Increased Fast, Apple Cider Vinegar, and Low(ish) Carbs. Why am I not losing more?!?
Replies
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nutmegoreo wrote: »Carbs are way too high. Plus you need daily coffee grounds enemas at exactly 9:37 am. If you can't do these thing, then you aren't dedicated.
How dare you question OPs dedication. You're so mean. Besides coffee grinds only work if you're secreting insulin and you're in fat storage mode.7 -
nutmegoreo wrote: »Carbs are way too high. Plus you need daily coffee grounds enemas at exactly 9:37 am. If you can't do these thing, then you aren't dedicated.
How dare you question OPs dedication. You're so mean. Besides coffee grinds only work if you're secreting insulin and you're in fat storage mode.
I may be mean, but at least I read current literature, and you don't know what you're talking about. Coffe grounds do not require the work of the insulin fairy. Although he is very important, which is why OP needs to be at no more than 3 carbs. Not net Carbs, three total carbs. The insulin fairy needs his food, just enough to keep him alive. Any more than that and he becomes Fatty McFatterson.11 -
You have to make sure the bones you use to make broth are ancient enough. Pre medieval, at least.9
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You need to burn more calories.
Start a *kitten*post about another person's diary showing them eating dessert for lunch, then backpedal furiously when called out about it. That should burn a ton.
If that fails, eat a bag of olestra chips and take some Alli.
You forgot the sugar-free gummy bears.
They are offended.10 -
snickerscharlie wrote: »You need to burn more calories.
Start a *kitten*post about another person's diary showing them eating dessert for lunch, then backpedal furiously when called out about it. That should burn a ton.
If that fails, eat a bag of olestra chips and take some Alli.
You forgot the sugar-free gummy bears.
They are offended.
The trifecta of suffering.3 -
nutmegoreo wrote: »nutmegoreo wrote: »Carbs are way too high. Plus you need daily coffee grounds enemas at exactly 9:37 am. If you can't do these thing, then you aren't dedicated.
How dare you question OPs dedication. You're so mean. Besides coffee grinds only work if you're secreting insulin and you're in fat storage mode.
I may be mean, but at least I read current literature, and you don't know what you're talking about. Coffe grounds do not require the work of the insulin fairy.
Well I just got back from the Symposium of Homeopathic Flat Earthers Society and I learned what THEY don't want YOU to know. The information is out there, Google it, I'm not doing your homework.16 -
nutmegoreo wrote: »nutmegoreo wrote: »Carbs are way too high. Plus you need daily coffee grounds enemas at exactly 9:37 am. If you can't do these thing, then you aren't dedicated.
How dare you question OPs dedication. You're so mean. Besides coffee grinds only work if you're secreting insulin and you're in fat storage mode.
I may be mean, but at least I read current literature, and you don't know what you're talking about. Coffe grounds do not require the work of the insulin fairy.
Well I just got back from the Symposium of Homeopathic Flat Earthers Society and I learned what THEY don't want YOU to know. The information is out there, Google it, I'm not doing your homework.
Caught me before the edit. I explained a bit further.
I got my information from a Holistic Rocket Scientist. Dude's on the inside with NASA. Way better than any Google search or Flat Earther convention.5 -
Is someone down the street from you eating sugar. 'cuz insulinz, you know...3
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I am disappointed in the lack of garcinia cambogia being mentioned here. Really, guys, get with the game.5
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Excuse me, but not one of you has mentioned Dr Oz yet. Seriously, that guy is the real deal.10
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callsitlikeiseeit wrote: »up the apple cider vinegar.
add keto.
add cleanses.
add ummmm errrrr yeah. just try that.
YOU FORGOT INTERMITTENT FASTING!!7 -
Maxematics wrote: »Read the title and rolled my eyes hard. Opened the thread and realized it was satire. Well played. Happy Friday!
Same1 -
callsitlikeiseeit wrote: »up the apple cider vinegar.
add keto.
add cleanses.
add ummmm errrrr yeah. just try that.
YOU FORGOT INTERMITTENT FASTING!!
I don't know why, but I read that as intermittent farting...which would be totally different.8 -
callsitlikeiseeit wrote: »up the apple cider vinegar.
add keto.
add cleanses.
add ummmm errrrr yeah. just try that.
YOU FORGOT INTERMITTENT FASTING!!
Clearly the OP stated he's doing sporadic eating folllowed by discontinuous digestion, it puts him in a state of layered fat burning zones and turbo autophagy. Oh, it also allows him to see through walls and fly.5 -
I haven't seen any mention of African Mango extract. Have you tried sprinkling that on your ACV? It could be the missing link here! If that doesn't work, try the rasperry ketones. But not both at once. We don't want to boost your metabolism TOO high. That could EASILY throw you into starvation fat storage mode!
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callsitlikeiseeit wrote: »up the apple cider vinegar.
add keto.
add cleanses.
add ummmm errrrr yeah. just try that.
YOU FORGOT INTERMITTENT FASTING!!
I don't know why, but I read that as intermittent farting...which would be totally different.
Well he could do that too but he wouldn't lose fat. Only gas weight.0 -
I'm deeply offended by this thread. Everyone here knows that you must be in ketosis to lose weight. You can be at a calorie surplus and still lose as long as you are keto + IF.
Keto+IF cause muscle gains without ever lifting. You can bulk, cut , maintain and everything in between because it IS magic. Calories don't matter. I actually chug whipping cream and coconut oil for breakfast because it is indeed a super food.
Don't ask me for peer reviewed studies. I only have blogs as my reference anyway. Besides I'm just so enlightened that I don't even need to do any research. I read enough on here already so am an expert.
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There is this weight loss drug from the 70's.... Cocaine! LOL2
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Are you breathing? You have to breathe out the fat. If you don't set aside time every day to hyperventilate, of course it will slow down your rate of loss!7
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psychod787 wrote: »There is this weight loss drug from the 70's.... Cocaine! LOL
Time to break out the Blazing Saddles quotes!3 -
FireOpalCO wrote: »psychod787 wrote: »There is this weight loss drug from the 70's.... Cocaine! LOL
Time to break out the Blazing Saddles quotes!
Excuse me While I Whip This Out...
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Lame.9 -
callsitlikeiseeit wrote: »up the apple cider vinegar.
add keto.
add cleanses.
add ummmm errrrr yeah. just try that.
YOU FORGOT INTERMITTENT FASTING!!
I don't know why, but I read that as intermittent farting...which would be totally different.
Well he could do that too but he wouldn't lose fat. Only gas weight.
5 -
For my next impression, Jesse Owens!1
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It's probably your lip balm.15
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FireOpalCO wrote: »psychod787 wrote: »There is this weight loss drug from the 70's.... Cocaine! LOL
Time to break out the Blazing Saddles quotes!
https://youtu.be/NmAAEntLaYI 0 -
It's because you're not detoxing! Your body is full of chemicals that stopped your metabolism. Also, I recommend copper socks to help your body realign itself.5
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It's because you're still consuming dairy. What do baby cows drink to get so big? Milk. It's obvious anyone serious about weight loss needs to ditch it.8
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You need to burn more calories.
Start a *kitten*post about another person's diary showing them eating dessert for lunch, then backpedal furiously when called out about it. That should burn a ton.
If that fails, eat a bag of olestra chips and take some Alli.
Haribo Sugarfree gummy bears will also help.1
This discussion has been closed.
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