Being overweight but seen as thin

GottaBurnEmAll

middlehaitch wrote: »

GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »

I think I had dropped around 60 pounds at one point (I'm down a total of 95) between dentist check ups and there was a lot of commenting and congratulating going on, and I'll never forget what my dentist said to me. "It's so weird to see you like this, because I never thought of you as even being big in the first place."

I don't get it. I weighed 210 pounds on a 5'1" medium frame. I understand that my fat was distributed nicely and I carried my weight well, but my goodness. I still don't get it. Mind you, my dentist is a very, very petite woman herself.

Sorry a tad off topic.
I remember you pre 2016. Not sure what your weight was in your profile pic, but you looked slim and 'well endowed'.

I always look heavier than my weight, relatively big shoulders and I carry Every. Single. Pound. of fat in my abdomen.

So, sorry @yirara, can't contribute.

Cheers, h.

Around this weight h?



This was 140 pounds.

This is a before pic taken when I was 195. I don't have any pics of me at 210

middlehaitch

@GottaBurnEmAll, yep, the pink top is the one I remember as you. But posting the blue I did recognize it.

I never realized until relatively recently we were the same height.

(I'm always amazed/amused by that though, we usually see individual pics, for privacy purposes, so it is hard to know a person's height without context- I'm really 6'1, honest )

Cheers, h.
Apologies again @yirara for the side track.

ETA: I would have thought you a lot lighter at 140.
I was horrendous at 130- you look lighter. If that makes sense. h

GottaBurnEmAll

middlehaitch wrote: »

@GottaBurnEmAll, yep, the pink top is the one I remember as you. But posting the blue I did recognize it.

I never realized until relatively recently we were the same height.

(I'm always amazed/amused by that though, we usually see individual pics, for privacy purposes, so it is hard to know a person's height without context- I'm really 6'1, honest )

Cheers, h.
Apologies again @yirara for the side track.

ETA: I would have thought you a lot lighter at 140.
I was horrendous at 130- you look lighter. If that makes sense. h

Again, sorry for the hijack @yiara, but in a way this relates:

H, you and I are indeed the same size, but we have different frame sizes AND different genetic muscle mass. I know, for example, that my thighs are more muscular than yours. Mine are a genetic inheritance from my grandmother. Hearty Italian peasant stock! I think between the frame and the muscle mass, it can go a lot towards explaining how one can look a certain way at a certain weight compared to another person.

bjess8411

Overweight really isn't big in the grand scheme of things and bmi changed in the 90s. Bmi is for population's not individuals so you might look good a little over what it recommends.

asltiffm

I get this. But I have been told for most of my life, by my mom, that I have body dysmorphia. In all fairness, I have lost weight but don’t feel thin. I don’t feel obese but I feel so lumpy and unhealthy. I’m 5’9” and currently 150. I am in the normal BMI range but I just feel like my stomach is huge and my thighs too. I’ve been told that I’m thin. I don’t see what others see though, I guess. My lowest, while muscular and highly active, which I am not currently, was 137. That was the only time on my life that I felt thin. I wish uncoils see what others say they see but I don’t really believe them anyway...I think they are just being nice. Which is funny because I really don’t have that much weight to lose. Body dysmorphia is the worst!

Noreenmarie1234

I think it is mostly because people are used to seeing overweight people. I mean 70 percent are obese or overweight, so the new normal or slim is slightly overweight. I feel like when most people actually see people at healthy to low BMI they think they are "skeletal" just because they are so used to seeing obese/overweight people.

invisibleman53

Yirara, I recently read an article about our body shapes. We are either pear or apple shaped. Women are for the most part pears. You can lose weight but you can't change your shape. You can weight lift to add muscle but the shape is still there. As for me, what's funny is even after I lost 60 pounds from 220 to 160, my friends said they don't remember me being obese, that is until I show them my before and after pictures, then its wow, I never noticed.

Noreenmarie1234

invisibleman53 wrote: »

Yirara, I recently read an article about our body shapes. We are either pear or apple shaped. Women are for the most part pears. You can lose weight but you can't change your shape. You can weight lift to add muscle but the shape is still there. As for me, what's funny is even after I lost 60 pounds from 220 to 160, my friends said they don't remember me being obese, that is until I show them my before and after pictures, then its wow, I never noticed.

WOW! What an amazing transformation, you look fantastic and glowing now.

corysmithsmail

I'm 5'5 and 190lbs. Everyone thinks I'm smaller. They flip out when I say I want to lose 30 more lbs. Though even if I lost that 160lbs is still too heavy for my frame according to medical prof. But I am not trying to be super thin, so I will never purposefully go lower than 160. But I guess I just carry my weight differently.

Noreenmarie1234

corysmithsmail wrote: »

I'm 5'5 and 190lbs. Everyone thinks I'm smaller. They flip out when I say I want to lose 30 more lbs. Though even if I lost that 160lbs is still too heavy for my frame according to medical prof. But I am not trying to be super thin, so I will never purposefully go lower than 160. But I guess I just carry my weight differently.

