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Ready2befithealthy
Posts: 303 Member
in Chit-Chat
Alright I hope I get a glimmer of hope in this thread...
So I am recently single and I’m trying to get back into the dating world as a lot of you can relate. Seems like everyone just wants a hook up. Ugh! For you that are out there on dating sites is that your sole reason for being out there or are you looking for something more meaningful?
No judgement just curious.
So I am recently single and I’m trying to get back into the dating world as a lot of you can relate. Seems like everyone just wants a hook up. Ugh! For you that are out there on dating sites is that your sole reason for being out there or are you looking for something more meaningful?
No judgement just curious.
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Replies
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I'm in the same boat girl. I'm a mom, recently divorced and working full time and I don't have time for that kind of BS!!! I feel like all those sites are geared mostly that way unfortunately
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SparkyJess3 wrote: »I'm in the same boat girl. I'm a mom, recently divorced and working full time and I don't have time for that kind of BS!!! I feel like all those sites are geared mostly that way unfortunately
I got on a site and put *not looking for a hook up* met guys out (that didn’t live up to their height stated or their picture for that matter) and they are all the same old *kitten*. Just wanting in my pants. Man...guess single life might be the way I go. Yes I’m recently divorced too girl. Just need to lean on friendship and good wine go get through this.
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I met my husband online. It was a few years ago (I think like 6 at this point) and before tender type apps (I think anyways). I met him on Plenty of fish, is that even around anymore?
Anyways, even when I did it there was alot of stupid "hey baby, I can treat you like a princess" stupidity going on. You just have to wade through it. Ultimately, my opinion is you get out what you put in. It takes time and effort to find someone decent in real life and online. Expect to go through alot of profiles, talk for a bit online first, then try to meet in real life.1 -
4legsRbetterthan2 wrote: »I met my husband online. It was a few years ago (I think like 6 at this point) and before tender type apps (I think anyways). I met him on Plenty of fish, is that even around anymore?
Anyways, even when I did it there was alot of stupid "hey baby, I can treat you like a princess" stupidity going on. You just have to wade through it. Ultimately, my opinion is you get out what you put in. It takes time and effort to find someone decent in real life and online. Expect to go through alot of profiles, talk for a bit online first, then try to meet in real life.
Glad you had success. Gives me some hope. Guys see these amazing ladies are all looking or were looking for something more meaningful. Just saying...that’s what women typically want
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Ready2befithealthy wrote: »Alright I hope I get a glimmer of hope in this thread...
So I am recently single and I’m trying to get back into the dating world as a lot of you can relate. Seems like everyone just wants a hook up. Ugh! For you that are out there on dating sites is that your sole reason for being out there or are you looking for something more meaningful?
No judgement just curious.
I dropped all of my accounts on dating sites/apps a while back. Never found anyone that I liked, even though I met some nice women. Aside from one, we just didn't connect well enough to go beyond initial meeting. The one I did wind up dating for a couple of months, what a strange relationship that turned out to be...
As to just being just a hook-up site, I heard about it. But, never ran across women who were like that. But, then again, that wasn't why I was there. Was looking for a legitimate, possible long-term, relationship. I ran into more fake accounts, and people wanting to take advantage of me (not for sex, but free-rides).
Now, I'm happy being single. I know a lot of really nice women, some are really good friends now. But, have yet to meet one that really makes me not want to be single. If she ever crosses my path, then I'll happily see where it goes. Until then, I'm happy being me and doing my thing.5 -
xFunctionalStrengthx wrote: »Ready2befithealthy wrote: »Alright I hope I get a glimmer of hope in this thread...
So I am recently single and I’m trying to get back into the dating world as a lot of you can relate. Seems like everyone just wants a hook up. Ugh! For you that are out there on dating sites is that your sole reason for being out there or are you looking for something more meaningful?
No judgement just curious.
I dropped all of my accounts on dating sites/apps a while back. Never found anyone that I liked, even though I met some nice women. Aside from one, we just didn't connect well enough to go beyond initial meeting. The one I did wind up dating for a couple of months, what a strange relationship that turned out to be...
As to just being just a hook-up site, I heard about it. But, never ran across women who were like that. But, then again, that wasn't why I was there. Was looking for a legitimate, possible long-term, relationship. I ran into more fake accounts, and people wanting to take advantage of me (not for sex, but free-rides).
Now, I'm happy being single. I know a lot of really nice women, some are really good friends now. But, have yet to meet one that really makes me not want to be single. If she ever crosses my path, then I'll happily see where it goes. Until then, I'm happy being me and doing my thing.
Nice! Good to hear there’s good guys out there. Glad your happy with just being single right now. That’s cool. Man, I’d rather be single than with my ex so there’s that. Wishing you the best.
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My very limited experience with on line dating apps was opposite. Every guy that seemed nice enough to meet after a few messages were looking to be serious like instantly. Granted I was very selective in whom I would even message to start with and even more so with who i would decide to meet. So maybe it's all in being selective when reading their bios?
But I will say it seems men my age are one way or the other, looking to hook up or looking to get married tomorrow. No in between. That is the reason I stopped using them. Figure if there is a guy for me out there, it'll just happen.3 -
Ready2befithealthy wrote: »xFunctionalStrengthx wrote: »Ready2befithealthy wrote: »Alright I hope I get a glimmer of hope in this thread...
