Unsupportive family who still think I'm obese

Mikkimeow

WOW, first of all, congratulations! What you did required commitment, dedication, and strength of character beyond what you family could imagine. Sometimes it is hard to realize that the people that should be there for us the most can't because they are still wrapped in their own victimization and self hate.

You are not the fat sister, you are not the obese person your family paints you to be. The biggest thing you can learn is that who you are is defined by you and you only. Find a supportive group of people that know you for who you are and not their toxic perception of you.

OP, my mother is very much the same way. She called me Homer Simpson, a football player (due to my size in high school) and a number of cruel things. I was put on diets at age 14 when I was still in a healthy weight range. It took years to unlearn the disordered eating habits she gave me. When I lost a significant amount of weight, she was the last person to acknowledge it, and only because I brought it up. It hurt. It wasn't until I found therapy that I realized what a small and scared person my mother was, and how my empowerment felt personal to her lack of growth was I able to let go of the need for validation and pain of rejection. I learned to be proud of myself without my mother's words staining that.

They see us spread our wings and wonder why they can't fly too.

We are here for you and proud of you.