How do I breakup with my sons ex?
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gettingfit65 wrote: »Any advice on how to kindly tell her I don’t think we should be chatting, texting, etc? I just don’t feel comfortable. It’s been 10 years since they were together but he has someone in his life now and I don’t want to feel like I’m betraying them.
Are you actually betraying anyone? Do you pass confidential information about one to the other? Otherwise I would think you can continue to be friends in your own right, unrelated to being friends based on their past history.0 -
Block her number. Delete her from your contacts . Unfriend her. Unfollow her. She'll get the message.
It's pointless trying to ascertain whether she still habours a "secret love" for your son.
You're in a pickle. Considering the ex from whence they were 17 & her feelings VS your son's adult choice and her feelings. This mess is of your own creation. Deal with it. Make a choice. Your son has clearly done so.1 -
How many Facebook friends are acquaintances? Heck, how many MFP friends are any more than comrades at arms?2
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gettingfit65 wrote: »Thx everyone. He hasn’t had a serious girlfriend until this last year. He is aware because he knows we are friends on fbk, messenger etc. She broke it off with him when they were like 17. Crushed him. She wanted to try again after they were in their 20’s and he would have none of it. I told her you have to move on. She’s getting married in a month but it’s like she doesn’t want to let our family go even tho they are now 29. She FaceTimed me the other night.
Why have you stayed in contact with her after she crushed your son when she was 17? You decided to keep talking to her. You can't complain that she doesn't want to let your family go if you have participated in maintaing contact for this long.
If you don't consider her a friend and want to drop contact then you should probably apologize for being fake to her for years and wish her well in her life. Then unfriend her and stop talking to her and about her.3 -
gettingfit65 wrote: »Thx everyone. He hasn’t had a serious girlfriend until this last year. He is aware because he knows we are friends on fbk, messenger etc. She broke it off with him when they were like 17. Crushed him. She wanted to try again after they were in their 20’s and he would have none of it. I told her you have to move on. She’s getting married in a month but it’s like she doesn’t want to let our family go even tho they are now 29. She FaceTimed me the other night.
Why have you stayed in contact with her after she crushed your son when she was 17? You decided to keep talking to her. You can't complain that she doesn't want to let your family go if you have participated in maintaing contact for this long.
If you don't consider her a friend and want to drop contact then you should probably apologize for being fake to her for years and wish her well in her life. Then unfriend her and stop talking to her and about her.
I agree with lounmoun. That is a long time to be in touch with someone if you don't consider them a friend.
In the future I think the best thing is to say "I just feel it's best if we don't keep in touch" along with a reason or no reason at all. My ex husband and I divorced after 9 years of marriage. I never really liked his parents and they lived 14 hours away so I had only seen them like 5 times anyway. About a year after our divorce, his mom sent me a friend request on fb (she had just joined). I sent her a pm saying I wished her well but out of respect to my new relationship I just didn't think we needed to keep in touch. Honestly though...my boyfriend from when I was 20-22, I LOVED his mom dearly and when we see each other out & about we always hug and talk a little. She never mentions her son to me and I don't ask. If somehow or another we were around each other often (let's say we worked together), I could see us being friends as two adults. Situations vary.1 -
I took this completely wrong when I first read it lol0
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I have four children, three of whom are in relationships that started in high school... both friendships and romantic relationships... never have I been so close to one of their friends/boyfriends/girlfriends that I would maintain that contact after they parted ways.
This seems... weird? To me??3 -
SmurfBunny3 wrote: »I have four children, three of whom are in relationships that started in high school... both friendships and romantic relationships... never have I been so close to one of their friends/boyfriends/girlfriends that I would maintain that contact after they parted ways.
This seems... weird? To me??
I don't know...I have a lot of friends whose children are anywhere from 14-25 and on social media, and it varies so much the level of contact these moms have with their kids' friends and boyfriends/girlfriends. Some of them are so closely connected at all times that I find it startling or surprising. Others have little to no contact or consciously choose NOT to "friend" the younger generation (aside from their own child typically but sometimes not even then). It really seems to run the gamut.
I suppose it's like anything else. My mom knows all of her neighbors and many details of their lives, she's always in their business. I can only name ONE of my neighbors, and I've lived in the same house for several years.0
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