Have you ever wanted to hit "RESET"?
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I have hit reset...more then once in my life. I've had to abandon what was no longer serving me and start fresh in the wake of my poor decisions and mistakes. There was a time when I was hitting reset daily to cope with past trauma only to find myself in a victim mindset... so I hit reset again and again until I got it right. There are many things in the past I wish I could change, but I cannot.
@caco_ethes ... touching on the topic of mind plasticity, there is an interesting technique called, the pruning sheers of revision.... its basic premise is simple and while it cannot change an actual event, it can help change how one experiences its memory... something to check out if you're into it.2 -
Something else I would like to suggest on this topic is a specific podcast I heard lately - Ben Pakulski's Muscle Expert Podcast : Episode 120 with Dr Rick Hanson regarding the Buddha Brain. Truly interesting perspective discussed with the author about why we focus on negatives and blow past positives.
It is on most podcast players, but here is one:
https://podtail.com/podcast/muscle-expert-podcast-ben-pakulski-interviews/120-dr-rick-hanson-finding-buddha-s-brain/
Totally resonated with me in many ways.1 -
I appreciate the responses. I went through a difficult experience at work a few years ago and had to learn a lot about setting clear boundaries for coworkers (and anyone) as well as refusing to accept responsibility for other people’s feelings when they encroach on those boundaries. It was a very troubling and eye opening experience, and while going through it, a friend loaned me the book ‘Evolve Your Brain’ by Dr Joe Dispenza. After that I also read his book ‘Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself’. They were utterly life changing for me in ways I can’t even verbalize. I no longer recognize the ways that I used to diminish and ingratiate myself to others and wear their feelings like a guilt-ridden lynch. I wish everyone could read these books.3
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caco_ethes wrote: »I appreciate the responses. I went through a difficult experience at work a few years ago and had to learn a lot about setting clear boundaries for coworkers (and anyone) as well as refusing to accept responsibility for other people’s feelings when they encroach on those boundaries. It was a very troubling and eye opening experience, and while going through it, a friend loaned me the book ‘Evolve Your Brain’ by Dr Joe Dispenza. After that I also read his book ‘Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself’. They were utterly life changing for me in ways I can’t even verbalize. I no longer recognize the ways that I used to diminish and ingratiate myself to others and wear their feelings like a guilt-ridden lynch. I wish everyone could read these books.
I will be picking those two up! Thank you for the suggestion!2 -
caco_ethes wrote: »I appreciate the responses. I went through a difficult experience at work a few years ago and had to learn a lot about setting clear boundaries for coworkers (and anyone) as well as refusing to accept responsibility for other people’s feelings when they encroach on those boundaries. It was a very troubling and eye opening experience, and while going through it, a friend loaned me the book ‘Evolve Your Brain’ by Dr Joe Dispenza. After that I also read his book ‘Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself’. They were utterly life changing for me in ways I can’t even verbalize. I no longer recognize the ways that I used to diminish and ingratiate myself to others and wear their feelings like a guilt-ridden lynch. I wish everyone could read these books.
I will be picking those two up! Thank you for the suggestion!
Yuss! They are not exactly light reading but it’s worth it to slog through.0 -
caco_ethes wrote: »caco_ethes wrote: »I appreciate the responses. I went through a difficult experience at work a few years ago and had to learn a lot about setting clear boundaries for coworkers (and anyone) as well as refusing to accept responsibility for other people’s feelings when they encroach on those boundaries. It was a very troubling and eye opening experience, and while going through it, a friend loaned me the book ‘Evolve Your Brain’ by Dr Joe Dispenza. After that I also read his book ‘Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself’. They were utterly life changing for me in ways I can’t even verbalize. I no longer recognize the ways that I used to diminish and ingratiate myself to others and wear their feelings like a guilt-ridden lynch. I wish everyone could read these books.
I will be picking those two up! Thank you for the suggestion!
