Women, would you take this offensively?

NavyKnightAh13

Recently I had one of the high school guys at the Y help me with a 45lb plate because i couldn't get off (he had used it before me and the dude had to lower it down because i am short) and he apologized to me. Honestly take it with a grain of salt because eventually, the guys will respect you. If you need help, ask, but the guy could use to work on his social skills a little bit.

Also ETA: don't be afraid of the weight room. I was for a while and now I can walk in and smile. Sometimes I am still a little nervous walking in, but I don't let them see it. Besides one day I know that i will be able to lift more :happy:

GiddyupTim

Ignore him, please. Don't let an incident like that discourage you from doing what you need to do.
We are all not as strong as we would like to be, and we all start from a different place. Not a big deal.

Power_Man77

It was nice of him to help you but his social skills are lacking, to say the least.

this

Escape_Artist

What's wrong with what the guy said?

deksgrl

I wouldn't have been offended. I may even have asked for help if I tried once and couldn't do it. It is one thing to be able to lift a certain amount while doing a proper lift. It is a completely different thing to try to lift a certain weight moving plates around, you can injure yourself.

Byrdsong1920

Hey,

Some folks are just socially awkward or don't know how to communicate without lookin ....soundin like a dork! Or a smart az! Lol! He could've kept the star commentary to himself, but I think all in all he was being helpful. I would find a workout partner, or like so on suggested, get a couple of sessions with a trainer to show you how to use the machines.

There was a great forum on here about guys thinking its hot seeing a girl hit the weights. I must agree, it is hot to see us going hard on weighs and riding a motorcycle....lol! Check it out: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/940799-sexiest-thing-in-the-gym

Don't be discouraged, keep going! It's all about balance and being well rounded in the gym----in your workouts!! U got this!

Have fun...put on ur headphones and rock ur fav music!

Shan

jaina08

not EVERYTHING is about men vs. women. I work out and i do the weights. as a matter of fact, when i asked the female instructor to show me how to use the free weights she kept trying to convince me that "it's too much for you". i finally just did it on my own. I take off plates when I can, and if i know that I can't, i ask for help - there is no shame in that. I can't lift the 40 kg plates because I am not strong enough yet - NOT because I am a weak woman. trust me - there are plenty of males in the world who can't lift 4 kilo, let alone FORTY.

PEOPLE (not specifically men or women) in the weight rooms will leave you alone for the most part. if you ask for help they will usually help. if you ask for help on a specific move or they will show you how it's done.

You just reminded me. There was this mid 30 year old woman who went up to me last time I went to the weight room and said, "I think I should help you." While I was lifting heavy with squats doing my own thing and I felt like I was doing it correctly, actually I WAS doing it correctly. And then I responded to her by saying, "Why?" She said "because I think you need help." She was a thin I guess pretty fit girl but too skinny in my opinion. The way she talked to me sounded as if she knew what she was talking about and as if she was better than me. I was pretty annoyed and pissed actually when she told me that because I knew what I was doing and I don't really like it when other people try to act like they are better than me. She ended up helping me out and I wasted 30 min of my life learning this weird exercises that she taught me without even making me sweat. I was soo pissed.

crista_b

I think it was nice of him to help, but his comments qualified him as a jerk. Why can't men show women the respect they deserve?

Yeah, I think he was just trying to help out but came across in a rude way. Maybe he wasn't intending to be rude though, and just lacks understanding of social norms?

IronmanPanda

Sounds like he was just trying to help. I guess he could have just stood there and watched you struggle with it for another hour.

randomtai

Meh... It wouldn't of bothered me. I probably would have been there for 30 minutes fumbling with the thing. :laugh:

k8blujay2

I probably wouldn't even register the tone... at least not for a while. Though when I went to the weight room last week there were a couple a people there that were looking at me and snickering (at least that's how it looked to me)... but you know what, I'm not there for them... I'm there for me... so I plug in my earphones and do what I can do.

Frankii_x

In all honesty he didn't handle it well BUT you clearly admit you were struggling.

Don't take offence if someone is offering to help you with something you're struggling with. Alternatively if you did think you could cope tell him so and show that you're strong.

