't look like a 15 year old model." Most people won't even notice your saggy skin. The few who do will also see your muscles and know that you must have worked really hard to look as good as you do.
I'm older (61) and have saggy skin on my arms and thighs that will probably never disappear. I don't care. I'm proud of the weight I lost, I'm proud of what I can do that I didn't used to be able to do (run marathons) and anybody who judges me for not being perfect can stuff it.8 -
As a result of y’alls sage advice, I booked two tickets to Grand Cayman in March. I ordered two beautiful size 4 sundresses. I set weekly appointments with a trainer until vacay and I’m going to work my butt off this year. October will be two full years of maintenance— so I’ll see how things are Looking and take it from there. Thanks again for all your guidance.30
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lift more, your doing great! you won't get "big" at all, just fill in the skin a bit, so I agree with the trainer a bit becasue I've been there. But, when will you be satisfied? I say enjoy the "journey" of your transformation because you obviously have done excellent!! You deserve to be happy and content with how you are because you have earned your way there. Now, you can maintain and polish your look. You look amazing! Good Job!3
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What type of professional would you see? I’m 5-7”, 134#, 24%bf age 52F. I’m at what is considered ideal for my stats. I lost 85# over 2 years via good diet, walking/running and lifting. Yet I still have very loose flabby bags on my belly, thighs and arms. It’s not improved in a year.
Primary doc says stop losing
Plastic surgeon says I need body lift
Dermatologist says live with it
Trainer says lose more and lift more
Dietician has no opinion on the subject
Personally, I think I look great in clothes. But would be very uncomfortable in front if anyone but my husband in a bathing suit. Thoughts?
Your loose skin is a badge of honor in a strange way. I never plan to have mine removed, as long as I can keep the weight off! Be proud!2 -
If i ended up with loose flabby skin/boobs I'd get surgery. Howeeeever i would wait at least a couple of years after hitting my goal weight, and the bigger issue... Money.
I would have to be incredibly well off to fork out thousands of dollars on cosmetic surgery. If i had to scrimp and save to come up with the cash or take a loan out etc then i wouldn't even consider it. As it stands now i could think of a million better things to spend my money on.
Long story short, i would do it, if i waited a good amount of time after reaching my goal, and i was a millionaire
You're also one up on me, I wont even wear a bikini in front of my husband!3 -
Maintain and lift.2
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