Envy Problems

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  • dsboohead
    dsboohead Posts: 1,900 Member
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    braewe wrote: »
    Fortunately for me I DO like chicken and broccoli. And asparagus and brussel sprouts and cauliflower. Buuuuuut I also like most of these with those oh so rich and yummy sauces. Still experimenting with healthier but still yummy alternatives. I grew this large, I think, by just eating too much of everything. I also went from a rigorous exercise regime (swam oodles of laps every day before my shift in the Air Force) and when I had my children I just ... stopped. The kiddos are grown now but I've never returned to exercising. Beginning to get arthritis so knees/ankles/joints really do NOT take to running.

    Starting a slowish walking program now just to get moving, and digging out the weights to work those in.

    Well you are well on your way......get rid of the envy though!
  • ohcobblers
    ohcobblers Posts: 52 Member
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    I have the envy problem too. Someone up there said "you have found the problem with the buddy system"... I have. My husband only needs to lose 65 lbs I want to lose 85. He gets almost 2300 a day, I only get 1400. When we go on a four hour hike his Garmin gives him 1300 extra calories, mine gives me 1000. So why is being female so bad? Yes, I envy him. He told me last night that he's going to start eating more at lunch so it doesn't look like he gets to eat more than me while we are at home (we are only together at dinner - we both work full time). And while I appreciate the sentiment... I almost wish he hadn't told me. :p
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,868 Member
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    I cook mostly and eat out only occasionally...my food is much better than what many restaurants can provide...it's certainly better than anything at Denny's. Your grilled chicken and asparagus sounds much more appetizing to me than anything I can think of at Denny's.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,868 Member
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    ohcobblers wrote: »
    I have the envy problem too. Someone up there said "you have found the problem with the buddy system"... I have. My husband only needs to lose 65 lbs I want to lose 85. He gets almost 2300 a day, I only get 1400. When we go on a four hour hike his Garmin gives him 1300 extra calories, mine gives me 1000. So why is being female so bad? Yes, I envy him. He told me last night that he's going to start eating more at lunch so it doesn't look like he gets to eat more than me while we are at home (we are only together at dinner - we both work full time). And while I appreciate the sentiment... I almost wish he hadn't told me. :p

    It's all relative though. I cut weight on about 2300-2500 calories and my wife will make comments in regards to how lucky I am...but I'm used to eating 2800-3000 to maintain my weight, so it's just as "painful" for me to cut to 2300-2500 as it is for her to cut from her maintenance of 2300 to 1700/1800.
  • pinuplove
    pinuplove Posts: 12,874 Member
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    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    ohcobblers wrote: »
    I have the envy problem too. Someone up there said "you have found the problem with the buddy system"... I have. My husband only needs to lose 65 lbs I want to lose 85. He gets almost 2300 a day, I only get 1400. When we go on a four hour hike his Garmin gives him 1300 extra calories, mine gives me 1000. So why is being female so bad? Yes, I envy him. He told me last night that he's going to start eating more at lunch so it doesn't look like he gets to eat more than me while we are at home (we are only together at dinner - we both work full time). And while I appreciate the sentiment... I almost wish he hadn't told me. :p

    It's all relative though. I cut weight on about 2300-2500 calories and my wife will make comments in regards to how lucky I am...but I'm used to eating 2800-3000 to maintain my weight, so it's just as "painful" for me to cut to 2300-2500 as it is for her to cut from her maintenance of 2300 to 1700/1800.

    Eh, I'd say yes and no. The lower calorie allowance is definitely more restrictive when it comes to having room to fit in meals out, treats, and the like. Especially at 1400 calories.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,868 Member
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    pinuplove wrote: »
    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    ohcobblers wrote: »
    I have the envy problem too. Someone up there said "you have found the problem with the buddy system"... I have. My husband only needs to lose 65 lbs I want to lose 85. He gets almost 2300 a day, I only get 1400. When we go on a four hour hike his Garmin gives him 1300 extra calories, mine gives me 1000. So why is being female so bad? Yes, I envy him. He told me last night that he's going to start eating more at lunch so it doesn't look like he gets to eat more than me while we are at home (we are only together at dinner - we both work full time). And while I appreciate the sentiment... I almost wish he hadn't told me. :p

    It's all relative though. I cut weight on about 2300-2500 calories and my wife will make comments in regards to how lucky I am...but I'm used to eating 2800-3000 to maintain my weight, so it's just as "painful" for me to cut to 2300-2500 as it is for her to cut from her maintenance of 2300 to 1700/1800.

    Eh, I'd say yes and no. The lower calorie allowance is definitely more restrictive when it comes to having room to fit in meals out, treats, and the like. Especially at 1400 calories.

