People can't be bothered...

24

Replies

  • RoxieDawn
    RoxieDawn Posts: 15,488 Member
    edited March 2018
    PDR85 wrote: »

    Ah--you want certain friends. People who are knowlegable and experienced, the so called "vets". They've been around a long time and are clogged with friend requests. I'm just happy that they take the time to post, much less "friend" me. If you want advice from them you can always try a PM.

    I want both people I can inspire and people who inspire me. I am more than happy to accept someone who may find my day-to-day to be inspirational and wants to keep up with me, as that is what I am looking for from others.

    There are a lot of people out there like this. If you spend a little bit of time on the main boards you will meet a ton of people like this.

    I interact on the main boards and here in Chit Chat and I met a ton of people in these forums. When you meet people and friend them, friend some your friends friends as well.

    I am a crappy wall friend as I stated but I will talk to anyone that pms me... well as long as they are not creepy which has been known to happen way more times than I care to say. :smiley:
  • PDR85
    PDR85 Posts: 372 Member
    RoxieDawn wrote: »

    There are a lot of people out there like this. If you spend a little bit of time on the main boards you will meet a ton of people like this.

    I interact on the main boards and here in Chit Chat and I met a ton of people in these forums. When you meet people and friend them, friend some your friends friends as well.

    I am a crappy wall friend as I stated but I will talk to anyone that pms me... well as long as they are not creepy which has been known to happen way more times than I care to say. :smiley:

    that is some really good information and I will keep that in mind. I will try being more active in the forum.

    and I don't see how "you look really nice today in that pink tank top" is creepy, it's just a complement... :p
  • Smilin40
    Smilin40 Posts: 1,828 Member
    Think it’s like most things people think more is better so try and hoover up all the friends they can but really if you have a job things to do family it’s hard to talk to more than a few with any real meaning rest are just numbers .
  • WhisperingNighthawk
    WhisperingNighthawk Posts: 138 Member
    I was here a few years ago and from my experience having friends can just suck the life right out of you. Not to mention quite a letdown when you support them and they do not support you back. It's great to support and encourage people but you are ultimately here for yourself, not others. So having friends or not is a personal decision and I don't see it as being pompous to say "I'm not/no longer accepting friend requests." I like just being on the forums, reading comments, sometimes adding my own and seeing people from all over the world.
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,149 Member
    I'm just a shizzle person. Who wants to get encouragement from from a depressive?
  • Smilin40
    Smilin40 Posts: 1,828 Member
    zyxst wrote: »
    I'm just a shizzle person. Who wants to get encouragement from from a depressive?

    There is soooo much on here, change nothing nothing changes ,I agree like a smile more than a dead eyed stare .
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  • Just_Mel_
    Just_Mel_ Posts: 3,992 Member
    It's not you, it's me.
  • Smilin40
    Smilin40 Posts: 1,828 Member
    Making presumptions about other people on the internet, check.
    Slight self-deprecation, check.
    Posting in Fun & Games, check.

    Congratulations on nailing the trifecta of whoring yourself out for more friends on mfp. You should be all set by the end of the day.

    am5d7slgs011.gif
  • Smilin40
    Smilin40 Posts: 1,828 Member
    newmeadow wrote: »
    Smilin40 wrote: »
    zyxst wrote: »
    I'm just a shizzle person. Who wants to get encouragement from from a depressive?

    There is soooo much on here, change nothing nothing changes ,I agree like a smile more than a dead eyed stare .

    zyxst has changed her body completely while at MFP and has lost well over 100 lbs. She is an example of success, counting calories meticulously for years until she reached goal. She is an inspiration to all who have followed her wonderful progress. We're all rooting for her still, knowing she has the strength to overcome any obstacles, which she has clearly proven in the past. Good to see you posting zyxst.
    Not what I meant saw tones of great success stories on here ment being down on yourself all the time it’s hard to get out of that funk believe me I know don’t know zyxst but great for her well done.
  • Smilin40
    Smilin40 Posts: 1,828 Member
    This is my 270th bajillionth account. Who wants to keep re-adding me? nobody. Thats why I don't bother.

    Why so many accounts?
  • Smilin40
    Smilin40 Posts: 1,828 Member
    Smilin40 wrote: »
    This is my 270th bajillionth account. Who wants to keep re-adding me? nobody. Thats why I don't bother.

