Setting myself up for failure.

mkculs

I've lost 5 lbs in 5 weeks. Pretty cool to see it happen. But I just realized that I am setting myself up for failure.

TL;DR: I need to learn to control my weight through my diet, first and foremost, and keep exercise as the pleasure it has usually been.

I was actually thinking about all these young folks I see who are doing 2 workouts/day. "That's not sustainable," I thought, "because life happens." When I was young, I was really fit. I ran 5 times a week, no problem. I had no one but myself and my dog to look after.

Then things started to change. First, having a job with more responsibility--more pay, but more hours. Then having a baby. Good; still managed an hour most days to run. Then baby #2 and a new job . . . more responsibilities at work, better pay, more hours/week. And --wow, that is when it all fell apart. I had two kids and a more demanding job. Exercise became less of a priority simply because I had accepted other responsibilities--and my weight control was, in fact, exercise-dependent. I never learned how to eat at maintenance. I learned to eat at maintenance + exercise, always. I didn't know that at the time, of course. Who does when they have been fit, are still fit, and not thinking about what they eat b/c they've been able to stay fit just in the way they live their life?

So, like many others, I got stuck--"couldn't" lose the weight gained with baby #2 (and it was a lot--I had a high risk pg, again, with something the doctor called "a metabolic disorder of pregnancy.) I was eating like I always had eaten--but no exercise. Started eating more, mindlessly, b/c again, it wasn't something I had had to think about for many years. Hello, pg weight + 40 lbs. Hello, MFP. Here I am, 20 years later, 100 lbs heavier than I want to be, weight loss strategies having failed multiple times in the past. And it all comes down to 1 thing.

I've never learned to eat at maintenance.

I'm doing it again--starting to use exercise/jogging (which I've done about 3 times a week, most of my life, despite the weight gain) as a way to manage my weight. I hate eating at maintenance (I think; I haven't done it enough to know). I hate trying to lose 2 lbs/week--I'm just too hungry. I'm tempted--b/c my calendar, at 1 lb a week, is known in my mind as "the two-year plan." Yes, that is ok--but I'm not really ok with it.

This time, I'm stopping to think about it. One reason my strategy fails is that I cannot do walking and running every single day. So far, it is the only exercise I love (other than playing sports, especially soccer). But I am already feeling some stress in my body--too much too soon, adding the daily long walks on top of my every-other day jogging routine. I am thinking about trying rowing. Maybe, eventually, joining a gym to do weights.

But I haven't done those things. Nope, I'm jogging and walking, and my feet are sore (walking doesn't stretch my plantar sufficiently and actually causes pain, whereas running doesn't). I'm already thinking about my run today that will let me eat more, and I'm a little hungry this morning.

I have to learn to eat less. It's that simple. Most days, I will exercise--but when something happens that makes it difficult/impossible (injury, esp.), I'm too dependent on the exercise for weight maintenance. And I don't want to make exercise anything more than the sheer pleasure it has been for most of my life.

ETA: Not sure what retirement will bring, but I don't plan to retire anytime soon, so no point in thinking too much about that. Does seem like a lot of "free" time, though, with few responsibilities!

SagePeach

I lost the extra weight without exercise factored in at all. This taught me how to eat correctly for my calorie goals. Now in maintenance I do some light exercise (walking mostly), for the health benefits, but it's not a factor in my weight management plan. I know several people who went the exercise route to lose/control their weight and it worked for a while-until injuries happened, schedules and jobs changed etc. They're now all overweight again, which is really sad.

Diatonic12

By focusing on old goals the old approaches no longer serve us.

There is the brain weight vs. the dream weight and these can clash with our fitness goals. When we do things we don't want to do just in the name of weight loss, this is the recipe for gaining all of the weight back. Do everything on your own terms.

snickerscharlie

The saying, "You can't outrun a bad diet" is very true. Using exercise to 'earn' food, instead of using food to fuel exercise is how many, many people have failed.

And as far as only setting yourself up to lose a lb a week instead of two? Seems like you have a choice, here:

a) Lose one lb a week reliably

or

b) Lose two pounds a week never.

You should also look up Exercise Bulimia. It's an disorder that's waaaaaay too easy to inadvertently and innocently slip into.

mkculs

Lose two pounds a week -- never. I love that! Makes me laugh. I will use it to remind myself why I picked 1 lb/week. I recall hearing about exercise bulimia many, many years ago (late 70s, early 80s). It was a girl from my high school and an article in the newspaper about how she got up to do 4 hours of exercise before going to work each day. They didn't use the term, but it was one of the earliest public discussions of eating disordered behaviors I recall ever seeing.

snickerscharlie

Exercise bulimia is all too easy to fall into. It can start off really innocently. "I'm going out to dinner tonight, so I'll cut back a bit on breakfast and lunch and go for a bike ride beforehand to help offset the calories I'll likely eat." Nothing wrong with this.

But that can easily progress to a stage where the mindset shifts - "Damn, I shouldn't have eaten that cookie. I need to get on the treadmill for an hour to burn that off!" Even if it's midnight and all you really want to do is go to sleep.

Using exercise to increase the amount of food you can eat in a day and still remain in a calorie deficit is a valid part of a weight loss strategy. It's finding the balance that can sometimes be tricky.

ljashley1952

Age and the reduction of hormones messes with the metabolism. At least, it does for women. I, also, find that I have difficulty eating within my boundaries. I love food and that makes it hard when you near retirement and everything slows down. Learning to track my intake was key. I measure everything and try to maintain my caloric deficit. I didn't drastically cut foods, but I did work on reducing my caloric intake by 200-300 calories a day.

PAV8888

snickerscharlie wrote: »

a) Lose one lb a week reliably or
b) Lose two pounds a week never.

QFT /end thread

PAV8888

20% of TDEE max deficit while overweight to normal weight; up to 25% while obese

Max.

Sustainability and compliance come first

kshama2001

I couldn't survive without exercise calories. My base calories simply aren't enough to keep me full. It stinks when I'm sick or injured. I do tend to overdue it a lot, and when that happens fall back on gentle yoga or shorter walking, which doesn't provide as much calories, but is certainly better than nothing. If chlorine-cleaned pools didn't make me sick, I'd swim more than just during open water season.