How to survive family dinners/ functions?

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Replies

  • gothchiq
    gothchiq Posts: 4,590 Member
    I have what I call my "in-law technique." Load up on salad and low cal dressing, which you may have to bring yourself if you aren't sure others will provide it. Take dinky portions of other stuff. Drink water or unsweet tea. Then, when they press you to have dessert, splay your hand on your belly, puff your cheeks out and say "I'm SO full! I couldn't possibly! I would explode!" Then, if even that doesn't work and they keep on bugging you, pretend to relent, take a piece "for later" and then give that piece to someone else at home or just throw it away once you've left the gathering. They will never know.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    We have social functions most weekends with either friends or family. I don't know that any of these functions have a bunch of food that is inherently unhealthy...this time of year it's usually a cookout...burgers, steaks, chicken, and whatnot...things like potato salad, corn on the cob, baked beans, etc as side items.

    These functions are also generally accompanied by copious amounts of beer which is where the real calorie hit comes in...but I do a lot of cycling on weekends and I will typically have a small brunch as my only meal other than what is served at the function.
  • gothchiq
    gothchiq Posts: 4,590 Member
    By the way, I am Italian and Southern. Luckily my inlaws are *just* Southern, so my techniques are good enough to fool them. XD But yes, there are families where they watch what you take, how much, how much of it you actually eat, and they feel free to comment and push you. Personally I think this sort of thing is egregiously rude, but it still happens. If I were headed for something like this I would suddenly "get sick" with something horribly contagious at the last minute. Luckily I think the guilt tripping/food pushing family cultures are dying out over time, at least in the USA.
  • 777Gemma888
    777Gemma888 Posts: 9,578 Member
    * Bank calories beforehand
    * Pre-plan your eats ( family gatherings are rather predictable. You can pre-determine how many burgers or hot dogs or roast beef slices or potatoes etc you're likely to eat over a specific period of time during the function.
    * Focus on foods which are primarily water with low sugar and bitter foods(watch the salt) -Helps you avoid the why aren't you eating questions.
    * Eat slowly.
    * Don't situate yourself near talkative people, most especially if you aren't much of a prattler. Knee-jerk is usually to eat more whilst listening to them talk. If you're talking more, you're eating less.
    * Zero in on a toddler child relative who needs to be fed. He/she will keep you busy, to the point where you're going to forget to eat. And when children are in your arms, people tend to leave you alone if you're eating less than everyone else. A fussy eater is a God send.

    **At extended family gatherings, I'm usually a raw vegan, otherwise there will literally be too many dishes, pastries and desserts to sample, as EVERYONE is a chef. Takes the guesswork out for relatives & friends. That way, I can choose to eat before or after the event.
  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
    Preach!

    My Italian American mom split with my "normal" dad and he married a Southern woman. So I have 2 insane families.

    I have seen my family get into a major fight if the table ran out of rolls and someone didn't get the new batch out of the oven fast enough. Oh and if an empty plate is seen the conversation is halted for a commercial break informing the owner of the empty plate of each and every single dish still available. "Phillip there are more mashed potatoes over here. There are green beans near Aunt Margaret, still plenty of meat in the middle, and the rolls... MARY WHERE ARE THE ROLLS!?!"

  • Cbean08
    Cbean08 Posts: 1,092 Member
    You can always learn the art of "plate drawing." Leave extra food on your plate and become engaged in something else - conversation/ activity. Then it looks like you're still eating and people won't be piling more food on your plate. Every so often, move the food around with a fork into a different design. When the meal is over, just dump the leftovers in the trash.

    Or, if there is a dog around, feed the leftovers to the dog.
  • MrSouthSide
    MrSouthSide Posts: 12 Member

    Oh man. Some families are definitely not like this, but will watch like hawks and try to shove food down your throat and maybe even CRY if you aren't enjoying what they brought/cooked.

    Especially large Southern families, Italian American families, and more...

    Let's face it. For a lot of families, Food=Love.
  • IGbnat24
    IGbnat24 Posts: 520 Member
    edited May 2018
    I always bring a side dish that is on the healthier side so I can snack on it guilt free. There’s also usually fruit at warm-weather get togethers (and if not, bring a watermelon!) so that’s safe to load up on without worry. That said, I typically let go of my normal eating habits at family get togethers a because A.) One day will not ruin your progress and B.) Every family has that one person who makes THE BEST main/side/dessert/whatever and it should be enjoyed since it’s not always available. Skip bread/chips and dip/store bought junk and instead fill up one plate with a little bit of the special homemade stuff and enjoy!
  • psychod787
    psychod787 Posts: 4,099 Member
    Bring your own healthy items

    Yep....
  • mkculs
    mkculs Posts: 316 Member
    Caring or not caring about comments others make is 100% under your control. Once I realized I didn’t have to care or even respond, I quit noticing those comments. And then they stop. It takes time and practice to become truly at ease with your decision not to care, your decision to ignore questions or comments you don’t care about, and your decision to respond by changing the subject—but doing it will give you practice in handling any situation (related to food or your weight, or not) for the rest of your life. It’s practice in appropriate assertiveness, something most women need to learn. Good luck.
  • Maxxitt
    Maxxitt Posts: 1,281 Member
    I usually plan on eating at maintenance on those family get-together days, and if there is restaurant dining involved, I usually eat two meals on those days (i.e., breakfast consists of coffee).
  • Almina
    Almina Posts: 13 Member
    I am relatively new to this and I have also discovered that the constant pain that I have had due to arthritis has been decreased considerably by avoiding grains.
    Makes keeping my calories up where they should be a bit difficult but when someone comments on how little I eat, telling them that there just are things I can't eat if I want to avoid the pain works very well and avoids a lot of explanation.
    Feel free to use this the next time someone comments on what you are eating.
  • zdyb23456
    zdyb23456 Posts: 1,706 Member
    I tend to overeat at parties. I tried eating something beforehand and that always backfires, I don’t end up eating less at the party. At least it doesn’t seem like it.

    I try to focus on the good stuff, stuff worth the splurge to me and skip the stuff that’s not worth it. Interesting, homemade stuff that I wouldn’t normally eat.