    Why so many accounts?

    The Man. And sometimes I hate it here.

    Well hope it goes better this time :smiley:
  • tinak33
    tinak33 Posts: 9,883 Member
    Making presumptions about other people on the internet, check.
    Slight self-deprecation, check.
    Posting in Fun & Games, check.

    Congratulations on nailing the trifecta of whoring yourself out for more friends on mfp. You should be all set by the end of the day.

    z1vajoxegbmo.jpg
  • PDR85
    PDR85 Posts: 372 Member
    Making presumptions about other people on the internet, check.
    Slight self-deprecation, check.
    Posting in Fun & Games, check.

    Congratulations on nailing the trifecta of whoring yourself out for more friends on mfp. You should be all set by the end of the day.

    I would say more like "congratulations, you're on the internet"...
  • goatg
    goatg Posts: 1,399 Member
    goatg wrote: »
    Playing the Devil's advocate, I can totally understand how it becomes a burden to adequately keep up with so many people. Quality over quantity.

    Actually, yeah.
    Limited emotional bandwidth. Receiving meaningful engagement from someone who cares is worth 100x "good job!" from someone who isn't emotionally impacted by your workout/weight/health achievements.
    That takes time, dialogue, and meaningful exchange.

    But hey. If a 'good job' is motivating for you, and viewing others' workouts/logs, go for it!

    I find the automatic responses the worst. The “great day” or “great choices” on your locked food log.

    Yeah, I just removed someone for that reason. Not personal at all. Just....live and learn, I guess.
    I didn't feel that I was contributing anything back either. And it was just clogging up my feed. Every time I read the random "good job!" it was like there was a metaphorical echo.
  • goatg
    goatg Posts: 1,399 Member
    PDR85 wrote: »

    Ah--you want certain friends. People who are knowlegable and experienced, the so called "vets". They've been around a long time and are clogged with friend requests. I'm just happy that they take the time to post, much less "friend" me. If you want advice from them you can always try a PM.

    I want both people I can inspire and people who inspire me. I am more than happy to accept someone who may find my day-to-day to be inspirational and wants to keep up with me, as that is what I am looking for from others.


    That's what inspires you. Not everyone is inspired the same way. In fact, often the things that one finds inspirational another finds cumbersome....

    This thread has officially garnered way too much effort.
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,179 Member
    Most of the "don't bother me" people are women who are just simply unwilling to receive additional body part pics from random dudes. It sucks that such also excludes women, but life isn't supposed to be fair.
  • PDR85
    PDR85 Posts: 372 Member
    goatg wrote: »

    This thread has officially garnered way too much effort.

    Well thank you for your participation anyway. ;)
  • jjpptt2
    jjpptt2 Posts: 5,650 Member
    edited March 2018
    goatg wrote: »
    RoxieDawn wrote: »
    as they are not creepy which has been known to happen way more times than I care to say. :smiley:

    Yeah. If a guy only has attractive female friends on his friends' list, that's pretty much an automatic no.

    But where do you draw that line? Being surrounded by attractive people can be motivating, can't it? Makes you want do/be better? Does it have to be (is it necessarily) creepy? Probably different for me as a guy on MFP than for you, though.
  • goatg
    goatg Posts: 1,399 Member
    PDR85 wrote: »
    goatg wrote: »

    This thread has officially garnered way too much effort.

    Well thank you for your participation anyway. ;)

    My pleeeaassu........ you're welcome ; p
  • Mikkimeow
    Mikkimeow Posts: 139 Member
    I get why people don't add. I was an MFP regular for six years and had a group of about 20 friends I exclusively talked to. i did not add new people unless they were vetted by my friends. It got weird and everyone was dating everyone and there was so much drama that I ended up deactivating and starting over. now I literally just add people I haven't been friends with here by default. Expand your circles, idk
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  • RoxieDawn
    RoxieDawn Posts: 15,488 Member
    edited March 2018
    goatg wrote: »
    RoxieDawn wrote: »
    as they are not creepy which has been known to happen way more times than I care to say. :smiley:

    Yeah. If a guy only has attractive female friends on his friends' list, that's pretty much an automatic no.

    There are way more guys that have 'attractive females only' lists than not.

