Tired Of Starting Over

MzNiki91

How do people get the motivation to stick to it 1ce & for all? I hate being the 1 to post "starting over again, gave up last time, but this time im stickn to it!" The same tune diff day

elisa123gal

i just did some reading on motivation...and the consensus is it does come and go. you will fail if you expect to be motivated the entire time. lower your exceptions to know that you will not always be motivated..but you will have the discipline to stick with your plan. When you push through and stay on course.. you get stronger and you won't give in.

Keep on trying and trust yourself that you can do it!

VUA21

Years ago someone told me something that suck. If you're tried of starting over, why do you keep quitting? I ask you the same question.

Now, by that time I had become an expert on every diet that doesn't work. I had to figure out that it really is as simple as calories in vs calories out. (And to be realistic with my goals).

My AH-HA moment was when I finally got sick and tired, of being sick and tired. I got fed up with getting winded walking up a single flight of stairs, of my feet hurting when I had to stand longer than 20 minutes. I just got tired of it, and changed my habits one at a time. I refused to quit because I didn't like what I had become. It was hard, some days I cried, I wanted to quit a lot, but I wouldn't let myself.

TyFit1908

I'm tired too. I feel like I keep trying everything, but maybe I'm just setting myself up to fail but trying to do too much too fast

dhiammarath

If your goal is a road trip, motivation is the energy of getting up early when the dawn barely breaches the horizon to pile into the car. It's feeling like a superhero setting out to conquer the day. It's the excited chatter as you pour over the map and decide the way you're going to, the sights you're going to see.

Motivation gets you started, but it doesn't carry you forward. It doesn't slog through massive traffic jams that slow your progress until you feel like a fly on sticky paper. It doesn't make you feel awesome when you see walkers pacing you because you're stuck in Fleet Week traffic and you chose the wrong path.

What does keep you forward is the goal, the desire to do what you want to do and the dedication to stay in the car despite the traffic. Maybe you don't move very far but turn back to the map. Look at the glossy images of where you want to be to keep the desperation at bay.

Motivation is finite. Will is finite. What keeps you going is wanting the end result more than hating the current pitfalls.

Consistency, determination, and habit will get you forward. Motivation comes and goes. It rushes in when you get through the traffic snarls of your road trip. It buoys you up when you reach a milestone. Yay! You did that incredible thing! You feel good! It's awesome!

But be prepared for when the adrenaline rush is gone and you're back to the daily grind. Habit, determination, consistency, and focus can move you forward.

Keep at it. Change happens -- sometimes small, sometimes large. Have patience, log diligently, and stuff will happen.

kommodevaran

I start over every day, not waiting for motivation. But I have a plan I can and want to stick to, that helps.

tinkerbellang83

I got out of that mentality by making sustainable changes one at a time and making them habits, that way they no longer consciously require as much effort, and certainly don't require the daily motivation that goes hand in hand with big drastic changes.

88olds

Yup, motivation is fleeting.

Consider this, what is the “it” you’re trying to stick to? If you make your food diary your “it” things might be better.

Calculate a modest calorie deficit, get a food scale and start a food diary. Always log everything, even if you go over your number. Even if you go over by a lot. Don’t know how many calories in that meal? Make a good faith estimate. Perfect is the enemy of the good.

But from now on the process is more important than the numbers. Going over your number is not a reason to abandon the process. If you find your plan not working well at some point, problem solve and adjust. Weight loss requires repeated problem solving and adjusting. Give yourself a break. There’s a learning curve. Don’t quit just because you make a mistake.

Last- calorie counting can be a pain at first. Give it time, it gets easier. And give your program time to work. You have to find a way to eat in a deficit that you can actually live with. A plan you don’t stick to is just a bad plan, make a better one.

