I want to lose weight but have no willpower.....help!

glitzy73

Hello, I'm new here,

I've just turned 40 and have no willpower to stick at a diet - I start the day full of high hope but then seem to sabotage my healthy eating plans by lunchtime. I love food!!! if I try and cut down portions I get light headed so end up bingeing.

I've only got 20lbs to lose which I know doesn't seem a lot but it's 2 dress sizes, I'm living in elasticated trousers and skirts because I refuse to buy bigger clothes. I really want to lose the weight I just need some help and support, I want to feel good about myself again x

Patti1023

I sympathize, it can be really hard!!! But nobody can make you want to follow any particular eating plan, it has to be something you want to do & are willing to stick with. I'd be happy to encourage you & celebrate any successes, if you want a friend

Personally I recommend you don't cut out the foods you love, just reduce portions, look for lower calorie versions, & find a way to get some exercise in (if you're not already doing that). There are a lot of great recipes in the forums here & there are tons of good websites with good recipes. I've used hungrygirl.com off & on but there are a lot of other good ones.

Leeann1979

Im the exact same!! I have about 20lbs to lose too. I start the day off right, I can usually last till evening, and that's when I ruin everything. Ive had a few good days lately as I am super determined. I refuse to buy clothes too.

I'll add you!

elainecroft

Do one thing at a time and build up good habits. I used to beat myself up for not following all of the rules, which made me want to follow none of them. Now I try to build it up one good habit at a time and do something for a week or two before adding it something else.

For example, you could -

Eat a healthy breakfast - I like greek yogurt with fruit
Workout every day for a week.
Pack your lunch.
Cut out a snack.
Switch soda to tea (start with switching 1 or 2 a day if you are a binge soda drinker like i was - now i am down from 6 a day to 2 a week)

Above all, believe in yourself. You can do it - and be in it for the long haul, which means you don't have to do it all at once.

harleygroomer

we all started somewhere hun!! And we all took it one day at a time. I first took all the crap food out of my diet and replaced it with "natural" and unprocessed food. Then I walked a half mile, then one mile then 2 miles and now I walk 5 miles with no problem and am getting ready to start running. See?? We all started somewhere and it wasn't easy for us either. ONE DAY AT A TIME--ONE GOAL AT A TIME--baby steps and we will walk them with you!!

mike_usmc

What I feel helps is drinking lots of water!! Over the recommended dosage without of course hurting yourself or letting yourself bloat out. lol. This I think makes your stomach and body feel like it has something in it and isn't completely empty. What I've had which helped me in the past was having something small like celery and peanut butter. A great snack and not bad at all on the calorie/carb side.

Darcie45

I'm the same way! I had the worst time getting started. The first two weeks were difficult, and I hate that I'm on a diet feeling while your body goes into shock over the missing sugar and fat. I found a couple of things I can eat for breakfast that leave me satisfied and then I am ok until lunch. around 3 things start getting ugly, so I try to have a snack and get in some more exercise either before or after dinner. You can do it!

lovejulez03

Start small. If you do everything at once, you'll overwhelm yourself - or at least I did! And don't think of it as a diet.. diets are short term. Just experiment with a few things... I'm sure of what time limits you have or what you do during your days.. perhaps start with a 15 minute walk every day or go on youtube and do leslie sansone walk away the pounds and listen your favorite music or watch tv while doing it . Try snacking every 2 to 3 hours inbetween meals.. string cheese, orange, apple, celery and light ranch dip.. just some examples. It's not easy, no matter how much you have to lose. One day at a time I'll add you if you'd like.. we are all in this together!

spuds1316

I go through similar patterns myself of starting the day well and full of enthusiasm and struggling by late afternoon. I find that eating healthier versions of my favourite foods does help and there are some fab recipes on here to use. I just tell myself its a marathon not a sprint and take each day as it comes. Add me as a friend for support if you like.

