Kindness Matters

sgm1168

While counting calories matters to most of us on a fitness journey, counting moments of kindness directed our way matters even more. One word of kindness is far more powerful in achieving fitness than 1200 calories. This group is for anyone that needs support but most importantly, simply needs the power of a kind word.

amgreenwell

I couldn't agree more. I read somewhere that any time you feel like saying something nice/kind to someone you should. It might be the one thing that helps get them through their day. And it could be the only nice/kind thing anyone says to them that day or week or month. You never know how your words can touch someone's heart.

sgm1168

Exactly! And many of us (though not all) have not always been treated with kindness. It affects our view of ourselves and our desire to be fit and healthy. I think one of the goals more important than weight is consistency. Kindness has to do with why we are not consistent. If we can zoom in on those moments and help each other, maybe we will pull this off long-term?

kam26001

Agreed.

sgm1168

I like that!

sgm1168

There is a school of though that argues--when we start to think about how we can use or fitness to help others, we will finally achieve not only our physical fitness goals but our fitness totally--body, mind, and "spirit." I think that's the value of this community section of MFP--maybe?

corinasue1143

@sgm1168 I think you are a sweetheart for starting this thread!

Enthusiast84

Great thead. Being kind to oneself is also so important! I've learnt a lot about self compassion over the last year which has done wonders for me.

dsboohead

I so agree that kindness goes a long way for all of us.
There are "those" mfp contributors that believe that brutal honesty is their job. Kindness and cruelty do not go hand in hand.

sgm1168

dsboohead--so true.

sgm1168

Enthusiast84--That's so great--I'd love your advice on this given your experience.

sgm1168

corinasue--so sweet of you to say that but I think we landed here together because we all share the same values

DifferentView

Great thread!

sgm1168

Today was a good day because of your kind words. Thank you.

jenilla1

californiagirl2012

That is right. Everyone fights a battle you know nothing about, be kind. I love that quote.

Enthusiast84

sgm1168 wrote: »

Enthusiast84--That's so great--I'd love your advice on this given your experience.

There are some really good ted talks on self compassion on youtube which are really inspiring and pinterest has some really good quotes on self compassion.

I think we can say things to ourselves which are so hurtful and comments that we would never say to another human being. Self compassion is being a good friend to yourself and being kind to yourself. For me having daily positive affirmations has really helped me to give myself a break, remember all the good I'm doing etc. I had no idea that self compassion existed until I was going through a period where I was being so overly critical of myself and in the bottom of my heart i knew it wasnt justified and it was a constant mental struggle where the negativity was cosuming my mind. Finally I thought enough is enough! That's when I discovered it and it's been a revelation.

Hamsibian

I always try to go by this motto, but didn't realize how impactful it was until a while back when someone did it to me. I was feeling down and burnt out with life in general, and It was showing at work (cashier at a food co-op). Helped a sweet elderly lady, and smiled while we were talking. She told me I had the most beautiful smile. It made me feel so much better, and I definitely smiled more that day!

So I definitely encourage paying it forward with kindness!

dsboohead

Hamsibian wrote: »

I always try to go by this motto, but didn't realize how impactful it was until a while back when someone did it to me. I was feeling down and burnt out with life in general, and It was showing at work (cashier at a food co-op). Helped a sweet elderly lady, and smiled while we were talking. She told me I had the most beautiful smile. It made me feel so much better, and I definitely smiled more that day!

So I definitely encourage paying it forward with kindness!

I remember right before I had started on a serious road to health and weight loss......went to 99 cent store and did not especially feel good about myself. I did go to the store, did makeup and hair and put on a decent outfit.
Out of the blue..a woman stopped me and said as she looked in my eyes "you look so pretty" and she walked away.
At that moment I realized that a period of kidness from a stranger made me think....Are there angels for a single moment of clarity and kindness? Because I certainly needed one at that very moment. We are put in places to share the gifts we all carry.