If that is you in your photo, I think you look 190. I wouldn't listen to any of them! Most likely they don't want you to look better than them, lol. Lose until you are happy and at a healthy weight.

DeshotelK

tcunbeliever wrote: »

Let's see...I am normal weight but people always seem to think I'm super skinny and verging on starvation, they consistently say things that guess my weight 30-50 lbs lower than it actually is. I think a lot of it is just being broad shouldered and small boned...it's like a tall, slender visual (optical illusion?) and no one notices where the extra bits are packed on. (for me that's love handles and hips/belly however, its a proportional spread)

I am 5'9" (175cm) and 150 lbs (68kg) - hopefully I correctly converted that...

I'm also 5'9" and when I was at my lowest (160 lbs) I was constantly told I was too skinny. I have a wide frame and people would always guess my weight as being way lower than it was. I'm back up to more than I'm comfortable with now and the comments have stopped. Working my way back down to my comfortable weight again so I'm sure I'll be hearing it soon enough.

elsie6hickman

Because of my bone structure, I can carry a bit more weight without looking "fat". I am short 5'3", but not petite - meaning I don't have small bones, so even at my thinnest, I can never wear petites. And I carry my weight pretty well distributed, no matter what my weight and solid, not "fluffy".

DomesticKat

Noreenmarie1234 wrote: »

I think it is mostly because people are used to seeing overweight people. I mean 70 percent are obese or overweight, so the new normal or slim is slightly overweight. I feel like when most people actually see people at healthy to low BMI they think they are "skeletal" just because they are so used to seeing obese/overweight people.

I agree with this. I've had overweight friends refer to anything in the "normal" weight category as alien or skeletal and how they would look horrible at a normal weight. I asked if I look alien or skeletal to them and they shut up because apparently I'm "different". No, it's just not as drastic as most people think to be a normal weight.

I ultimately think this is dismissive and shaming behavior. When everyone around you is overweight, it's easy to dismiss any benefit of achieving a normal weight. If you convince yourself that all the overweight people around you are perfectly healthy and happy, the idea of a normal weight is BS and hype. It's cognitive dissonance and threatens the status quo to acknowledge anything else.

I say that as a former obese person who gave myself permission and convinced myself of all sorts of lies for many years to stay fat because everyone around me was fat. I heard all the time how I couldn't possibly be obese and carried my fat so well all over my body (so therefore BMI was *kitten*), but I was definitely obese and looked it when comparing to now.

DomesticKat

I don't have very many photos of me at my heaviest but I was probably 170-180 on the right vs. 126 on the left. I'm 5'1". People tried to convince me I looked slim and had a great figure, probably to make me feel good or make themselves feel better. I believed that at the time but I've accepted reality now.

deputy_randolph

First, I think a lot of the words people use to describe bodies are subjective and not particularly descriptive. A lady at work called me "skinny." The very next day, a guy at the gym called me "thick." I'm really probably a bit of both. I use the term "built" to describe myself.

Also, muscularity, height, build all factor into your weight and appearance.

corysmithsmail

deputy_randolph wrote: »

First, I think a lot of the words people use to describe bodies are subjective and not particularly descriptive. A lady at work called me "skinny." The very next day, a guy at the gym called me "thick." I'm really probably a bit of both. I use the term "built" to describe myself.

Also, muscularity, height, build all factor into your weight and appearance.

lol reminds me of a phrase I hear a lot of people refer to themselves as. "SlimThick" lol

GottaBurnEmAll

invisibleman53 wrote: »

Yirara, I recently read an article about our body shapes. We are either pear or apple shaped. Women are for the most part pears. You can lose weight but you can't change your shape. You can weight lift to add muscle but the shape is still there. As for me, what's funny is even after I lost 60 pounds from 220 to 160, my friends said they don't remember me being obese, that is until I show them my before and after pictures, then its wow, I never noticed.

You look amazing!

CrazyPixie12345

I'm overweight and yes, I definitely look it. However my friends and family would immediately disagree, but probably because they're just trying to be nice

LKArgh

I think a lot of it is a matter of perception. In an area or a group where lots of people are overweight or a few are very obese, someone who is 10, 20 or 40 lbs to lose, might easily be perceived as normal or even slim.

I had to completely change my lifestyle, both because of schedule changes and of medical restrictions, gained about 15 lbs, trying to get things back on track now. In my gym class, I am not thin and not perceived as slim. In my typical couch potato workplace, I am among the thinnest people in my age group. My gym instructor thinks it is perfectly reasonable I am trying to lose the weight and limit calories, if I had the same conversation with my coworkers, they would think I am just trying to get compliments.

ceiswyn

Strangers occasionally tell me I’m ‘lovely and slim’ (often when telling me I can ‘afford’ to eat chocolate, sigh). I’m hovering at around the very top of the ‘normal’ BMI category. But I carry all my weight in my hips and thighs, which are normally hidden under a skirt; the part of me that people see is where my collarbones show!