People can't be bothered...
I see a lot of profiles saying "I am not accepting friends right now"... like they're some hot shot or something and people are just flooding to them by the thousands... If you want a friend, add me. I am happy to accept anyone who comes my way. I'm not too good for you. We are in this together, so lets do it! The only friends I don't want are the ambivalent.
I've been around the MFP block a couple times. I am not the most popular of people when it comes to this place, but if you want to call me friend I would be happy to have you.
I've been around the MFP block a couple times. I am not the most popular of people when it comes to this place, but if you want to call me friend I would be happy to have you.
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Replies
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Playing the Devil's advocate, I can totally understand how it becomes a burden to adequately keep up with so many people. Quality over quantity.14
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You seem pretty cool to me1
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Sorry, I'm not accepting friend requests at this time, currently, right now.5
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mandipandi75 wrote: »You seem pretty cool to me
I just try to be real... which usually isn't very cool. But I appreciate the complement.3 -
WorkerDrone83 wrote: »Playing the Devil's advocate, I can totally understand how it becomes a burden to adequately keep up with so many people. Quality over quantity.
Maybe I am just crazy, but seems like the kind of "problem" most people should be grateful for. I can see if you are the kind of person who tries to check in daily with your friends list and talk to everyone... but when you already have 400-500 friends, thats not happening anyway.
...but I can always appreciate a good Devils Advocate.2 -
If you have a lot of friends this just becomes a stress ball where you have to like all the things and you wanna tell everyone good job and it's exhausting.10
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I've been on MFP for about a decade. I have 10 friends. Averaging 1 per year. Once I hit a dozen, though, I'm capping it. Can't keep up.7
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CaptainFantastic01 wrote: »If you have a lot of friends this just becomes a stress ball where you have to like all the things and you wanna tell everyone good job and it's exhausting.
Understandable... Just to be clear, I am not saying everyone should hold hands, sing kumbaya and be friends with everyone. If you don't want to be friends with someone then that is your right and totally fine. It just seems a little pompous to say "I am not accepting friends at this moment".5 -
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I see a lot of profiles saying "I am not accepting friends right now"... like they're some hot shot or something and people are just flooding to them by the thousands... If you want a friend, add me. I am happy to accept anyone who comes my way. I'm not too good for you. We are in this together, so lets do it! The only friends I don't want are the ambivalent.
I've been around the MFP block a couple times. I am not the most popular of people when it comes to this place, but if you want to call me friend I would be happy to have you.
That's not really it. I've been on here for over 5 years and I can't even keep up with my current FL. I figure I'd just save people the time and trouble of sending one and then wondering why I don't accept it. I'm not really that great of a "friend" anyway...I rarely interact on my feed.
That said, I guess it doesn't work very well because I have 161 requests sitting in my box and I'm too lazy to go through and deny.3 -
WorkerDrone83 wrote: »Playing the Devil's advocate, I can totally understand how it becomes a burden to adequately keep up with so many people. Quality over quantity.
Actually, yeah.
Limited emotional bandwidth. Receiving meaningful engagement from someone who cares is worth 100x "good job!" from someone who isn't emotionally impacted by your workout/weight/health achievements.
That takes time, dialogue, and meaningful exchange.
But hey. If a 'good job' is motivating for you, and viewing others' workouts/logs, go for it!5 -
I see a lot of profiles saying "I am not accepting friends right now"... like they're some hot shot or something and people are just flooding to them by the thousands... If you want a friend, add me. I am happy to accept anyone who comes my way. I'm not too good for you. We are in this together, so lets do it! The only friends I don't want are the ambivalent.
I've been around the MFP block a couple times. I am not the most popular of people when it comes to this place, but if you want to call me friend I would be happy to have you.
You are making an awful lot of assumptions based off of someone's decision to add friends or not here.9 -
cwolfman13 wrote: »I see a lot of profiles saying "I am not accepting friends right now"... like they're some hot shot or something and people are just flooding to them by the thousands... If you want a friend, add me. I am happy to accept anyone who comes my way. I'm not too good for you. We are in this together, so lets do it! The only friends I don't want are the ambivalent.
I've been around the MFP block a couple times. I am not the most popular of people when it comes to this place, but if you want to call me friend I would be happy to have you.
That's not really it. I've been on here for over 5 years and I can't even keep up with my current FL. I figure I'd just save people the time and trouble of sending one and then wondering why I don't accept it. I'm not really that great of a "friend" anyway...I rarely interact on my feed.
That said, I guess it doesn't work very well because I have 161 requests sitting in my box and I'm too lazy to go through and deny.
Yeah, I remember you Wolf, back from the good ol days... lol (Hope all is well)
I guess at the end of the day it is what it is. Not my style, so I just don't understand it... but to each his own.1 -
I give everyone a chance and add them.
If they go a long time without logging in or if they are messaging me creepy or inappropriate things, then I will delete them1 -
Go_Deskercise wrote: »I give everyone a chance and add them.
