"Lose weight with a doctor's supervision." LOL!

LeanAmbitions

Okay. Long rant.

I weighed 463 a few months ago. I completely cleaned up my diet. I very rarely eat fast food now. Yesterday was the first time in two months and I didn't even eat anywhere near what I used to. I eat mostly fruits and veggies. Lean meats. I cut out most processed food. I work at a fast food restaurant but do not touch the food and have no desire to. (Being covered in grease all day has that effect on people.) I stopped drinking pop and I drink only water now, and a lot of it. I became a lot more active. I now weigh 435. I'm still way too big and I'm nowhere near done, but damn, I made some progress! I think I'm doing pretty effin' good!

So, I had a follow-up appointment with my primary care physician this morning about medication I'm on. I figured I would take that opportunity to ask her about what exercise was safe at my weight and make sure I was all clear on that and let her know the changes I've made. I don't need her support, but I thought I'd get some sort of expertise.

Firstly, her chart showed I gained weight because she used to use a scale that didn't weigh me so my weight was always off and I KNEW that then. Now she has a scale that weighs right and says I gained weight. Um, no. I told her I was 463. I now weigh 435. I'm losing weight at a faster pace then is even recommended. So she now knows I lost weight, but didn't bother asking me what I've been doing. She just goes on this rant about how I need to eat less calories and the right kind. WELL, NO CRAP! I told her all of what I just posted. "Well, I'm glad you're making SOME positive changes at least." Thanks? Then she busted out her BMI chart to show me that I should weigh 130 and informed me I have a LONG way to go. Duh! Make it seem even harder! I'm not aiming for 130 either. She can kiss my butt.

I told her about BMR and said I aim for 2400 calories a day but usually eat 2000. She informed me BMR is what you need to maintain your weight. I said, "I know. My actual BMR has me eating over 3400." Then she said I need to be eating 1500 and it'll go down lower when I've lost more weight. This chick will probably want me eating 1200 in a few months. She didn't seem to know much about BMR or even how to figure it out. I just wanted to punch her when I left there. She wasn't the least bit impressed with the changes I've made and told me I needed to do better and eat "the right kinds of calories". I've been eating mostly fruits and veggies for a few months now, but she doesn't listen for crap so she didn't hear anything I was saying.

I should say I am in good health besides weight. I have no immediate pressing medical issues that would tell her I need to drop weight fast. My blood pressure, blood sugar, and cholesterol are all textbook normal. So, that's not what her deal is. Sometimes I think she gets aggravated because she sees how heavy I am and is sure I will be ready to keel over and she ends up having to tell me I'm perfectly fine besides being obese. I know being big puts me at risk for those issues, but they aren't issues yet. I'm getting healthier to prevent them.

Shouldn't doctors know this stuff? They don't seem to. I'm looking for another doctor. This one has always rubbed me the wrong way.

btsinmd

I think the key thing here is that she's not listening to you. Yes, I'd look for another doctor, one that will look at and listen to you and respond to what you say, not to what's going on in her mind at the time.

megalin9

Time for a new doctor!!!! And I love your attitude about everything. You seem to really be doing great, and congrats on your success so far!

I just wanted to add that, while your doctor may be "right" about what she's telling you, I think she has a terrible bedside manner. It's not necessary for her to tell you what you already know and point out how far you have to go. I mean, she should be realistic, but she should also be considerate, supportive, encouraging, and basically a decent human being. I don't think she should coddle you, but she definitely doesn't have to rub your face in it either.

Also, I may have read this part wrong, but did you mean TDEE is what you need to maintain your weight, not BMR?

kteach36

I agree. You need to find a supportive doctor. I have a wonderful doctor who not only listens and supports me but actually told me I inspired her to lose weight and do more exercise. I left that appointment on cloud 9. ! Keep up the good work. It sounds like you are headed in the right direction!!

BrianSharpe

Shouldn't doctors know this stuff? They don't seem to. I'm looking for another doctor. This one has always rubbed me the wrong way.

Most family physicians spend about 15 minutes of their medical training on nutrition. If you do feel the need to for help see a Registered Dietician (not a nutritionist).

