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If you could choose how you die
Deviette
Posts: 978 Member
Excuse the morbid thoughts, but this thought came into my head and it got me wondering about things more as a whole. Because yes, there's the funny answers, there's the touching answers, there's the slightly bleak answers. But I think most people don't actually think about what they would die of rather more of the circumstances around their death. Because it's easier to say "at home, while sleeping" than "of slowly degenerating heart disease, which becomes infected". Because that's the real question, if you could chose of what you'd die of, what would it be?
Except, don't we make though choices every day. Smokers know that they're at an increased risk of lung cancer. Those who are obese know that they're at increased risk of heart disease. Those who drink a lot, liver disease. Not bothering to put suncream on, skin cancer. Not getting your cataract done, falls and physical injuries. Extreme sports, freak accidents. Open water swimmer, drowning. Drug user, accidental OD. Living in certain places or countries can change your chance of being a victim of violent crime. You name it, everything that we do contributes to how we could die.
Heck, most people on here are trying to lose weight. We're trying to change the things that we'll probably eventually die of. Even if that's not what you think you're doing, how many people say they want to be healthier? What does that actually mean: You're trying to stop developing conditions that could eventually kill you.
I'm not quite sure where the discussion is here so I'll pose a couple of questions:
-What do you think of the above, what are your thoughts?
-So really what do you think you're likely to die of, based off your action?
(also, yes I am aware it is unusual for me to think about death so much. I'm very happy in my place in life, no I'm not depressed, yes I have always thought about death in varied and different ways to other around me. Yes it is a little bleak, but it is also something that we will all, eventually experience for ourselves.)
Except, don't we make though choices every day. Smokers know that they're at an increased risk of lung cancer. Those who are obese know that they're at increased risk of heart disease. Those who drink a lot, liver disease. Not bothering to put suncream on, skin cancer. Not getting your cataract done, falls and physical injuries. Extreme sports, freak accidents. Open water swimmer, drowning. Drug user, accidental OD. Living in certain places or countries can change your chance of being a victim of violent crime. You name it, everything that we do contributes to how we could die.
Heck, most people on here are trying to lose weight. We're trying to change the things that we'll probably eventually die of. Even if that's not what you think you're doing, how many people say they want to be healthier? What does that actually mean: You're trying to stop developing conditions that could eventually kill you.
I'm not quite sure where the discussion is here so I'll pose a couple of questions:
-What do you think of the above, what are your thoughts?
-So really what do you think you're likely to die of, based off your action?
(also, yes I am aware it is unusual for me to think about death so much. I'm very happy in my place in life, no I'm not depressed, yes I have always thought about death in varied and different ways to other around me. Yes it is a little bleak, but it is also something that we will all, eventually experience for ourselves.)
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I don't know what I'm likely to die of, but I do know I definitely do not want to go in my sleep. That thought has always terrified me. I actually want my death to be something painful. I want to be well aware of it at the moment. I always assumed I'd go in a car wreck, but hopefully not for a very long time.
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PaperDoll_ wrote: »I don't know what I'm likely to die of, but I do know I definitely do not want to go in my sleep. That thought has always terrified me. I actually want my death to be something painful. I want to be well aware of it at the moment. I always assumed I'd go in a car wreck, but hopefully not for a very long time.
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Something super awesome and exciting like flying fighter jet into an alien spaceship like Independence Day, is how I'd want to go.
I think it's most likely that I'll die in a car wreck as well. I just don't think gun violence is that likely, despite living in the U.S.3 -
Tortured to the death by the Spanish Inquisition, but I don't expect that will happen.13
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I want to die of a heart attack (which I suspect is in the cards for me anyway since it runs in the family). It's usually a quicker less violent sort of death, and often is "while sleeping" since most heart attacks happen very early in the morning. It's also milder for women, in general, and is less likely to involve waiting for death to come while suffering.
The reason I'm losing weight is not to prevent dying from heart disease, it's to have a better quality of life until I die. I don't want my legs amputated and my kidneys failing and having to deal with that for a good while before dying.
