What are you BAD at?
Replies
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natty_or_not wrote: »If the relationship is bad/abusive why stick around? I don't understand why you would. What do you see in your partner? A rematch?
If it were that simple it would not have taken me 10 years to get out. Nothing is black and white5 -
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Not coming across as a complete *kitten* on forums...oh wait...4
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natty_or_not wrote: »Enlighten me. Not to sound like a jerk – but I really would like to hear why you can't just walk away.
Firstly I believed him when he said he is not the type of man who hurts a woman.... Every time he hurt me. I forgave him until it escalated to the unforgivable. Secondly, I thought that my children were better off having their father around, regardless of how he treated me. Thirdly, I figured I was a black belt, I could take a bit of beating. Fourthly I started to believe him when he told me I was worthless and I deserved it..... I could go on, but fifthly sounds weird7 -
Versicolour wrote: »
Firstly I believed him when he said he is not the type of man who hurts a woman.... Every time he hurt me. I forgave him until it escalated to the unforgivable. Secondly, I thought that my children were better off having their father around, regardless of how he treated me. Thirdly, I figured I was a black belt, I could take a bit of beating. Fourthly I started to believe him when he told me I was worthless and I deserved it..... I could go on, but fifthly sounds weird
You're a blackbelt? Dammit. I AM gonna need the chloroform.3 -
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natty_or_not wrote: »
And if the relationship is only four months in, neither party is married and they are not pregnant together? Is there any reason to stay at that point? And thank you for your honesty by the way.
A lot of times abusive people will not reveal their whole psychosis until several months to years after the relationship starts. In a borderline relationship sometimes it is small things that you ignore (my case) and over time it gets worse and worse. You marry them thinking it will relieve their anxiety, you have kids with them, and each step in the direction ties you down more and also beats you further into submission to their madness.4 -
Versicolour wrote: »natty_or_not wrote: »Versicolour wrote: »natty_or_not wrote: »AgainWithTheSurfyPants wrote: »natty_or_not wrote: »AgainWithTheSurfyPants wrote: »Relationships.
Don't play victimhood with the narrative of "I'm bad at relationships."
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2xKXLPuju8U
Really? Victimhood.
Is it victimhood when say, someone treats another in a relationship badly, is often reactionary, accusatory and abusive but always uses the fallback narrative "sorry babe, I had a bad upbringing" as justification?
Why blame yourself as "bad at relationships" ?
If the relationship is bad/abusive why stick around? I don't understand why you would. What do you see in your partner? A rematch?
If it were that simple it would not have taken me 10 years to get out. Nothing is black and white
Enlighten me. Not to sound like a jerk – but I really would like to hear why you can't just walk away.
Firstly I believed him when he said he is not the type of man who hurts a woman.... Every time he hurt me. I forgave him until it escalated to the unforgivable. Secondly, I thought that my children were better off having their father around, regardless of how he treated me. Thirdly, I figured I was a black belt, I could take a bit of beating. Fourthly I started to believe him when he told me I was worthless and I deserved it..... I could go on, but fifthly sounds weird
You're a blackbelt? Dammit. I AM gonna need the chloroform.
😂 There's easier ways than chloroform!!natty_or_not wrote: »Versicolour wrote: »natty_or_not wrote: »Versicolour wrote: »natty_or_not wrote: »AgainWithTheSurfyPants wrote: »natty_or_not wrote: »AgainWithTheSurfyPants wrote: »Relationships.
Don't play victimhood with the narrative of "I'm bad at relationships."https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2xKXLPuju8U
Really? Victimhood.
Is it victimhood when say, someone treats another in a relationship badly, is often reactionary, accusatory and abusive but always uses the fallback narrative "sorry babe, I had a bad upbringing" as justification?
Why blame yourself as "bad at relationships" ?
If the relationship is bad/abusive why stick around? I don't understand why you would. What do you see in your partner? A rematch?
If it were that simple it would not have taken me 10 years to get out. Nothing is black and white
Enlighten me. Not to sound like a jerk – but I really would like to hear why you can't just walk away.
