Too many compliments?

hjsportsed1

I started out at 270 and have lost 63 pounds. My goal is 169, which is still probably a bit overweight. Well, people at work are constantly calling me "skinny" and telling me I am wasting away to nothing. I guess I should enjoy it, but I'm sure others get tired of hearing it. I will sometimes remark that I will show you my stomach just to let you know that I am not "wasting away".

ExistingFish

They are just used to seeing you at 270lbs. Relative to your old self, you are really skinny. They don't have a mental picture of a healthy weight to compare it to, they have just known you larger.

My husband is in a similar place, he has come from 260 and he's down to 207, he does look really slim, But he's still got 30lbs to a "healthy" BMI!

ExistingFish

If they say you are wasting away to nothing, just say "Thank you, my doctor and I have a healthy weight agreed upon and I'm continuing to work towards that goal" or just "Thanks, my doctor is happy with my continuing progress".

Or just "Thanks". They don't need to know any more than that.

NewLIFEstyle4ME

hjsportsed1 wrote: »

I started out at 270 and have lost 63 pounds. My goal is 169, which is still probably a bit overweight. Well, people at work are constantly calling me "skinny" and telling me I am wasting away to nothing. I guess I should enjoy it, but I'm sure others get tired of hearing it. I will sometimes remark that I will show you my stomach just to let you know that I am not "wasting away".

"I'll show you my stomach just to let you know I'm not wasting away" What a SCREAM, that's soooo funny and so BOOM too. Congrats on your huge accomplishment and I say just count it ALL joy, (with the good, the bad and the ugly of weight permanent removal and/or forever ridding/letting go of excess fat and inches off of your body (I like that better than weight "loss" cause aint nobody got time/energy nor desire to find that yucky weight/fat again). People are always gonna "talk"--chalk it up to human nature and keep on keeping on with your excellent progress. I find giving people a genuine, pleasant, hearty/loud and enthusiastic "WHY, THANK YOU VERY MUCH HOW KIND OF YOU TO NOTICE" when answering the good, bad or ugly comments about anything comes up about your weight or anything else where people are giving either real or backward compliments...it either drives people bonkers (AND makes them leave you alone), confuses them (which makes them leave you alone) or inspires them to smile and say you're welcomed with a (? or !) and causes them to leave you alone. But again, you're "I'll show you my stomach is just fabulous, period.

dsboohead

Yeah.....I hear that too and just reply.....well I'm the biggest nuthin Ive ever seen

Machafin

Sounds like jealousy. You should start wearing tank tops and showing off the "guns"

steveko89

I've often seen where those sort of comments are driven by the skewed social perception of what "healthy" weight actually looks like anymore. Something like 70% of the US is at least "overweight" by BMI definitions so the public perception of "normal" is shifting heavier as it's what most see on a daily basis. Personal perception also plays a significant role given an individual's weight history, weight loss history, or lack thereof.

I have a good friend who I've known for seven years now, who was "obese" by BMI (5'10" 230-260) until the start of this year. He used to talk about losing some weight and thinking he'd "just looked jacked" if he got down to 210-215, which is still considered obese for his height. The shift in his perception as he's lost weight has been interesting, in no small part to getting divorced from his significantly overweight wife. When he got closer to that 215 mark I noticed he started talking about targeting 185 as his end point, being scrawny if he dropped any further. Now at 190 he's shooting for ~175, which is the boarder of "overweight" and "normal" but will probably be good/healthy for him given his strength training and rec soccer habits. I'm really curious how low he might actually try to lose given his past history.

jogetsgains

They are probably genuinely complimenting you, just not the way you want to be complimented
(or not mentioned at all). Say thanks and move on. It may not be what you want to hear but you cannot control what people say. You can only control your response to it. Take it as a confirmation that you are making positive progress.
Perception is relative.

hesn92

I'd just respond and say "well I still have another x lbs to go before I am considered a healthy weight, but thanks for the compliment." I agree, it is annoying. It's none of their business and not their place to comment.

hjsportsed1

hesn92 wrote: »

I'd just respond and say "well I still have another x lbs to go before I am considered a healthy weight, but thanks for the compliment." I agree, it is annoying. It's none of their business and not their place to comment.