kingscrown

I felt the same way. My doctor had now suggestions or sympathy. She always said, "Diet AND exercise." I'd diet and figured I'd exercise once I lost some weight. Obviously, I never got there. A year and a half ago I decided that since I never could stick to a diet I'd start from the other directions and exercise. Dieting never made me want to exercise, but exercising made me want to eat more healthy. I still don't diet, but I do control what I eat keeping my choices for the most part healthy.

luckygirl1986

Hi Glitzy,

I am sorry to hear that you are not able to loose weight, we are all here to support and give some motivation. I would suggest you to set a specific calorie goal(talk to a dietitian or your doctor before you decide anything) and start logging in your foods to see what food you can consume and what foods are off limits. One more important point is to never skip meals, once we skip a meal it is more likely we end up eating double the calories at the end of the day. Divide you meals through out the day and keep healthy snacks handy all the time, this really helps us to make a better food choice and skip that donuts/muffins.

I know saying is a lot easier than doing, but I have been a lazy person all my life and now after making these lifestyle changes, I definitely feel more energetic and enthusiastic. I am a real newbie to MFP board and I struggled with the lack of motivation to start a diet or start exercising all my file. But, ever since I started logging my foods and tracking my exercise, I am feeling really good and I am able to control my appetite and stopped mindless eating. I was really surprised when I could happily turn down the donuts offered by my colleague at work, this was really not me. Now I feel I am adapting to those changes and actually enjoying it.

Good Luck,
Lucky

loripav1

Hi, what I suggest is pre planning the foods a day a head of time. This is how I am doing this. I make my menus up the day before so when I go threw out the day I dont have to think about what im going to eat. I eat like a king in the morning with in reason. then at lunch time I eat like a queen then at dinner like a poor person. I use the food pyrmid so I try to make use of all the food groups in my eating threw out the day. I don't drink soda and I really thought I would get a massive head ache because of no caffeen. Ive been doing awsom. I weighed in at the doctors office a week ago monday and weighed in at 274 lbs. then just a few days ago I went and steped on that same scale and went down to 266. Today I joined this sight and I am still needing to lost over 100 lbs. I was getting all that weak and shaking and stuff but if you plan out your stuff, you should feel a whole lot better. My mother has been a big insperation to me with telling me how she lost all her weight when we were little kids. She still is a tiny women from back in the late 70s. She use to weight really heavey when I was a little girl and now she look really good. Hope this has helped you.

trogalicious

.... and have no willpower...

well, there's the problem.

We can tell you tips/tricks/strategies/how-to all day long. If you don't have the will-power to do it, then that's on you... not us.

I really want to lose the weight

No, not yet you don't. When you do, you will. You'll take control. It isn't about support or help or random internet strangers. They aren't gonna be there when you wake up at 3AM and decide to raid the fridge... but guess who is.... you. You will be. Do it for you, when you're ready to.

TeachTheGirl

Find small, achievable goals. Focus on something like getting your 8 glasses of water a day, and then tackle something else, like maybe no snacking between meals or no soda or whatever goal will help you get closer to your end zone.

Willpower IS hard, but if you tackle it in small chunks, it gets easier.

kingscrown

I found out there is no such thing as will power in my life. I needed to find the right combination of behaviors that worked for me. I never would have thought that exercise needed to be number one and dieting is way down the list. Get one thing done exercise. It's like doing dishes no one wants to do it they just need to be done. That's how I treat exercise. I just do it. Then I come home and do the dishes.

3foldchord

Don't cut down to many callories right away. What is your loss set at? 1/2# a week is good, esp if you just have 20# to lose.
mke sure you get enough protein anf good fats- those will help keep you full, less light-headed/dizzy.

part of your problem is willpower, but sounds like part of your problem is gettting the nutrients your body needs. Give your body what it needs to feel energized and maybe the willpower part wiill come more easily.

da_bears10089

.... and have no willpower...

well, there's the problem.

We can tell you tips/tricks/strategies/how-to all day long. If you don't have the will-power to do it, then that's on you... not us.

