Being overweight but seen as thin

yirara

I probably have some body dysmorphic issues. A very good friend of mine as well. She's constantly surprised that I don't fit into her clothes (she is petite, even if she's equally tall as me )

Anyway, before I lost weight I was 76kg at 169cm. My friend thinks I always looked slim, and I guess part of that is because I do have a long neck and a rather small head, with very thin elven hair I also never had a big belly, and my collar bones, wide shoulders and wide pelvis bones poked out, tiny wrists. All padding was literally stuck on upper arms, legs, bum and hips.

So are there other people who think they fit into this odd category? Are there people who are/were repeatedly told they are slim while being overweight?

Just curious, really. Also would love to see photos of e.g. plus size models or other people who fit this category.

cwolfman13

I was never told I was slim, but people were always surprised when I told them my weight. For one, even when I was over fat, I had a decent amount of muscle mass. Beyond that, as fat goes, I distribute it pretty evenly. Nobody mistook me for skinny, but people didn't think I was 220 and obese at 5'10" either...more like they thought I was just a little overweight...

dhiammarath

I am overweight but carry my weight well. I guess I probably have a pretty thin frame. I wear small clothes, but am not yet in the healthy BMI range. Everyone tells me I need to stop losing weight / that I'll get too thin. I still have 30-40lbs to go (It'll depend on how I look/feel). I think it is because I am very proportionately even all over and still "small-ish" that I leave the impression I'm at a healthy weight. I am not... yet!

kimber0607

I have a little insight..Im 5'8 and have a naturally long lean narrow face
At my absolute thinnest I was 129-130 for a hot minute and I was wearing a jr size 5 and was told i was way too thin..gain weight

My BF is the same height and her everyday regular weight is 125 and she looks healthier and wears a bigger size....no one says she is too thin (she is clearly thin but looks fuller..LOL)

I guess depends on how shape, how we carry weight...etc etc

kim

VUA21

I am considered overweight, but wear a size 6. I get called "skinny" by some. Some of it has to to with how weight is carried. If someone carries excess fat very proportional throughout thier body they may seem thinner than someone who carries thier weight in a smaller area. The other factor is that healthy weight and average weight in US is getting farther and farther apart. When more than half a population is overweight, what is seen as "normal", is overweight. Thusly someone that is smaller than average, but still overweight is seen as being thin.

krissywashington79

I’m tall and my weight is evenly distributed. I’m already being told to stop losing weight. I just left the obese category. I still have 30lbs to go to be in normal range. Usually me response to people is a still have a high percentage of body fat to be considered healthy or they haven’t seen me naked and that shuts them up lol.

hippiesaur

krissywashington79 wrote: »

I’m tall and my weight is evenly distributed. I’m already being told to stop losing weight. I just left the obese category. I still have 30lbs to go to be in normal range. Usually me response to people is a still have a high percentage of body fat to be considered healthy or they haven’t seen me naked and that shuts them up lol.

I think it's because of your slim waist and legs. Most people imagine overweight people with a huge belly or big thighs, and you don't have those. You look good indeed, but a healthy BMI is more important than what others say or see in my opinion. Good luck on your journey!

tcunbeliever

Let's see...I am normal weight but people always seem to think I'm super skinny and verging on starvation, they consistently say things that guess my weight 30-50 lbs lower than it actually is. I think a lot of it is just being broad shouldered and small boned...it's like a tall, slender visual (optical illusion?) and no one notices where the extra bits are packed on. (for me that's love handles and hips/belly however, its a proportional spread)

I am 5'9" (175cm) and 150 lbs (68kg) - hopefully I correctly converted that...

peleroja

I'm exactly the opposite. Because I have a small frame (narrow ribcage and shoulders, small hands and feet, etc), I look quite soft and rounded even at 118 lbs (I'm 5'4"). I have a prominent collarbone, but other than that, I look more "sturdy" than "slender" because I carry weight in my upper arms and thighs, am fairly busty, have a round face, and chubby fingers/toes. Those kind of visual cues are definitely powerful and can change people's perception of you.

Then, of course, there is also the fact that a lot of people just don't know what a healthy weight looks like since they see it less and less often, and that can contribute too (as well as the fact that sometimes when you lose weight, the change itself can be so shocking to people that they think you look "wrong" somehow and therefore "too thin".)

tirowow12385

5'8' and 185, which is overweight and I've been told I'm in good shape by males and females at work, I've never heard thin though.

hesn92

Kind of i guess. I'm tall so when I was technically overweight, according to my BMI, I don't think anyone looked at me and thought I was fat, because I had a lot more area for it to spread out. I didn't look great, I think you could tell I wasn't at my ideal weight because of the muffin top etc. but I doubt anyone would have considered me to be fat. Plus I am more "pear" shaped with a small upper body. I have always looked very thin from the waist up.

