Moderation or Deprivation? Which works for you personally?

sw33tie

I know the politically correct answer is "don't deprive yourself, yada, yada..."

I personally find that I am an all or nothing type of person. Meaning if I give myself an inch, I'll take a mile. Sweets are my weakness and I notice I thrive when I don't eat them. The moment I have one little treat, I develop this "screw it" attitude and devour everything in site!

Just curious how many of you are like me and can't eat certain foods in moderation?

Horsekeeper

I have found that it is much, much easier to not eat sweets (or other snacking) in the evening if I avoid sugar during the day. So, I'm with you!

Keri8680

I agree! I tend to do much better avoiding the temptations than if I tell myself “just one bite”. That “just one bite” turns into me obsessing about the food and focusing on how good it tastes. That is so much harder to control than the imagination of what it must taste like!

MichelleSilverleaf

Moderation works for me, I'd fail completely if I tried to deprive myself. That being said I've been able to say no to treats and such a lot more but that comes from sticking hard to my calorie allotment, and knowing I can usually have said treat another day. Or finding alternatives that I like. It's really individual though, you have to know what works for you. Some people deprive themselves because they think they have to, and then wonder why they eventually end up binging. But if it works for you all the more power to you, finding what works is so important.

Pastaprincess1978

Horsekeeper wrote: »

I have found that it is much, much easier to not eat sweets (or other snacking) in the evening if I avoid sugar during the day. So, I'm with you!

for sure - this is me 100%

musicfan68

Avoiding things works best for me. I don't buy chocolate, candy, or chips anymore. I used to eat a lot of sweets every day. I quit doing that and can go weeks without chocolate or sweets or chips. I could probably go forever without chips. If they aren't around, I don't miss them. If I can break that habit, I don't miss it. The only times I do eat chocolate or really sweet stuff is if I'm really tired - I don't have the willpower to say no if I'm really tired, then it just makes it worse. Luckily, I am able to sleep really well so it doesn't happen much.

1houndgal

Horsekeeper wrote: »

I have found that it is much, much easier to not eat sweets (or other snacking) in the evening if I avoid sugar during the day. So, I'm with you!

Moderation

mlm7281

Deprivation for sure. I’m doing IF now 19/5 and it works great for me (only on day 5 so far - part of my Holy Week sacrifice, but I hope I can stick to it because I just don’t think about food any more).

ceiswyn

Moderation; I can't stick to any diet that involves giving up chocolate.

But that moderation is within the single inflexible rule of 'don't go over your calories'. That one can't give an inch.

malibu927

Deprivation for me=eventual binges. Having a treat every night in moderation helps me out.

hroderick

i can't eat just 1

AnvilHead

Everything in moderation for me. I love chocolate, and can have a big bag of chocolate candy last 2-3 months in the cabinet - just having one or two pieces for dessert after dinner or with a snack or whatever.

concordancia

Moderation is a skill.

Some people come by it naturally, but anyone who struggles with excess weight can learn it through practice.

Buy single serving packages.
Bake the cookies, keep two and give away the rest before you take a single bite. Or put them in the freezer.
Have a slice of pizza with a salad.
Eat only pre planned food, but plan in the sweets.

I am sure a behavioral therapist would have more concrete steps to take, but the important thing is accepting that this is a skill and you can learn it!

The effort to learn this skill will pay off on other areas of your life, as well.

Orphia

All the people with ~1000+ posts have posted "moderation".

All the people with less than 10 posts have posted "deprivation".

+1 for moderation.

amusedmonkey

Moderation for me. It's a skill I had to learn because I don't live in a bubble, and it paid off by being able to eat most things.

tiptoethruthetulips

I don't see it as deprivation but as abstaining. I don't moderate well at all, I have an all or nothing mentality so generally abstain on trigger foods.

Neither one is better than the other, do what works for you.

https://gretchenrubin.com/2012/10/back-by-popular-demand-are-you-an-abstainer-or-a-moderator/

JaiNicole7

Deprivation.