I'd look for a doctor who actually listens to you (especially if all of your other metrics are good)

LeanAmbitions

Time for a new doctor!!!! And I love your attitude about everything. You seem to really be doing great, and congrats on your success so far!

I just wanted to add that, while your doctor may be "right" about what she's telling you, I think she has a terrible bedside manner. It's not necessary for her to tell you what you already know and point out how far you have to go. I mean, she should be realistic, but she should also be considerate, supportive, encouraging, and basically a decent human being. I don't think she should coddle you, but she definitely doesn't have to rub your face in it either.

Also, I may have read this part wrong, but did you mean TDEE is what you need to maintain your weight, not BMR?

Probably. lol. 3420 is what I'd need to eat to maintain my weight and I actually have my thing set to sedentary which is not accurate anymore.

pinkstp

Woooo sheesh I would totally have given her a piece of my mind! Good attitude on your part, you can do it and you definitely don't need a whack doctor like that! Find a new one who respects you and your decisions to get healthy and continue on your journey! We look forward to reading about it on MFP!

Lyerin

She probably does not have any special training in diet/weight loss. You may do better visiting a registered dietitian because he/she has special training and spends all of his/her time working with clients on diet/weight loss/healthy behaviors.

As for exercise, I am not a doctor, but I would guess that something gentle, like swimming, would be easy on your body and beneficial to you. If you are comfortable walking, walking is also great exercise.

Best of luck.

becktacular90

When I went to get signed off to start doing LighterLife, my doctor told me for 20mins how almost impossible it was going to be and how I'd be lucky if I didn't end up back there in two months much heavier, then screeched around the whole surgery "I NEED BIGGER SCALES IN HERE, BIGGER SCALES"

Over 100lbs down, but I've still never ever been back.

If you'd like someone else who has a looooooooot to lose, feel free to add me as a friend

Oh, and change doctor :P

Lyerin

Oh and I agree that you need a new doctor. My personal doctor is like my biggest cheerleader. The last time I saw her, I had lost 5 pounds and she was all "good job! that is so awesome!" to encourage my healthy changes. I can't wait to see her in October of this year, because now I'm almost at 41 lost, so I should be well over 50 lost by then. I wish everyone could have a supportive doctor like her.

Melissa22G

I think the key thing here is that she's not listening to you. Yes, I'd look for another doctor, one that will look at and listen to you and respond to what you say, not to what's going on in her mind at the time.

Agree.

mitzvahmom78

Yes, definitely look for a new doctor. You need one who listens to you and actually hears you. Good luck and keep up the excellent work!

SoDamnHungry

Don't bother trying to tell her she's wrong. Get a new doctor! =D Sounds like you're doing amazing.

P.S. You think she'd notice that all of her patients were suddenly gaining tens of pounds. -_-;

ames105

Keep up the great attitude, you are an inspiration.

I'd find a new doctor too. Someone who is patient and listens. It scares me a bit that the doctor recommended 1500 calories, and I'm not a fan of the TDEE/BMR method. If you are losing weight where you are now, it doesn't make sense to go lower. It sounds like you've found what works for you and just keep doing it.

Good luck to you, I know you can do this!!

ladynocturne

She probably does not have any special training in diet/weight loss. You may do better visiting a registered dietitian because he/she has special training and spends all of his/her time working with clients on diet/weight loss/healthy behaviors.

As for exercise, I am not a doctor, but I would guess that something gentle, like swimming, would be easy on your body and beneficial to you. If you are comfortable walking, walking is also great exercise.

Best of luck.

This, most GPs have up to 7 hours of actual diet and nutrition training, most of them are quite ignorant but still have no problem pressing incorrect or even dangerous advice on their patients. She should have offered to refer you to a RD.

Also yeah, you mean your TDEE for 3400 calories a day to maintain, BMR is something in general people aren't recommended to eat below, it's what your body needs in order to run if you were in a coma. Even at sedentary you're burning a lot more calories than your BMR.

deb3129

I think that doctors do not have a lot of training in nutrition. 1500 calories is way too few for you, and you are making good progress on your own doing it reasonably. I have a really good doctor that has been supportive of the way I have chose to lose weight(plant based diet). But even he does not seem to know a great deal about details, like exactly how many calories one should be eating to lose weight, etc.