Firstly I believed him when he said he is not the type of man who hurts a woman.... Every time he hurt me. I forgave him until it escalated to the unforgivable. Secondly, I thought that my children were better off having their father around, regardless of how he treated me. Thirdly, I figured I was a black belt, I could take a bit of beating. Fourthly I started to believe him when he told me I was worthless and I deserved it..... I could go on, but fifthly sounds weird
And if the relationship is only four months in, neither party is married and they are not pregnant together? Is there any reason to stay at that point? And thank you for your honesty by the way.
Every situation is different. But I will add that this all started about 4 months in. Subtly and slowly. I should have seen the warning flags but I didn't because I believed I was "in love". Gaslighting, emotional manipulation and pathological lying are not so easy to spot for some1 -
Expressing myself to the people I love.6
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Not having adult beverages on the weekends.2
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Staying focused on forum topics. A lot of times I get side tracked, like thinking about beer. Not that talking about beer is bad because who doesn't like a good IPA, Stout, Ale or what not. I mean, there are some beers that I don't like, but mostly it is the balance of flavor in it, kinda like when you serve the wrong sides with food. I mean, a PBJ sandwhich with sardines isn't really well matched. I eat fish and all too, and I actually love fishing even. I just setup my son this week for his first offcial tackle box, which was a really proud papa moment. I gave him some of my favorite lures, and even some of my Dad's (gradpas) tackle. Not the Heddon collectable ones, but some decent ones at that.
But yeah...sometimes I amd just bad at satying focused in these forums.2 -
Staying focused on forum topics. A lot of times I get side tracked, like thinking about beer. Not that talking about beer is bad because who doesn't like a good IPA, Stout, Ale or what not. I mean, there are some beers that I don't like, but mostly it is the balance of flavor in it, kinda like when you serve the wrong sides with food. I mean, a PBJ sandwhich with sardines isn't really well matched. I eat fish and all too, and I actually love fishing even. I just setup my son this week for his first offcial tackle box, which was a really proud papa moment. I gave him some of my favorite lures, and even some of my Dad's (gradpas) tackle. Not the Heddon collectable ones, but some decent ones at that.
But yeah...sometimes I amd just bad at satying focused in these forums.
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Pour_Decisions wrote: »Staying focused on forum topics. A lot of times I get side tracked, like thinking about beer. Not that talking about beer is bad because who doesn't like a good IPA, Stout, Ale or what not. I mean, there are some beers that I don't like, but mostly it is the balance of flavor in it, kinda like when you serve the wrong sides with food. I mean, a PBJ sandwhich with sardines isn't really well matched. I eat fish and all too, and I actually love fishing even. I just setup my son this week for his first offcial tackle box, which was a really proud papa moment. I gave him some of my favorite lures, and even some of my Dad's (gradpas) tackle. Not the Heddon collectable ones, but some decent ones at that.
But yeah...sometimes I amd just bad at satying focused in these forums.
Right. I actually read the whole thing and got sidetracked myself.2 -
I’m bad at remembering roads and directions and getting things done ahead of time (procrastinator)0
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natty_or_not wrote: »AgainWithTheSurfyPants wrote: »Relationships.
LOL.
After all of what was said above - what am I bad at?........ relationships
No worries. Clearly I am not as good at them as I thought I was0 -
Remember who is who on MFP, with people poofing and coming back or changing names and stuff. And then those with several accounts really mess things up.3
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Speling1
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worrying about things0
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natty_or_not wrote: »Versicolour wrote: »Versicolour wrote: »natty_or_not wrote: »Versicolour wrote: »natty_or_not wrote: »AgainWithTheSurfyPants wrote: »natty_or_not wrote: »AgainWithTheSurfyPants wrote: »Relationships.
Don't play victimhood with the narrative of "I'm bad at relationships."https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2xKXLPuju8U
Really? Victimhood.
Is it victimhood when say, someone treats another in a relationship badly, is often reactionary, accusatory and abusive but always uses the fallback narrative "sorry babe, I had a bad upbringing" as justification?
Why blame yourself as "bad at relationships" ?
If the relationship is bad/abusive why stick around? I don't understand why you would. What do you see in your partner? A rematch?
If it were that simple it would not have taken me 10 years to get out. Nothing is black and white
Enlighten me. Not to sound like a jerk – but I really would like to hear why you can't just walk away.
