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Emotional support needed

elphie754

Kind of upset over a comment a patients family member said to me. She had been extremely rude and hindering patient care so I said she couldn’t come in the ambulance. She got mad at that and when the guys were putting the stretcher in she said “you should let her do it because she needs to lose weight”.

Replies

chesves

I think it says much more about the other person's character than yours! When faced with negative comments, I try to "rise above" ..... easier said than done sometimes, but giving it too much thought just means you're wasting energy on those not worth it. Rise above and move on ......

elphie754

chesves wrote: »

I think it says much more about the other person's character than yours! When faced with negative comments, I try to "rise above" ..... easier said than done sometimes, but giving it too much thought just means you're wasting energy on those not worth it. Rise above and move on ......

I know it shouldn’t bother me so much (especially since she was intoxicated) but it does.

L1zardQueen

I’m so sorry. People are *kitten* sometimes. Hugs

kshama2001

I'm wondering if she's always unpleasant or just when freaking out over a family member. I'm going to go with always unpleasant. Either way, it's about her, not you.

nutmegoreo

You know she's just being manipulative and hateful because it was a situation she couldn't control. She's in a situation where she's scared, but also lashing out at those around her. She picked what she felt would be the most sensitive spot to poke at. I'm sorry you were on the receiving end of it. Not ever a good feeling.

chesves

elphie754 wrote: »

chesves wrote: »

I think it says much more about the other person's character than yours! When faced with negative comments, I try to "rise above" ..... easier said than done sometimes, but giving it too much thought just means you're wasting energy on those not worth it. Rise above and move on ......

I know it shouldn’t bother me so much (especially since she was intoxicated) but it does.

I'm sorry you were the recipient of someone's hurtfulness .... I guess the real question is, "Now what?" -- what are YOU going to do about it? What will YOUR response be? Will you turn to food? Will you self-sabotage? Will you have self-doubt about the journey you're on? Will you believe those words? OR, will you rise above? Will you make it a point to lift someone else up? Will you make it a point to make a healthy choice FOR you? Will you make it a point to NOT believe those awful words?

I guess what I'm trying to say is - you can't affect/undo what was said, but you CAN affect what the outcome is. When you spend too much energy worrying about it, you're giving your power away to someone who doesn't deserve that much energy.

Sending prayers, hugs, and positive thoughts your way!

2aycocks

She's just an *kitten*!

mrsloganlife

Everyone is spot on--there is something with her (despite her being drunk--a drunk person says what a sober person thinks) that makes her ugly inside. But I get it...it hurt. Even when you know that you are better than them, it hurts.

I had someone troll me on Instagram and call me fat girl on a lot of pictures. And I knew he was a worse person (long story short he was sexually harassing my sister and stalking her and did not appreciate my words to him), but they still bothered me. And then I used it as motivation. I literally printed out one of the pictures with his comment highlighted and I would look at it. Because to me, while I know that I will always be better than him, I wanted down the road to show publicly that I am always going to be better.

It sounds so twisted, but turning those harmful words into motivation to continue to kick you-know-what can really help! And then you will be a wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy better person than that drunkie will ever hope to be!

workinonit1956

Consider the source. Hugs.

Packerjohn

I have the utmost respect for EMTs. *kitten* that *kitten*. You're so much better than her.

bogwoppt1

She gets to live her life as a total *kitten*, you get to live yours saving lives. One of you is winning the game of life.

conniemaxwell5

She would have lashed out at anyone who was getting in her way, and you just happened to be the one. That was her choice. You get to choose how it affects you. "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

brightresolve

I am so sorry. People can be horrid. And people can be loving and supportive, look at the above. And you are here talking about what happened, so A+ on taking care of yourself. Hope you soon feel renewed confidence and rise above.

Friend of mine used to say, you're teflon coated - peel that crap flung by others off you and dispose of it properly, it never was yours!

Oma827

As a first responder you have dedicated your life to kindness. You heard unkindness and you don’t care for it. Perfectly logical!

She cannot control your personal health choices. Only you can. Pursue your goals! They are for you and you alone. So sorry you ran into that situation.

ServusChristi

Retired cop here. We were taught to think of everyone as brain-damaged so that we didn't take anything personally. This was mid-career and it revolutionized our department's culture -- overnight, we became professional.

chris0547

I was a firefighter and ambulance driver for 7 years so I know that family members get stressed and lash out sometimes. That said, remember that what you are doing has more nobility than this patient's family member could muster if their life depended on it.

100_PROOF_

I'm sorry. Sometimes people are just jerks.

RespiratoryScot

With patients and families, I always try to remember that stress sometimes influences people to become unlike themselves. They say hateful things. They say ignorant things. They say untrue things. Telling myself this when it happens helps me actually feel sorry for them, thankful for the health I have, extra pounds or not

And some patients and families are just hateful to the core, even without stress. Not much you can do with them.

jennifer_417

Ew. What a *katzenkinder*

briscogun

One of my favorite sayings is: Adversity doesn't build character, it reveals it.

So when things hit the fan, that's when you see someone's true nature. Its not about you, its about them. They said it to be hurtful so don't let them win. I'm sure their life is probably 10x worse and they lash out at others to make themselves feel better. If you let it stick with you, they win. I've been in the same boat before. People can say things and they roll off my back 9 out of 10 times but that one time it sticks it my craw for some reason and stays with me. You just have to make the decision to let it go.

At the end of the day, you were there helping which was a heck of a lot more than the mean person was doing. Take comfort and satisfaction in the fact that you helped when you were needed.

CaliMomTeach

People are rude. I took my daughter to urgent care and the nurse and I recognized each other, but couldn't figure out from where. It turned out her son was a former student at my school. I asked who his teacher was and she said, "It was this heavy-set woman". It turned out that I was that teacher. It made me feel so bad. I've lost 50 something pounds since her son was in my class, and in her defense I'm sure it was an accurate description, but it didn't feel good hearing it. What was said to you was intentionally hurtful and inexcusable! That is just awful.

1houndgal

elphie754 wrote: »

Kind of upset over a comment a patients family member said to me. She had been extremely rude and hindering patient care so I said she couldn’t come in the ambulance. She got mad at that and when the guys were putting the stretcher in she said “you should let her do it because she needs to lose weight”.

Don't let the turkey keep you from soaring with eagles. Let her comment roll off you like water on a ducks back. Hugs

elphie754

Thank you everyone. I don’t usually let comments get to me because I know people are different when faced with an emergency on top of whatever substance she was under the influence of. It was just the icing on top of the cake for that shift since I was already having a bad night.

Found out later that she came to the hospital screaming and yelling and was removed by PD. As horrible as it sounds, that made me feel a little better when I heard that.

L1zardQueen

Snicker

kshama2001

ServusChristi wrote: »

Retired cop here. We were taught to think of everyone as brain-damaged so that we didn't take anything personally. This was mid-career and it revolutionized our department's culture -- overnight, we became professional.

Similarly, my tractor trailer driving school emphasized the need for driving defensively because most "civilian" drivers were terrible drivers.