I really want to lose the weight

This is the best piece of advice I have read regarding support.

No, not yet you don't. When you do, you will. You'll take control. It isn't about support or help or random internet strangers. They aren't gonna be there when you wake up at 3AM and decide to raid the fridge... but guess who is.... you. You will be. Do it for you, when you're ready to.

MaepleT95

Bump

wild_wild_life

Read "How to Have Your Cake and Skinny Jeans Too" by Josie Spinardi. Seriously.

http://www.amazon.com/Have-Your-Skinny-Jeans-ebook/dp/B00B9JKNBC

Willpower doesn't work anyway.

AglaeaC

Will power doesn't matter, it's about consistent determination. When you think about food, do you know what is healthier than other choices? Do you make meal plans to support you through a week or so? Meal planning is an incredible tool, if it is possible for you to plan for a week at a time, because you bring only what is necessary from the grocery store and have to focus only on a day at a time, the meals for that day. Do you eat your own lunches or buy ready-made?

Someone mentioned habits and I agree. What do you feel needs to be changed most acutely? Pick that and work mainly on that aspect of your lifestyle change, then create habit after habit in the same manner. Learn to use the tools here and read the forum. Consistent determination

Expect days when things are challenging or you will be disappointed when facing such a day. If a day goes smoothly, it's a bonus. Be prepared to recommit every day. And focus on only one day at a time. Slow and steady wins the race.

cbluna

Okay, I know this seems counter-intuitive, and it's bad to reward yourself with food, and all of that...but the thing that makes me stick to my calorie goal all day is to pre-log 2 squares of high-end dark chocolate for the VERY end of the day right before bed. I only get them if I've stayed on plan the rest of the day. Somehow, knowing that they are there waiting, is enough to keep my willpower working the rest of the day. I also draw a smiley on my calendar for the days I stayed within my goal...super-silly, but I really don't like seeing the days with the "x's" through them instead of the smiley.

spuds1316

I go through similar patterns myself of starting the day well and full of enthusiasm and struggling by late afternoon. I find that eating healthier versions of my favourite foods does help and there are some fab recipes on here to use. I just tell myself its a marathon not a sprint and take each day as it comes. Add me as a friend for support if you like.

rieann84

Open up your diary to get better help. If you wreck everything by lunchtime, make sure you get a hearty breakfast, snacks in hand and PLAN ahead for lunch!! Not going to lie..if you're used to eating large amounts of food and you cut down your portions, you might feel a bit hungry. Half the time that crap is just in your head out of habit and you are not ACTUALLY hungry & needing food. You shouldn't be light-headed! Check the forums for calorie recommendations and make sure you are getting everything you need.

I hear you on willpower. I get complacent and tell myself that it's "not that bad" but guess what, it IS! I got a swift kick in the *kitten* when I saw a picture of myself in a dress I THOUGHT I looked okay in. Maybe get on your swimsuit to take some before pictures and have a good look at yourself. Is that what you want to look like? Are you going to settle for that?? Hell NO..you deserve better! Be healthy, good luck

LoseWithLaurie

First of all, I can relate. I HAVE BEEN THERE!!!

Secondly, your ENTIRE problem is that you do NOT want it bad enough. Period.
There are no tips or tricks that will somehow make you want it enough to commit to it. It's committing 27/4 to your long term goal, versus stuffing your face and no one here can help you with that, as has already been pointed out.



All the sugar-coatery in the world won't help you want this....when you're ready, you will do it.

I hope this helps, because it sincerely is intended to.
Make it happen!!!

_HeartsOnFire_

.... and have no willpower...

well, there's the problem.

We can tell you tips/tricks/strategies/how-to all day long. If you don't have the will-power to do it, then that's on you... not us.

I really want to lose the weight

This is the best piece of advice I have read regarding support.