Just keep up the good work. You have made good progress so far, and it sounds like you are doing it in a really sensible, healthy way.

Mgregory723

Congrats to you for making changes. IMO, some doctor's don't get it, so I have to agree with everyone else, find a new doctor. You need that is going to listen to you. Good luck ~ I wish you all the best!

Hoppymom

Good for you making new changes that will move you forward. I am lucky to have a doctor who listens to me and praises my results. It makes all the difference.:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

hovercar

Ugh, I'm so sorry you had that experience. I've had wonderful doctors, and I've had doctors whose incompetence or cruelty just enraged me. I'm going to echo the sentiment on here that you might want to try a different primary care physician.

Also, this reminded me of a really moving TED talk that you might want to watch. In it, a young surgeon tells the story of how he judged an obese young woman for contributing to her own diabetes - and (although the talk is focused mostly on questioning the roots of diabetes) he offers an apology that feels like it's meant for everyone who's ever been fat-shamed by their doctor.

Link: http://www.ted.com/talks/peter_attia_what_if_we_re_wrong_about_diabetes.html

k9runner1963

I think the key thing here is that she's not listening to you. Yes, I'd look for another doctor, one that will look at and listen to you and respond to what you say, not to what's going on in her mind at the time.

^^^ This^^^ time for a new doctor, one that will listen to you and work with you.

Lleldiranne

I agree with everyone else … GPs don't have a lot of training in diet, nutrition, and fitness. She should have referred you to a dietician.

Even more, she should list. Every doctor should listen to their patients. Seriously … this is how misdiagnoses and improper treatments happen. If she isn't listening on this topic, what will happen if something more critical comes up? I would really find a new doctor.

Lastly, congratulations on the changes you've been making and the success you've had. Keep it up! You are amazing!

Pearsquared

Geez, who does she think she is? I absolutely love your attitude about it all - glad it's just exasperating you and not getting you down. My doctor was so happy with my weight loss, he congratulated me both at the beginning and the end of my physical. I think he recognizes his limitations with nutrition. He just said "Keep going" but didn't mention anything specific about what I should be eating or what weight I should be in the end, although we both agreed that I'll be losing more. He cared more that I was getting enough exercise.

FrenchMob

Going to a Dr. for fitness/nutrition is like going to a mechanic to paint your car. Although they both relate to cars, they're totally different specialties.

maybeazure

I agree with changing doctors. I won't go to a doctor who lectures me about weight. Talking to me about it respectfully is one thing, but lecturing is another. I hate it when they point out the obvious, like we don't already KNOW we are overweight, and that being overweight causes health problems. I also hate it when they make it sound like losing weight is the easiest thing in the world, or give out stupid advice. I had one doctor tell me "you just need to stop eating bread," and another one said "just don't eat any dinner."

The thing is that WE probably know more about losing weight than a lot of them do because we are way more focused on it, reading about it, working at it, trying different things, etc.

Buff2022

Oh you are a much better woman than I am. I would of had a fit in there.

After my hysterectomy..at my 6 week check up. I kicked the nurse out of the room. She kept telling me I was going to work with no restrictions. I needed a lifting restriction.

I have not allowed people to draw my blood. If you don't listen to how I want you to treat MY body..then hands off.

You have to stand up for yourself. I am proud of what you have done. Good job and leaving fast food alone is HUGE!

Guinivere

My doctor knows nothing about nutrition either - but is very quick to tell me off when I've put on weight - no offers of referrals to dieticians, nutritionists or personal trainers, just tutting and shaking the head like I'm in blooomin' school.

I did exactly what this brilliant wonderful lady has done and figured out what works for my own body by doing loads of research - talking to people on MFP - working out what's safe to try and what is going to hurt me. I even put myself on a food trial and sicovered I'm intolerant to wheat, lactose and coffee.

