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The 'mom guilt' therapy thread.

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  • RastaLousGirlRastaLousGirl Posts: 1,750Member Member Posts: 1,750Member Member
    I am guilty of being too busy sometimes. I don't take the time to just sit and talk with them and that is so wrong of me. I don't give them individualized attention. I have 4 of them and they all have their different interests. Sometimes I feel like I don't stop and just enjoy them. We are always rushing between school, work, practice, dinner, homework, cleaning, activities, me doing my homework.....I need to take time out and just let them know how amazed I am to be their mother.

    I completely understand this. When I get home, I always took some me time to unwind from the work day. I made it a habit to put away my devices, take just a moment to unwind, and then just spend quality time with them. I get lucky about dinner, because my husband pitches in and his mother as well. So, we all kind of work together on it.
  • Sunshine_And_SandSunshine_And_Sand Posts: 1,149Member Member Posts: 1,149Member Member
    With my first one, I had HELLP syndrome (an advanced form of pre-eclampsia) and she had to be delivered by c-section almost 12 weeks early. I felt guilty going almost 2 weeks thinking the pain symptoms from the HELLP were gallbladder related bc I happen to have eaten a much higher fat than normal meal the night it all started. I got over that guilt pretty quickly after neither of us died and she got an extra two weeks to develop bc that went undiagnosed so long.
    When she was in the hospital, I felt guilty seeing her have to lay in a plastic box for two months because of something that was wrong with me when she would have otherwise been a perfectly healthy full term baby.
    Every little hiccup that was actually a normal part of being a premie made me feel guilty, again because it was something wrong with me that caused her to be so early. Grade 1 intracranial hemorrhage, being on the ventilator for 6 days, coming home from the hospital on oxygen and a heart/O2Sat monitor, bilateral hernia repair at 11 weeks old, all normal premie things I felt guilty about. She is a normal healthy child now and I sometimes feel guilty for stressing so much about all that instead of being happier about my sweet new little baby back then.
    With my son, I had mixed feelings and didn't want another, even though statistically the chance of the HELLP repeating are low. DH and DD wanted another so bad, so I caved and we have DS. Now, I can't imagine us not having him and feel guilty for waiting so long to have another and also for all the time I spent not wanting another.
    Then there's the should I work or stay home guilt that I think most of us struggle with at least some of the time.
    Mom guilt can be tough.
  • tinak33tinak33 Posts: 8,508Member Member Posts: 8,508Member Member
    Pretty sure this will be a constant struggle that will never, ever, ever end....

    I have realized that this just comes with the territory of loving your child. So you are going to second guess every decision, have guilt over the smallest things, and feel bad over things you can't even control!


    Happy Mother's Day to all the amazing mamas out there. Keep your head up and know your kid is lucky to have a mom who worries and cares about them.
    For me, mom guilt = love <3 It's always wanting to do more and be more for your kid. Always wanting the best, and trying to fix whatever is wrong.


    Also, Happy Mother's Day to all the dads who are being both parents. I know some of you are out there. <3
  • ElC_76ElC_76 Posts: 3,750Member Member Posts: 3,750Member Member
    zet2xohc3igw.jpeg

    Here I am!.. I'm the "worst mum"!.. so there u go!, all other mum's are awesome!💪😉
  • samtarlyonadietsamtarlyonadiet Posts: 944Member Member Posts: 944Member Member
    ElC_76 wrote: »
    zet2xohc3igw.jpeg

    Here I am!.. I'm the "worst mum"!.. so there u go!, all other mum's are awesome!💪😉

    Can you expand on what makes you the worst mom?
  • ElC_76ElC_76 Posts: 3,750Member Member Posts: 3,750Member Member
    ElC_76 wrote: »
    zet2xohc3igw.jpeg

    Here I am!.. I'm the "worst mum"!.. so there u go!, all other mum's are awesome!💪😉

    Can you expand on what makes you the worst mom?

    Haha!, where do I start!.. these are the words I hear. When u hear it alot it's hard not to start believing it.
    I often sit down after dropping them at school and think, "oh!, poor kids, I need learn how to look after them properly. I am a *kitten* mum.
    I spin out too much when I need to chill and chilled when I need to bark.
    I think if I was better mum they'd be better kids.





  • samtarlyonadietsamtarlyonadiet Posts: 944Member Member Posts: 944Member Member
    ElC_76 wrote: »
    ElC_76 wrote: »
    zet2xohc3igw.jpeg

    Here I am!.. I'm the "worst mum"!.. so there u go!, all other mum's are awesome!💪😉

    Can you expand on what makes you the worst mom?

    Haha!, where do I start!.. these are the words I hear. When u hear it alot it's hard not to start believing it.
    I often sit down after dropping them at school and think, "oh!, poor kids, I need learn how to look after them properly. I am a *kitten* mum.
    I spin out too much when I need to chill and chilled when I need to bark.
    I think if I was better mum they'd be better kids.





