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Ready2befithealthy
Posts: 303 Member
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Alright I hope I get a glimmer of hope in this thread...
So I am recently single and I’m trying to get back into the dating world as a lot of you can relate. Seems like everyone just wants a hook up. Ugh! For you that are out there on dating sites is that your sole reason for being out there or are you looking for something more meaningful?
No judgement just curious.
So I am recently single and I’m trying to get back into the dating world as a lot of you can relate. Seems like everyone just wants a hook up. Ugh! For you that are out there on dating sites is that your sole reason for being out there or are you looking for something more meaningful?
No judgement just curious.
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Replies
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I'm in the same boat girl. I'm a mom, recently divorced and working full time and I don't have time for that kind of BS!!! I feel like all those sites are geared mostly that way unfortunately
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SparkyJess3 wrote: »I'm in the same boat girl. I'm a mom, recently divorced and working full time and I don't have time for that kind of BS!!! I feel like all those sites are geared mostly that way unfortunately
I got on a site and put *not looking for a hook up* met guys out (that didn’t live up to their height stated or their picture for that matter) and they are all the same old *kitten*. Just wanting in my pants. Man...guess single life might be the way I go. Yes I’m recently divorced too girl. Just need to lean on friendship and good wine go get through this.
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I met my husband online. It was a few years ago (I think like 6 at this point) and before tender type apps (I think anyways). I met him on Plenty of fish, is that even around anymore?
Anyways, even when I did it there was alot of stupid "hey baby, I can treat you like a princess" stupidity going on. You just have to wade through it. Ultimately, my opinion is you get out what you put in. It takes time and effort to find someone decent in real life and online. Expect to go through alot of profiles, talk for a bit online first, then try to meet in real life.1 -
4legsRbetterthan2 wrote: »I met my husband online. It was a few years ago (I think like 6 at this point) and before tender type apps (I think anyways). I met him on Plenty of fish, is that even around anymore?
Anyways, even when I did it there was alot of stupid "hey baby, I can treat you like a princess" stupidity going on. You just have to wade through it. Ultimately, my opinion is you get out what you put in. It takes time and effort to find someone decent in real life and online. Expect to go through alot of profiles, talk for a bit online first, then try to meet in real life.
Glad you had success. Gives me some hope. Guys see these amazing ladies are all looking or were looking for something more meaningful. Just saying...that’s what women typically want
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Ready2befithealthy wrote: »Alright I hope I get a glimmer of hope in this thread...
So I am recently single and I’m trying to get back into the dating world as a lot of you can relate. Seems like everyone just wants a hook up. Ugh! For you that are out there on dating sites is that your sole reason for being out there or are you looking for something more meaningful?
No judgement just curious.
I dropped all of my accounts on dating sites/apps a while back. Never found anyone that I liked, even though I met some nice women. Aside from one, we just didn't connect well enough to go beyond initial meeting. The one I did wind up dating for a couple of months, what a strange relationship that turned out to be...
As to just being just a hook-up site, I heard about it. But, never ran across women who were like that. But, then again, that wasn't why I was there. Was looking for a legitimate, possible long-term, relationship. I ran into more fake accounts, and people wanting to take advantage of me (not for sex, but free-rides).
Now, I'm happy being single. I know a lot of really nice women, some are really good friends now. But, have yet to meet one that really makes me not want to be single. If she ever crosses my path, then I'll happily see where it goes. Until then, I'm happy being me and doing my thing.5 -
xFunctionalStrengthx wrote: »Ready2befithealthy wrote: »Alright I hope I get a glimmer of hope in this thread...
So I am recently single and I’m trying to get back into the dating world as a lot of you can relate. Seems like everyone just wants a hook up. Ugh! For you that are out there on dating sites is that your sole reason for being out there or are you looking for something more meaningful?
No judgement just curious.
I dropped all of my accounts on dating sites/apps a while back. Never found anyone that I liked, even though I met some nice women. Aside from one, we just didn't connect well enough to go beyond initial meeting. The one I did wind up dating for a couple of months, what a strange relationship that turned out to be...
As to just being just a hook-up site, I heard about it. But, never ran across women who were like that. But, then again, that wasn't why I was there. Was looking for a legitimate, possible long-term, relationship. I ran into more fake accounts, and people wanting to take advantage of me (not for sex, but free-rides).
Now, I'm happy being single. I know a lot of really nice women, some are really good friends now. But, have yet to meet one that really makes me not want to be single. If she ever crosses my path, then I'll happily see where it goes. Until then, I'm happy being me and doing my thing.