I want my death to be the most boring and ordinary. It would suck if I embarked on the most exciting adventure only to have it cut short. Exciting memories are half the appeal of an exciting event.8 -
i will probably die of pneumonia as i have stage four lymphoma, which is not being currently treated right now. the chemo i would be taking IF i ever had to *and i wouldn't anyway* causes secondary cancers! (i have a plan B for when things get really bad)
pneumonia for immuno compromised people such as me is unfortunately really common and i've already had it. i was this close to being hospitalized for it, which makes it even worse.
i'm doing everything in my power to stay healthy but there's no guarantees in life. live each day like it's your last my friends!30 -
The correct answer is quickly.12
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I think I'd like to spontaneously combust. Go out with a literal bang.. maybe get a little something on the unfortunates who happen to be close by.10
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Asleep, surrounded by my children and grandchildren. But that's not going to happen. So nephews, nieces, friends and family it is.5
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This thread made me think of a good friend of my husband who goes to the fitness center with us and is around 70. A PT asked him what his fitness goal for the year was and he said... "to die healthy".12
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Heck, most people on here are trying to lose weight. We're trying to change the things that we'll probably eventually die of. Even if that's not what you think you're doing, how many people say they want to be healthier? What does that actually mean: You're trying to stop developing conditions that could eventually kill you.
I'm not quite sure where the discussion is here so I'll pose a couple of questions:
-What do you think of the above, what are your thoughts?
-So really what do you think you're likely to die of, based off your action?
I wanted to lose weight mostly to have a good quality of life rather than avoiding death. Obviously if I am a healthy weight and having a good quality of life I am reducing certain health problems or risks of developing new problems.
I started being more active and going outside more which has led to more sunburns, rashes, bug bites, sore feet, overheating, slipping and falling, increased risk of getting hit by a car, risk of getting attacked by an animal, etc. Not all fatal things but increasing my risks of something happening to me through supposedly healthy activity. I could choke on a salad.
I think I'll probably fall down my basement stairs and die. My cat will probably trip me while I am carrying laundry. I think this every time I am on those stairs but I still use the stairs. I might die in a car accident. I still get in the car. I have a family history of cancer and heart problems. Everything causes cancer so it'll probably be cancer of some sort.
I think I would want a quick death rather than a lingering illness but dead is dead. I don't want to be murdered or killed in a war. I don't want to die in a fire. I don't want to die while having sex. Maybe I could die doing taxes. It is mostly how it would impact my family and friends I suppose that would impact my choice. I am undecided on what would be easier for the survivor to deal with. I suppose natural causes.
My mom died of cancer. She was overweight most of her adult life. She had other health issues. In her last few years it became hard for her to walk. She slept, ate and watch tv in a reclining chair and that was life. She was 68 years old. She went through chemotherapy. She was in a lot of pain at the end and they kept her in a drugged sleep at the hospice in her final week I don't know if she was aware she was dying or how she wanted to go but she was not conscious when she died. Could she have prevented her death from cancer at age 68? Maybe but I don't like to play that game.
My dad has been overweight a lot of his adult life too. He has had heart problems since I was a teenager. He has had other health issues. He has done little to reduce his risks of developing health problems. The man has never worn sunscreen that I know of. He has been expecting death for over 20 years. He is 84 years and still going though.
I guess I mostly feel you are going to die regardless and you need to choose how you want to live out your days. I'd rather not take a lot of medications. I want to feel well enough to go out and enjoy life fully. I'd like to be fit enough to reduce pain and injury as I get older. I'd like to be over 70 when I die.
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I would like to die by going to sleep and never waking up. That's my end goal when I've attempted suicide (obviously didn't work).
Genetically, from my mom's side - cancer of some sort (she died from lung cancer [not related to her smoking; some weird growth the doctors couldn't ID] which spread to her liver); a heart attack (3-4 uncles died that way); diabetic complications (1 uncle).
Genetically, from my dad's side - pancreatic cancer (1 aunt + her son); "natural causes" (grandma was just old and frail); combined diseases (heart problems, being old, broken limb, all 3); Ye Olde "We Don't Know What Killed Him, But His Lungs Were Full of Liquid, So Put Down Pulmonary Edema" (dad).
There've been several off deaths - war, car crash - that you can't plan for.
If I had to lay a bet on how I'll actually die, it would be a combo of a heart condition/weird-noncancerous growth while in hospital for something mundane.3 -
With a strong history of Type 2 diabetes in my family, I'll be happy as long as I don't die from complications of diabetes. I watched that happen with my grandma. No, thanks.
