Guys - how long would you wait to message a girl after the first date?

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2

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  • ISweat4This
    ISweat4This Posts: 653 Member
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    When you get home, thank you I had a great time, etc.
  • Bullet_with_Butterfly_Wings
    Bullet_with_Butterfly_Wings Posts: 5,545 Member
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    I have zero idea. I have never been interested in any of the guys I've been out with the next day or any day after that... Im not easily amused it seems.
  • RoxieDawn
    RoxieDawn Posts: 15,488 Member
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    I don't see the big deal in either side sending a text especially if there is a real connection. Texts can be just casual communication that doesn't have to contain a lot of emotion or leading. If you don't hear from him in a few days text or call him, if there is lack of the same enthusiasm then you would know.

    I think some of this is based on how well did you know him before the date. Did you guys talk at all before the date or was this the very first time besides arranging the date, etc.

    Anyways I am fairly confident that a text soon after a first date does not identify a person as needy. Being needy would need a series of texts and calls and behaviors to be identified as such.
  • BishopWankapin
    BishopWankapin Posts: 276 Member
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    4 to 6 weeks unless she's a Prime member in which case I guarantee 2-day messaging. *nods*
  • go_cubs
    go_cubs Posts: 1,183 Member
    edited April 2018
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    From a woman’s POV if a dude takes more then 24 hours to message after a date I think he’s not interested


    But the again i need attention and reassurance from the person I’m “seeing”
    But everyone is different
  • michael1976_ca
    michael1976_ca Posts: 3,488 Member
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    i think it depends on the two people. if they both agree i don't see why you need to wait.
  • caloriecountingdiary
    caloriecountingdiary Posts: 12 Member
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    Well I would usually expect a guy to say let me know you got home safe or whatever but he said he had a really nice time and I think we actually did! The conversation was good etc.

    But yeah, no message for 24 hours after the date which is why I messaged to kinda test the water. The response gave nothing away though! So I’ve not replied as it didn’t really carry on any conversation. We’ll see what happens. I’d rather just date one person than be talking to loads and I don’t want to waste days worrying.
  • 123tacos
    123tacos Posts: 661 Member
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    I think it would be silly to wait. Even if i wasnt into him i would text thanks for the date or good time. Not sure why games would need to be played. That would be a huge red flag/turn off
  • Deadman_Diggingup
    Deadman_Diggingup Posts: 3,082 Member
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    spanish_liza wrote: »
    From a woman’s POV if a dude takes more then 24 hours to message after a date I think he’s not interested


    But the again i need attention and reassurance from the person I’m “seeing”
    But everyone is different

    I would tend to agree with this opinion.
  • jjpptt2
    jjpptt2 Posts: 5,650 Member
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    OP - how old are you? How old is the guy?

    Society in general seems to be much more instantaneous than it used to be (heck, most of my dating life was before cell phones)... I don't think more regular/frequent communication is necessarily a bad thing if that's what you want/need. If nothing else, it'll help filter out the guys that aren't good fits for you... which is a good thing. I also think society is much less "traditional" than it used to be (i.e. girls have to wait for the guys to call, plan dates, etc).

    If you're interested, say so. His response should be pretty telling, then you know where you stand with him.
  • Deadman_Diggingup
    Deadman_Diggingup Posts: 3,082 Member
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    I am certainly no expert as I’ve only really been on a couple dates in my life but I think, why wait? If I had enjoyed myself, I would want her to know before saying goodnight... “I have enjoyed spending time with you, and I would very much like to do it again soon. May I contact you this week to make plans?”... It doesn’t really seem that complicated.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
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    I am glad I met my wife before messaging was possible. I might have missed the proper protocol and lost out.

    I've still never messaged her. However, I massaged her before our first date. I was her Massage Therapist.
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,426 Member
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    Why are people afraid to say I like you and would like to see you again when they are not teenagers? Is it phones these days or dating total strangers?

    With my dh we worked together before seeing each other and were exchanging actual e-mails pretty regularly for about a month before getting involved so no hiding who we were really. By the time we actually had a "date" we were really comfortable already communicating but never called each other much. We are not really phone people.
  • Time2LoseTheWait
    Time2LoseTheWait Posts: 154 Member
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    I’d message her once I’ve gotten home from the first date simply saying .. (name) I had a great time tonight and I’d love to do it again sometime.

    Telling her what I think while not asking for any kind of commitment or forced response. If she responds in kind then great. If not, that’s okay too. We gave it a shot .. it didn’t work out and now we’ll move on. No worries
  • joemac1988
    joemac1988 Posts: 1,021 Member
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    Wait? If there's some sorta rules to this, I'm out.
  • cee134
    cee134 Posts: 33,711 Member
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    According to every movie I've seen from the 90's it should 3 days. I don't know why.
  • caloriecountingdiary
    caloriecountingdiary Posts: 12 Member
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    I’m 28 for the person who asked!

    It seems like eveyone is different then judging by the responses. I personally tend to just be upfront if I like someone but I have been guilty of struggling to be the same if I don’t like someone.

    I haven’t heard anything from him since this morning so I don’t have high hopes. We were messaging about 3x a day before the date so I guess this is a no go
  • princess7955
    princess7955 Posts: 1,277 Member
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    caloriecountingdiary wrote: »
    I’m 28 for the person who asked!

    It seems like eveyone is different then judging by the responses. I personally tend to just be upfront if I like someone but I have been guilty of struggling to be the same if I don’t like someone.

    I haven’t heard anything from him since this morning so I don’t have high hopes. We were messaging about 3x a day before the date so I guess this is a no go

    Did you really like him? If so - girl, take out your phone and message him. Wouldn't you rather know if he had a good time too, than assume the worst?
    He might be sitting at home thinking the same thing you are. Maybe he's text his friends asking how long he should be waiting to message you!


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