how do you really succeed at this?

amgreenwell

Agree with so many other posters. If you want it bad enough you just buckle down and do it. You resist temptation and you make yourself the priority.
There are no tips and tricks, there is only eating at a deficit and making your calorie goal each day. If you want to tone up or exercise then more power to you...and the more you get to eat.
I'm over 40, have two kids under 2 and I'm making myself the priority right now. I want to be around a long time for my kids and be the healthy example in their lives. This is not something I'll compromise on.
Accept that attitude and you can make it happen. I hope you can find some happiness in your life though.

quiksylver296

chandraminick wrote: »

I know there's more to it than that. Who do I look to learn how to train? I'm in rural Idaho, and there's a Golds gym, but I don't see a following for anything close to body building for women, and I've always thought that what the way to get it. Maybe, I'm wrong, and under the wrong impression.

Blackfoot isn't that rural.

Eat at a slight calorie deficit.

Lift heavy (for you) weight.

Put on your patient pants and your consistent shirt.

Styggian

serindipte wrote: »

Eat fewer calories than you burn. - Weight loss
Lift heavy things. - Muscle preservation.
Eat plenty of protein. - Muscle preservation and satiety.
Eat ample fats. - Satiety and health.

After you're nearer to your goal weight, look into body recomp for the actual muscle build.

You aren't going to build significant muscle while eating in a deficit.

All good advice above me, serindipte given great bullet point summary.

chandraminick

OK, everyone. I went back to all these things suggested here. I am also eating back all of my exercise calories as well as planning my meals in advance. I'm logging all my food and exercise not exceeding my calorie goal.

graysmom2005

consistency

iowalinda

chandraminick wrote: »

OK, everyone. I went back to all these things suggested here. I am also eating back all of my exercise calories as well as planning my meals in advance. I'm logging all my food and exercise not exceeding my calorie goal.

I don't eat back my exercise calories. I know many eat back some, but most do not eat back all of their exercise calories. If you find that you are not losing, eating back all the exercise calories could be the reason, as it's easy to over calculate calorie expenditure.

mk2fit

@chandraminick I am rural, live on a farm. I am probably older than you, doesn't matter. I lost 70ish pounds doing the CICO thing. It is not as bad as it seems. Walk a couple of miles every day. There are tons of exercise videos on youtube - surely you can find some you will actually do. You may find you like running or swimming or the elliptical or some other machine.
Find your passion. Log your food. Learn how to cook "Skinny" and eat what you love in moderation.
Oh, I have been on maintenance for about three years. You can do this!

VUA21

I'm 42, female, mom. I've lost nearly 200lbs.

Eat fewer calories than you use. Don't "diet", just eat smarter to develop habits that you can keep for the rest of your life. Incorporate exercises that you enjoy, even if it's just dancing in your kitchen while making dinner.

That's it. It takes a lot of patience, there will be good days and bad, just keep going.

AnvilHead

VUA21 wrote: »

I'm 42, female, mom. I've lost nearly 200lbs.

Eat fewer calories than you use. Don't "diet", just eat smarter to develop habits that you can keep for the rest of your life. Incorporate exercises that you enjoy, even if it's just dancing in your kitchen while making dinner.

That's it. It takes a lot of patience, there will be good days and bad, just keep going.

^ Good answer.

elisa123gal

As we get older, we actually believe our excuse that our body is broken. Like we are stuck being overweight for some reason; age, thyroid, pcos, slow metabolism...you name it..

In the end, they're all excuses. You can lose weight and get fit at any age. i'm almost at goal, and i feel i have lost at the same pace as many years ago. It just took me sticking with a plan, working it honestly,and measuring the outcomes..(not hiding from the scale).

The first step to success to taking responsibility for where you're at ..and accepting that you got yourself there...and only "you" can get yourself out and to where your want to be.

Only you can do this!

kdbulger

Start small. For example:

First step - go for walks 3x a week
Second step - start logging the walks on MFP
Third step - since you're already on MFP, log what you have eaten
Fourth step - do that for everything you eat
Fifth step - start aiming for calorie deficit.
Sixth step - start upping your exercise intensity.
etc.