MzNiki91

Thank you guys so much for the ideas to think on & take into consideration..I honestly never thought thay Motivation is fleeting..i just wanted it to be constant & always there..i am tired of being tired & coming up with excuses to quit & to start again..I will continue to utilize what this site offer & the food diary that was mentioned a few times..thank you

Spliner1969

MzNiki91 wrote: »

How do people get the motivation to stick to it 1ce & for all? I hate being the 1 to post "starting over again, gave up last time, but this time im stickn to it!" The same tune diff day

Although it does take motivation, you can help yourself by thinking of this not as a diet but as a new way of life. Eating crap foods whenever we wanted with little or no exercise is usually what got most of us here in the first place. You shouldn't diet just so you can look and feel the way you want then go back to the way you were before. You'll end up back here every time.

Instead, don't be too restrictive. Set your goals moderately, and ease into things. Instead of setting yourself at 2lb/wk loss rate, set it at 1lb/week. Adopt an exercise routine that will help you to gain more calories to eat and still lose the weight. You might even start off with little exercise, then work your way up to more, and by the time you hit maintenance, you might back off a little on the exercise, but keep it up consistently to help you to maintain your calories and your weight.

For instance, I started at 2lb/week loss. It sucked, I did it for about 14 months to lose the weight I wanted. It was too restrictive and I exercised too much, even managed to injure myself along the way. So after I healed from the injuries I dialed back the weight loss to 1lb/week and reduced my exercise from 6-7 days a week to 5. Once I hit my goal, I slowly, over a period of three months, moved up to what I had calculated my exercise calories to be. During that time I kept my exercise routine the same. Once I was at maintenance levels for three months I adjusted my exercise routine to 4 days a week and reduced my calories a bit to compensate for that lost day. I've been here ever since. There may be a week or so each month I will do 5 days a week if I feel like it, and when I do I'll reward myself with extra calories, but for the most part I stick with 4 days a week now and maintenance calories and have maintained for 2+ years with the exception of gaining weight I intended to gain (building muscle). So make a plan, don't be too restrictive at first, keep your eyes on the prize, but realize that there really is no end, there is a difference you can expect eventually in the amount you eat and the amount you exercise but it's not going to be the same you were before you started.

Just my .02

VUA21

TyFit1908 wrote: »

I'm tired too. I feel like I keep trying everything, but maybe I'm just setting myself up to fail but trying to do too much too fast

@TyFit1908

Start at maintenance. Adjust your eating habits to just maintain for a month. The analogy of a road trip is great, if you find yourself heading down the wrong street: the first thing you have to do is STOP, before you turn around. The first thing to do if you keep gain, is to stop - hence eating at maintenance. Do that for a month, everyday just try to eat right below your maintenance calories. Next month, adjust settings to lose 1/2 lbs/week. Then either tweek your eating habits again, increase your movement (exercise) or preferably a combination of both. Repeat every month until you find yourself at an impass of being too much, then go back to a more comfortable pace.

This way does take longer, but it's a lot easier to stick to as you slowly adjust and adapt to new habits. Changing your entire lifestyle is hard, changing one thing is easy. Small changes add up. It took me 2 years to drop the weight. Then I maintained for about a year, now I'm back losing another 20lbs. I don't worry about how long it will take me, I really don't. I know that if it takes me a year to drop 20lbs, that's still a 20lb drop.

cheryldumais

The most important thing that helped me was to set reasonable goals. Stop trying to lose it all at once. It took me 2 years but I made it. You can do it too. Find what works for you that you can live with for the rest of your life. Take your time. Good luck.

Go_Deskercise

While it's tempting to jump in with both feet and try to lose as much weight as fast as possible; slow and steady wins this race. Try adding in little changes every now and then for you to get use to in your daily life.

Snowflake1968

This is my third time around saying "I'll start now". This time I am not trying for a 2lb loss per week, I have incorporated some different exercises in, I'm not killing myself this time. So far I am down 11 pounds, it is taking longer but I feel I'll be able to keep it up for the long haul and make permanent changes so that there isn't an "I'll start now" 2 years down the road. I truly believe weighing and logging regularly will truly keep me on track this time.

