Brutal Honesty
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When I was in grade 7 or 8, I asked out a girl for the first time. It was so terribly difficult to do. Her response was, “I would, if you weren’t so short and fat”. It quite literally ruined me. To this day, that honesty has affected every part of my confidence level (or lack there of).13
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_Deadman_Walking_ wrote: »When I was in grade 7 or 8, I asked out a girl for the first time. It was so terribly difficult to do. Her response was, “I would, if you weren’t so short and fat”. It quite literally ruined me. To this day, that honesty has affected every part of my confidence level (or lack there of).
You stoppit! She doesn’t deserve to have that power over you.8 -
I don't think I've ever witnessed brutal honesty that wasn't malicious. There's a way to be honest as well as tactful.22
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_Deadman_Walking_ wrote: »When I was in grade 7 or 8, I asked out a girl for the first time. It was so terribly difficult to do. Her response was, “I would, if you weren’t so short and fat”. It quite literally ruined me. To this day, that honesty has affected every part of my confidence level (or lack there of).
Wow, what a little *kitten*.0 -
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MeeseeksAndDestroy wrote: »WorkerDrone83 wrote: »I don't think I've ever witnessed brutal honesty that wasn't malicious. There's a way to be honest as well as tactful.
You should've known me before I youtubed how to empathize
LOL. I absolutely adore that you taught yourself that on youtube.2 -
WorkerDrone83 wrote: »MeeseeksAndDestroy wrote: »WorkerDrone83 wrote: »I don't think I've ever witnessed brutal honesty that wasn't malicious. There's a way to be honest as well as tactful.
You should've known me before I youtubed how to empathize
LOL. I absolutely adore that you taught yourself that on youtube.
That's not all she taught herself.She probably learned some stuff about the universe and making essential oils too.1 -
gottabeeleighv wrote: »I am brutally honest when shopping with girlfriends. If it doesn't look good on them, I will never say it does.
That's honest, but are you 'brutally honest' by saying that they look terrible?1 -
My SO said he wouldn't marry me because I had gained so much weight that it was getting difficult for me to move - I was having major hip and back pain ALL THE TIME.
I was really mad at him, took me a couple of months to process it, and now I'm almost 50 pounds down.7 -
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I finally had to tell my co-worker than I didn’t want to hear anymore *kitten* talking about a different co-worker. I never had a problem with him, even though his sense of humor was sometimes off-putting. She hated him and every look/movement/word he said and told me about it every day all day. I can not deal with that type of constant negativity and told her so and she was understanding and it got better.1
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I tell people who sell things online (all the skincare, candles, essential oils, nails, lipstick, cooking implements, etc) that I won't ever buy their wares. It doesn't matter if we go back to third grade, are related, etc. I'm never going to participate in any of it, period. They usually get offended and I don't care.
People like to be brutally honest with me about my hair. I had a pixie cut for years and friends/coworkers universally loved it that way. The longer it grows, the more people tell me it "lacks shape" or "looks bad" or "isn't flattering as the short hair". I used to get upset and cut it every time that happened but now I don't care & do as I wish. Usually I don't like their hair anyway!4 -
I don’t know if I’m capable of brutal honesty.1
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As a therapist, I've learned the art of being brutally honest such as "you'll die if you don't stop, but that's your choice..." or "I'm hearing excuses, when will there be some action?" I keep it tailored to the person though, some people can't handle it so I wait until it's a good time. It usually works. I had a few people who said I was completely wrong. I also had to call out coworkers for not doing their jobs, one specifically who is in charge of a few things...she denied it and blamed me for not doing her job in front of everyone and said I never communicated that she needed to do her job. So now I just avoid her because it's clear that she's just going to push her responsibilities on me.1
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I was was honest with my ex when he threatened to leave me and I told him he was supposed to be gone already because I'd already told him to leave two months before that7
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In my job I have to be honest with people daily even if they don't like it but not brutally.
Last time I was brutally honest was last spring, I told my sister in law that everyone is tired of walking on eggshells around her. She needs serious mental help. We are tired of her playing the victim and making everyone dread going to events she will be at. She didn't take it well. She moved away instead of facing her issues. She is still playing the victim but at least it's from 800 miles away now.3 -
I haven't been brutally honest very many times, but when the time comes that I can't take it any longer, I will lash out. I was brutally honest with someone about a year and a half ago and they never spoke to me again, which is okay, because I didn't deserve the way they were treating me!
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caco_ethes wrote: »I don’t know if I’m capable of brutal honesty.
I strive to be more like you. No joke. Sometimes having a very blunt personality and being brutally honest most of the time can rub people the wrong way. It's taken me many many years to tone it down, but I still struggle with it. I tend to lack empathy.1 -
Honest..pretty much always. Brutal? Try hard to not be.2
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gottabeeleighv wrote: »I am brutally honest when shopping with girlfriends. If it doesn't look good on them, I will never say it does.
I really love to go shopping with you! Hate it, when your friends seem to be feel they have to act as the salesperson!1 -
WorkerDrone83 wrote: »I don't think I've ever witnessed brutal honesty that wasn't malicious. There's a way to be honest as well as tactful.
YAS. This 100%.
In my experience 'brutal honesty' has always been the excuse for outright nastiness.2 -
Maybe brutal? I told my sister I didn't think she should marry the emotionally abusive guy in his 30's who dumped her when she wouldn't have an abortion, didn't contact her for over a year and then came back crying when she wanted child support. I told her I could not be a bridesmaid as I did not support her marrying him. She left him once after marriage but went back to him. She has not had a very happy time.
I'd say my honesty damaged my relationship with her and my nephew. My parents were mad at me even though they felt the same about the guy. No one else would say anything to her though. I knew it would hurt to hear but I said it anyway.
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