This can happen over weeks - just start small so you don't overwhelm yourself, then do that small step consistently. When you feel like you've got it, add another step or increase the intensity.

Just be consistent, and don't take on so much at once that you can't stay consistent.

That is how I went from walker to runner and losing almost 40 lbs so far. I'm in no hurry. I just take it in small increments.

EllieTheLondoner

Too much to elaborate on in one post, because every one word answer listed above involves a huge underlying shift in how you go about your life!

You got to build habits and develop a longer-term approach - these changes are forever, kind of mentality.

Focus less on the exercise element and more on the food element if weight loss is your goal - I always say if I only have an hour a day to achieve my weight loss goals, that time is better spent in the kitchen than in the gym (not saying don't exercise, but people get the two things conflated when they are very different).

You need to consistently be able to plan a calorie deficit for weight loss, but in a way that is sustainable over a long period of time. 1lb a week would be a great result, but then you're talking a year, so settle in for the long-haul. I plan a strategy a week at a time, any further ahead would de-motivate me (admittedly I'm usually just tweaking last week's strategy at the most).

For me, I plan the ** out of things. Sounds time-consuming, but after a little practice I know what my food and exercise for the coming week look like in less than an hour, and I know the levers I got to pull to achieve them each day. You got to find and prioritise a way that works for you.

I spend a lot of time in the kitchen, very little time eating out, and have taken years to cultivate a lifestyle where I can finally make weight loss happen - and it's still crazy frustratingly slow! I just turned it into my religion, gotta have faith! And a few commandments (for example 'thou shalt not drink all the wine on weekdays', 'thou shalt not eat more than 1200kcals on weekdays', etc!)

Snowflake1968

I have often asked the same question, even when I am actually losing. I started MFP in February only tracked what I ate for the first couple weeks, the good, the bad and the ugly. Then decided to really pay attention and try to get to only 1200 daily. This was tough without exercising to get some calories earned. I didn't start doing any real exercising of any kind until the end of April though.

I started really getting involved in some of the message boards on here and have found that the success and challenges others have and how they have dealt with the slips have helped me tremendously. I felt that I was losing so slowly, but I did a 10 Day challenge that made me realize I had lost 3 pounds in 10 days, when I looked at that I realized it wasn't as bad as I thought. I have lost 12 pounds so far.

I truly believe everyone has to find what will work for them and learn to be patient, the loss won't happen in a week or two, but over time, with consistency, a change does occur.

SalinitySally

I’m 61. My 62 year old sister (a little chubby but not too bad) died suddenly of cardiac arrest in December, followed a few weeks later by my 70ish, skinny-but-sedentary aunt. I had a come-to-Jesus moment and DECIDED I needed to get healthier. It’s been 11 weeks. I DECIDED on a calorie limit and have stuck to it. I exercise but eat no more than half my exercise calories back, IF I’m hungry. If I’m in a temptation situation, I remind myself that I DECIDED to give my body a fresh start and that I know already what cheesecake or french fries taste like and until I DECIDE I’m able to eat a little of that again within my calorie budget, I can live without them. Viewing my daily life through the lens of “yes, I DECIDED” has made all the difference. I anticipated having days when I exceeded my budgeted calories, but I haven’t had any yet. Daily I remind myself that two women I adored aren’t around to decide how to live, but *I* am.

And today I’m down 25 pounds. I’ve decided to keep eating less and moving more, in memory of those two women and in respect for myself. #CICO

emmies_123

I had looked at exercise before but never committed because the workouts were either too hard for a beginner, or because they said I needed things to even do it and I wasn't willing to commit expense to it. I never joined a gym because I was too anxious about others judging me.

The workout trainer that got me to actually start moving was Jessica Smith TV. She has a lot of workouts posted on youtube, or you can look for her specific site and go to "Exercise Videos". I started with her 30 min beginner full body at the beginning of April, and since starting I have actually been eager to research other routines and do more each day. I NEVER thought I would be the kind of person who was excited about exercise of any kind, yet here I am.