Firstly I believed him when he said he is not the type of man who hurts a woman.... Every time he hurt me. I forgave him until it escalated to the unforgivable. Secondly, I thought that my children were better off having their father around, regardless of how he treated me. Thirdly, I figured I was a black belt, I could take a bit of beating. Fourthly I started to believe him when he told me I was worthless and I deserved it..... I could go on, but fifthly sounds weird
You're a blackbelt? Dammit. I AM gonna need the chloroform.
😂 There's easier ways than chloroform!!natty_or_not wrote: »Versicolour wrote: »natty_or_not wrote: »Versicolour wrote: »natty_or_not wrote: »AgainWithTheSurfyPants wrote: »natty_or_not wrote: »AgainWithTheSurfyPants wrote: »Relationships.
Don't play victimhood with the narrative of "I'm bad at relationships."https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2xKXLPuju8U
Really? Victimhood.
Is it victimhood when say, someone treats another in a relationship badly, is often reactionary, accusatory and abusive but always uses the fallback narrative "sorry babe, I had a bad upbringing" as justification?
Why blame yourself as "bad at relationships" ?
If the relationship is bad/abusive why stick around? I don't understand why you would. What do you see in your partner? A rematch?
If it were that simple it would not have taken me 10 years to get out. Nothing is black and white
Enlighten me. Not to sound like a jerk – but I really would like to hear why you can't just walk away.
Firstly I believed him when he said he is not the type of man who hurts a woman.... Every time he hurt me. I forgave him until it escalated to the unforgivable. Secondly, I thought that my children were better off having their father around, regardless of how he treated me. Thirdly, I figured I was a black belt, I could take a bit of beating. Fourthly I started to believe him when he told me I was worthless and I deserved it..... I could go on, but fifthly sounds weird
And if the relationship is only four months in, neither party is married and they are not pregnant together? Is there any reason to stay at that point? And thank you for your honesty by the way.
Every situation is different. But I will add that this all started about 4 months in. Subtly and slowly. I should have seen the warning flags but I didn't because I believed I was "in love". Gaslighting, emotional manipulation and pathological lying are not so easy to spot for some
About the gaslighting you mentioned. The term is relatively new to me but I looked it up. Someone telling you the most horrible things about yourself until you finally start believing them. What an awful thing to go through. This may be hypocritical of me to talk about since I have not exactly been living in line with the Christian faith, but I believe the living God is who He says He is. And that even though I am evil - He is still good. So on that note I believe Jesus Christ can clear up the mist that sometimes blinds us.
1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.
2 The same was in the beginning with God.
3 All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made.
4 In him was life; and the life was the light of men.
5 And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not.
6 There was a man sent from God, whose name was John.
7 The same came for a witness, to bear witness of the Light, that all men through him might believe.
8 He was not that Light, but was sent to bear witness of that Light.
9 That was the true Light, which lighteth every man that cometh into the world.
10 He was in the world, and the world was made by him, and the world knew him not.
11 He came unto his own, and his own received him not.
12 But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name:
13 Which were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God.
14 And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us, (and we beheld his glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father,) full of grace and truth.
- John 1 - 14
I believe when the daylight of truth springs forth in a person's heart, the gaslight of so much of the deceit in this world dissolves away.
Jesus Christ also said "if you continue in my word, then you are my disciples indeed. And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free."
I know this to be truth because I experienced it at one point in my life.
This is exactly how I eventually got out. I also believe there is a reason I am alive today, and it is nothing short of divine intervention. I may not be perfect, but I at least don't claim to be0 -
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natty_or_not wrote: »Versicolour wrote: »natty_or_not wrote: »Versicolour wrote: »Versicolour wrote: »natty_or_not wrote: »Versicolour wrote: »natty_or_not wrote: »AgainWithTheSurfyPants wrote: »natty_or_not wrote: »AgainWithTheSurfyPants wrote: »Relationships.
Don't play victimhood with the narrative of "I'm bad at relationships."https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2xKXLPuju8U
Really? Victimhood.
Is it victimhood when say, someone treats another in a relationship badly, is often reactionary, accusatory and abusive but always uses the fallback narrative "sorry babe, I had a bad upbringing" as justification?
Why blame yourself as "bad at relationships" ?
If the relationship is bad/abusive why stick around? I don't understand why you would. What do you see in your partner? A rematch?