I have to basically completely eliminate pasta and rice. It is extremely hard for me to keep it within my calories, have an appropriately sized portion, not go totally berzerk. Having recently found out that I'm borderline diabetic I don't feel too bad cutting them out except for special occasions and occasional cheats. I HAVE enjoyed them in moderation, but I almost feel like it isn't worth it.

I literally feel like Pookie in New Jack City-ashy lipped & cracked out, looking at the pasta pot like "it be calling me, man, it be calling me....& I just gotta GO TO IT." LOL. A work in progress for me.

babysaffy

Deprivation has never worked out for me in the past.

I'm loving moderation and the results I'm getting from it now.

I make it a point to have my small 95 calorie chocolate frog most days. I look forward to it and it stops me from feeling like I'm restricted.

I usually buy one at a time though, to avoid any temptation to overdo it.

Sparkeysworld

Both, at the start of the cut, I can have things in moderation, but the closer to the end I get, the more I have to stick to deprivation.
To the point I don't even have 'naughty' things in the house.
Breakfast cereals are the worst for me, one bowl and I might as well do the box.

amusedmonkey

Just to note that there are several ways to moderate, and for every food it can be different for me. It's not about having willpower in my case, it's about minimizing the need for using willpower wherever possible:

- Some things I reduced so slowly that I didn't notice my portions shrink.
- Some things shrunk in portion on their own because other things crowded them out.
- Some things I eat less often because fitting them in every day is more hassle than having them every day, but sometimes I really want to have them so I do.
- Some things I don't have in the house, but would need to walk to the shop to buy a single serving if I really want it.
- Some things I have in the house but have them stored in the most inconvenient to reach place so I wouldn't bother to get them unless I really want them.
- Some things I only eat occasionally by attaching them to an activity or an event.
- Some things I eat differently because I tend to overeat them in one form but don't in another.
- Some things I have a weekly threshold for, if I go over it I stop eating them till next week.
- Some things just don't feel like they are "worth the calories" as often as other foods, so although I technically didn't eliminate them, I haven't had them in a long while.

kommodevaran

The answer would be "don't deprive yourself, because...".

Cultivating the "all or nothing" mindset, and demonizing foods we love, makes those treats into irresistible gems, cravings into overpowering urges, anticipation soars, one little bite means failure, feeling of failure leads to "to hell with it". And you don't even get to appreciate the taste, because you think you shouldn't be eating it in the first place, so you eat more, to try to get the satisfaction you feel missing out on, and the satisfaction your brain promised you. At some point you start to really fear certain foods, and you start to doubt your own ability to control your intake, you eat the forbidden foods to calm yourself, but eating it makes you even more anxious; a self-fulfilling prophecy and a vicious circle.

An attitude where no food is forbidden, but that a rational management of available food resources is our personal responsibility, is a healthy attitude, in my opinion.

Our society is one of overabundance, and a culture that praises instant gratification, which means we are told that everybody should have anything they want, all the time, but this leads to impatience, dissatisfaction, greed, envy. When boundaries are mentioned, people often think of them as deprivation. It's not the same. We all need boundaries in order to function. We can't say yes to everything all the time. But we can't say no to everything all the time, either. A time for everything, is a good thing. This will be a bit different for each person. Some people have ice cream and/or chocolate every day. Some have it once a year. Both can be regarded as moderation.

sijomial

Moderation.
I can do short term deprivation to achieve a short term goal but for me that's a miserable experience I have to endure for a specific greater reward.

I wonder if most of the people choosing deprivation are meaning while losing weight or for the rest of their lives?
Personally I would hate to go shopping or go to a restaurant and think "I can't have that".

Enthusiast84

Moderation hands down for me. I would have lost no weight if I deprived myself from chocolate, crisps, biscuits and all the other food I love as I would have given up. I think that's why other diets have failed for me in the past as so many food were off limits.

ladyreva78

When I deprive, I binge.

So I'm slowly learning how to moderate. There's days I'm successful. There's days I'm not. I just log it all and move on with my life. Someday, moderation will be second nature and that when I know I'll have long term success at keeping the weight off.

paperpudding

Moderation.
-( another thousands plus poster on moderation team)

However, like amusedmonkey said, it isn't entirely a polarised deprivation vs moderation equation.

