Husband critisizing weight loss plateau
sharneseconey7376
Posts: 19 Member
Ive lost about 45 lbs since January. For the past month though i have only lost 3lbs. I am eating 1200 per day calories and still have over 100lbs to lose.
Today my husband commented on my weight loss saying maybe the calories of the things i am eating are more because there is no way they can be accurate and that i should eat less than 1200 calories. I told him i cant do that i and he said why not its just a made up number. I told him its insulting to criticise my weight loss and just to shut up about it and explained to him that i started exercising this month and have been less motivated and not recording accurately.
He still doesnt drop it and continues saying it might be because of companies and mfp not accurately stating calories. I tell him it could be anything and that i dont need to eat fewer than 1200 and that i just need to get back on track. He doesnt understand how hurtful it is for him to continue pointing out the fact that im not losing as much weight as before. He is supposed to motivate me and refuses to apologize because he thinks he is right. He said he is sorry but i should just consider what he is saying at eat less calories. I told him to try eating 1200 calories for a week and see how he feels then try and eat less cals. Im just so frustrated and right now and in need of support.
Today my husband commented on my weight loss saying maybe the calories of the things i am eating are more because there is no way they can be accurate and that i should eat less than 1200 calories. I told him i cant do that i and he said why not its just a made up number. I told him its insulting to criticise my weight loss and just to shut up about it and explained to him that i started exercising this month and have been less motivated and not recording accurately.
He still doesnt drop it and continues saying it might be because of companies and mfp not accurately stating calories. I tell him it could be anything and that i dont need to eat fewer than 1200 and that i just need to get back on track. He doesnt understand how hurtful it is for him to continue pointing out the fact that im not losing as much weight as before. He is supposed to motivate me and refuses to apologize because he thinks he is right. He said he is sorry but i should just consider what he is saying at eat less calories. I told him to try eating 1200 calories for a week and see how he feels then try and eat less cals. Im just so frustrated and right now and in need of support.
23
Replies
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I'm sorry girl-- its really hard when you feel like you are doing everything you can but the scale isnt moving. Im there right now as well.
The reality is that you will push past this and the weight loss will happen. You may have to find a new exercise routine or a way to increase protein, decrease carbs, etc. But you will get through this. And btw, 45 lbs since Jan is PHENOMINAL!!!
I truly don't think he meant to be insulting, but I can understand how that wasn't at all what you needed. When you cool off some, try just letting him know you are frusterated with your results but you don't need him to troubleshoot, only to listen and be encouraging.4 -
tell him to shut up or he isn't getting laid for the forseeable future?25
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IMO 1200 calories is not enough food for you if you still have 100 lbs to lose. There are risks to undereatomg and being malnourished. Have you been to visit your doctor at all throughout this process?15
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It sounds to me like he knows you’re bummed and he’s trying to encourage you but he’s not going about it the right way.9
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I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I couldn't eat 1200 either. Thankfully it isn't necessary for most of us. I'm sorry your husband isn't getting it.4
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The scale isn't the only measure. Sometimes we don't lose weight but lose inches, so it does pay to also keep a track of the basic chest, waist, hips, arms and legs measurements. From experience after dropping over 100lbs... weight loss isn't linear. There will be periods where nothing happens as the body catches on to what you're up to. There are so many options in this space. At 1200 calories you have no room for movement. It is usual to have a higher base and reassess macros for every 10lbs lost. Gradually reducing inline with weight reduction. I'm 5'2", 53kg, relatively active and consume 1300-1400 a day. When I started out with 45kg to lose I was eating 1800-1900 a day with no exercise and dropping weight. As I lost.. I reduced my intake. When I added more exercise I reassessed again. What type of an eating plan are you following?
And... 45lbs since January is a great achievement and don't let the pride be taken away from you :-)4 -
I actually feel this is YOUR game not his. Keep your wins and struggles and food to yourself and come on MFP to share. I am wondering if he is one less stress you can do without in regards to this very personal journey!8
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1200 seems awful low. I’d starve. I have 130-140 to lose and I’m losing steadily at 1750-1900 per day.4
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emmamcgarity wrote: »IMO 1200 calories is not enough food for you if you still have 100 lbs to lose. There are risks to undereatomg and being malnourished. Have you been to visit your doctor at all throughout this process?