Yuss! They are not exactly light reading but it’s worth it to slog through.
I am fascinated by brain health and brain function, so I'm sure I'll get through them!
My mother, my grandmother, and my grandfather (dad's side) all have or had versions of dementia.
While I am not worried about dementia for myself at the moment, I have seen very closely and personally what a failing brain looks like. I wonder how much is nutrition based and how much is truly created by our way of thinking and behaving?
One principle I believe in though, because it has 100% worked for me, is the power of being truly grateful and expressing that. It may sound a bit "woo woo", but for me the simple act of being grateful and staying a few more seconds with a positive experience over dwelling on a negative one has reframed my days. I believe there is a lot of work yet to do for me, but I can feel the benefits of it and that is all the motivation I need to keep going with it.
I think I have just hijacked my own thread...🤔
And now back to your regularly scheduled program...😉3 -
caco_ethes wrote: »caco_ethes wrote: »I appreciate the responses. I went through a difficult experience at work a few years ago and had to learn a lot about setting clear boundaries for coworkers (and anyone) as well as refusing to accept responsibility for other people’s feelings when they encroach on those boundaries. It was a very troubling and eye opening experience, and while going through it, a friend loaned me the book ‘Evolve Your Brain’ by Dr Joe Dispenza. After that I also read his book ‘Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself’. They were utterly life changing for me in ways I can’t even verbalize. I no longer recognize the ways that I used to diminish and ingratiate myself to others and wear their feelings like a guilt-ridden lynch. I wish everyone could read these books.
I will be picking those two up! Thank you for the suggestion!
Yuss! They are not exactly light reading but it’s worth it to slog through.
I am fascinated by brain health and brain function, so I'm sure I'll get through them!
My mother, my grandmother, and my grandfather (dad's side) all have or had versions of dementia.
While I am not worried about dementia for myself at the moment, I have seen very closely and personally what a failing brain looks like. I wonder how much is nutrition based and how much is truly created by our way of thinking and behaving?
One principle I believe in though, because it has 100% worked for me, is the power of being truly grateful and expressing that. It may sound a bit "woo woo", but for me the simple act of being grateful and staying a few more seconds with a positive experience over dwelling on a negative one has reframed my days. I believe there is a lot of work yet to do for me, but I can feel the benefits of it and that is all the motivation I need to keep going with it.
I think I have just hijacked my own thread...🤔
And now back to your regularly scheduled program...😉
I’ve always considered the Long Goodbye the most hellish way to go.
So just a side note, I saw this on YouTube recently and found it interesting
https://youtu.be/Ha3JdNofoy8 2 -
Have you been in a place where you wish there was a reset button? Maybe just a few minutes, or maybe many years...rewinding events seems like it could be a good idea, BUT you also lose all the in between moments.
And I don't think it's even as simple as knowing what you know now because as soon as you go back and make a different decision an entirely new path unfolds.
Would you hit "reset" if you could, and how far back?
Me - yes, and 21 years back, just after my youngest son was born.
I believe the bold is why a lot wouldn't reset even if possible. In particular if whatever you wanted to disappear happened before you had children.
Im pretty sure most mothers would brave the pits of hell for their children.
2 -
slimgirljo15 wrote: »Have you been in a place where you wish there was a reset button? Maybe just a few minutes, or maybe many years...rewinding events seems like it could be a good idea, BUT you also lose all the in between moments.
And I don't think it's even as simple as knowing what you know now because as soon as you go back and make a different decision an entirely new path unfolds.
Would you hit "reset" if you could, and how far back?
Me - yes, and 21 years back, just after my youngest son was born.
I believe the bold is why a lot wouldn't reset even if possible. In particular if whatever you wanted to disappear happened before you had children.
Im pretty sure most mothers would brave the pits of hell for their children.