sgm1168

Enthusiast84: I love your description of "self-compassion." I'm impressed that you have been able to overcome this--so many of us are highly critical of ourselves. Do you think we do this to ourselves initially? Do you think we are built like this? Or do you think we absorb a lot of negative comments accumulated over the years that are thrown our way? TedTalk is such a smart channel on YouTube--I'm going to look at this there per your advice. Thanks, I'm so glad I asked you about this!

sgm1168

California girl--so true--no matter what we have or don't have we are all human beings and have our share of human problems.

sgm1168

An idea to consider: Yesterday night I set up a team (of 1 at that point) to walk for a local charity at the end of this month. I thought good exercise and at the same time helping out a good cause. Then I found myself texting some friends/family to see if they wanted to join me. Today I find myself emailing some friends to see if they can donate a $10 gift certificate from their workplace for prizes. I've spent a lot of time today doing this and it shifted the focus from me, me, me, and my fitness to helping others through fitness. If any of you decide to try something out like this, let the group know--I think this is just as important as swapping recipes (although I like that too!).

brendajean316

Yes, it does. You don't have to tear someone else down in order to lift yourself up. We are all allowed to get to the top together.

eleonora1809

I downloaded this app in hope for meeting supportive people with the same goal as mine. But after a few discussions thread I made, I’m extremely heartbroken & disappointed by people’s reaction.

None of them gave me an actual support, instead a bunch of eyerollers & trolls, they seems unhappy with their life and saw me as an easy prey to make fun of.
Extremely disappointed.

sgm1168

elenora--Oh my goodness, that is so terrible! Stay in this space with us and we will help each other! you are among friends here--please please share with us anything mind! I think those of us in this group share the same values and fitness goals and that has been a great fit for me! You will find lots of great people to add as friends, I promise!

HappyKat5

I love this thread! Today, I did something I always do...if someone is close to me when I enter a place (store or restaurant) I always hold the door. This afternoon, the littlest old lady was behind me, and I kept the door open. She took FOREVER! I know it was probably just seconds, but when you have to pick your child up at the bus stop, it seemed like hours! She was so cute and when she got inside, she just smiled. No words. That IS kindness. Just a look. I went my way and she went hers, but, I felt so good after that..sometimes, we shouldn't always expect a Thank You for what we do to be kind..just a look.

dsboohead

Eleonora....I am so sorry for those bad apples...there are good ones

dsboohead

HappyKat5 wrote: »

I love this thread! Today, I did something I always do...if someone is close to me when I enter a place (store or restaurant) I always hold the door. This afternoon, the littlest old lady was behind me, and I kept the door open. She took FOREVER! I know it was probably just seconds, but when you have to pick your child up at the bus stop, it seemed like hours! She was so cute and when she got inside, she just smiled. No words. That IS kindness. Just a look. I went my way and she went hers, but, I felt so good after that..sometimes, we shouldn't always expect a Thank You for what we do to be kind..just a look.

One look can say a thousand words.......especially if its from mom!

DifferentView

HappyKat5

dsboohead wrote: »

HappyKat5 wrote: »

I love this thread! Today, I did something I always do...if someone is close to me when I enter a place (store or restaurant) I always hold the door. This afternoon, the littlest old lady was behind me, and I kept the door open. She took FOREVER! I know it was probably just seconds, but when you have to pick your child up at the bus stop, it seemed like hours! She was so cute and when she got inside, she just smiled. No words. That IS kindness. Just a look. I went my way and she went hers, but, I felt so good after that..sometimes, we shouldn't always expect a Thank You for what we do to be kind..just a look.

One look can say a thousand words.......especially if its from mom!

Ha ha and so true. My mom had a mean mom look that she reserved for places we had to be quiet, like in church. I now have one too, as a mom. I didnt even know the power until it happened one day, I was thinking, “Man, that’s powerful”

eleonora1809

I love this discussion thread. I don’t share my weight loss plan to my friends or family members because they always look down on me and make me feel unmotivated. But here, I can hide & focus.
To me, weight loss is not just about fitness & calories. My mental health is #1. I’m a former ED and some things are triggering. But after seeing a ton of success stories here, it makes me don’t want to give up to have a better health & lifestyle.

I hope I can give some support to those who need it.