Yes, that is the first thing I usually say. Letting them know I still have X amount of pounds to go.

pinuplove

hjsportsed1 wrote: »

hesn92 wrote: »

I'd just respond and say "well I still have another x lbs to go before I am considered a healthy weight, but thanks for the compliment." I agree, it is annoying. It's none of their business and not their place to comment.

Yes, that is the first thing I usually say. Letting them know I still have X amount of pounds to go.

I wouldn't. Then you'll get the horrified looks and comments about how unhealthy you'll be at that weight. I'd just say 'I appreciate your concern, but my focus right now is on being healthy and I still have goals to reach.' Or just nod, smile, and walk away.

elsie6hickman

I think people are just trying to be nice and supportive. Eventually they will get used to the new you and the compliments will taper off, so enjoy them while you can. Had a guy in my office who was obese, went on a diet to get healthy and ended up half of his former self. He looked so different - younger and more energetic, that people couldn't help but notice and comment. I think, for the most part, people like to see other people succeed.

JoAnna4731

It's not so much that I am tired of it - it just makes me incredibly self-conscious. I started on this journey over 9 months ago, and I have lost pretty slowly - about 23 lbs to date (around a half a pound per week). All of a sudden, about a week ago, I started receiving a number of compliments at work, and a lot of "how did you do it". It was very jarring for me (since *I* know I have been losing weight right along) that people are just noticing and are clearly talking about me. Everyone has been really nice about it, but it makes me highly uncomfortable, especially since the impetus for my weight loss had nothing to do with how I looked (I am actually mourning the fact that there are several lovely clothing pieces in my larger size that I won't be able to wear anymore).

pogiguy05

You tell them you aint seen nothing yet then go like this.......

Styggian

great story, great result, congratulations

bjdw_1977

I tell 'em I'm losing so much because of all the sex I'm having with their mother (or wife). Doesn't always go down well, some people have no sense of humour about that kind of thing.

anl90

Way to go on your progress! I personally would simply see these comments as a compliment. So what if someone else thinks you are 'too skinny'? As long as what you are doing is healthy, and you are still considered a healthy weight, that is all which matters. Keep it up!

Stud47

Take it as a compliment and that people are noticing your Big change. Somebody told me recently something changed in you, did you Lost weight,? i Saïd yes. He replied you will desapear soon and we wont find you lol i just smiled and said i still have 15 lbs to lose to reach my Goal. he Said then Bravo good job. Last year somebody told me : oh u gained a lot of weight , i Saïd yes i stopped my gym and i est a lot these days. I didnt show that i didnt like the comment. I prefer the first comment than the second anyway...

jayemes

People generally suck at small talk. They're just having verbal diarrhea. Pay it no mind. Just smile and nod and walk away

VUA21

1. People are used to seeing you a lot heavier.
2. 70% of the US population is overweight, half of those are obese. Average and normal are now very different. So even if you're over weight, but below the average, you'll be seen as skinny.
3. Losing 185lbs, jealousy is very real and very ugly. I've lost a lot of friends over it.

Jimb376mfp

Yep!
I began at 376 in 2013. Made GW 184 in March 2018. I have lost -195 but still above BMI normal weight.

I had to get Dr note to set my GW at Weight Watchers. I have loose skin and. Probably could never get rid of it at age 70 but happy to be HALF the weight at my starting weight back when I started at age 65.

lililomo

Jimb376mfp wrote: »

Yep!
I began at 376 in 2013. Made GW 184 in March 2018. I have lost -195 but still above BMI normal weight.

I had to get Dr note to set my GW at Weight Watchers. I have loose skin and. Probably could never get rid of it at age 70 but happy to be HALF the weight at my starting weight back when I started at age 65.

huge achievement for you - well done - no matter the age!~