I've had one man who tried to 'help' me in the weights area and I laughed it off and said "no thanks if I needed help it'd be from someone stronger than me" and smiled and it was a joke thing where he realised he'd offended me and it never happened again

Edited for spelling.

randomtai

not EVERYTHING is about men vs. women. I work out and i do the weights. as a matter of fact, when i asked the female instructor to show me how to use the free weights she kept trying to convince me that "it's too much for you". i finally just did it on my own. I take off plates when I can, and if i know that I can't, i ask for help - there is no shame in that. I can't lift the 40 kg plates because I am not strong enough yet - NOT because I am a weak woman. trust me - there are plenty of males in the world who can't lift 4 kilo, let alone FORTY.

PEOPLE (not specifically men or women) in the weight rooms will leave you alone for the most part. if you ask for help they will usually help. if you ask for help on a specific move or they will show you how it's done.

You just reminded me. There was this mid 30 year old woman who went up to me last time I went to the weight room and said, "I think I should help you." While I was lifting heavy with squats doing my own thing and I felt like I was doing it correctly, actually I WAS doing it correctly. And then I responded to her by saying, "Why?" She said "because I think you need help." She was a thin I guess pretty fit girl but too skinny in my opinion. The way she talked to me sounded as if she knew what she was talking about and as if she was better than me. I was pretty annoyed and pissed actually when she told me that because I knew what I was doing and I don't really like it when other people try to act like they are better than me. She ended up helping me out and I wasted 30 min of my life learning this weird exercises that she taught me without even making me sweat. I was soo pissed.

You need a backbone. :flowerforyou:

lindustum

not EVERYTHING is about men vs. women.

This. I don't see why I am asked by the OP this question (as a woman) any more than the guys around here are.
I am often blunt and offend people (male and female) and have to think twice before saying things because I just perceive my wording differently.

As for the topic: Just get over with it and forget it. I would be taken aback too, but there was nothing inherently evil about his behaviour. Sure if he does it again, you can say something but other than that- just keep going!

amccoy04

I probably would have taken offense. Maybe if he suggested a different weight for you to start off with would of been a nicer way for him to help with the situation. I do have the same problem about the weight room especially if I'm by myself, sometimes exercising with a partner helps me not to be so self conscious.

TyTy76

I think it was nice of him to help, but his comments qualified him as a jerk. Why can't men show women the respect they deserve?

Is this why you created a thread wanting to see all the girls in their bikinis?

deksgrl

not EVERYTHING is about men vs. women. I work out and i do the weights. as a matter of fact, when i asked the female instructor to show me how to use the free weights she kept trying to convince me that "it's too much for you". i finally just did it on my own. I take off plates when I can, and if i know that I can't, i ask for help - there is no shame in that. I can't lift the 40 kg plates because I am not strong enough yet - NOT because I am a weak woman. trust me - there are plenty of males in the world who can't lift 4 kilo, let alone FORTY.

PEOPLE (not specifically men or women) in the weight rooms will leave you alone for the most part. if you ask for help they will usually help. if you ask for help on a specific move or they will show you how it's done.

You just reminded me. There was this mid 30 year old woman who went up to me last time I went to the weight room and said, "I think I should help you." While I was lifting heavy with squats doing my own thing and I felt like I was doing it correctly, actually I WAS doing it correctly. And then I responded to her by saying, "Why?" She said "because I think you need help." She was a thin I guess pretty fit girl but too skinny in my opinion. The way she talked to me sounded as if she knew what she was talking about and as if she was better than me. I was pretty annoyed and pissed actually when she told me that because I knew what I was doing and I don't really like it when other people try to act like they are better than me. She ended up helping me out and I wasted 30 min of my life learning this weird exercises that she taught me without even making me sweat. I was soo pissed.

Repeat after me: "No thank you."

_noob_

I've helped a small woman get loaded 45's off a squat bar before. She also needed help resetting the bar to proper height.

I asked politely, and yes if that's verbatim on what was said than that was impolite.

JenniBaby85

I do all my heavy weight lifting with my 200+lb dumbbell set at home .

However, had I been in that situation, I probably would have just said "Thank you" and let him do it.

SoDamnHungry

It would have been nice if he'd asked if you wanted help. The way he said it makes it seem like he simply couldn't stand your female incompetence anymore. I woulda been really annoyed had he said it so rudely.

Edit: Typo