Im just going off what mfp is saying. I started at 273 right now im at 228. Still have 98lbs to goal weight of 130. I also exercise and eat back those cals now so its more like 1300 to 1500 per day0 -
The scale isn't the only measure. Sometimes we don't lose weight but lose inches, so it does pay to also keep a track of the basic chest, waist, hips, arms and legs measurements. From experience after dropping over 100lbs... weight loss isn't linear. There will be periods where nothing happens as the body catches on to what you're up to. There are so many options in this space. At 1200 calories you have no room for movement. It is usual to have a higher base and reassess macros for every 10lbs lost. Gradually reducing inline with weight reduction. I'm 5'2", 53kg, relatively active and consume 1300-1400 a day. When I started out with 45kg to lose I was eating 1800-1900 a day with no exercise and dropping weight. As I lost.. I reduced my intake. When I added more exercise I reassessed again. What type of an eating plan are you following?
And... 45lbs since January is a great achievement and don't let the pride be taken away from you :-)
I was just doing cico until may 1st then i started walking a mile and a half daily and riding my bike 5 miles per day once or twice a week. I eat what i want and just keep track of my cals0 -
zombikitten wrote: »I'm sorry girl-- its really hard when you feel like you are doing everything you can but the scale isnt moving. Im there right now as well.
The reality is that you will push past this and the weight loss will happen. You may have to find a new exercise routine or a way to increase protein, decrease carbs, etc. But you will get through this. And btw, 45 lbs since Jan is PHENOMINAL!!!
I truly don't think he meant to be insulting, but I can understand how that wasn't at all what you needed. When you cool off some, try just letting him know you are frusterated with your results but you don't need him to troubleshoot, only to listen and be encouraging.
Thank you.0 -
sharneseconey7376 wrote: »The scale isn't the only measure. Sometimes we don't lose weight but lose inches, so it does pay to also keep a track of the basic chest, waist, hips, arms and legs measurements. From experience after dropping over 100lbs... weight loss isn't linear. There will be periods where nothing happens as the body catches on to what you're up to. There are so many options in this space. At 1200 calories you have no room for movement. It is usual to have a higher base and reassess macros for every 10lbs lost. Gradually reducing inline with weight reduction. I'm 5'2", 53kg, relatively active and consume 1300-1400 a day. When I started out with 45kg to lose I was eating 1800-1900 a day with no exercise and dropping weight. As I lost.. I reduced my intake. When I added more exercise I reassessed again. What type of an eating plan are you following?
And... 45lbs since January is a great achievement and don't let the pride be taken away from you :-)
I was just doing cico until may 1st then i started walking a mile and a half daily and riding my bike 5 miles per day once or twice a week. I eat what i want and just keep track of my cals
any way of eating is based off CICO CICO is an energy balance.5 -
sharneseconey7376 wrote: »Ive lost about 45 lbs since January. For the past month though i have only lost 3lbs. I am eating 1200 per day calories and still have over 100lbs to lose.
Today my husband commented on my weight loss saying maybe the calories of the things i am eating are more because there is no way they can be accurate and that i should eat less than 1200 calories. I told him i cant do that i and he said why not its just a made up number. I told him its insulting to criticise my weight loss and just to shut up about it and explained to him that i started exercising this month and have been less motivated and not recording accurately.
He still doesnt drop it and continues saying it might be because of companies and mfp not accurately stating calories. I tell him it could be anything and that i dont need to eat fewer than 1200 and that i just need to get back on track. He doesnt understand how hurtful it is for him to continue pointing out the fact that im not losing as much weight as before. He is supposed to motivate me and refuses to apologize because he thinks he is right. He said he is sorry but i should just consider what he is saying at eat less calories. I told him to try eating 1200 calories for a week and see how he feels then try and eat less cals. Im just so frustrated and right now and in need of support.
I agree that your husband shouldn't be telling you to eat less than 1200 calories, but that being said, one thing you said that I bolded is that maybe the calories of the things you are eating are more. He might be right, because if you were truly eating only 1200 calories with 100 lbs to lose, the weight should be falling off of you. I assumed a few things like age, and if you are set at 2 lbs a week loss, then it puts you between 12-1300 calories a day. Are you weighing your solid foods and measuring liquids, then finding correct entries for the foods?
Or, since you just started exercising, maybe the water weight from that has masked some of the weight loss and it will catch up with you in a week or so.7 -
If you recently started exercising you're likely retaining water as your muscles repair themselves. This causes a stall, and sometimes gain, in water weight as seen on your scale. The water will drop off and you will see the loss on the scale eventually. This doesn't mean you're not losing, and you should definitely keep track of inches because they often continue to drop even if your weight doesn't.
I definitely think you need to eat more if you still have 100 lbs to lose, especially if you are going to be exercising. You will need the energy to keep going and will crash hard if you don't. Use mfp's recommendations and eat back some of your exercise calories. Losing steadily is better than becoming discouraged and stopping altogether.