    IDK...I have a harder time fitting in treats and meals out when I'm cutting weight. If I do eat out I usually end up having to get something that isn't my first or even second or third choice because I need to keep the calories down. I have to watch the treats too because with 2300-2500 calories I have much less room for proper nutrition and I would just be hungry forgoing my nutrition for more treats. My treat is usually a couple of squares of dark chocolate in the evening for desert when I'm cutting, and that's pretty much it...and even then, it's not always a nightly thing.
  • pinuplove
    pinuplove Posts: 12,874 Member
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    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    pinuplove wrote: »
    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    ohcobblers wrote: »
    I have the envy problem too. Someone up there said "you have found the problem with the buddy system"... I have. My husband only needs to lose 65 lbs I want to lose 85. He gets almost 2300 a day, I only get 1400. When we go on a four hour hike his Garmin gives him 1300 extra calories, mine gives me 1000. So why is being female so bad? Yes, I envy him. He told me last night that he's going to start eating more at lunch so it doesn't look like he gets to eat more than me while we are at home (we are only together at dinner - we both work full time). And while I appreciate the sentiment... I almost wish he hadn't told me. :p

    It's all relative though. I cut weight on about 2300-2500 calories and my wife will make comments in regards to how lucky I am...but I'm used to eating 2800-3000 to maintain my weight, so it's just as "painful" for me to cut to 2300-2500 as it is for her to cut from her maintenance of 2300 to 1700/1800.

    Eh, I'd say yes and no. The lower calorie allowance is definitely more restrictive when it comes to having room to fit in meals out, treats, and the like. Especially at 1400 calories.

    IDK...I have a harder time fitting in treats and meals out when I'm cutting weight. If I do eat out I usually end up having to get something that isn't my first or even second or third choice because I need to keep the calories down. I have to watch the treats too because with 2300-2500 calories I have much less room for proper nutrition and I would just be hungry forgoing my nutrition for more treats. My treat is usually a couple of squares of dark chocolate in the evening for desert when I'm cutting, and that's pretty much it...and even then, it's not always a nightly thing.

    Meeting minimums for protein and fat plus a decent amount of micros at 1400 doesn't leave much wiggle room at all. I realize your minimums increase with your calorie level (particularly protein) but it seems like you'd have a bit more space with the increased base calorie level. But I've obviously never been in that situation. Either way, eating in a deficit isn't particularly pleasant for anyone who remotely likes food :smile:
  • hesn92
    hesn92 Posts: 5,967 Member
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    Eyes on the prize... Lol... I think your meal sounds better than Denny's too.
  • sbrooks0387
    sbrooks0387 Posts: 167 Member
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    I don't eat out a lot, because I hate how much $$ it is. But when I do, I plan for it. It helps to look at the menu and plan the restaurant meal first, then plan your other meals lighter. If you don't want a low calorie option, only eat half of what ever you order (take the rest home for tomorrow).

    unless it's something like sub's I usually eat at maintenance on the days I eat out.
  • amusedmonkey
    amusedmonkey Posts: 10,330 Member
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    braewe wrote: »
    I like these forums already. Never even thought of swapping things around to the 'I stuck to it and she didn't' although I want her to succeed too...

    I know I shouldn't be saying this, but I often feel luckier than some other dieters. I get the freedom to choose to eat out whenever I want without deviating from my diet (instead of putting my life on hold and holding my breath for that once a week cheat meal), and I also get to be in control enough to comfortably choose not eat out most of the time without feeling deprived because I know it's always an option whenever I need it (instead of pouncing at the chance out of deprivation). Keep at it. With time and experience, it does get easier.
  • hipari
    hipari Posts: 1,367 Member
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    alteredsteve175 wrote: »
    nutmegoreo wrote: »
    braewe wrote: »
    Thanks! I think I will try the 'look at the menu before going' idea. And I guess I hadn't planned far enough ahead for 'never' eating out.

    I also hadn't considered the budgeting for a splurge, by extra activity or saving. I didn't even know you COULD 'save' I thought each day was just, each day.

    Some people look at the week as a total, having high and low days. They all even out in the end. After a higher calorie day, it's not uncommon to have the scale read a bit higher. That's a combination of water and extra waste, not fat. So don't allow that to shock you.

    Good strategy there. I have a daily calorie target, but really pay attention to the weekly totals. That lets me fit in a restaurant visit or drinks or eat a treat meal without blowing the whole program. Had a party with some old friends Friday night - was over my daily target but will not exceed the weekly allowance. Keep working on this and checking here for advice and you will figure out something that will work for you.

    Same here, it's weekly totals I'm looking at. Or, more specifically, weekly averages for burn and intake, and overall weekly deficit (I recently lost a lot of weight in a week where I consistenly ate 2700-3000 calories per day, but I was hiking and burning 4000+, so it's the deficit that matters).

    Looking at weekly totals/averages instead of days doesn't mean you can go from fasting to bingeing and back all the time. Find a pattern that's suitable for you. For example, my daily goal is 2000 but I simply try to keep the average at 2000 and the daily between 1600 and 2400. Empirically, below 1600 is too low for me and always makes my stomach a bottomless pit the next day. So, if I want to "bank" a thousand extra calories for an event, I have to spread that out over a few days of eating a little bit lighter.

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