Husband critisizing weight loss plateau
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You have been doing very well. Don't let this get you down. Maybe the Mr. should eat what you eat for 1 week and he just might change his mind.
It worked for me
He broke down 18 hours in!!! 6 -
Sorry he doesn't understand. Unfortunately, the more you lose, the harder it is to lose! It definitely takes time and hearing negative comments doesn't help keep the motivation very high. I hope that you are able to stay strong. You know what you're doing and if you need to switch something up eventually, that might work but it isn't healthy to eat less than 1200 for anyone, especially those of us with more to lose!. Also, sometimes in the beginning of a new workout regimen, you will retain water and have muscle retention which can lead to little or no weight loss. Make sure you are giving your body time to recover after strength training or full body workouts (like Zumba etc.) Daily walking, weekly zumba and a few days of resistance training has been wonderful for me. Best of luck to you!1
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musicfan68 wrote: »sharneseconey7376 wrote: »Ive lost about 45 lbs since January. For the past month though i have only lost 3lbs. I am eating 1200 per day calories and still have over 100lbs to lose.
Today my husband commented on my weight loss saying maybe the calories of the things i am eating are more because there is no way they can be accurate and that i should eat less than 1200 calories. I told him i cant do that i and he said why not its just a made up number. I told him its insulting to criticise my weight loss and just to shut up about it and explained to him that i started exercising this month and have been less motivated and not recording accurately.
He still doesnt drop it and continues saying it might be because of companies and mfp not accurately stating calories. I tell him it could be anything and that i dont need to eat fewer than 1200 and that i just need to get back on track. He doesnt understand how hurtful it is for him to continue pointing out the fact that im not losing as much weight as before. He is supposed to motivate me and refuses to apologize because he thinks he is right. He said he is sorry but i should just consider what he is saying at eat less calories. I told him to try eating 1200 calories for a week and see how he feels then try and eat less cals. Im just so frustrated and right now and in need of support.
I agree that your husband shouldn't be telling you to eat less than 1200 calories, but that being said, one thing you said that I bolded is that maybe the calories of the things you are eating are more. He might be right, because if you were truly eating only 1200 calories with 100 lbs to lose, the weight should be falling off of you. I assumed a few things like age, and if you are set at 2 lbs a week loss, then it puts you between 12-1300 calories a day. Are you weighing your solid foods and measuring liquids, then finding correct entries for the foods?
Or, since you just started exercising, maybe the water weight from that has masked some of the weight loss and it will catch up with you in a week or so.
I weigh everything. He thinks mfp and food companies labels are incorrect. For example lets say a a food is 300 cals according to mfp or nutrition labels he wants me to eat half or less than the whole thing then still record 300.0 -
TavistockToad wrote: »You're probably retaining water from the additional exercise. That being said, given your stats I can't see how MFP only gave you 1200 cals?
Idk either im on 2lbs loss a week. Im 5'4 i recalculate it every 10lbs lost0 -
sharneseconey7376 wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »You're probably retaining water from the additional exercise. That being said, given your stats I can't see how MFP only gave you 1200 cals?
Idk either im on 2lbs loss a week. Im 5'4 i recalculate it every 10lbs lost
and you are completely sedentary?0 -
sharneseconey7376 wrote: »musicfan68 wrote: »sharneseconey7376 wrote: »Ive lost about 45 lbs since January. For the past month though i have only lost 3lbs. I am eating 1200 per day calories and still have over 100lbs to lose.
Today my husband commented on my weight loss saying maybe the calories of the things i am eating are more because there is no way they can be accurate and that i should eat less than 1200 calories. I told him i cant do that i and he said why not its just a made up number. I told him its insulting to criticise my weight loss and just to shut up about it and explained to him that i started exercising this month and have been less motivated and not recording accurately.
He still doesnt drop it and continues saying it might be because of companies and mfp not accurately stating calories. I tell him it could be anything and that i dont need to eat fewer than 1200 and that i just need to get back on track. He doesnt understand how hurtful it is for him to continue pointing out the fact that im not losing as much weight as before. He is supposed to motivate me and refuses to apologize because he thinks he is right. He said he is sorry but i should just consider what he is saying at eat less calories. I told him to try eating 1200 calories for a week and see how he feels then try and eat less cals. Im just so frustrated and right now and in need of support.