You got this. Focus on small steps and try to do something/anything each day. As you perfect one healthy habit (watching portion sizes, changing your diet, activity every day), continue and add a step (watch portion & what you eat, watch food & exercise levels, etc). When life happens and you miss a step one day, wake up the next morning knowing that yesterday is behind you and today is full of potential

wendhall

I appreciate the post, I am 49 and have PCOS with 50+ pounds to lose. I ask the same questions, how do I do this once and for all. Through the years I have lost weight and kept it off a few months but it has never been permanent. I am older now and it is more difficult, the health problems add up and I have a lot of degenerative joint/arthritis problems. I have returned to school and work full time too. There is so much conflicting information out there too, enjoyed the post.

tararaboomdeeah

Im 42. I have put on 8 kilos over the last year and had convinced myself that it was due to hormones. It was not! I have been exercising 5/6 days a week for the last 2 months and cutting back on calorie intake and can see a big difference already. More importantly, I feel way better about myself. I actually think I had become depressed from inactivity and generally feeling crap about the way I looked.
As regards exercise, I personally think the best way to get really defined is to mix cardio with strength training. I got seriously ripped about 5 years ago by using my fitness pal to track my calorie intake and doing a mix of running and pilates 6 days a week. The results were incredible after about 9 months.
Have let things slip over the last few years but now I'm back to a mix of pilates and spinning and Im starting to get places. You have to do it slowly though. And just keep going!

chandraminick

Update: I've been logging all my meals and walking everyday for the past five weeks, and I've shed 15 pounds and improved on walking one mile a day to as many as four - five a day a few times a week and then a mile or so the remaining days. Started logging at 1600 to loose a pound a week, and I was eating way too much and too often for my calorie energy needs, so I cut back on those calories, and stopped eating back all my exercise calories. I feel better.

mamasara2

I'm almost 41, in perimenopause, and have around 40lbs yet to lose. I'm down about 12lbs in the past few months. I have regular battles with that little voice in my head that says I should be losing weight faster.

Like so many posters before me have said- it's all about calories in and calories burned. It sounds too simplistic but it's true. It just takes time. That's the hardest part for me- patience.

You can do this! Just concentrate on logging what you eat for now and do your best to stay within the recommended intake and you'll start seeing results.

Even if it's little by little- it's still happening.

LiftHeavyThings27105

chandraminick wrote: »

If you are female and in your mid 40s, at least 50 lbs overweight, have something hormonal going on like PCOS, and you really want to get it together and be a real success story before 50 with great muscle and a slim body, how do you really get it done? I'm tired of being unhappy and disappointed in the body I'm in. As pathetic as it may sound, I know yhat achieving this is the only real thing in my life that is going to make me happy. I'd like to hear from someone who really knows what it takes to get it done.

I think that everyone is essentially saying the same thing: consistency and persistence. In other words, take your *kitten* to the gym "every day' and show up EVERY DAY.

On a more concrete plan, consider this:

1. create "medium" goals....but create several mini-goals along the path to the medium goal.
2. create "end goal".....but create several medium goals along the path to the end goal
3. create a plan for what happens once you reach your end goal.
4. re-read #3

Celebrate all of the mini-goals. Make the rewards - generally speaking - non-food related.

Find a pre-cooked training program. There are lots and lots. Strong Curves is a great one. It has a 'work out at home with no weights' part....

Get your nutrition together. Consider meal prep (where you cook a lot of food, on Sunday for example, and have everything just sitting in the fridge, waiting for you.

I am 51. I am in pretty dang good shape. I have been that way for the last six year. I was pretty fat at one point (during that last three years of the marriage and during the divorce). Anyway, I changed that. It did not happen overnight. It took a year. Your mileage may vary.

Some said this: the process is simple, but not easy. SO VERY TRUE. Keep that in mind....it will be very useful.