Some dads would too! 😉2 -
caco_ethes wrote: »caco_ethes wrote: »caco_ethes wrote: »I appreciate the responses. I went through a difficult experience at work a few years ago and had to learn a lot about setting clear boundaries for coworkers (and anyone) as well as refusing to accept responsibility for other people’s feelings when they encroach on those boundaries. It was a very troubling and eye opening experience, and while going through it, a friend loaned me the book ‘Evolve Your Brain’ by Dr Joe Dispenza. After that I also read his book ‘Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself’. They were utterly life changing for me in ways I can’t even verbalize. I no longer recognize the ways that I used to diminish and ingratiate myself to others and wear their feelings like a guilt-ridden lynch. I wish everyone could read these books.
I will be picking those two up! Thank you for the suggestion!
Yuss! They are not exactly light reading but it’s worth it to slog through.
I am fascinated by brain health and brain function, so I'm sure I'll get through them!
My mother, my grandmother, and my grandfather (dad's side) all have or had versions of dementia.
While I am not worried about dementia for myself at the moment, I have seen very closely and personally what a failing brain looks like. I wonder how much is nutrition based and how much is truly created by our way of thinking and behaving?
One principle I believe in though, because it has 100% worked for me, is the power of being truly grateful and expressing that. It may sound a bit "woo woo", but for me the simple act of being grateful and staying a few more seconds with a positive experience over dwelling on a negative one has reframed my days. I believe there is a lot of work yet to do for me, but I can feel the benefits of it and that is all the motivation I need to keep going with it.
I think I have just hijacked my own thread...🤔
And now back to your regularly scheduled program...😉
I’ve always considered the Long Goodbye the most hellish way to go.
So just a side note, I saw this on YouTube recently and found it interestinghttps://youtu.be/Ha3JdNofoy8
Fascinating! Thank you for sharing it!0 -
slimgirljo15 wrote: »Have you been in a place where you wish there was a reset button? Maybe just a few minutes, or maybe many years...rewinding events seems like it could be a good idea, BUT you also lose all the in between moments.
And I don't think it's even as simple as knowing what you know now because as soon as you go back and make a different decision an entirely new path unfolds.
Would you hit "reset" if you could, and how far back?
Me - yes, and 21 years back, just after my youngest son was born.
I believe the bold is why a lot wouldn't reset even if possible. In particular if whatever you wanted to disappear happened before you had children.
Im pretty sure most mothers would brave the pits of hell for their children.
Some dads would too! 😉
Lol.. Im a mum so I can only speak from that perspective ☺
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slimgirljo15 wrote: »slimgirljo15 wrote: »Have you been in a place where you wish there was a reset button? Maybe just a few minutes, or maybe many years...rewinding events seems like it could be a good idea, BUT you also lose all the in between moments.
And I don't think it's even as simple as knowing what you know now because as soon as you go back and make a different decision an entirely new path unfolds.
Would you hit "reset" if you could, and how far back?
Me - yes, and 21 years back, just after my youngest son was born.
I believe the bold is why a lot wouldn't reset even if possible. In particular if whatever you wanted to disappear happened before you had children.
Im pretty sure most mothers would brave the pits of hell for their children.
Some dads would too! 😉
Lol.. Im a mum so I can only speak from that perspective ☺
Fair enough! 😁1 -
Bullet_with_Butterfly_Wings wrote: »I have hit reset...more then once in my life. I've had to abandon what was no longer serving me and start fresh in the wake of my poor decisions and mistakes. There was a time when I was hitting reset daily to cope with past trauma only to find myself in a victim mindset... so I hit reset again and again until I got it right. There are many things in the past I wish I could change, but I cannot.
@caco_ethes ... touching on the topic of mind plasticity, there is an interesting technique called, the pruning sheers of revision.... its basic premise is simple and while it cannot change an actual event, it can help change how one experiences its memory... something to check out if you're into it.