I agree that your husband shouldn't be telling you to eat less than 1200 calories, but that being said, one thing you said that I bolded is that maybe the calories of the things you are eating are more. He might be right, because if you were truly eating only 1200 calories with 100 lbs to lose, the weight should be falling off of you. I assumed a few things like age, and if you are set at 2 lbs a week loss, then it puts you between 12-1300 calories a day. Are you weighing your solid foods and measuring liquids, then finding correct entries for the foods?
Or, since you just started exercising, maybe the water weight from that has masked some of the weight loss and it will catch up with you in a week or so.
I weigh everything. He thinks mfp and food companies labels are incorrect. For example lets say a a food is 300 cals according to mfp or nutrition labels he wants me to eat half or less than the whole thing then still record 300.
Well tough cookies on him! If he wants to eat half a sandwich and count the full calories, he's more than welcome. You do you. If he's truly loving and supportive, he won't be advocating you starving yourself.4 -
wait, you said he refused to apologize but then you said he said sorry.....were you complaining about your plateau and that was his solution or was he looking over your shoulder and giving completely unsolicited advice. The people in our lives every day definitely feel comfortable in all of our business people that aren't sensitive about certain things don't get it when other people are. Don't start thinking he's not on your side because I bet he is. Just keep going.1
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The more I think about this, the more it irritates me. My husband and I have very different philosophies/methods for losing weight. We've both lost weight in the past successfully and are currently working on staying at healthy weights (I have a few more pounds to work off). He would never presume that he knows what would work for me better than I do. We're married, not sharing a body.3
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I eat around 1700 calories and workout about an hour 5 days a week. 1200 is way too little calories for you to eat. I have lost 22 pounds since January starting at about 155 and I'm now 133. Your husband probably has no idea what it is like to deal with this. Sometimes my husband (who is naturally super thin) will say something that is offensive to me but he does not mean anything bad by it. Many guys just do not understand the struggle. Sitting next to him as he basically inhales almost a whole pizza while I eat my own little healthy pre-portioned meal is quite hard. Your husband is probably like most men and does not understand the dedication and consistency it takes to lose weight. I have hit many plateaus during this weight loss and like your husband mine has said things I thought were out of line. What I did was sit him down and explain how it makes me feel when he says those things because he has not done the research and put in the time that I have.2
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Tell him sweetly and kindly, just be thankful and glad that you don't have to live in my body. I'd really like your support.0
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Well, as a fellow evil husband let me offer that he is probably trying to help but stepping in it as this is a highly charged, sensitive issue for you. I suggest you focus on the plateau issue and not his commentary. My experience is that if your weight loss trend line has leveled off you might need to revisit your intake logging. Over time we tend to migrate back to old habits. Recalibrate your portion measurements, weigh everything for a while to ensure your 1200 is really 1200--it's really easy to make errors. If you really are at 1200 then you have a big loss pending--fluid retention doesn't last forever. If your logging was off you can fix it and get back on track.4
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sharneseconey7376 wrote: »musicfan68 wrote: »sharneseconey7376 wrote: »Ive lost about 45 lbs since January. For the past month though i have only lost 3lbs. I am eating 1200 per day calories and still have over 100lbs to lose.
Today my husband commented on my weight loss saying maybe the calories of the things i am eating are more because there is no way they can be accurate and that i should eat less than 1200 calories. I told him i cant do that i and he said why not its just a made up number. I told him its insulting to criticise my weight loss and just to shut up about it and explained to him that i started exercising this month and have been less motivated and not recording accurately.
He still doesnt drop it and continues saying it might be because of companies and mfp not accurately stating calories. I tell him it could be anything and that i dont need to eat fewer than 1200 and that i just need to get back on track. He doesnt understand how hurtful it is for him to continue pointing out the fact that im not losing as much weight as before. He is supposed to motivate me and refuses to apologize because he thinks he is right. He said he is sorry but i should just consider what he is saying at eat less calories. I told him to try eating 1200 calories for a week and see how he feels then try and eat less cals. Im just so frustrated and right now and in need of support.
I agree that your husband shouldn't be telling you to eat less than 1200 calories, but that being said, one thing you said that I bolded is that maybe the calories of the things you are eating are more. He might be right, because if you were truly eating only 1200 calories with 100 lbs to lose, the weight should be falling off of you. I assumed a few things like age, and if you are set at 2 lbs a week loss, then it puts you between 12-1300 calories a day. Are you weighing your solid foods and measuring liquids, then finding correct entries for the foods?
