OH won’t eat vegetables. Any advice for my own health?

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  • ExistingFish
    ExistingFish Posts: 1,259 Member
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    My husband is happy if I buy him a bag of frozen chicken, flour tortillas, and shredded cheese....he'll just make cheese and chicken "quesadillas" all week every day without me....luckily he doesn't demand much in the "extra shopping" department.

    He cooks me frozen veg when we cook dinner, spices it and dresses it how I like, even if he hates it. I guess I'll put that in the "things I love about DH" column :smile: Every relationship is different though, if you guys are happy with the way things are, I'm sure there are other parts of your relationship that make you smile the same way, you know?
  • 100_PROOF_
    100_PROOF_ Posts: 1,168 Member
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    Thanks for the clarification. It sounds like your issue is more of a logistics issue. I think a few bags of frozen veggies, a bagged salad and a couple pieces of fruit per week might be an easy way for you to have fruit and veggies for yourself that will last a bit and not cost a lot.
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,426 Member
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    I shop once a week for food for my family. I do an online order and go pick it up the next day.
    Everyone in the household has a week to get the foods and drinks they want on the shopping list posted on the refrigerator. If dh wants chips or dd wants canned spaghetti it needs to be on the list just like things I want. I don't make two seperate orders.
    The order is a mix of packaged foods and fresh.
    If we go to the store together to shop we often tear our list in half and dh goes and collects the part he has while I pick up the rest and then we meet up and pay for everything together. Our goal is to get in and out of the store quickly.

    Why is it so hard to buy the different food you two want in the same shopping trip? It just seems like you are making this so much harder on yourself than it needs to be.
  • TonyB0588
    TonyB0588 Posts: 9,520 Member
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    debs_w wrote: »
    My husband won’t eat vegetables. He’s not interested in side salads. He won’t have beans, peas or sweet corn with anything. It’s very frustrating and I don’t want to generate food waste so I eat what he eats. It’s affecting my health and how I feel about me. I’ve tried talking to him about it but he’s not interested. What can I do that’s good for me? I want to not generate food waste or cause an increase in my work load.

    I'm not understanding where the waste would occur. Just cook everything including the healthy stuff you think you need to include. He can eat what he wants and the other stuff is yours.

    What is your approach to mealtimes? Do you plate the food and bring it to the table, or do you each help yourselves from the pot(s)? No need to put things on his plate that he won't eat, but you can still cook enough for yourself and include on your plate.
  • TonyB0588
    TonyB0588 Posts: 9,520 Member
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    debs_w wrote: »
    DancingMoosie wrote: »
    Burgers with burgers? Lol. He doesn't have to shop with you...mine doesn't. Just get what you want. I mostly eat fresh. I find a lot of frozen veggies get mushy.

    He doesn’t have to shop with me but he lives at home and I work away during the week so get home Friday evening and usually leave on a Sunday evening or Monday evening if I can work from home. I have to sort out weekend food and get him set up for the week which he should be capable of doing but it doesn’t happen. Instead he’ll happily get alternating dominos and kebab takeaways.

    What do you mean by "he lives at home"? Does he work? I'm thinking if you're away from home the whole work week, you get to choose what healthy meals you eat on the road, and he gets to choose what he eats at home.
  • Diatonic12
    Diatonic12 Posts: 32,344 Member
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    I reread the original question. It's human nature to cut our loved ones slack with rationalization. You asked for any advice for your own health and It’s affecting my health and how I feel about me. If all is well so be it but you asked and it was clear. I wish you health and wellness in the future. If you can't buy vegetables then you might reassess down the road because it's more confusing and complicated now than it was in the beginning.
  • DomesticKat
    DomesticKat Posts: 565 Member
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    TonyB0588 wrote: »
    debs_w wrote: »
    Thank you for all the comments.

    I probably should have put more background for context. My husband is very lucky with his genes and comes from a family of runners. They’re all very slim and gifted at running so they can eat what they like and vast quantities of it.

    I am not a natural runner and have to pass yearly fitness tests for my work. I work full time (60+ hrs not including travel) while trying to complete 2 Masters courses part time. I don’t have control of my work and can be sent away to various places with a moments notice. It makes it challenging to manage time and it makes it easy to throw money at the challenges faced which is what I don’t want to do.

    I was using sainsburys home delivery but the quality of the fresh fruit and veg was awful. Spinach was only lasting a couple of days. That’s why I then went back to normal shopping but there isn’t a great range or good shelf life. It would be crazy to do 2 different food shops and pay twice for home delivery when we’re under the same roof. Frozen veggie is definitely an option and I did have some in until there was a recall notice due to listeria. That’s where frozen root veg could be a really good option.

    I don’t think it’s control/relationship issue. He’s an idiot male plus the baby of his family so he has never had to learn to compromise/negotiate. The key thing to remember is I can change me but I can’t change him.

    I don't understand why you think you'd be doing two sets of food shopping. Wouldn't it be one set of shopping, with stuff in there for you and other stuff in there to accommodate his taste?

    No, because if I'm understanding correctly, he doesn't let her buy vegetables in the store because he gets impatient with visiting the produce aisle....
  • Butterchop
    Butterchop Posts: 203 Member
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    DomesticKat wrote: »
    TonyB0588 wrote: »
    debs_w wrote: »
    Thank you for all the comments.

    I probably should have put more background for context. My husband is very lucky with his genes and comes from a family of runners. They’re all very slim and gifted at running so they can eat what they like and vast quantities of it.