So I am recently single and I’m trying to get back into the dating world as a lot of you can relate. Seems like everyone just wants a hook up. Ugh! For you that are out there on dating sites is that your sole reason for being out there or are you looking for something more meaningful?
No judgement just curious.
I dropped all of my accounts on dating sites/apps a while back. Never found anyone that I liked, even though I met some nice women. Aside from one, we just didn't connect well enough to go beyond initial meeting. The one I did wind up dating for a couple of months, what a strange relationship that turned out to be...
As to just being just a hook-up site, I heard about it. But, never ran across women who were like that. But, then again, that wasn't why I was there. Was looking for a legitimate, possible long-term, relationship. I ran into more fake accounts, and people wanting to take advantage of me (not for sex, but free-rides).
Now, I'm happy being single. I know a lot of really nice women, some are really good friends now. But, have yet to meet one that really makes me not want to be single. If she ever crosses my path, then I'll happily see where it goes. Until then, I'm happy being me and doing my thing.
Nice! Good to hear there’s good guys out there. Glad your happy with just being single right now. That’s cool. Man, I’d rather be single than with my ex so there’s that. Wishing you the best.
Thanks. We're out there. Just seems we get overlooked by many because of various reasons. Which, is okay since there's so many facts to a person, it's hard to find the right one you're looking for.
Wish you the best as well.2 -
Ready2befithealthy wrote: »SparkyJess3 wrote: »I'm in the same boat girl. I'm a mom, recently divorced and working full time and I don't have time for that kind of BS!!! I feel like all those sites are geared mostly that way unfortunately
I got on a site and put *not looking for a hook up* met guys out (that didn’t live up to their height stated or their picture for that matter) and they are all the same old *kitten*. Just wanting in my pants. Man...guess single life might be the way I go. Yes I’m recently divorced too girl. Just need to lean on friendship and good wine go get through this.
Yep! Feel free to add me girl! We are in this together LOL1 -
FWIW...
I'm not on sites anymore, but at one point I had spent significant time on both FitnessSingles.com and Match.com (not sure if the prior even exists anymore). I was there for an actual relationship, not just a hookup.1 -
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I am on a few sites. My goal is to meet people, have fun and hope there is that connection that leads to a long-term thing. That said, that connection on both sides has been pretty rare!
I think I tend to get overlooked somewhat for my height (5'6"), even women 5'1" or so put in their profile looking for guys 5'10" plus, which I get if you are 5'8-5'9" but 5' to 5'4" seems a little much!1 -
I am on a few sites. My goal is to meet people, have fun and hope there is that connection that leads to a long-term thing. That said, that connection on both sides has been pretty rare!
I think I tend to get overlooked somewhat for my height (5'6"), even women 5'1" or so put in their profile looking for guys 5'10" plus, which I get if you are 5'8-5'9" but 5' to 5'4" seems a little much!
My experience was similar... it was like speed dating, but without the speed. The vast majority of my dates fell into the "nothing especially wrong/bad, but nothing especially good either" classification.1 -
I haven't found the interest in pure hook ups, but maybe that's due to my approach. I've been out with a few men that won't even shake my hand on the 3rd date.1
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I am on a few sites. My goal is to meet people, have fun and hope there is that connection that leads to a long-term thing. That said, that connection on both sides has been pretty rare!
I think I tend to get overlooked somewhat for my height (5'6"), even women 5'1" or so put in their profile looking for guys 5'10" plus, which I get if you are 5'8-5'9" but 5' to 5'4" seems a little much!
Hugs boo.
Maybe it's your mileage radius that stops them
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I met my husband on OkCupid 5 years ago. I found that a lot of the guys on there were just there looking for hookups. Like a few of you, I was a newly divorced mom and to some guys, that was a turn off. I even had one guy who asked me out last minute on a Wednesday night and when I declined because of work/kid responsibilities he said "Ugg you're such a mom."
I finally got to the point where I said I was not going to respond to anymore "hey girl" messages (one liners with no substance). Then along came this hottie who introduced himself in a one liner with no substance. He then sent another message a few minutes later and complimented my long hair. I almost blew him off but hey....he was hot....no shame in my game. 5 years and 3 kids later and I'd say it worked out for the best.
My advice - know your worth and don't settle for less. But also don't completely write someone off because their first message doesn't have a whole lot of substance.2 -
I haven't gotten on dating sites because of the thought that people are only going to want to hook up and I want to get to know someone. I want to meet people chat and learn about the person so that there could be a long term relationship whether as friends or more but, the stereotype is hook ups and many women think that if a guy wants to talk to them then they want to hook up. I wish it was easier to chat with people without thinking about hooking up.0
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I'm sure glad I met the love of my life before the Internet.
Never went looking for her, we just crossed paths and fell in love. Now, your perfect mate could pass right in front of you, but you might miss them while looking down at your latest edition cell phone.
My advice? Go out and do those things you like to do. Look up. Look around. Those other people you are seeing may be there because they are doing those same things you like to do. Those are called "Common Interests".
Now you can make eye contact. You may get a smile. Step in the right direction.
Who knows? You might approach them. You can converse. Maybe that person will give you their cell phone number and you can send them some kind of cute emoji. You're on your way!!4 -
xFunctionalStrengthx wrote: »
Yeah, it's a little rough. I'm not a touchy feely person (not a hugger) and I can be a little formal, but that makes a hand shake the logical approach, right? Maybe they can tell I'm going to totally judge them based on that hand shake and withhold on purpose. 1
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