Or, since you just started exercising, maybe the water weight from that has masked some of the weight loss and it will catch up with you in a week or so.
I weigh everything. He thinks mfp and food companies labels are incorrect. For example lets say a a food is 300 cals according to mfp or nutrition labels he wants me to eat half or less than the whole thing then still record 300.
I was feeling charitably toward him before thinking it was just helpful concern, but this is just flat out irritating and the kind of thinking that gets people into eating disorder territory. Stand strong. The weight will come off when it comes off. Weight loss is not linear and people who expect it to be have probably never seriously dieted. And that's even more true for women with our pesky hormonal cycles.4 -
The husband issue has been addressed pretty well- make clear it is not an acceptable topic for discussion and do not respond to any of his attempts to engage you on the subject.
But I just want to go back to something I saw in your original post- "I started exercising this month and have been less motivated and not recording accurately." It's been mentioned that a new exercise routine results in water retention and can mask fat loss on the scale. But I'm concerned about the second part of your statement. You have made so much progress and while motivation will come & go, it's essential that you not let your good logging habits slide. I agree with others that suggest 1200 is unnecessary at this point and that it is far better to adjust your goal to 1 lb a week, have a higher calorie allowance to work with, and exercise a little more patience than to get burned out on 1200 calories and give up altogether. There is no rush- whether you are actively losing or maintaining, this process takes a lifetime. The goal is to make it sustainable for the long-term. Clearly your husband doesn't appreciate this, but you should.
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Tell him you've considered it and researched and what you've decided is xxx and would he please support you in this plan?0
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TavistockToad wrote: »sharneseconey7376 wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »You're probably retaining water from the additional exercise. That being said, given your stats I can't see how MFP only gave you 1200 cals?
Idk either im on 2lbs loss a week. Im 5'4 i recalculate it every 10lbs lost
and you are completely sedentary?
No. The beginning of may i started walking about 1.5 miles and riding my bike 5 mile. I eat back the calories also i use samsung health to track exercise0 -
Jennloella wrote: »wait, you said he refused to apologize but then you said he said sorry.....were you complaining about your plateau and that was his solution or was he looking over your shoulder and giving completely unsolicited advice. The people in our lives every day definitely feel comfortable in all of our business people that aren't sensitive about certain things don't get it when other people are. Don't start thinking he's not on your side because I bet he is. Just keep going.
He said "sorry but you should still eat less than 1200 calories". He still thinks he is right and doesnt understand why i just wanted him to drop it. Thats not an apology to me whatsoever.
We weigh ourselves every morning together even though he is not trying to lose weight. I dont discuss my weight with but he sees it. He saw me eating a serving size of icecream and was like maybe the calories are wrong. that icecream cant be 120 calories (i weighed out the serving size by the way) all the stuff youre adding could be wrong who even says you have to eat 1200 calories, you should eat less calories how are all the calorie counts round numbers and thats why you havent lost weight. I tried explaining anything could be the reason, my hormones, water retention from exercising, not drinking enough water (i struggle with this i drink only 80 oz a day on avg sometimes less than 50) i also have braids and they get wet in my shower. It could be anything, i told him to research weight loss plateau and get back to me. He wouldnt drop it. He says so what ur saying is what im saying cant at all be the reason youre not losing. I asked him not to comment on my diet, or body but he wouldnt drop it. It got to the point where i just wanted to leave the house. I told him it was insulting to recommend anything to me when he knows nothing about that im doing with my weight other than what the scale says.3 -
Time to draw a boundary. If he can't be quiet about your weigh ins, tell him he is no longer invited to participate.4
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sharneseconey7376 wrote: »Jennloella wrote: »wait, you said he refused to apologize but then you said he said sorry.....were you complaining about your plateau and that was his solution or was he looking over your shoulder and giving completely unsolicited advice. The people in our lives every day definitely feel comfortable in all of our business people that aren't sensitive about certain things don't get it when other people are. Don't start thinking he's not on your side because I bet he is. Just keep going.
He said "sorry but you should still eat less than 1200 calories". He still thinks he is right and doesnt understand why i just wanted him to drop it. Thats not an apology to me whatsoever.