I'd like to go quickly, whatever it is.3 -
Hey wait, I don't want to die!!! I choose No13
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I really like this thread. Makes one consider things they never thought about. This thread made me think: I'm glad I'm losing weight, if at some point I end up needing special care I hate to think how harder it would be for my family if I were 300+ pounds.7
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I want to die in my sleep for sure. I'm suspecting it will actually be slow and painful starvation based on my current diseases but I hope not.10
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If I didn't have a special needs son to worry about I would be on board with dying in my sleep with no warning. Since I do have a special needs son I hope I have some warning so I can try to lessen the shock for him.9
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I have difficulties choosing where to eat. Having to choose a way of dying would be exponentially worse. lol
The only requirement I have is that I see it coming. I don't want to die with eyes closed and unaware. I'd like to be able to say my goodbyes and finalize my affairs.8 -
I'd like to go quietly in my sleep like my grandfather...not screaming and shouting as you plunge over a cliff like the people on the bus he was driving.13
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...with a complete sushi board right next to me...2
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I want to die peacefully in my sleep just like my auntie did.
Not screaming, like the passengers in her car.
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Gunnery Sergeant Hickman told me:
"Everybody wants to go the Heaven, nobody wants to die."
..... I reckon he was right.4 -
A few years ago I visited my grandfather in his hospital room. His health had greatly declined and we frankly didn't expect him to come home.
He was laying there with all of the tubes and wires and hook-ups that you see in a hospital room. He suddenly started having very struggled breathing and I could see the fear in his eyes.
He was strong enough to reach for a bedside pen and notepad. He took the pen, scribbled a note and then passed away. I was honored that his last and dying thoughts would be directed to me.
We called in the nurses and doctors... and he was taken into their care.
It was then that I looked at this cherished note that he had written to me; it simply read: "you're standing on my oxygen tube."8 -
Death by Penélope Cruz.4
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This turned into a Chit Chat thread real quick.
I regret giving a truthful, honest post.10 -
Motorsheen wrote: »Gunnery Sergeant Hickman told me:
"Everybody wants to go the Heaven, nobody wants to die."
..... I reckon he was right.
I'd say he's wrong on both counts.
There are notably people who want to die.
And
People who don't want to go to heaven.1 -
It's not that I want to die but through my own experiences with illnesses and pain plus seeing people going through endless suffering I know there are things that are WORSE than dying. I have a Crohn's friend who didn't want an ileostomy even though he was in and out of hospital every month. Last September he had a major perforation and needed 4-5 emergency surgeries. He now has short gut syndrome, abscesses, fistulas, been septic 4 times, is TPN dependent, NPO, has 3 broken vertebrates in his back because of years of corticosteroid use with no hope of ever leaving the hospital alive but who have doctors who are too scared to actually admit there is nothing more they can do. His Crohn's is now back and his Dr is putting him on a biologic (immunosuppressant) which is the worse thing they can do just to say they tried. Nope I would not want that. I'd want to be in palliative care getting adequate pain relief and NOT be subjected to that torture.5
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This turned into a Chit Chat thread real quick.
I regret giving a truthful, honest post.
I'll answer truthfully. Having seen both my parents die by the age of 21, I've given the matter more thought than I probably should have.
My mom died of a blood clot, pulmonary embolism. It was basically instant. Due to a genetic blood clotting disorder, I think I have a better-than-average chance of going this way (although I'm obviously doing what I can to circumvent it). My dad died in ICU after 3 weeks on a ventilator following complications from heart surgery and eventually sepsis. It was not the death I would have wanted for him, and definitely not one I'd want for myself.
Most of all, I don't want to die of cancer. I've seen it slowly kill multiple family members, and it is never a good way to go. The thought of knowing for months and months that the end is inevitably near and suffering through treatment to prolong it (or possibly not, I don't know) haunts me.5 -
stanmann571 wrote: »Motorsheen wrote: »Gunnery Sergeant Hickman told me:
"Everybody wants to go the Heaven, nobody wants to die."
..... I reckon he was right.
I'd say he's wrong on both counts.
There are notably people who want to die.
And
People who don't want to go to heaven.
..... maybe so, but I wasn't about to argue with him.
on his worst day, he could kick my tail.0
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