I did something similar when I did some trauma therapy a few years ago.1 -
I'd want to go back 6 years. But I don't want the memories I've had to be erased. Just so I can make better choices.2
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I don’t agree with losing a child not shaping your character, I lost my daughter half way through my pregnancy and had to give birth to her knowing she was gone. Her birth was 18 months to the day after I held my grans hand as she passed away. I think the strength that got me through the loss of my daughter although I struggled for a few years with depression because several family members died in a short period but overcoming the grief and keeping going in the dark days helped me to deal with the fight that came with my 2 sons who both have autism. I’ve had to fight for their education and therapies and believe me I’ve had days where I’ve felt I couldn’t go through another day, lack of sleep, challenging behaviour and a husband who works nights mean I’m very much on my own but I pick myself up each day and get on with life. I also lost my mum suddenly last year, she was only 55 and we were so close but I was needed as my dad and brother were struggling so I got up and made the arrangements and sorted everything out. I honestly think that everything I’ve been through has made me resilient to the things I struggled with 10 years ago. I’m always told I’m wise beyond my years but I think that comes from not having it easy. Although I have worries as everyone does, I’m optimistic and truly happy with where I am and the fact I’m still standing. I’ve almost died twice and am truly blessed to be here and be able to watch my children grow.4
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slimgirljo15 wrote: »Have you been in a place where you wish there was a reset button? Maybe just a few minutes, or maybe many years...rewinding events seems like it could be a good idea, BUT you also lose all the in between moments.
And I don't think it's even as simple as knowing what you know now because as soon as you go back and make a different decision an entirely new path unfolds.
Would you hit "reset" if you could, and how far back?
Me - yes, and 21 years back, just after my youngest son was born.
I believe the bold is why a lot wouldn't reset even if possible. In particular if whatever you wanted to disappear happened before you had children.
Im pretty sure most mothers would brave the pits of hell for their children.
Perhaps I am just at a certain stage in life, but I find my girls' excitement about life and various things they do like art and sports to be some of the most rewarding and exciting moments in my own life.
I don't think a personal problem between myself and my wife could ever change that, and I'm sure many people feel the same way.
I imagine at times what my life would be like had I taken a very different path, but I feel like imagining is good enough.
I'm confident that at some point somebody has or will take that particular path, and that one way or the other it will be awesome enough that it's OK for me to have a different path.
You sound like a wonderful dad☺ Your children are very lucky.
In 10 years of netball seasons my ex made 2 games.. 😐
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slimgirljo15 wrote: »slimgirljo15 wrote: »Have you been in a place where you wish there was a reset button? Maybe just a few minutes, or maybe many years...rewinding events seems like it could be a good idea, BUT you also lose all the in between moments.
And I don't think it's even as simple as knowing what you know now because as soon as you go back and make a different decision an entirely new path unfolds.
Would you hit "reset" if you could, and how far back?
Me - yes, and 21 years back, just after my youngest son was born.
I believe the bold is why a lot wouldn't reset even if possible. In particular if whatever you wanted to disappear happened before you had children.
Im pretty sure most mothers would brave the pits of hell for their children.
Perhaps I am just at a certain stage in life, but I find my girls' excitement about life and various things they do like art and sports to be some of the most rewarding and exciting moments in my own life.
I don't think a personal problem between myself and my wife could ever change that, and I'm sure many people feel the same way.
I imagine at times what my life would be like had I taken a very different path, but I feel like imagining is good enough.
I'm confident that at some point somebody has or will take that particular path, and that one way or the other it will be awesome enough that it's OK for me to have a different path.
You sound like a wonderful dad☺ Your children are very lucky.
I need a lot of self-work and personal growth to be at my best...I have a lot of flaws, but I love my little ones. They help me in a great way through showing me a foundation and purpose.
It keeps me from screwing up too badly, I think (hope).
Yours are as well, btw. I have no doubt. And I bet at the right moment your mama bear is really something.
☺ I like to think so.
Lol yes my mama bear was spectacular.
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