Since taking control my IBS has vanished, my stomach ulcer is finally silent and I no longer have insomnia. The doctor is mystified as I don't (and won't) take any medication because of the horrendous side effects.

There is no one-size fits all - I'm haven't reached my goal yet but people around me are already asking what my magic bullet is. They really don't enjoy the answer - self discipline, and zero-tolerance to deviate from my plan. I've never been more focussed, happy and strong. I'm in charge.

Hear me roar! :laugh:

lesspaul

Most family physicians spend about 15 minutes of their medical training on nutrition.

If only my wife had known that, she could have saved hundreds of hours in medical school.

PS: I agree with the consensus. Time for a different doctor.

CyberEd312

When I first set foot in my new family doctors office (I had not went to a doctor in years) at 560 lbs. and he went over my test results which were horrid (type 2 diabetes, low functioning kidneys and liver, etc) and he ask if I wanted weight loss surgery and I told him it was not an option cause I don't believe in it (if I could not fix my mental addiction to food nothing else would work) he told me " I am a family care physician, you come to me with an illness and I can treat you for it but I am not nor will I pretend to know the first thing about weight loss and nutrition. He said he learned the basics but that I need to go to an Endo dr. and start work with a Dietician." he said I can monitor you every 4-6 weeks and make sure we are on track and he would coordinate with them so they were all on the same page... That is why there are experts in there own fields and if you have a good family doctor they should refer you to a specialist that know alittle more or atleast this has been my experience.... Best of Luck

highervibes

I would try and find a doctor that sees you as a human being, not a "fat person". She isn't even listening to you!? New doctor, stat.

MzPix

I see a common problem here. The thinking is completely wrong. You are trying to impress your doctor. We need to turn that around. Your doctor is paid to provide a service. SHE should be trying to impress YOU.
Many people tend to forget this simple fact and need to be tactfully, but assertively, reminded that medical practitioners are not in charge of us or our bodies. They simply provide us with a paid service.

Changing doctors is certainly an option, but not the only option (and for many people it is not a viable option). It took a few years of assertive reminders, but my physician is now well aware of who is in charge of my body and my decisions: me. Sometimes I had to refocus him. You may want to try it. “Thank you for telling me that information about obesity. I was actually already aware of that. But to redirect you back to the professional task at hand, I am here to discuss what exercise options would be safe for a woman my size. Or to get a referral to a professional who might be able to discuss that topic with me.”

My doctor and I don’t have a “friendly” relationship, but we now certainly have a professional and effective one. Which is exactly what I want. I’m not there to get a buddy or a pep squad. I’m there to procure a professional service. I’m also not friends with my waitress, plumber, mechanic or grocer. It is their responsibility to perform their job well and provide me with the service I pay for. It is my job to clearly articulate what service I want and expect, and to pay them in a timely fashion for providing it. Win-win.

You have taken ownership of your body and that is awesomeness. You just have to make sure that your service providers understand that as well.
Because we live in a society that highly empowers the medical field, a large portion of the population actually stroll along through life thinking that is how it must be. Doctors and nurses are daily dealing with patients who have not, cannot, will not, or don’t realize that they are allowed to, take ownership of their bodies. It is easy to start allowing that power one gains as a medical professional to play out in an entitled and condescending manner without even realizing it. We have to sometimes remind THEM of how the power dynamics of the relationship really do (and should) operate.

You are doing great and whether you keep or change your physician, you will continue to do great because you own yourself. Many people will find you very inspiring.

OneDimSim

Ladies, it never ceases to amaze me how the obese get ABUSED!!! your doctor SUCKS.....this is the sort of attitude that keeps fat people fat....instead of applauding you on your efforts and telling you to keep up the good work, she berates you for not STARVING yourself....

And some of the other stories on here...yelling for a higher SCALE??? REALLY????

I am sorry to be so blunt, but this issue really BUGS me...it is what keeps fat people fat b/c they feel like crap about themselves and continue to think they are not worth it. Discrimination alive and well in medicince....CHECK!

And 130.....REALLY? lets make it completely unobtainable....my OB told me anything under a 200 she is happy.....

YOU ARE DOING GOOD GIRL! KEEP IT UP!!!