    I have thoughts about particular guy types that do this and why. I have been here long enough to have seen a lot of interactions not related to fitness or diet. :wink:
  • goatg
    goatg Posts: 1,399 Member
    edited March 2018
    jjpptt2 wrote: »
    But where do you draw that line? Being surrounded by attractive people can be motivating, can't it? Makes you want do/be better? Does it have to be (is it necessarily) creepy? Probably different for me as a guy on MFP than for you, though.

    I draw the line when 90%+ of his friends are female.**
    If he's so focused on how women look, and has no male peers to discuss training with, I'm really not interested in being his midnight snack.

    **Female and *trying* to appear attractive; big difference close-up selfies and body shots vs. training/racing pictures. I do my due diligence ;p
  • goatg
    goatg Posts: 1,399 Member
    goatg wrote: »
    jjpptt2 wrote: »
    But where do you draw that line? Being surrounded by attractive people can be motivating, can't it? Makes you want do/be better? Does it have to be (is it necessarily) creepy? Probably different for me as a guy on MFP than for you, though.

    I draw the line when 90%+ of his friends are female.**
    If he's so focused on how women look, and has no male peers to discuss training with, I'm really not interested in being his midnight snack.

    **Female and *trying* to appear attractive; big difference close-up selfies and body shots vs. training/racing pictures. I do my due diligence ;p

    @Danw586 is dangerously close to being deleted for this reason ;p

  • RoxieDawn
    RoxieDawn Posts: 15,488 Member
    goatg wrote: »
    goatg wrote: »
    jjpptt2 wrote: »
    But where do you draw that line? Being surrounded by attractive people can be motivating, can't it? Makes you want do/be better? Does it have to be (is it necessarily) creepy? Probably different for me as a guy on MFP than for you, though.

    I draw the line when 90%+ of his friends are female.**
    If he's so focused on how women look, and has no male peers to discuss training with, I'm really not interested in being his midnight snack.

    **Female and *trying* to appear attractive; big difference close-up selfies and body shots vs. training/racing pictures. I do my due diligence ;p

    xxxxxx is dangerously close to being deleted for this reason ;p

    I would take the tag out.

    Its okay to be choosy who you accept and never feel bad for deleting especially for being inappropriate.
  • goatg
    goatg Posts: 1,399 Member
    RoxieDawn wrote: »
    goatg wrote: »
    goatg wrote: »
    jjpptt2 wrote: »
    But where do you draw that line? Being surrounded by attractive people can be motivating, can't it? Makes you want do/be better? Does it have to be (is it necessarily) creepy? Probably different for me as a guy on MFP than for you, though.

    I draw the line when 90%+ of his friends are female.**
    If he's so focused on how women look, and has no male peers to discuss training with, I'm really not interested in being his midnight snack.

    **Female and *trying* to appear attractive; big difference close-up selfies and body shots vs. training/racing pictures. I do my due diligence ;p

    xxxxxx is dangerously close to being deleted for this reason ;p

    I would take the tag out.

    Its okay to be choosy who you accept and never feel bad for deleting especially for being inappropriate.


    I was half teasing! Hence the "; p"

    I think he would know. We've messaged a teeny bit. But I appreciate your thoughts and perspective, thanks : )
  • jjpptt2
    jjpptt2 Posts: 5,650 Member
    newmeadow wrote: »
    jjpptt2 wrote: »
    goatg wrote: »
    RoxieDawn wrote: »
    as they are not creepy which has been known to happen way more times than I care to say. :smiley:

    Yeah. If a guy only has attractive female friends on his friends' list, that's pretty much an automatic no.

    But where do you draw that line? Being surrounded by attractive people can be motivating, can't it? Makes you want do/be better? Does it have to be (is it necessarily) creepy? Probably different for me as a guy on MFP than for you, though.

    I know some kind hearted fit men who are motivated by keeping in touch with the progress of overweight women who are staying on course and getting closer to their goal. Women who would themselves like the motivation of talking with fit people because that's what they're aspiring towards. If so, allowing overweight women to be on your friend list and including them in your wall conversations would be a friendly and motivating thing to do for probably everyone involved.

    But in my case, I'm the overweight, slow, out-of-shape guy who finds inspiration from successful people - be it people who are leaner than me, stronger than me, faster than me, or more accomplished than me in some other way. So I'm drawn to having those types of people on my FL - which means I've got a lot of fast, strong, good-looking people on my list. At least until they start to annoy me. But I don't think I'm creepy.
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