Your partner should be more encouraging and do some research instead of spewing nonsense and bringing you down. I'm sorry you have to deal with that. Maybe find some information and share it with him and tell him what you need from him. Also, congrats on your loss so far! Many people notice they lose quickly in the beginning and it tapers off and they lose more slowly. That is normal so don't let it discourage you. You are doing amazing!2 -
You're probably retaining water from the additional exercise. That being said, given your stats I can't see how MFP only gave you 1200 cals?3
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Maybe it's time to stop discussing the amount of calories you eat and your weight loss with your husband, particularly as he isn't being supportive.5
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I think that the best thing to do would be to tell your husband that he should consider that you were losing faster than desirable and that you probably should NOT be trying to lose at a rate of >10lbs a month.
In his considered opinion how long should it take you to lose 150lbs?
And how long does he think it will take you both to adjust to the new reality that will help you maintain a 150lb loss?5 -
I'm sorry. That must be frustrating. You probably could eat more and still lose at a healthy rate and then be less likely to cheat out of hunger. I can relate on the partner comment causing frustration. Get this, my bf thinks the key to a nice waist is a waist trainer. He "knows people" who use them and have drastically shrunk their stomachs supposedly. I keep telling him how BS that whole concept is but he doesnt listen.5
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You've been losing fast. I've lost about 45 lbs in almost a year. I had 100 to lose but only could sustain the 2 lb. Per week for about 20 lb. Since then I've been losing between .5- 1 lb. per week. I eat more though. I agree you may be eating more than you think so get a food scale. Perhaps ask your husband to read some of the stickies on mfp about rate of loss, otherwise stop telling him the details if he's going to tell you to eat less than 1200 Calories. That is not sustainable to lose 150 lbs. And exercise and maintain it. If you lose too fast you will have problems keeping it off for various reasons. At your weight you can continue at 2 lbs. Per week but don't go under 1200!1
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I get similar stuff from my family, sometimes... especially grandparents who believe in dieting by skipping meals and eating as little as possible etc (funnily enough, these people are also chronic yo-yo dieters because guess what happens when they get to their goal weight)
Besides, plateaus happen, some weeks (or months) just don't show the results that you'd expect.. while it's not a bad thing to have a closer look at your numbers, it doesn't necessarily mean you should suddenly radically change your diet
1200 calories sucks! and this is coming from someone who's 5'2 and aiming to lose only about 20 more lbs who is sticking to about 1300 a day... I imagine your husband might mean well, but doesn't know how little1200 cal can be and how much planning it sometimes takes to get all the nutrients and not feel like you're starving on that amount of food! If he keeps bringing it up, maybe he *should* try it for a week and see how he feels
New exercise usually slows down my weight loss at first too, btw.. not even due to logging, I think it's just due to my body adjusting.. and I find it pretty typical to feel hungry more often when I up my activity... You could honestly probably eat more than 1200 a day and still lose weight though? If you're aiming for another 100lbs
Personally 1500-1600 worked for me when I first started at around 65lbs overweight0 -
You have been doing very well. Don't let this get you down. Maybe the Mr. should eat what you eat for 1 week and he just might change his mind.
It worked for me
He broke down 18 hours in!!! 6 -
Sorry he doesn't understand. Unfortunately, the more you lose, the harder it is to lose! It definitely takes time and hearing negative comments doesn't help keep the motivation very high. I hope that you are able to stay strong. You know what you're doing and if you need to switch something up eventually, that might work but it isn't healthy to eat less than 1200 for anyone, especially those of us with more to lose!. Also, sometimes in the beginning of a new workout regimen, you will retain water and have muscle retention which can lead to little or no weight loss. Make sure you are giving your body time to recover after strength training or full body workouts (like Zumba etc.) Daily walking, weekly zumba and a few days of resistance training has been wonderful for me. Best of luck to you!1
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musicfan68 wrote: »sharneseconey7376 wrote: »Ive lost about 45 lbs since January. For the past month though i have only lost 3lbs. I am eating 1200 per day calories and still have over 100lbs to lose.
Today my husband commented on my weight loss saying maybe the calories of the things i am eating are more because there is no way they can be accurate and that i should eat less than 1200 calories. I told him i cant do that i and he said why not its just a made up number. I told him its insulting to criticise my weight loss and just to shut up about it and explained to him that i started exercising this month and have been less motivated and not recording accurately.
He still doesnt drop it and continues saying it might be because of companies and mfp not accurately stating calories. I tell him it could be anything and that i dont need to eat fewer than 1200 and that i just need to get back on track. He doesnt understand how hurtful it is for him to continue pointing out the fact that im not losing as much weight as before. He is supposed to motivate me and refuses to apologize because he thinks he is right. He said he is sorry but i should just consider what he is saying at eat less calories. I told him to try eating 1200 calories for a week and see how he feels then try and eat less cals. Im just so frustrated and right now and in need of support.
