Brutal Honesty

tirowow12385

Mr_Healthy_Habits wrote: »

After losing all the weight (180lbs) one of my uncles said... Yeah but where the hell are your shoulders?

That was about 2yrs ago...
To this day, I don't work on anything as much as I do shoulders

Too funny, it was for the best.

Deadman_Diggingup

I tend to care about other's feelings, so I usually take the diplomatic route. I am very rarely brutal in my honesty... I know from experience that it can be dangerous and the effects can be long lasting in a negative way.

Merrysailor5

Why does it have to be "brutal", can't you just be honest?

bojack3

_Deadman_Walking_ wrote: »

I tend to care about other's feelings, so I usually take the diplomatic route. I am very rarely brutal in my honesty... I know from experience that it can be dangerous and the effects can be long lasting in a negative way.

I think those that relish in being "brutally" honest are insecure and are less about being honest and more about hurting others to mKe themselves feel better. Honesty is great, being blunt but tactful is possible.

Deadman_Diggingup

bojack3 wrote: »

_Deadman_Walking_ wrote: »

I tend to care about other's feelings, so I usually take the diplomatic route. I am very rarely brutal in my honesty... I know from experience that it can be dangerous and the effects can be long lasting in a negative way.

I think those that relish in being "brutally" honest are insecure and are less about being honest and more about hurting others to mKe themselves feel better. Honesty is great, being blunt but tactful is possible.

Truth.

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km8907

michael1976_ca wrote: »

km8907 wrote: »

I had a friend that would constantly complain about how he was the nicest guy and how he would be such a gentleman but no one wanted to date him and that girls don't want nice guys they just want *kitten*. I put up with it for YEARS. One day I just told him that he wasn't a nice guy if he expects girls to date him just for doing something a decent human being should be doing anyways. Yeah we're not friends anymore.

i'm a nice guy who can't seem to date. i think i''m one of the good guy left in this world. i use my manners and hold open doors for people. i'm not mean when it comes to be honest. it depends if i'm asked if she looks fat in that dress of course i'm going to say no. i don't want to hurt there feelings. i'm honest to a point

I can't speak for your situation, only his. Just be yourself and you'll find the right person one day.

ruffalicious

In 6th grade, my classmate asked my crush if he knew who i was. he said, "yeah, the fat one?" fast forward 18 years later, he's fat and I'm not lol

seltzermint555

ruffalicious wrote: »

In 6th grade, my classmate asked my crush if he knew who i was. he said, "yeah, the fat one?" fast forward 18 years later, he's fat and I'm not lol

That's the best...I have many similar scenarios to laugh at, too. Scrolling through facebook is a hoot & even better when I get the IMs about whether I'm truly happy in my marriage blah blah. Dude, you're not cute like you were in '93...lol

RoxieDawn

I will turn this around and say plenty of things have been said to me where it was the 'brutal truth'.

I can be blunt but I am honest, I think there is a line where blunt is rude and can be hurtful A message is best received when a person is open minded, but there is no reason to be rude so being tactful goes a long way.

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ilfaith

I did tell a woman in the dressing room today that the dress she was trying on showed too much sideboob. (She did ask for my opinion...I generally don't give unsolicited wardrobe advice.) The thanked me and confessed that she feared that might be the case. She did not buy the dress.

jaycanchu

Years ago, I had a friend who was dating a guy who was an alcoholic and a loser, right after she had got divorced, from a good guy.
She had a house warming party and before everyone arrived, asked what I thought of him. I told her, she cried, and later that night she broke up with him.

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somejaykid

when I first moved here in the states, I was a sophomore in high school and this girl in our group told me straight up that I should moved back to my country and I don't belong here. everybody in the group was shocked and the teacher also, the sad part is the teacher only said "that wasn't nice" to her and everybody in the group didn't say *kitten*.

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somejaykid

^^^D Bag or being honest that was hurtful to me lol

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SugarMagnolia1979

I'm just honest with people. I would only call it brutally if it is something they don't care to hear. You can be honest without intentionally hurting someone's feelings but again, it is all how they take it. Just don't be a dick about it.

smantha32

dnm1207 wrote: »

Can you give an example of when you were brutally honest with someone, or when someone was brutally honest with you, and how did it turn out?

Yeah I had a friend who said "please stop me if I go for another guy who's wrong for me and just lock me in a closet somewhere". So then she got into a relationship with a mutual friend who not only were we in business with, but he's not into serious relationships. I pointed this out and told her it would be better for her if she stopped right now.
She stopped talking to me.
And they're not together anymore and she hates him now. Big surprise.

nrtauthor

ilfaith wrote: »

I did tell a woman in the dressing room today that the dress she was trying on showed too much sideboob. (She did ask for my opinion...I generally don't give unsolicited wardrobe advice.) The thanked me and confessed that she feared that might be the case. She did not buy the dress.

I don't see that as brutal honesty at all.

Brutal honesty is more like this:

Jane looks at Anne, "Nice day outside!"

Anne considers a moment then responds, "You know, your teeth are really freaking yellow."

Jane's hand flies up to her mouth, "Um... that was mean."

"I'm just being honest!" Anne shrugs.

^^ And that is a tame example of what I would view as brutal honesty. Brutal honesty, to me, is unsolicited, unneeded, deliberately cruel 'honesty'.

TheRoadDog

1987 - Got called into Vice-President's office where I worked. Knew it was going to be bad when I saw my boss, his boss and a Rep from HR sitting there waiting for me.

VP was direct and said he wanted my resignation. I told him I didn't want to resign and I didn't understand what was going on. (I knew but, I had just put a down payment on a Condo that morning.)

VP stands up behind his desk, leans forward, puts his fists on his desk, turns red and says, "You're a F..up, You've always been a F..up, and if you F..up one more time, and you will F..up, we will fire you!!"

At which point, the HR Rep stood up and said, "If you resign today, you will be paid one month's salary for every year you have worked here, but if you are fired, you will get nothing." ( I had been there 10 years.)

I said, "I'll go clear out my office while you cut my check."

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TheRoadDog

dnm1207 wrote: »

TheRoadDog wrote: »

1987 - Got called into Vice-President's office where I worked. Knew it was going to be bad when I saw my boss, his boss and a Rep from HR sitting there waiting for me.

VP was direct and said he wanted my resignation. I told him I didn't want to resign and I didn't understand what was going on. (I knew but, I had just put a down payment on a Condo that morning.)

VP stands up behind his desk, leans forward, puts his fists on his desk, turns red and says, "You're a F..up, You've always been a F..up, and if you F..up one more time, and you will F..up, we will fire you!!"

At which point, the HR Rep stood up and said, "If you resign today, you will be paid one month's salary for every year you have worked here, but if you are fired, you will get nothing." ( I had been there 10 years.)

I said, "I'll go clear out my office while you cut my check."

Even Charlie Sheen thinks that's a lot of #winning.

Love that story!

Every cloud has a silver lining. Within 60 days I was single, soon-to-be-homeless and broke. I, literally, packed everything I owned on my motorcycle and left Southern California. Headed north to Portland. Got a job through a Temp Agency for about a fifth of what I was making before. Met the woman I would spend the rest of my life with. It is now 31 years later. We have three daughters and two granddaughters. Ready to retire in about 18 months. Never been happier.