Nice! Good to hear there’s good guys out there. Glad your happy with just being single right now. That’s cool. Man, I’d rather be single than with my ex so there’s that. Wishing you the best.
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My very limited experience with on line dating apps was opposite. Every guy that seemed nice enough to meet after a few messages were looking to be serious like instantly. Granted I was very selective in whom I would even message to start with and even more so with who i would decide to meet. So maybe it's all in being selective when reading their bios?
But I will say it seems men my age are one way or the other, looking to hook up or looking to get married tomorrow. No in between. That is the reason I stopped using them. Figure if there is a guy for me out there, it'll just happen.3 -
Ready2befithealthy wrote: »xFunctionalStrengthx wrote: »Ready2befithealthy wrote: »Alright I hope I get a glimmer of hope in this thread...
So I am recently single and I’m trying to get back into the dating world as a lot of you can relate. Seems like everyone just wants a hook up. Ugh! For you that are out there on dating sites is that your sole reason for being out there or are you looking for something more meaningful?
No judgement just curious.
I dropped all of my accounts on dating sites/apps a while back. Never found anyone that I liked, even though I met some nice women. Aside from one, we just didn't connect well enough to go beyond initial meeting. The one I did wind up dating for a couple of months, what a strange relationship that turned out to be...
As to just being just a hook-up site, I heard about it. But, never ran across women who were like that. But, then again, that wasn't why I was there. Was looking for a legitimate, possible long-term, relationship. I ran into more fake accounts, and people wanting to take advantage of me (not for sex, but free-rides).
Now, I'm happy being single. I know a lot of really nice women, some are really good friends now. But, have yet to meet one that really makes me not want to be single. If she ever crosses my path, then I'll happily see where it goes. Until then, I'm happy being me and doing my thing.
Nice! Good to hear there’s good guys out there. Glad your happy with just being single right now. That’s cool. Man, I’d rather be single than with my ex so there’s that. Wishing you the best.
Thanks. We're out there. Just seems we get overlooked by many because of various reasons. Which, is okay since there's so many facts to a person, it's hard to find the right one you're looking for.
Wish you the best as well.2 -
Ready2befithealthy wrote: »SparkyJess3 wrote: »I'm in the same boat girl. I'm a mom, recently divorced and working full time and I don't have time for that kind of BS!!! I feel like all those sites are geared mostly that way unfortunately
I got on a site and put *not looking for a hook up* met guys out (that didn’t live up to their height stated or their picture for that matter) and they are all the same old *kitten*. Just wanting in my pants. Man...guess single life might be the way I go. Yes I’m recently divorced too girl. Just need to lean on friendship and good wine go get through this.
Yep! Feel free to add me girl! We are in this together LOL1 -
FWIW...
I'm not on sites anymore, but at one point I had spent significant time on both FitnessSingles.com and Match.com (not sure if the prior even exists anymore). I was there for an actual relationship, not just a hookup.1 -
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I am on a few sites. My goal is to meet people, have fun and hope there is that connection that leads to a long-term thing. That said, that connection on both sides has been pretty rare!
I think I tend to get overlooked somewhat for my height (5'6"), even women 5'1" or so put in their profile looking for guys 5'10" plus, which I get if you are 5'8-5'9" but 5' to 5'4" seems a little much!1 -
I am on a few sites. My goal is to meet people, have fun and hope there is that connection that leads to a long-term thing. That said, that connection on both sides has been pretty rare!
I think I tend to get overlooked somewhat for my height (5'6"), even women 5'1" or so put in their profile looking for guys 5'10" plus, which I get if you are 5'8-5'9" but 5' to 5'4" seems a little much!
My experience was similar... it was like speed dating, but without the speed. The vast majority of my dates fell into the "nothing especially wrong/bad, but nothing especially good either" classification.1 -
I haven't found the interest in pure hook ups, but maybe that's due to my approach. I've been out with a few men that won't even shake my hand on the 3rd date.1
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I am on a few sites. My goal is to meet people, have fun and hope there is that connection that leads to a long-term thing. That said, that connection on both sides has been pretty rare!
I think I tend to get overlooked somewhat for my height (5'6"), even women 5'1" or so put in their profile looking for guys 5'10" plus, which I get if you are 5'8-5'9" but 5' to 5'4" seems a little much!
Hugs boo.
