I am tired of family members telling me to stop losing weight

motivatedmartha

HoneyBadger155 wrote: »

Perhaps stop sharing that you are on a diet with people who aren't going to be supportive? Many friends, family, and coworkers are NOT going to be supportive of you getting healthy. If your doctor agrees with losing a few more pounds, just go with it. Don't share WHY you're choosing the foods you are, don't make comments about "I can't have that" - just say you're full and leave it at that.

I've had friends berate me for wanting to lose 5 pounds (back when I was closer to my ideal weight), and guess what - ALL of them were overweight! I've never had a fit, trim friend/coworker/family member make a comment like that!

Find support in places like these forums, the gym, or social media groups focused around what you are doing/enjoy doing in regards to diet and fitness. THAT'S where you'll get good motivation - not from the fat family members who know they SHOULD be doing what you're doing - but don't want to. You have to realize, by making better choices, you are making them feel guilty for theirs? Don't rub their noses in it, and don't expect them to be supportive - get that support in better places, and don't share with your family what or why you are doing it. Chances are, if you don't say anything about what you 'can't do/have/eat' or share about all of your time in the gym, they'll probably stop caring/noticing.

And if they don't, just say you're working with your doctor closely and trust their advice.

Exactly! You don't have to justify your food choices to anyone other than yourself - no-one else needs to know you are watching your calorie intake. I find telling people just gives them licence to comment, or they try and help you out with the 'one more little bit of ooey gooey thing won't hurt, I won't tell ha-ha' etc. I prefer to keep stum on the diet and wait for the compliments on how trim I am beginning to look. If I do get those I just say 'Thank you' and move on - I never mention the word diet.

CarvedTones

Tell them "This is what healthy looks like." and hope they infer what you are implying...

PokeyBug

Grimmerick wrote: »

I find asking questions is a good way to divert and put attention back where it belongs. Maybe something like

Q:"Why do you think it's your place to talk to me about this, when my doctor is happy with where I am?"
A: We love you and just want you to be healthy, you look too skinny.

Your response: My doctor is very happy with where I am at and is monitoring me, Meanwhile I am glad you brought this up because I have been wanting to talk to you about being so overweight, it's very unhealthy and just like you're there for me, I am gonna be there for you, reminding you and encouraging you whenever I see you to lose weight because I love you and I am concerned, it's very unhealthy.

Then if they do bring it up again..........well you know what to do.

I really like this advice. I'm going to second trying this.

tomorrowperfume

What *kitten* family members.

I definitely think this phenomena depends on the weight of the person you're talking to as to what they see as normal. For example, my BMI is 22 right now, which is a healthy weight. I want to lose about 5-10 pounds, putting my BMI down between 20 and 21.

My overweight friends always tell me that I don't need to lose weight. "You look great. Guys don't like girls who are too skinny, y'know."

My mom, who is a recovering anorexic and who sits at the very bottom of the normal weight range, purses her lips when she looks at my thighs and says, "I wish you and your brother would worry about your health more."

Body dysmporphia is a real thing and takes many forms.

OhMsDiva

My two cents. I used to get the you do not need to lose any more weight or you are so skinny now comment. It is never from a negative place. What I have learned that is that I hear and I don't hear people's comments. Nobody motivated me to lose weight but myself and no one is going to motivate me to stop losing weight if I do not want to.
What used to bother me is on occasion my mom would see me in various states of undress and she would exclaim WOW look how much weight you have lost. I know she meant no harm, but I am still getting used to dealing with my new body. Now I just say thank you. Back to the topic at hand. When people tell me I have gotten so skinny I just laugh. I am nowhere skinny under any stretch of the imagination. I could lose 100 more lbs and not be skinny. However, compared to when I was 200 lbs bigger I may appear skinny.
If the person that keeps commenting is coming from a negative space then you could just ignore them or tell them that you heard them the first time they made the comment and that they do not need to keep repeating it.
Some people like to get under other's skin. If you ignore them then you take away their power. Enjoy your success and do not let anyone stop you.

TroyWebber

I remember when a morbidly obese, diabetic family member told me that I looked terrible.They told me that I needed to stop, even though I was only 20 pounds into my eventual 65# weight loss .I knew I was on the right track. When I ended up hitting my goal, I got so sick of hearing comments that I lied and said that I had gained back 20 #.All of these jealous haters were so thrilled when I told them that.They never made another snide remark to me.
Try telling your commenters that you failed at your diet and gained 10 pounds back. They will be thrilled and won’t even notice when you lose 10 more pounds.