We weigh ourselves every morning together even though he is not trying to lose weight. I dont discuss my weight with but he sees it. He saw me eating a serving size of icecream and was like maybe the calories are wrong. that icecream cant be 120 calories (i weighed out the serving size by the way) all the stuff youre adding could be wrong who even says you have to eat 1200 calories, you should eat less calories how are all the calorie counts round numbers and thats why you havent lost weight. I tried explaining anything could be the reason, my hormones, water retention from exercising, not drinking enough water (i struggle with this i drink only 80 oz a day on avg sometimes less than 50) i also have braids and they get wet in my shower. It could be anything, i told him to research weight loss plateau and get back to me. He wouldnt drop it. He says so what ur saying is what im saying cant at all be the reason youre not losing. I asked him not to comment on my diet, or body but he wouldnt drop it. It got to the point where i just wanted to leave the house. I told him it was insulting to recommend anything to me when he knows nothing about that im doing with my weight other than what the scale says.
I can't imagine how frustrating this would be, but again, you need to stop including him in any aspect of your weight loss and to only reply, "I'm not discussing this with you" when he brings it up again.
I just want to point out, too, that what you have described is not a "plateau". A plateau assumes that you are doing everything right and inexplicably have not seen results for many weeks. You yourself said that you have not been tracking carefully and have lost weight in the last month, just not at the rate you had hoped for. I'm not saying this to be critical- just to point out that you are still in complete control of the situation. 2 -
I really feel for you and I’m very concerned that his involvement in your eating and weight will lead you to give up completely or develop an eating disorder. You have done an amazing job so far and should be proud of your hard work! It sounds like you are being more patient with the process than he is...which is super weird to me. You definitely need to set some boundaries with him on this and also don’t vent to him your frustrations with plateaus. Turn to MFP or your supportive family/friends. And if he won’t give you some room to figure this out yourself, you may want to seek out a marriage counselor as this behavior is really not great for your marriage regardless of how helpful he is trying to be.1
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sharneseconey7376 wrote: »musicfan68 wrote: »sharneseconey7376 wrote: »Ive lost about 45 lbs since January. For the past month though i have only lost 3lbs. I am eating 1200 per day calories and still have over 100lbs to lose.
Today my husband commented on my weight loss saying maybe the calories of the things i am eating are more because there is no way they can be accurate and that i should eat less than 1200 calories. I told him i cant do that i and he said why not its just a made up number. I told him its insulting to criticise my weight loss and just to shut up about it and explained to him that i started exercising this month and have been less motivated and not recording accurately.
He still doesnt drop it and continues saying it might be because of companies and mfp not accurately stating calories. I tell him it could be anything and that i dont need to eat fewer than 1200 and that i just need to get back on track. He doesnt understand how hurtful it is for him to continue pointing out the fact that im not losing as much weight as before. He is supposed to motivate me and refuses to apologize because he thinks he is right. He said he is sorry but i should just consider what he is saying at eat less calories. I told him to try eating 1200 calories for a week and see how he feels then try and eat less cals. Im just so frustrated and right now and in need of support.
I agree that your husband shouldn't be telling you to eat less than 1200 calories, but that being said, one thing you said that I bolded is that maybe the calories of the things you are eating are more. He might be right, because if you were truly eating only 1200 calories with 100 lbs to lose, the weight should be falling off of you. I assumed a few things like age, and if you are set at 2 lbs a week loss, then it puts you between 12-1300 calories a day. Are you weighing your solid foods and measuring liquids, then finding correct entries for the foods?
Or, since you just started exercising, maybe the water weight from that has masked some of the weight loss and it will catch up with you in a week or so.
I weigh everything. He thinks mfp and food companies labels are incorrect. For example lets say a a food is 300 cals according to mfp or nutrition labels he wants me to eat half or less than the whole thing then still record 300.
Does he think there is some huge MFP and corporate conspiracy going on here? I mean that sounds ridiculous. Must be a hell of a set up to get all food companies and MFP to mislabel calories. Also if that's the case why is everyone else on MFP losing weight by using labels and MFP? Actually that might be a good point for you, MFP users use the same things you are to count calories and they are losing weight so how could that be? as an aside since MFP info is put in by users you do have to fact check against the label once in a while but most times people have already done it for you.0
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