kksmom1789

I am 5ft tall and weigh 166lbs so def in the obese category I wear size 12/14 jeans but I have a friend / coworker that is constantly telling me how skinny I look and she always seems to do it on days that I feel like I am a stuffed can of biscuits lol also when I look at myself in the mirror sometimes I don't feel super over weight I actually feel good about myself... I think I am just weird

moniquekim1968

Thank you for this! I know exactly what you mean. I'm 5"6 and very small boned. I currently weigh 143 lbs and am about 15 lbs overweight for my frame (for context, I used to comfortably be between 118 to 125 lbs, now just trying to get back to 130). Everyone keeps saying "But you're so skinny!" I have very thin legs but my face, arms and core are very heavy. I think the lesson is, only you know what feels right for you. My cues that I'm too heavy are: my clothes don't fit, I sweat a lot, my mood tends to be anxious/depressed (I struggle with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and it gets very out of control when I'm not physically in a good place) and I get out of breath doing stairs. I've just rejoined MFP to track my eating and hold myself accountable with workouts.

pinuplove

I think the divergence of 'healthy' and 'average' @VUA21 mentioned is a big part of it. This weekend when introducing my niece's new beau around, my sister said 'and the little bitty one over there is my younger sister.' I'm 5'4 and 145 - barely into normal BMI and hardly itty bitty. But once I thought about it, I was the smallest adult in the room.

GeauxL

I am short, 5’ 2”, & lost 100lbs; people are always telling me that I am melting away, that I don’t need to lose anymore weight, they always “guess my weight” much lower than it actually is but in reality, I still need to lose about 15-20lbs. Personally, yes I do have some body issues, I don’t think I’m skinny nor that I need to stop losing weight but I think when someone loses such a large amount of weight, when people see us, we look so much different that they view us as “skinny” because they are comparing us to what we used to look like. Now, when I go back to pics of me at my heaviest, My Lord! I think how was I ever that big, so I can understand how others may be shocked when they see me now.

MostlyWater

Yes, I'm pear shaped and dress for my size, so I always look good.

HoneyBadger302

I'm overweight for my frame (technically not overweight by the BMI, but just barely). My progress photos (that I keep to myself) show the real truth.

People don't see me as overweight - but I do my best to cover my "excess" and I'm not obese, so I can cover it fairly well with proper clothing.

I'm currently a size 6/8 (10 without vanity sizing), where I should be a 4/5 (or even a bit smaller).

I don't get called "skinny" but a LOT of people make comments about how I "don't need to lose any weight" when I really do need to lose a minimum of 20 pounds.

furmickc

GeauxL wrote: »

I am short, 5’ 2”, & lost 100lbs; people are always telling me that I am melting away, that I don’t need to lose anymore weight, they always “guess my weight” much lower than it actually is but in reality, I still need to lose about 15-20lbs. Personally, yes I do have some body issues, I don’t think I’m skinny nor that I need to stop losing weight but I think when someone loses such a large amount of weight, when people see us, we look so much different that they view us as “skinny” because they are comparing us to what we used to look like. Now, when I go back to pics of me at my heaviest, My Lord! I think how was I ever that big, so I can understand how others may be shocked when they see me now.

Oh my word! I read that at first that your were 5 foot 2 and WEIGHED 100 pounds, and need to lose 15-20 more. Oops. Afternoon brain fart.

Back to the topic. When I started losing weight, I was 5 feet tall 129 pounds with a muscular build. When I told people I was trying to lose weight, they were shocked. I am very physically active (ultramathoner), but my diet was crap.

I'm now down to 118, would like to lose 3-5 pounds, and I was just told by a friend that I hadn't seen for a while that I looked great. So I think in my case, since I looked "normalish", people took that as a healthy weight. But now that I've worked on my diet and lost weight, the "real me" is showing?

nowine4me

I don’t believe I’ve ever been called slim. Ever.

GottaBurnEmAll

I think I had dropped around 60 pounds at one point (I'm down a total of 95) between dentist check ups and there was a lot of commenting and congratulating going on, and I'll never forget what my dentist said to me. "It's so weird to see you like this, because I never thought of you as even being big in the first place."

I don't get it. I weighed 210 pounds on a 5'1" medium frame. I understand that my fat was distributed nicely and I carried my weight well, but my goodness. I still don't get it. Mind you, my dentist is a very, very petite woman herself.

middlehaitch

GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »

I think I had dropped around 60 pounds at one point (I'm down a total of 95) between dentist check ups and there was a lot of commenting and congratulating going on, and I'll never forget what my dentist said to me. "It's so weird to see you like this, because I never thought of you as even being big in the first place."

I don't get it. I weighed 210 pounds on a 5'1" medium frame. I understand that my fat was distributed nicely and I carried my weight well, but my goodness. I still don't get it. Mind you, my dentist is a very, very petite woman herself.

Sorry a tad off topic.
I remember you pre 2016. Not sure what your weight was in your profile pic, but you looked slim and 'well endowed'.

I always look heavier than my weight, relatively big shoulders and I carry Every. Single. Pound. of fat in my abdomen.

So, sorry @yirara, can't contribute.

Cheers, h.

