How to survive family dinners/ functions?

Options
2

Replies

  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 27,906 Member
    Options
    Family parties are a LOT of work for me - there's extra shopping, cooking, cleaning. I log calories for cooking and cleaning that's above everyday time for that.

    I'm throwing the party Sunday, so am in charge of the menu, and will be putting in a lot of work for it.

    All I'm doing for the party Saturday is showing up, but I've been very active this week so have extra calories for it. At my family parties, there are always low calorie, high volume options but if there weren't I'd bring a veggie tray or green salad.

    At buffets, I always get really small portions, so I can try lots of things and not get stuck with a large amount of something that turns out to be unpalatable.

    Yes, these events are more frequent during the summer, but not so frequent that the inherent difficulty in logging accurately is going to make a difference. My NEAT is also up in the summer, so that helps.
  • emmamcgarity
    emmamcgarity Posts: 1,594 Member
    Options
    I try to bring a fruit and/or veggie tray to events. If bringing desserts I make the portion sizes tiny fir everyone. At the last picnic I attended there were lots of comments about the cute “brownie bites” that I had cut into 3/4 inch squares. I know I ate over my regular calories but I had extra servings of fruit and veggies and tiny servings of other items. I also logged it all in with the best estimates I could find.
  • xxzenabxx
    xxzenabxx Posts: 935 Member
    Options
    Family gatherings are the hardest for me. Especially because it’s mainly curry and oily based dishes LOADED with calories and tonnes of rice, tonnes of 6 different desserts...one tiny salad. Nope it’s always a disaster for me. And if you don’t go for seconds then it’s a crime! And it’s not like this once a year. Nope it’s every week or every few weeks. Especially in the summer. No wonder I dread meeting family members now as they make comments on how ‘skinny’ I am (compared to them I’m very skinny apparently) with how much I eat. ‘What’s the secret?’ they ask whilst stuffing their faces...
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
    Options
    Nobody really pays attention to what/how much people are eating at my family's get togethers. I've never had a "why are you starving yourself" comment.
  • hesn92
    hesn92 Posts: 5,967 Member
    edited May 2018
    Options
    Eat smaller portions. Pay attention to your hunger and stop eating when you’re full. If there aren’t any healthy / low cal options, bring something yourself, a fruit platter or veggie tray to munch on. ( or whatever)
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,742 Member
    Options
    jemhh wrote: »
    Nobody really pays attention to what/how much people are eating at my family's get togethers. I've never had a "why are you starving yourself" comment.

    Oh man. Some families are definitely not like this, but will watch like hawks and try to shove food down your throat and maybe even CRY if you aren't enjoying what they brought/cooked.

    Especially large Southern families, Italian American families, and more...



  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
    Options
    seltzermint555 wrote: »

    Oh man. Some families are definitely not like this, but will watch like hawks and try to shove food down your throat and maybe even CRY if you aren't enjoying what they brought/cooked.

    Especially large Southern families, Italian American families, and more...

    QFT

    Italians who live in the south... DOUBLE WHAMMY

  • mbaker566
    mbaker566 Posts: 11,233 Member
    Options
    i bank some calories.
    i eat smaller portions of the "good" stuff
    i eat lots of low calorie veggies and fruit
  • gothchiq
    gothchiq Posts: 4,598 Member
    Options
    I have what I call my "in-law technique." Load up on salad and low cal dressing, which you may have to bring yourself if you aren't sure others will provide it. Take dinky portions of other stuff. Drink water or unsweet tea. Then, when they press you to have dessert, splay your hand on your belly, puff your cheeks out and say "I'm SO full! I couldn't possibly! I would explode!" Then, if even that doesn't work and they keep on bugging you, pretend to relent, take a piece "for later" and then give that piece to someone else at home or just throw it away once you've left the gathering. They will never know.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,874 Member
    Options
    We have social functions most weekends with either friends or family. I don't know that any of these functions have a bunch of food that is inherently unhealthy...this time of year it's usually a cookout...burgers, steaks, chicken, and whatnot...things like potato salad, corn on the cob, baked beans, etc as side items.

