Ladies with broad shoulders

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2

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  • SusanMcMc
    SusanMcMc Posts: 252 Member
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    My husband used to have long hair and I hated it. It didn’t look professional to me and it was not my preferred style. But you know what? I realized he’s a grown man and who was I to tell him how to wear his hair? So I stopped commenting on clothing, hair, etc unless he asked my opinion because it quite frankly wasn’t my business.

    I tell this story because I 5hink your husbands comments were wildly immature and inappropriate. Even if he was correct that your shoulders would get HUGE, which as others pointed out is all but impossible, they are YOUR shoulders. You are a grown woman able to make her own choices about her body...full stop.

    This is VERY different from the concerned conversation you may have with a spouse when they gain too much weight to be healthy or go on a fad diet that gives them health issues. This is just aesthetics.
  • HoneyBadger302
    HoneyBadger302 Posts: 1,974 Member
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    You're looking awesome, keep it up.
  • Davidsdottir
    Davidsdottir Posts: 1,285 Member
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    Not at all, you look great!
  • Nama_Slay
    Nama_Slay Posts: 24 Member
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    Stew501 wrote: »
    So I just started stronglift 5*5 about a month ago. I had some extra energy yesterday, so I did some upright rows with the bar-45lbs; my husband said I really need to limit my upper body lifting since I already have broad shoulders and more muscle in my shoulders, compared to average women. This pi$$ed me off, I’m I being over sensitive?

    He's just worried you will look more jacked than him! Keep doing your thang, awesome work! I'm just at 40lbs for 8 reps with them upright rows! Beast on sista!!!
  • SusanMcMc
    SusanMcMc Posts: 252 Member
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    Your arms are amazing! I have tiny little chicken wing shoulders so I'm a bit jealous. Guess I need to start putting in the work!
  • Stew501
    Stew501 Posts: 65 Member
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    My husband does lift & honestly, I thought it would be good for me to start & have some quality time together. He told me instead of doing 5 sets of 5 reps; that I need to do 5 sets of 8 or 10 reps, with lower weight. This wouldn’t be the program then; was my response. Im still shocked by his attitude of me lifting weights; told me to do more cardio if I wanted to lean out; I’m still bookmarking website that contradicts everything he says
  • psuLemon
    psuLemon Posts: 38,391 MFP Moderator
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    Stew501 wrote: »
    My husband does lift & honestly, I thought it would be good for me to start & have some quality time together. He told me instead of doing 5 sets of 5 reps; that I need to do 5 sets of 8 or 10 reps, with lower weight. This wouldn’t be the program then; was my response. Im still shocked by his attitude of me lifting weights; told me to do more cardio if I wanted to lean out; I’m still bookmarking website that contradicts everything he says

    Ironically, he doesn't realize what he is suggesting. 8 to 10 reps is more linked to muscle hypertrophy (growth), which will make them bigger. And realistically, a program that works in a variety of rep ranges will maximize growth and strength. Staying in one rep range is going to limit one or another things.
  • KiwiLifter
    KiwiLifter Posts: 115 Member
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    mom23mangos wrote: »
    speedingticket wrote: »
    I honestly don't know how I'd feel if my partner said that. Like I know I'd be really angry, and lose a lot of respect for him, but I don't know how angry/pissed off I'd be. I'd be tempted to say it would be finito for him, I'd be well turned off by someone with such a "gendered" outlook.

    I've got a wide back and shoulders (used to be a swimmer). Personally I like it. It makes me feel athletic and strong. I only started lifting recently, but would bloody love it if I could get a bit more hench up top. Keep going, and do what makes you happy!

    Do you think your husband is at all insecure? Some of my friends asked my partner if he was worried I would get stronger than him. My partner is very supportive, and very proud (as in, of me), and so of course isn't remotely worried about that. But the fact two of my (male) friends thought that, made me think it might be an issue for some insecure blokes...

    That's very insightful. A while back I was at the gym stretching after a workout and the guys next to me started saying how they saw me busting out pullups and were impressed. They asked if my husband worked out. When I told them no, he doesn't do anything physical, one guys remarked "And he doesn't care that you are all GI Jane?" So, yeah, that male thought pattern may be more common than we realize.

    This is true, usually comments like these come from a place of a sense of inadequacy.
  • foreversnafu
    foreversnafu Posts: 29 Member
    edited March 2018
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    Stew501 wrote: »
    My husband does lift & honestly, I thought it would be good for me to start & have some quality time together. He told me instead of doing 5 sets of 5 reps; that I need to do 5 sets of 8 or 10 reps, with lower weight.

    Higher rep ranges, specifically in the 8-12, lead to more growth, so maybe he's encouraging you to get bigger through reverse psychology? Who knows. Either way, Mehdi's SL5x5 is pretty good for beginners (as in getting them through the door), but you should check out Ripp's SS3x5. It's kinda better for strength progress and you can substitute power cleans for barbell rows if that's what you prefer, although it's not recommended.

    You should check this book out:
    https://www.amazon.com/Starting-Strength-Basic-Barbell-Training/dp/0982522738

    A definite must read for anyone who squats a lot.
  • CJ_Holmes
    CJ_Holmes Posts: 759 Member
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    You look amazing. It might be interesting to really question him about where that comment came from. "What would it mean to you if my muscles got bigger?" "What do you think "average is?" "Why do you want me to look average?" He may have no idea why these opinions came up and you two could explore all the gender baggage together. Women are generally pretty aware of all our internalized body crap, but I think men have fewer opportunities to pick apart the messages about masculinity, femininity, and bodies. If it's hard to talk on that level together, it might be best done with a counselor to referee!
  • DancingMoosie
    DancingMoosie Posts: 8,613 Member
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    Stew501 wrote: »
    Thanks; I personally love my shoulders, it makes my waist look small. He went on an hour lecture; saying I’m gonna look bulky if I keep adding 5lbs every week. I tried to explain to him that I’m eating at a calorie deficit & there’s no way I’m gonna look bulky. We agreed to disagree

    This is my hubs too. My shoulders are broader than hips, although I would not call them "broad". Some guys just seem set on women doing the little pink dumbbells and yoga.
  • MegaMooseEsq
    MegaMooseEsq Posts: 3,118 Member
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    Stew501 wrote: »
    I guess instead of going to lift weight together; I’m gonna find a good marriage counselor instead. I didn’t develop broad shoulders in the last 4 weeks, but this male chauvinist attitude is new. Thanks again for all the support!

    Your shoulders look awesome! I’ve just started lifting and I’d kill for shoulders like that. Hopefully he’s having a moment of insecure insanity and can work through it.
  • giantrobot_powerlifting
    giantrobot_powerlifting Posts: 2,598 Member
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    ...are hot.
  • Stew501
    Stew501 Posts: 65 Member
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    @mij140, you look awesome! His loss for sure
  • sarahlifts
    sarahlifts Posts: 610 Member
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    Broad shoulders give a nice taper to the waistline.
    My waistline is boxy and thick 27 inches now. I have to get super duper lean to get my waist to 24 inches and it still looks boxy.

    I've been working on my shoulders, back and quads to give the illusion of a smaller waist. Delts are really small muscles that are hard to build in a surplus let alone a deficit.

    don't take it as a knock, we all say stupid things sometimes. I'm sure he means no harm.

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