Some things I deprive myself of for period of time eg Lent or keep for weekend treats. Things like non-diet soda I have not banned but I drink very rarely because not worth the calories and easy alternative
I also practice some of the 'don't ban but make it harder' strategies mentioned - eg keeping chocolate on top shelf of pantry where I have to get step ladder to reach.

Lounmoun

I'm not an all or nothing sort so probably a bit of both with moderation mostly.
Moderation might mean buying the food rarely or in small quantities not just having piles of it in my face daily and using awesome willpower.
I have very little trouble with sweets. Just don't have a huge sweet tooth.
I have trouble with saltier stuff like cheese puffs or goldfish crackers. I can moderate some salty foods but not others as well. Wasabi peas are great. A block of cheese is fine. Pickles are fine. Bread is usually okay. Chips are borderline. Saltine crackers are better not started. Goldfish crackers are very difficult. Cheese puffs are... well, I still wouldn't trust myself with a large container of them.

tinkerbellang83

All or nothing is what caused me to yo-yo for so many years and never truly lose weight. So all for moderation, sometimes I fail to moderate but those instances are far less frequent than they used to be.

amusedmonkey

tinkerbellang83 wrote: »

All or nothing is what caused me to yo-yo for so many years and never truly lose weight. So all for moderation, sometimes I fail to moderate but those instances are far less frequent than they used to be.

I think this is important to understand. Moderating doesn't mean being perfect all the time. Sometimes we overeat some things and that's okay. It sure is much better than the huge and more frequent backslides or the temptation to completely blow it or even quit when breaching a bright line. It's less damaging to my diet and to my mental health when I don't get sucked into a guilt cycle created by rigid rules and complete abstinence.

sw33tie

Keri8680 wrote: »

I agree! I tend to do much better avoiding the temptations than if I tell myself “just one bite”. That “just one bite” turns into me obsessing about the food and focusing on how good it tastes. That is so much harder to control than the imagination of what it must taste like!

Exactly how I feel! I don't really miss it when I'm not having it, but once I taste it. I remember how much I love it! Ughhh

sw33tie

kommodevaran wrote: »

The answer would be "don't deprive yourself, because...".

Cultivating the "all or nothing" mindset, and demonizing foods we love, makes those treats into irresistible gems, cravings into overpowering urges, anticipation soars, one little bite means failure, feeling of failure leads to "to hell with it". And you don't even get to appreciate the taste, because you think you shouldn't be eating it in the first place, so you eat more, to try to get the satisfaction you feel missing out on, and the satisfaction your brain promised you. At some point you start to really fear certain foods, and you start to doubt your own ability to control your intake, you eat the forbidden foods to calm yourself, but eating it makes you even more anxious; a self-fulfilling prophecy and a vicious circle.

An attitude where no food is forbidden, but that a rational management of available food resources is our personal responsibility, is a healthy attitude, in my opinion.

Our society is one of overabundance, and a culture that praises instant gratification, which means we are told that everybody should have anything they want, all the time, but this leads to impatience, dissatisfaction, greed, envy. When boundaries are mentioned, people often think of them as deprivation. It's not the same. We all need boundaries in order to function. We can't say yes to everything all the time. But we can't say no to everything all the time, either. A time for everything, is a good thing. This will be a bit different for each person. Some people have ice cream and/or chocolate every day. Some have it once a year. Both can be regarded as moderation.

Very insightful! I'm still new to this, trying to practice moderation on the things I love most.

sw33tie

JaiNicole7 wrote: »

Deprivation.

I have to basically completely eliminate pasta and rice. It is extremely hard for me to keep it within my calories, have an appropriately sized portion, not go totally berzerk. Having recently found out that I'm borderline diabetic I don't feel too bad cutting them out except for special occasions and occasional cheats. I HAVE enjoyed them in moderation, but I almost feel like it isn't worth it.

I literally feel like Pookie in New Jack City-ashy lipped & cracked out, looking at the pasta pot like "it be calling me, man, it be calling me....& I just gotta GO TO IT." LOL. A work in progress for me.

Hahahaha