    These functions are also generally accompanied by copious amounts of beer which is where the real calorie hit comes in...but I do a lot of cycling on weekends and I will typically have a small brunch as my only meal other than what is served at the function.
  • gothchiq
    gothchiq Posts: 4,598 Member
    Options
    By the way, I am Italian and Southern. Luckily my inlaws are *just* Southern, so my techniques are good enough to fool them. XD But yes, there are families where they watch what you take, how much, how much of it you actually eat, and they feel free to comment and push you. Personally I think this sort of thing is egregiously rude, but it still happens. If I were headed for something like this I would suddenly "get sick" with something horribly contagious at the last minute. Luckily I think the guilt tripping/food pushing family cultures are dying out over time, at least in the USA.
  • 777Gemma888
    777Gemma888 Posts: 9,578 Member
    Options
    * Bank calories beforehand
    * Pre-plan your eats ( family gatherings are rather predictable. You can pre-determine how many burgers or hot dogs or roast beef slices or potatoes etc you're likely to eat over a specific period of time during the function.
    * Focus on foods which are primarily water with low sugar and bitter foods(watch the salt) -Helps you avoid the why aren't you eating questions.
    * Eat slowly.
    * Don't situate yourself near talkative people, most especially if you aren't much of a prattler. Knee-jerk is usually to eat more whilst listening to them talk. If you're talking more, you're eating less.
    * Zero in on a toddler child relative who needs to be fed. He/she will keep you busy, to the point where you're going to forget to eat. And when children are in your arms, people tend to leave you alone if you're eating less than everyone else. A fussy eater is a God send.

    **At extended family gatherings, I'm usually a raw vegan, otherwise there will literally be too many dishes, pastries and desserts to sample, as EVERYONE is a chef. Takes the guesswork out for relatives & friends. That way, I can choose to eat before or after the event.
  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
    Options
    seltzermint555 wrote: »
    Preach!

    My Italian American mom split with my "normal" dad and he married a Southern woman. So I have 2 insane families.

    I have seen my family get into a major fight if the table ran out of rolls and someone didn't get the new batch out of the oven fast enough. Oh and if an empty plate is seen the conversation is halted for a commercial break informing the owner of the empty plate of each and every single dish still available. "Phillip there are more mashed potatoes over here. There are green beans near Aunt Margaret, still plenty of meat in the middle, and the rolls... MARY WHERE ARE THE ROLLS!?!"

  • Cbean08
    Cbean08 Posts: 1,092 Member
    Options
    You can always learn the art of "plate drawing." Leave extra food on your plate and become engaged in something else - conversation/ activity. Then it looks like you're still eating and people won't be piling more food on your plate. Every so often, move the food around with a fork into a different design. When the meal is over, just dump the leftovers in the trash.

    Or, if there is a dog around, feed the leftovers to the dog.
  • MrSouthSide
    MrSouthSide Posts: 12 Member
    Options
    seltzermint555 wrote: »

    Oh man. Some families are definitely not like this, but will watch like hawks and try to shove food down your throat and maybe even CRY if you aren't enjoying what they brought/cooked.

    Especially large Southern families, Italian American families, and more...

    Let's face it. For a lot of families, Food=Love.
  • IGbnat24
    IGbnat24 Posts: 520 Member
    edited May 2018
    Options
    I always bring a side dish that is on the healthier side so I can snack on it guilt free. There’s also usually fruit at warm-weather get togethers (and if not, bring a watermelon!) so that’s safe to load up on without worry. That said, I typically let go of my normal eating habits at family get togethers a because A.) One day will not ruin your progress and B.) Every family has that one person who makes THE BEST main/side/dessert/whatever and it should be enjoyed since it’s not always available. Skip bread/chips and dip/store bought junk and instead fill up one plate with a little bit of the special homemade stuff and enjoy!
  • psychod787
    psychod787 Posts: 4,088 Member
    Options
    pinggolfer96 wrote: »
    Bring your own healthy items

    Yep....
  • mkculs
    mkculs Posts: 316 Member
    Options
    Caring or not caring about comments others make is 100% under your control. Once I realized I didn’t have to care or even respond, I quit noticing those comments. And then they stop. It takes time and practice to become truly at ease with your decision not to care, your decision to ignore questions or comments you don’t care about, and your decision to respond by changing the subject—but doing it will give you practice in handling any situation (related to food or your weight, or not) for the rest of your life. It’s practice in appropriate assertiveness, something most women need to learn. Good luck.

Categories