GottaBurnEmAll

middlehaitch wrote: »

GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »

I think I had dropped around 60 pounds at one point (I'm down a total of 95) between dentist check ups and there was a lot of commenting and congratulating going on, and I'll never forget what my dentist said to me. "It's so weird to see you like this, because I never thought of you as even being big in the first place."

I don't get it. I weighed 210 pounds on a 5'1" medium frame. I understand that my fat was distributed nicely and I carried my weight well, but my goodness. I still don't get it. Mind you, my dentist is a very, very petite woman herself.

Sorry a tad off topic.
I remember you pre 2016. Not sure what your weight was in your profile pic, but you looked slim and 'well endowed'.

I always look heavier than my weight, relatively big shoulders and I carry Every. Single. Pound. of fat in my abdomen.

So, sorry @yirara, can't contribute.

Cheers, h.

Around this weight h?



This was 140 pounds.

This is a before pic taken when I was 195. I don't have any pics of me at 210

middlehaitch

@GottaBurnEmAll, yep, the pink top is the one I remember as you. But posting the blue I did recognize it.

I never realized until relatively recently we were the same height.

(I'm always amazed/amused by that though, we usually see individual pics, for privacy purposes, so it is hard to know a person's height without context- I'm really 6'1, honest )

Cheers, h.
Apologies again @yirara for the side track.

ETA: I would have thought you a lot lighter at 140.
I was horrendous at 130- you look lighter. If that makes sense. h

GottaBurnEmAll

middlehaitch wrote: »

@GottaBurnEmAll, yep, the pink top is the one I remember as you. But posting the blue I did recognize it.

I never realized until relatively recently we were the same height.

(I'm always amazed/amused by that though, we usually see individual pics, for privacy purposes, so it is hard to know a person's height without context- I'm really 6'1, honest )

Cheers, h.
Apologies again @yirara for the side track.

ETA: I would have thought you a lot lighter at 140.
I was horrendous at 130- you look lighter. If that makes sense. h

Again, sorry for the hijack @yiara, but in a way this relates:

H, you and I are indeed the same size, but we have different frame sizes AND different genetic muscle mass. I know, for example, that my thighs are more muscular than yours. Mine are a genetic inheritance from my grandmother. Hearty Italian peasant stock! I think between the frame and the muscle mass, it can go a lot towards explaining how one can look a certain way at a certain weight compared to another person.

bjess8411

Overweight really isn't big in the grand scheme of things and bmi changed in the 90s. Bmi is for population's not individuals so you might look good a little over what it recommends.

asltiffm

I get this. But I have been told for most of my life, by my mom, that I have body dysmorphia. In all fairness, I have lost weight but don’t feel thin. I don’t feel obese but I feel so lumpy and unhealthy. I’m 5’9” and currently 150. I am in the normal BMI range but I just feel like my stomach is huge and my thighs too. I’ve been told that I’m thin. I don’t see what others see though, I guess. My lowest, while muscular and highly active, which I am not currently, was 137. That was the only time on my life that I felt thin. I wish uncoils see what others say they see but I don’t really believe them anyway...I think they are just being nice. Which is funny because I really don’t have that much weight to lose. Body dysmorphia is the worst!

Noreenmarie1234

I think it is mostly because people are used to seeing overweight people. I mean 70 percent are obese or overweight, so the new normal or slim is slightly overweight. I feel like when most people actually see people at healthy to low BMI they think they are "skeletal" just because they are so used to seeing obese/overweight people.

invisibleman53

Yirara, I recently read an article about our body shapes. We are either pear or apple shaped. Women are for the most part pears. You can lose weight but you can't change your shape. You can weight lift to add muscle but the shape is still there. As for me, what's funny is even after I lost 60 pounds from 220 to 160, my friends said they don't remember me being obese, that is until I show them my before and after pictures, then its wow, I never noticed.

Noreenmarie1234

invisibleman53 wrote: »

Yirara, I recently read an article about our body shapes. We are either pear or apple shaped. Women are for the most part pears. You can lose weight but you can't change your shape. You can weight lift to add muscle but the shape is still there. As for me, what's funny is even after I lost 60 pounds from 220 to 160, my friends said they don't remember me being obese, that is until I show them my before and after pictures, then its wow, I never noticed.

WOW! What an amazing transformation, you look fantastic and glowing now.

corysmithsmail

I'm 5'5 and 190lbs. Everyone thinks I'm smaller. They flip out when I say I want to lose 30 more lbs. Though even if I lost that 160lbs is still too heavy for my frame according to medical prof. But I am not trying to be super thin, so I will never purposefully go lower than 160. But I guess I just carry my weight differently.

Noreenmarie1234

corysmithsmail wrote: »

I'm 5'5 and 190lbs. Everyone thinks I'm smaller. They flip out when I say I want to lose 30 more lbs. Though even if I lost that 160lbs is still too heavy for my frame according to medical prof. But I am not trying to be super thin, so I will never purposefully go lower than 160. But I guess I just carry my weight differently.

If that is you in your photo, I think you look 190. I wouldn't listen to any of them! Most likely they don't want you to look better than them, lol. Lose until you are happy and at a healthy weight.