Maybe it's your mileage radius that stops them
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I met my husband on OkCupid 5 years ago. I found that a lot of the guys on there were just there looking for hookups. Like a few of you, I was a newly divorced mom and to some guys, that was a turn off. I even had one guy who asked me out last minute on a Wednesday night and when I declined because of work/kid responsibilities he said "Ugg you're such a mom."
I finally got to the point where I said I was not going to respond to anymore "hey girl" messages (one liners with no substance). Then along came this hottie who introduced himself in a one liner with no substance. He then sent another message a few minutes later and complimented my long hair. I almost blew him off but hey....he was hot....no shame in my game. 5 years and 3 kids later and I'd say it worked out for the best.
My advice - know your worth and don't settle for less. But also don't completely write someone off because their first message doesn't have a whole lot of substance.2 -
I haven't gotten on dating sites because of the thought that people are only going to want to hook up and I want to get to know someone. I want to meet people chat and learn about the person so that there could be a long term relationship whether as friends or more but, the stereotype is hook ups and many women think that if a guy wants to talk to them then they want to hook up. I wish it was easier to chat with people without thinking about hooking up.0
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I'm sure glad I met the love of my life before the Internet.
Never went looking for her, we just crossed paths and fell in love. Now, your perfect mate could pass right in front of you, but you might miss them while looking down at your latest edition cell phone.
My advice? Go out and do those things you like to do. Look up. Look around. Those other people you are seeing may be there because they are doing those same things you like to do. Those are called "Common Interests".
Now you can make eye contact. You may get a smile. Step in the right direction.
Who knows? You might approach them. You can converse. Maybe that person will give you their cell phone number and you can send them some kind of cute emoji. You're on your way!!4 -
xFunctionalStrengthx wrote: »
Yeah, it's a little rough. I'm not a touchy feely person (not a hugger) and I can be a little formal, but that makes a hand shake the logical approach, right? Maybe they can tell I'm going to totally judge them based on that hand shake and withhold on purpose. 1 -
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TheRoadDog wrote: »I'm sure glad I met the love of my life before the Internet.
Never went looking for her, we just crossed paths and fell in love. Now, your perfect mate could pass right in front of you, but you might miss them while looking down at your latest edition cell phone.
My advice? Go out and do those things you like to do. Look up. Look around. Those other people you are seeing may be there because they are doing those same things you like to do. Those are called "Common Interests".
Now you can make eye contact. You may get a smile. Step in the right direction.
Who knows? You might approach them. You can converse. Maybe that person will give you their cell phone number and you can send them some kind of cute emoji. You're on your way!!
Well I’m old-school so I understand what you’re saying but it seems like a different world. I met my husband when I was 19. I work in a profession where basically everyone is married or hot guys in my line of work are players and I don’t want to get a reputation.
So in order for me to meet someone realistically I have to go online. Yes I can go to a bar and pick up someone. But I need something more meaningful than that. I’m glad you found the love of your life but I think times have really changed. And I’m not saying they’ve changed for the better.
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SabotageinStilettos wrote: »Honestly I’ve had my best luck on fitness apps.
Me too! Though not many local people on sites such as this one.0 -
Ready2befithealthy wrote: »TheRoadDog wrote: »I'm sure glad I met the love of my life before the Internet.
Never went looking for her, we just crossed paths and fell in love. Now, your perfect mate could pass right in front of you, but you might miss them while looking down at your latest edition cell phone.
My advice? Go out and do those things you like to do. Look up. Look around. Those other people you are seeing may be there because they are doing those same things you like to do. Those are called "Common Interests".
Now you can make eye contact. You may get a smile. Step in the right direction.
Who knows? You might approach them. You can converse. Maybe that person will give you their cell phone number and you can send them some kind of cute emoji. You're on your way!!
Well I’m old-school so I understand what you’re saying but it seems like a different world. I met my husband when I was 19. I work in a profession where basically everyone is married or hot guys in my line of work are players and I don’t want to get a reputation.
So in order for me to meet someone realistically I have to go online. Yes I can go to a bar and pick up someone. But I need something more meaningful than that. I’m glad you found the love of your life but I think times have really changed. And I’m not saying they’ve changed for the better.
Good Luck. My brother and 2 sisters all met their mates on line. Seems to have worked out.0 -
Ready2befithealthy wrote: »Alright I hope I get a glimmer of hope in this thread...
So I am recently single and I’m trying to get back into the dating world as a lot of you can relate. Seems like everyone just wants a hook up. Ugh! For you that are out there on dating sites is that your sole reason for being out there or are you looking for something more meaningful?