Gabbie361

I stopped telling myself that I needed to loose 30/40 lbs I started saying okay just loose 5lbs and when I did I would get happy and be like hey I can do this again. I do. I allow myself to cheat and I try not to feel guilty about it. I don't plan my cheat meals eaither I tell myself this is my new way of eating and sometimes I'll go to my cousins birthday party or graduation and I'll eat a piece of cake or cookies and enjoy it but next day back at it.

shnell25

Just remember you’re doing this for you and you are worth it.

Try making small changes first. Set small goals and gradually increase them.

Learn to prepare your favorite foods in a healthier version.

Small changes bring about big results and changes. You can do it!!

kimny72

Pick a plan that's easier to stick with.
Figure out why you keep quitting and try to eliminate what makes it so tough for you.
So many people try to completely overhaul everything, but you don't have to be perfect to lose weight OR be healthy. Pick one or two baby steps, and just do that until it becomes a habit - a habit you will continue to do for the rest of your life, not just to lose weight. Then pick another baby step.
And when things get tough or you screw up, don't quit, just learn, tweak, and keep going. :drinker:

girlwithcurls2

I didn't even get on the scale until I had my jeans falling off me. I was motivated by keeping track of my calories (I cook every night, so putting recipes into the recipe builder took a little time, but it was such good information). I wore a fitbit at the beginning of my new lifestyle so that I could see if I needed to move more by the end of the day-and I usually did. I wouldn't describe the process as "fun," but I just kept learning about my activity level, what i enjoyed doing when I needed more activity, which foods gave me more caloric bang for my buck... It's been four years and yes, I'm back to logging faithfully due to 10 pounds that crept back on, but five of the are gone already because I know what I need to do and I'm not in a hurry.

So in those four years, I can plan my dinners around 14 pages of recipes in my recipe builder (makes logging so easy), I found ways to be active consistently because I chose things that I enjoy doing, I learned to swim, and now I'm stronger and fitter at 50 than I have been my entire life. One thing I try to remember is that whatever workout I'm doing is "what I do." So driving to the pool after work is "what I do," not negotiable. Not optional. Just what I do. It takes the wishy-washy part out of it. I just go. And then I swim or do a class. And I get my workout in. Sometimes it's easy to go, other times, I have to rely on my new routine. But it IS routine now. I expect it of myself. My family knows I go. It's what I do

hipari

Asking this question helped me: what exactly are you starting? You already eat daily and use the internet and move daily (at least between the holy triangle of bed-fridge-bathroom)., so you aren’t really starting any of those, you are just changing how you do them. Those changes can be small and you can do them a little bit at a time.

My current streak is 82 days, which obviously is very small compared to the long-timers here, but I’ll try to help anyways. I had already got into a decent workout routine before starting logging (again). For the first two weeks, I literally just had a goal of logging every day, without really considering what I ate or how many calories there were. It was just about getting into the logging routine. Then, I gradually started to pay more attention to eating habits, starting with what I eat every day. Now, I’m working on my mentality, so I can be more mindful of what and how much I actually want to eat and can still make good choices on special occasions.

ETA: like I said, it’s been an 82-day streak since starting again. Usually I would have quit by now, exactly because I took in too much too soon. The gradual easing into it has really helped me.

Momepro

Instead of "starting over" Start logging. Not just what you eat, but why, and how you feel before, right after and an hour after.After several days, this will give you a baseline of your uniwue lifestyle habits. Then go back and figure out one or two places where you can identify a particular bad eating habit and make a plan to change that. Not your whole lifestyle, not your entire diet, just one or two (at most) habits or behaviors you can experiment with.
Once those have been altered comfortably into your life, so that they are real habits, find one or two more things to work on.
This does a couple of things. First it helps you focus on and identify the real behaviors that cause you to gain, and change them into positive ones. Second it keeps you out of the all or nothing approach that is the most common issue behind failure. And finally, if you are only changing a few habits and behaviors st a time, then when you slack off, it won't destroy the entire thing. You will likely only fall back into one or two old habits, which can be easily identified and fixed again.
It is MUCH easier to fix "I can eat a half gallon of ice cream before bed" than it is to fix "I screwed up again, nothing works, I am a failure at dieting, I give up."