    I am not a natural runner and have to pass yearly fitness tests for my work. I work full time (60+ hrs not including travel) while trying to complete 2 Masters courses part time. I don’t have control of my work and can be sent away to various places with a moments notice. It makes it challenging to manage time and it makes it easy to throw money at the challenges faced which is what I don’t want to do.

    I was using sainsburys home delivery but the quality of the fresh fruit and veg was awful. Spinach was only lasting a couple of days. That’s why I then went back to normal shopping but there isn’t a great range or good shelf life. It would be crazy to do 2 different food shops and pay twice for home delivery when we’re under the same roof. Frozen veggie is definitely an option and I did have some in until there was a recall notice due to listeria. That’s where frozen root veg could be a really good option.

    I don’t think it’s control/relationship issue. He’s an idiot male plus the baby of his family so he has never had to learn to compromise/negotiate. The key thing to remember is I can change me but I can’t change him.

    I don't understand why you think you'd be doing two sets of food shopping. Wouldn't it be one set of shopping, with stuff in there for you and other stuff in there to accommodate his taste?

    No, because if I'm understanding correctly, he doesn't let her buy vegetables in the store because he gets impatient with visiting the produce aisle....

    But here she is talking about having groceries delivered right? This is kind of confusing really. I don't understand why he can't just feed himself during the week and she feed herself while she is away at work. Then on weekends plan meals together.
  • DancingMoosie
    DancingMoosie Posts: 8,613 Member
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    Yeah, I'm confused by this thread as well. Buy what you want, buy what he wants, it can happen in one trip together or by yourself. If I'm going to the store by myself, my hubby tells me what he wants for the week, and I get what I want. If we go together, we pick our own stuff and can meet at some designated point if it takes us to different areas. If I'm working out of town for the week, I get him some frozen dinners for when I'm gone and he makes sandwiches for lunch. None of it is a big deal, extra expenses or extra trips.
  • TonyB0588
    TonyB0588 Posts: 9,520 Member
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    DomesticKat wrote: »
    TonyB0588 wrote: »
    debs_w wrote: »
    Thank you for all the comments.

    I probably should have put more background for context. My husband is very lucky with his genes and comes from a family of runners. They’re all very slim and gifted at running so they can eat what they like and vast quantities of it.

    I am not a natural runner and have to pass yearly fitness tests for my work. I work full time (60+ hrs not including travel) while trying to complete 2 Masters courses part time. I don’t have control of my work and can be sent away to various places with a moments notice. It makes it challenging to manage time and it makes it easy to throw money at the challenges faced which is what I don’t want to do.

    I was using sainsburys home delivery but the quality of the fresh fruit and veg was awful. Spinach was only lasting a couple of days. That’s why I then went back to normal shopping but there isn’t a great range or good shelf life. It would be crazy to do 2 different food shops and pay twice for home delivery when we’re under the same roof. Frozen veggie is definitely an option and I did have some in until there was a recall notice due to listeria. That’s where frozen root veg could be a really good option.

    I don’t think it’s control/relationship issue. He’s an idiot male plus the baby of his family so he has never had to learn to compromise/negotiate. The key thing to remember is I can change me but I can’t change him.

    I don't understand why you think you'd be doing two sets of food shopping. Wouldn't it be one set of shopping, with stuff in there for you and other stuff in there to accommodate his taste?

    No, because if I'm understanding correctly, he doesn't let her buy vegetables in the store because he gets impatient with visiting the produce aisle....

    There was also a comment about paying twice for home delivery. Couldn't everything be delivered at once instead of "his list" separate from "her list"?
  • DomesticKat
    DomesticKat Posts: 565 Member
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    TonyB0588 wrote: »
    DomesticKat wrote: »
    TonyB0588 wrote: »
    debs_w wrote: »
    Thank you for all the comments.

    I probably should have put more background for context. My husband is very lucky with his genes and comes from a family of runners. They’re all very slim and gifted at running so they can eat what they like and vast quantities of it.

    I am not a natural runner and have to pass yearly fitness tests for my work. I work full time (60+ hrs not including travel) while trying to complete 2 Masters courses part time. I don’t have control of my work and can be sent away to various places with a moments notice. It makes it challenging to manage time and it makes it easy to throw money at the challenges faced which is what I don’t want to do.

    I was using sainsburys home delivery but the quality of the fresh fruit and veg was awful. Spinach was only lasting a couple of days. That’s why I then went back to normal shopping but there isn’t a great range or good shelf life. It would be crazy to do 2 different food shops and pay twice for home delivery when we’re under the same roof. Frozen veggie is definitely an option and I did have some in until there was a recall notice due to listeria. That’s where frozen root veg could be a really good option.

    I don’t think it’s control/relationship issue. He’s an idiot male plus the baby of his family so he has never had to learn to compromise/negotiate. The key thing to remember is I can change me but I can’t change him.

    I don't understand why you think you'd be doing two sets of food shopping. Wouldn't it be one set of shopping, with stuff in there for you and other stuff in there to accommodate his taste?

    No, because if I'm understanding correctly, he doesn't let her buy vegetables in the store because he gets impatient with visiting the produce aisle....

    There was also a comment about paying twice for home delivery. Couldn't everything be delivered at once instead of "his list" separate from "her list"?

    Maybe she needs to hide the evidence from him? Who knows.
  • livingleanlivingclean
    livingleanlivingclean Posts: 11,752 Member
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    I'm confused but for a different reason. Just because someone can "eat what they like" and stay relatively slim doesn't mean they're healthy. Everyone needs nutrients, and if he's training/running a lot he probably needs more than someone who trains less. Do you not suggest he eat well for his health?

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