If they go a long time without logging in or if they are messaging me creepy or inappropriate things, then I will delete them
More than fair.1 -
I don't interact on my wall at anymore, it became a time consumer and yes exhausting, I've been here over 4 years. My closest friends know to pm me and I do the same.
I just had a friend on my list a few minutes ago message me and ask if I 'were still here or gone'? He may delete me or not. But I am a terrible wall friend.4 -
I think if you post a lot on the main boards you get a lot more friend requests than you would normally, before I used the forums I didn't get any friend requests, now I get at least 2 or 3 per day, I don't personally decline requests but I can understand why some people do, and being upfront about it just saves being ignorant if you don't want to add people.
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CoffeeAndContour wrote: »Or maybe they want to be a good friend to the friends they already have so they maintain a smaller group of friends.
Understand, I don't disagree with wanting to be this kind of person. But this is where putting something such as "I really value the friends I have on here and don't want to become overwhelmed with too many interactions" (or something of the sort) would be a much better explanation. My whole reason for posting was because I was looking for people who I thought I could "look up to" and the 6 out of 6 I clicked on all said "I am not accepting friend requests"... thats it.
It is just discouraging to people looking to better themselves and I feel like the whole point of even being on this site is to encourage others...0 -
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CoffeeAndContour wrote: »Or maybe they want to be a good friend to the friends they already have so they maintain a smaller group of friends.
Bingo3 -
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CoffeeAndContour wrote: »Or maybe they want to be a good friend to the friends they already have so they maintain a smaller group of friends.
Understand, I don't disagree with wanting to be this kind of person. But this is where putting something such as "I really value the friends I have on here and don't want to become overwhelmed with too many interactions" (or something of the sort) would be a much better explanation. My whole reason for posting was because I was looking for people who I thought I could "look up to" and the 6 out of 6 I clicked on all said "I am not accepting friend requests"... thats it.
It is just discouraging to people looking to better themselves and I feel like the whole point of even being on this site is to encourage others...
Ah--you want certain friends. People who are knowlegable and experienced, the so called "vets". They've been around a long time and are clogged with friend requests. I'm just happy that they take the time to post, much less "friend" me. If you want advice from them you can always try a PM.2 -
LollaprimaJenny wrote: »WorkerDrone83 wrote: »Playing the Devil's advocate, I can totally understand how it becomes a burden to adequately keep up with so many people. Quality over quantity.
Actually, yeah.
Limited emotional bandwidth. Receiving meaningful engagement from someone who cares is worth 100x "good job!" from someone who isn't emotionally impacted by your workout/weight/health achievements.
That takes time, dialogue, and meaningful exchange.
But hey. If a 'good job' is motivating for you, and viewing others' workouts/logs, go for it!
I find the automatic responses the worst. The “great day” or “great choices” on your locked food log.
[Peggy Sue gained 1.7 lbs this weekend]
Great job, Peg! Keep it up!
Umm...3 -
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I was on another app for a couple of years where your wall was where you interacted with each other; on MFP, it feels like if you want to interact with other members, it's best to head out to the forums. If they're an active poster on the message boards, then you can keep up with them there. I find plenty of inspiration and good advice on the message boards.
As for people accepting new friends, it's really up to the person. Personally, I accept friend requests, but I don't really post much of anything on my wall. I don't think it's a question of people feeling put off by friend requests, but rather how they choose to use MFP.3 -
laprimaJenny wrote: »
That takes time and effort. Plus it’s logical. That doesn’t fly here.
lmao, understood1 -
snowflake954 wrote: »
Ah--you want certain friends. People who are knowlegable and experienced, the so called "vets". They've been around a long time and are clogged with friend requests. I'm just happy that they take the time to post, much less "friend" me. If you want advice from them you can always try a PM.
I want both people I can inspire and people who inspire me. I am more than happy to accept someone who may find my day-to-day to be inspirational and wants to keep up with me, as that is what I am looking for from others.0 -
snowflake954 wrote: »CoffeeAndContour wrote: »Or maybe they want to be a good friend to the friends they already have so they maintain a smaller group of friends.
Understand, I don't disagree with wanting to be this kind of person. But this is where putting something such as "I really value the friends I have on here and don't want to become overwhelmed with too many interactions" (or something of the sort) would be a much better explanation. My whole reason for posting was because I was looking for people who I thought I could "look up to" and the 6 out of 6 I clicked on all said "I am not accepting friend requests"... thats it.
It is just discouraging to people looking to better themselves and I feel like the whole point of even being on this site is to encourage others...
Ah--you want certain friends. People who are knowlegable and experienced, the so called "vets". They've been around a long time and are clogged with friend requests. I'm just happy that they take the time to post, much less "friend" me. If you want advice from them you can always try a PM.
I'm for *kitten* on my wall...I enjoy posting in the forums and always respond to PMs regardless of who it is.2
This discussion has been closed.
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