If it were that simple it would not have taken me 10 years to get out. Nothing is black and white
Enlighten me. Not to sound like a jerk – but I really would like to hear why you can't just walk away.
Firstly I believed him when he said he is not the type of man who hurts a woman.... Every time he hurt me. I forgave him until it escalated to the unforgivable. Secondly, I thought that my children were better off having their father around, regardless of how he treated me. Thirdly, I figured I was a black belt, I could take a bit of beating. Fourthly I started to believe him when he told me I was worthless and I deserved it..... I could go on, but fifthly sounds weird
You're a blackbelt? Dammit. I AM gonna need the chloroform.
😂 There's easier ways than chloroform!!natty_or_not wrote: »Versicolour wrote: »natty_or_not wrote: »Versicolour wrote: »natty_or_not wrote: »AgainWithTheSurfyPants wrote: »natty_or_not wrote: »AgainWithTheSurfyPants wrote: »Relationships.
Don't play victimhood with the narrative of "I'm bad at relationships."https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2xKXLPuju8U
Really? Victimhood.
Is it victimhood when say, someone treats another in a relationship badly, is often reactionary, accusatory and abusive but always uses the fallback narrative "sorry babe, I had a bad upbringing" as justification?
Why blame yourself as "bad at relationships" ?
If the relationship is bad/abusive why stick around? I don't understand why you would. What do you see in your partner? A rematch?
If it were that simple it would not have taken me 10 years to get out. Nothing is black and white
Enlighten me. Not to sound like a jerk – but I really would like to hear why you can't just walk away.
Firstly I believed him when he said he is not the type of man who hurts a woman.... Every time he hurt me. I forgave him until it escalated to the unforgivable. Secondly, I thought that my children were better off having their father around, regardless of how he treated me. Thirdly, I figured I was a black belt, I could take a bit of beating. Fourthly I started to believe him when he told me I was worthless and I deserved it..... I could go on, but fifthly sounds weird
And if the relationship is only four months in, neither party is married and they are not pregnant together? Is there any reason to stay at that point? And thank you for your honesty by the way.
Every situation is different. But I will add that this all started about 4 months in. Subtly and slowly. I should have seen the warning flags but I didn't because I believed I was "in love". Gaslighting, emotional manipulation and pathological lying are not so easy to spot for some
About the gaslighting you mentioned. The term is relatively new to me but I looked it up. Someone telling you the most horrible things about yourself until you finally start believing them. What an awful thing to go through. This may be hypocritical of me to talk about since I have not exactly been living in line with the Christian faith, but I believe the living God is who He says He is. And that even though I am evil - He is still good. So on that note I believe Jesus Christ can clear up the mist that sometimes blinds us.
1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.
2 The same was in the beginning with God.
3 All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made.
4 In him was life; and the life was the light of men.
5 And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not.
6 There was a man sent from God, whose name was John.
7 The same came for a witness, to bear witness of the Light, that all men through him might believe.
8 He was not that Light, but was sent to bear witness of that Light.
9 That was the true Light, which lighteth every man that cometh into the world.
10 He was in the world, and the world was made by him, and the world knew him not.
11 He came unto his own, and his own received him not.
12 But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name:
13 Which were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God.
14 And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us, (and we beheld his glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father,) full of grace and truth.
- John 1 - 14
I believe when the daylight of truth springs forth in a person's heart, the gaslight of so much of the deceit in this world dissolves away.
Jesus Christ also said "if you continue in my word, then you are my disciples indeed. And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free."
I know this to be truth because I experienced it at one point in my life.
This is exactly how I eventually got out. I also believe there is a reason I am alive today, and it is nothing short of divine intervention. I may not be perfect, but I at least don't claim to be
Phew. I'm just glad you didn't take the defensive but also attack me for being a religious nutcase.
🤗 I like nutcases. Birds of a feather and all that0 -
Waiting patiently.0
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natty_or_not wrote: »Versicolour wrote: »Versicolour wrote: »natty_or_not wrote: »Versicolour wrote: »natty_or_not wrote: »AgainWithTheSurfyPants wrote: »natty_or_not wrote: »AgainWithTheSurfyPants wrote: »Relationships.
Don't play victimhood with the narrative of "I'm bad at relationships."https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2xKXLPuju8U
Really? Victimhood.