No, not yet you don't. When you do, you will. You'll take control. It isn't about support or help or random internet strangers. They aren't gonna be there when you wake up at 3AM and decide to raid the fridge... but guess who is.... you. You will be. Do it for you, when you're ready to.

CrazyTrackLady

.... and have no willpower...

well, there's the problem.

We can tell you tips/tricks/strategies/how-to all day long. If you don't have the will-power to do it, then that's on you... not us.

I really want to lose the weight

No, not yet you don't. When you do, you will. You'll take control. It isn't about support or help or random internet strangers. They aren't gonna be there when you wake up at 3AM and decide to raid the fridge... but guess who is.... you. You will be. Do it for you, when you're ready to.

^^This, plus "suck it up, buttercup".

trogalicious

So

Will power doesn't matter, it's about consistent determination.

and

Meal planning is an incredible tool, if it is possible for you to plan for a week at a time, because you bring only what is necessary from the grocery store and have to focus only on a day at a time, the meals for that day.

don't match.


If the OP has no will power and can't be determined enough to stick to what they plan for a day (as they admit) then planning for a week isn't going to help...

...without having the will-power to do so. Again, we can give the OP tips all day. Until they decide that they're worth making the change for, it isn't going to be useful to them.

Same with telling someone to reading the book about cake and skinny jeans... we can just tell the OP "Hey OP, just figure out how much you need to eat and do that." But that wouldn't work, right? No. It wouldn't. They have to hold themselves accountable. Hell, admitting that they have no willpower was the dead giveaway for me. They aren't ready for change, they made that point in their first post.

glitzy73

Thank you all for the advice - I think it's true that I get overwhelmed so making one change at a time is the best way forward, I've always been an all or nothing person and I think that it would be easier for my body to cope with small changes rather than go from feast to famine!

One Day at a Time is also a great mantra and with two recovering addicts in my immediate family you'd think it would be second nature for me to live by that rule, but my dad has achieved 35 years sobriety by having the support in the meetings. Hopefully having the support here will help me. Frustratingly, I've gained and lost the same weight twice before - I know I can do it!

Thank you again!

Ps I'm in the UK - I'm sure if I did feel tempted to get up and raid the fridge a 3am that there would be somebody online to chat to in a different time zone?

AglaeaC

So

Will power doesn't matter, it's about consistent determination.

and

Meal planning is an incredible tool, if it is possible for you to plan for a week at a time, because you bring only what is necessary from the grocery store and have to focus only on a day at a time, the meals for that day.

don't match.


If the OP has no will power and can't be determined enough to stick to what they plan for a day (as they admit) then planning for a week isn't going to help...

...without having the will-power to do so. Again, we can give the OP tips all day. Until they decide that they're worth making the change for, it isn't going to be useful to them.

Same with telling someone to reading the book about cake and skinny jeans... we can just tell the OP "Hey OP, just figure out how much you need to eat and do that." But that wouldn't work, right? No. It wouldn't. They have to hold themselves accountable. Hell, admitting that they have no willpower was the dead giveaway for me. They aren't ready for change, they made that point in their first post.

Did it occur to you that OP connects the word will-power to something negative right now? There's no need to dissect my writing to her, because clearly you and I don't view the situation from the same perspective.

Apacheskicass

I am with you! I have started and stopped to many times. I always seem to eat late at night when I go to bed! Finally I am back and MFP has been a great help and I am always looking for new friends so add me if you want and we can help each other!

trogalicious

Did it occur to you that OP connects the word will-power to something negative right now? There's no need to dissect my writing to her, because clearly you and I don't view the situation from the same perspective.

Sure did. That's her problem. It is a negative thing. She doesn't want change bad enough to enforce it. As far as dissecting your advice, that's fine. I just don't understand how you can magically tell someone "hey, just do it" since they said "I can't do it since I don't really have control." Telling someone to plan meals is FANTASTIC advice, if their capable of making the change in their behavior to match it.

...buuuuut they start off with saying that they aren't capable of will-power...

..sooo... yeah...