    I wish I had a mum half as nice as you

  • CoffeeAndContourCoffeeAndContour Posts: 766Member Member Posts: 766Member Member
    ElC_76 wrote: »
    zet2xohc3igw.jpeg

    Here I am!.. I'm the "worst mum"!.. so there u go!, all other mum's are awesome!💪😉

    Chances are if your kids think you’re doing it right then you’re really *kitten* up.
  • ElC_76ElC_76 Posts: 3,750Member Member Posts: 3,750Member Member
    ElC_76 wrote: »
    zet2xohc3igw.jpeg

    Here I am!.. I'm the "worst mum"!.. so there u go!, all other mum's are awesome!💪😉

    Chances are if your kids think you’re doing it right then you’re really *kitten* up.

    I can see your point. 😏🙂
    edited May 11
  • ElC_76ElC_76 Posts: 3,750Member Member Posts: 3,750Member Member
    024v7qgij7og.jpg


    Here's to all mums!

    U mum's deserve this. Even though some of us don't think so. It feel nice to have a special day, sometime we ,or me anyhow , wish the clock would stop when we have good days. Just think, time ticks by, that means our next day is on it way.
    Also the more u care for ppl it mostly comes right back😉
    101% self-care, for 100% for others.

    Much love and blessing for u all!. And even father's or males that take on the mothercare role , same goes!..

    Have the very best day all🌹🌺🌾🤗
  • ElC_76ElC_76 Posts: 3,750Member Member Posts: 3,750Member Member
    I've been slack this weekend. Haven't done any washing, the kids dont have clean school clothes for the morning so now after midnight, I'm staying up washing them.
    Wish we had house maids..😂
  • samtarlyonadietsamtarlyonadiet Posts: 944Member Member Posts: 944Member Member
    tams_89 wrote: »
    My biggest guilt as a Mom and the day that still haunts me :'(
    Getting home from work and finding my baby boy crying as his dad was so high on drugs he could not even speak or stand up.
    After 2 years of emotional abuse that was the day I finally found the strength and took my baby and never looked back. I still have days where I doubt myself but I have 3 amazing kids and I will never stop trying my best for them.

    Hugs to you, mom on this Mothers day
  • ilfaithilfaith Posts: 16,025Member Member Posts: 16,025Member Member
    For Mother's Day I left my kids home with frozen burritos from Trader Joe's while my husband and I had dinner at a fancy Peruvian restaurant. Don't feel particularly guilty, as only one of my boys acknowledged me with so much as a handmade card, and I know he had to make that in art class.
  • slimgirljo15slimgirljo15 Posts: 214,559Member, Premium Member Posts: 214,559Member, Premium Member
    ElC_76 wrote: »
    ElC_76 wrote: »
    zet2xohc3igw.jpeg

    Here I am!.. I'm the "worst mum"!.. so there u go!, all other mum's are awesome!💪😉

    Can you expand on what makes you the worst mom?

    Haha!, where do I start!.. these are the words I hear. When u hear it alot it's hard not to start believing it.
    I often sit down after dropping them at school and think, "oh!, poor kids, I need learn how to look after them properly. I am a *kitten* mum.
    I spin out too much when I need to chill and chilled when I need to bark.
    I think if I was better mum they'd be better kids.





    Hugs E.. just because someone tells you you arent a great parent doesn't make it so.

    Someday, your kids will be grown and become parents and suddenly they'll have a new appreciation of what you actually did.. 🙂
  • ElC_76ElC_76 Posts: 3,750Member Member Posts: 3,750Member Member
    ElC_76 wrote: »
    ElC_76 wrote: »
    zet2xohc3igw.jpeg

    Here I am!.. I'm the "worst mum"!.. so there u go!, all other mum's are awesome!💪😉

    Can you expand on what makes you the worst mom?

    Haha!, where do I start!.. these are the words I hear. When u hear it alot it's hard not to start believing it.
    I often sit down after dropping them at school and think, "oh!, poor kids, I need learn how to look after them properly. I am a *kitten* mum.
    I spin out too much when I need to chill and chilled when I need to bark.
    I think if I was better mum they'd be better kids.





    Hugs E.. just because someone tells you you arent a great parent doesn't make it so.

    Someday, your kids will be grown and become parents and suddenly they'll have a new appreciation of what you actually did.. 🙂

    Thanks Jo, it's hard to imagine being out of the woods while being lost in the middle of it.

    I can see what your saying, it's what happened with me and my parents.
  • isalsayourface123isalsayourface123 Posts: 500Member Member Posts: 500Member Member
    Is this the mom bragging thread...my sons made me eggs and waffles for breakfast on mothers day and halfway cleaned up the mess...oh and a cake. :)
  • rickiimarieeerickiimarieee Posts: 2,146Member Member Posts: 2,146Member Member
    I tried to breastfeed both of my babies but with my first I did just breast, no formula and I cried and cried and cried and hated myself because I was absolutely positive I wasn’t producing enough but the doctor told me otherwise until about he was 3 months and I expressed my concerns because he was still really small and then they finally gave me permission to supplement with formula and the amount of guilt I felt because I couldn’t produce enough milk to feed him and he was pretty much starving. And with my second baby I knew better so I breastfed and bottle fed and I feel breastfeeding creates a very very close bond with your baby and I had to stop breastfeeding him because I was undergoing surgery and didn’t want him to get the nasty medicine in my milk and I dried up anyways and now I don’t have as close as a bond with him as I’d really really like too and it makes me feel so guilty.
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