Is it victimhood when say, someone treats another in a relationship badly, is often reactionary, accusatory and abusive but always uses the fallback narrative "sorry babe, I had a bad upbringing" as justification?
Why blame yourself as "bad at relationships" ?
If the relationship is bad/abusive why stick around? I don't understand why you would. What do you see in your partner? A rematch?
If it were that simple it would not have taken me 10 years to get out. Nothing is black and white
Enlighten me. Not to sound like a jerk – but I really would like to hear why you can't just walk away.
Firstly I believed him when he said he is not the type of man who hurts a woman.... Every time he hurt me. I forgave him until it escalated to the unforgivable. Secondly, I thought that my children were better off having their father around, regardless of how he treated me. Thirdly, I figured I was a black belt, I could take a bit of beating. Fourthly I started to believe him when he told me I was worthless and I deserved it..... I could go on, but fifthly sounds weird
You're a blackbelt? Dammit. I AM gonna need the chloroform.
😂 There's easier ways than chloroform!!natty_or_not wrote: »Versicolour wrote: »natty_or_not wrote: »Versicolour wrote: »natty_or_not wrote: »AgainWithTheSurfyPants wrote: »natty_or_not wrote: »AgainWithTheSurfyPants wrote: »Relationships.
Don't play victimhood with the narrative of "I'm bad at relationships."https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2xKXLPuju8U
Really? Victimhood.
Is it victimhood when say, someone treats another in a relationship badly, is often reactionary, accusatory and abusive but always uses the fallback narrative "sorry babe, I had a bad upbringing" as justification?
Why blame yourself as "bad at relationships" ?
If the relationship is bad/abusive why stick around? I don't understand why you would. What do you see in your partner? A rematch?
If it were that simple it would not have taken me 10 years to get out. Nothing is black and white
Enlighten me. Not to sound like a jerk – but I really would like to hear why you can't just walk away.
Firstly I believed him when he said he is not the type of man who hurts a woman.... Every time he hurt me. I forgave him until it escalated to the unforgivable. Secondly, I thought that my children were better off having their father around, regardless of how he treated me. Thirdly, I figured I was a black belt, I could take a bit of beating. Fourthly I started to believe him when he told me I was worthless and I deserved it..... I could go on, but fifthly sounds weird
And if the relationship is only four months in, neither party is married and they are not pregnant together? Is there any reason to stay at that point? And thank you for your honesty by the way.
Every situation is different. But I will add that this all started about 4 months in. Subtly and slowly. I should have seen the warning flags but I didn't because I believed I was "in love". Gaslighting, emotional manipulation and pathological lying are not so easy to spot for some
About the gaslighting you mentioned. The term is relatively new to me but I looked it up. Someone telling you the most horrible things about yourself until you finally start believing them. What an awful thing to go through. This may be hypocritical of me to talk about since I have not exactly been living in line with the Christian faith, but I believe the living God is who He says He is. And that even though I am evil - He is still good. So on that note I believe Jesus Christ can clear up the mist that sometimes blinds us.
1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.
2 The same was in the beginning with God.
3 All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made.
4 In him was life; and the life was the light of men.
5 And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not.
6 There was a man sent from God, whose name was John.
7 The same came for a witness, to bear witness of the Light, that all men through him might believe.
8 He was not that Light, but was sent to bear witness of that Light.
9 That was the true Light, which lighteth every man that cometh into the world.
10 He was in the world, and the world was made by him, and the world knew him not.
11 He came unto his own, and his own received him not.
12 But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name:
13 Which were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God.
14 And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us, (and we beheld his glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father,) full of grace and truth.
- John 1 - 14
I believe when the daylight of truth springs forth in a person's heart, the gaslight of so much of the deceit in this world dissolves away.
Jesus Christ also said "if you continue in my word, then you are my disciples indeed. And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free."
I know this to be truth because I experienced it at one point in my life.
Just peaking my head in here bc I saw the word “gaslighting”. Yes it’s very real and it is a horrible thing to experience.0 -
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finishing a drink I poured for myself or opened. I'll walk away and leave it on my desk, in the kitchen. Later, I'll find it and have to dispose of it.
putting myself first and allotting time to do things I enjoy.0
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