No judgement just curious.
Nope! I'm quite introvert and shy so not once have I ever had a "hook up" where I just threw some shirtless pics up on Tinder for a romp in the hay. I'm probably in the minority but I need a real honest connection with a woman before I can even really want to be intimate. There's no purpose in it for me if there's not a genuine connection.
To me sex is something IN ADDITION to not instead of. I literally have no drive to just bang everything I see. I'd rather just light up some candles, turn down the lights and put on some TLC. 2 -
projectbradley wrote: »Ready2befithealthy wrote: »Alright I hope I get a glimmer of hope in this thread...
So I am recently single and I’m trying to get back into the dating world as a lot of you can relate. Seems like everyone just wants a hook up. Ugh! For you that are out there on dating sites is that your sole reason for being out there or are you looking for something more meaningful?
No judgement just curious.
Nope! I'm quite introvert and shy so not once have I ever had a "hook up" where I just threw some shirtless pics up on Tinder for a romp in the hay. I'm probably in the minority but I need a real honest connection with a woman before I can even really want to be intimate. There's no purpose in it for me if there's not a genuine connection.
To me sex is something IN ADDITION to not instead of. I literally have no drive to just bang everything I see. I'd rather just light up some candles, turn down the lights and put on some TLC.
New phone who dis?1 -
I am not there to hook up, but then I don't use them much either as everyone else just wants to hook up.. On tinder I only like people who look like normal people (not all ab-shots and half naked stuff) and who has something meaningful in their bio
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Ready2befithealthy wrote: »TheRoadDog wrote: »I'm sure glad I met the love of my life before the Internet.
Never went looking for her, we just crossed paths and fell in love. Now, your perfect mate could pass right in front of you, but you might miss them while looking down at your latest edition cell phone.
My advice? Go out and do those things you like to do. Look up. Look around. Those other people you are seeing may be there because they are doing those same things you like to do. Those are called "Common Interests".
Now you can make eye contact. You may get a smile. Step in the right direction.
Who knows? You might approach them. You can converse. Maybe that person will give you their cell phone number and you can send them some kind of cute emoji. You're on your way!!
Well I’m old-school so I understand what you’re saying but it seems like a different world. I met my husband when I was 19. I work in a profession where basically everyone is married or hot guys in my line of work are players and I don’t want to get a reputation.
So in order for me to meet someone realistically I have to go online. Yes I can go to a bar and pick up someone. But I need something more meaningful than that. I’m glad you found the love of your life but I think times have really changed. And I’m not saying they’ve changed for the better.
I'm married...but, I've met some really interesting women going out and doing the things I enjoy doing. When I first started cycling I would do meetup.com to have other people to ride with...met a lot of people that way and a few ladies who gave me the, "of course you're married." Climbing gym as well.
If I were to ever become single again, that's probably where I'd put most of my energy because you just meet and converse and make a connection more naturally I think. Not that I wouldn't try on-line...but the idea of randomly taking a stranger on a date sounds a bit daunting...but I never did well with blind dates either.
ETA: I do have a lady friend who used dating sites after her divorce...it took awhile, but she finally connected with someone and they're getting married in about a year.1 -
caco_ethes wrote: »projectbradley wrote: »Ready2befithealthy wrote: »Alright I hope I get a glimmer of hope in this thread...
So I am recently single and I’m trying to get back into the dating world as a lot of you can relate. Seems like everyone just wants a hook up. Ugh! For you that are out there on dating sites is that your sole reason for being out there or are you looking for something more meaningful?
No judgement just curious.
Nope! I'm quite introvert and shy so not once have I ever had a "hook up" where I just threw some shirtless pics up on Tinder for a romp in the hay. I'm probably in the minority but I need a real honest connection with a woman before I can even really want to be intimate. There's no purpose in it for me if there's not a genuine connection.
To me sex is something IN ADDITION to not instead of. I literally have no drive to just bang everything I see. I'd rather just light up some candles, turn down the lights and put on some TLC.
New phone who dis?
If I'm honest I'm really not "ready" but when I am, I got TONS of love to give and from what I've seen on POF, I'm doing alright. My own place and not my mothers garage. Own a car. Can cause giggle snorts with my ridiculous humour. Have a great rewarding career in Higher Ed. I'm supppperrr affectionate and love snuggles. Not entirely awful to look at. Fit and healthy. Genuine and loyal. No really! There's like 19 of us left.
Oh and my tongue is absurdly large. Like Gene Simmons is jealous.
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