I agree that your husband shouldn't be telling you to eat less than 1200 calories, but that being said, one thing you said that I bolded is that maybe the calories of the things you are eating are more. He might be right, because if you were truly eating only 1200 calories with 100 lbs to lose, the weight should be falling off of you. I assumed a few things like age, and if you are set at 2 lbs a week loss, then it puts you between 12-1300 calories a day. Are you weighing your solid foods and measuring liquids, then finding correct entries for the foods?
Or, since you just started exercising, maybe the water weight from that has masked some of the weight loss and it will catch up with you in a week or so.
I weigh everything. He thinks mfp and food companies labels are incorrect. For example lets say a a food is 300 cals according to mfp or nutrition labels he wants me to eat half or less than the whole thing then still record 300.0 -
TavistockToad wrote: »You're probably retaining water from the additional exercise. That being said, given your stats I can't see how MFP only gave you 1200 cals?
Idk either im on 2lbs loss a week. Im 5'4 i recalculate it every 10lbs lost0 -
sharneseconey7376 wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »You're probably retaining water from the additional exercise. That being said, given your stats I can't see how MFP only gave you 1200 cals?
Idk either im on 2lbs loss a week. Im 5'4 i recalculate it every 10lbs lost
and you are completely sedentary?0 -
sharneseconey7376 wrote: »musicfan68 wrote: »sharneseconey7376 wrote: »Ive lost about 45 lbs since January. For the past month though i have only lost 3lbs. I am eating 1200 per day calories and still have over 100lbs to lose.
Today my husband commented on my weight loss saying maybe the calories of the things i am eating are more because there is no way they can be accurate and that i should eat less than 1200 calories. I told him i cant do that i and he said why not its just a made up number. I told him its insulting to criticise my weight loss and just to shut up about it and explained to him that i started exercising this month and have been less motivated and not recording accurately.
He still doesnt drop it and continues saying it might be because of companies and mfp not accurately stating calories. I tell him it could be anything and that i dont need to eat fewer than 1200 and that i just need to get back on track. He doesnt understand how hurtful it is for him to continue pointing out the fact that im not losing as much weight as before. He is supposed to motivate me and refuses to apologize because he thinks he is right. He said he is sorry but i should just consider what he is saying at eat less calories. I told him to try eating 1200 calories for a week and see how he feels then try and eat less cals. Im just so frustrated and right now and in need of support.
I agree that your husband shouldn't be telling you to eat less than 1200 calories, but that being said, one thing you said that I bolded is that maybe the calories of the things you are eating are more. He might be right, because if you were truly eating only 1200 calories with 100 lbs to lose, the weight should be falling off of you. I assumed a few things like age, and if you are set at 2 lbs a week loss, then it puts you between 12-1300 calories a day. Are you weighing your solid foods and measuring liquids, then finding correct entries for the foods?
Or, since you just started exercising, maybe the water weight from that has masked some of the weight loss and it will catch up with you in a week or so.
I weigh everything. He thinks mfp and food companies labels are incorrect. For example lets say a a food is 300 cals according to mfp or nutrition labels he wants me to eat half or less than the whole thing then still record 300.
Well tough cookies on him! If he wants to eat half a sandwich and count the full calories, he's more than welcome. You do you. If he's truly loving and supportive, he won't be advocating you starving yourself.4 -
wait, you said he refused to apologize but then you said he said sorry.....were you complaining about your plateau and that was his solution or was he looking over your shoulder and giving completely unsolicited advice. The people in our lives every day definitely feel comfortable in all of our business people that aren't sensitive about certain things don't get it when other people are. Don't start thinking he's not on your side because I bet he is. Just keep going.1
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The more I think about this, the more it irritates me. My husband and I have very different philosophies/methods for losing weight. We've both lost weight in the past successfully and are currently working on staying at healthy weights (I have a few more pounds to work off). He would never presume that he knows what would work for me better than I do. We're married, not sharing a body.3
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I eat around 1700 calories and workout about an hour 5 days a week. 1200 is way too little calories for you to eat. I have lost 22 pounds since January starting at about 155 and I'm now 133. Your husband probably has no idea what it is like to deal with this. Sometimes my husband (who is naturally super thin) will say something that is offensive to me but he does not mean anything bad by it. Many guys just do not understand the struggle. Sitting next to him as he basically inhales almost a whole pizza while I eat my own little healthy pre-portioned meal is quite hard. Your husband is probably like most men and does not understand the dedication and consistency it takes to lose weight. I have hit many plateaus during this weight loss and like your husband mine has said things I thought were out of line. What I did was sit him down and explain how it makes me feel when he says those things because he has not done the research and put in the time that I have.2
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Tell him sweetly and kindly, just be thankful and glad that you don't have to live in my body. I'd really like your support.0
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