I’m down 90lbs and I’ve never been more miserable

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bootyrubsandtacos
bootyrubsandtacos Posts: 775 Member
edited September 2018 in Health and Weight Loss
My weight loss has completely thrown my hormones out of wack and I’m getting my period every three weeks with SEVERE PMS two weeks before my cycle. It seems to be getting worse the more weight I lose. My insomnia and anxiety have been UNREAL. I take meds and see a psychiatrist, I workout 6 days a week, I practice mindfulness. I go to therapy once a week and NOTHING is helping. I just want to die tbh. I’m also a caregiver to my sick mother, so the added stress of that and my pms I feel like I’m constantly on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I can’t do this anymore. I haven’t worked out in 3 days which is like a record for me.
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Replies

  • Nony_Mouse
    Nony_Mouse Posts: 5,646 Member
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    How quickly have you lost that 90lbs, and what is your current rate of loss? Have you taken any diet breaks whilst losing? What do your workouts consist of?
  • 777Gemma888
    777Gemma888 Posts: 9,578 Member
    edited September 2018
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    Since cooler temps are approaching ... Would you consider walking your mother through that lovely park you'd written about? Does it have a walking path? Agree@ease off the workouts. Instead incalcate an activity with your mum. That way, you could ease your mind and get some walking miles in. If you need complete moments to yourself, how about playing an audio book for her to occupy her, whilst you listen to what peps you up. Make it enjoyable for you both.

    If your program seems rote, you need to claim moments which could qualify as exercise, only that you plan it, so that it doesn't feel like it. You could walk to the museum or an art gallery too. Aren't you in NY? There's so much to do there.
  • elsie6hickman
    elsie6hickman Posts: 3,864 Member
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    You have a lot on your plate right now. Has anyone suggested meditation? Nothing fancy, just sitting quietly in a chair and clearing your mind. As far as your weight loss program, try a maintenance diet for a while. I don't know what all you are doing for your mom as her caretaker, but is it possible to get home health care? I have a friend struggling with this, so I have some idea what you are going through there. It sounds to me like you are getting burned out, and if you don't try something different you are going to crash. Have you spoken to your Dr about trying an increase in your meds (I take Cymbalta, and they added Buspar and it made a big difference). Or maybe that med is not working for you - not all of them work for everyone (I tried Paxil and it did nothing for me) Or if you are taking an SSRI - you know they can crap out on you (worked my way through all the popular ones and I crashed on all of them after a year). Do you feel like it is a good fit with your therapist? I've had good one and not so good ones. Last one I left because it felt like she was running an assembly line and wanted to talk more about herself).
    Have you ruled out a Vitamin D deficiency? Depression, anxiety, PMS are aggravated by low Vitamin D.

    I certainly will say a prayer for you.
  • lililomo
    lililomo Posts: 167 Member
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    i'm sorry you're under such duress. i wonder if perhaps your doctor can order a full set of bloodwork to make sure that something else isn't awry? i was taking care of my dying mother when my children were toddlers, and was a complete wreck, so i completely understand what that is all about regarding caregiving. it sounds like you need a break in a few ways. my best wishes to you... and please keep us posted. we're rooting for you! <3
  • SandSeaSkySoul
    SandSeaSkySoul Posts: 212 Member
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    I'd believe that she wasn't consuming enough calories, if she wasn't getting her TOM at all or even less than average but she's getting it more than normal!

    Might I suggest that you schedule an appointment, with a gynecologist? Sometimes birth control's necessary, to regulate excessive TOM duration and/or it's amount!
  • Seffell
    Seffell Posts: 2,222 Member
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    I have severe PMS and period pains lately (including a trip to the A&E where I was given opioid injections for the pain) and my gynecologyst prescribed the following treatment:

    1x500mg Naproxen every 12 hours (prescription NSAID in the UK)
    2x10mg hyoscine 4 times a day (over the counter in the UK)
    2x500mg paracetamol 4 times a day (over the counter in the UK)

    I'm supposed to start taking those a couple of days before I expect my pain to start and keep taking them for the duration.

    This has helped me immencely. I still have some pain but totally manageable.

    My advice is to run by your GP or gyne this treatment and see if they think it is appropriate for you.

  • Millicent3015
    Millicent3015 Posts: 374 Member
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    If there's any way you can get some respite care for your mum, even if it's just for a few days, please explore that. There may be some mental health support groups in your area where you can meet with other people who understand your struggles. I don't know what meds you're on, but if you think they're not being as effective as they could be you can discuss with your psychiatrist about adjusting your dose or trying a different one, maybe one you take at night that can make you drowsy enough to fall asleep. You really need to get the TOM issue looked at, too. Take a break. You're doing so much and if you're not getting enough to eat and/or working out too much, that will impact you. It's okay to ease back for a while, you can always resume your eating and exercise once you've got the other things sorted out.
  • happytree923
    happytree923 Posts: 463 Member
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    Definitely see a PCP or GYN for the period/PMS issues if you have only gotten help from a psychiatrist so far. Psychiatric meds can work very well but they don’t balance period hormones! I reduced my antidepressant dose by getting on the right birth control, it helped that much. I hope you find the right combination of medical and non-medical support you need to get through!
  • bootyrubsandtacos
    bootyrubsandtacos Posts: 775 Member
    edited September 2018
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    Nony_Mouse wrote: »
    How quickly have you lost that 90lbs, and what is your current rate of loss? Have you taken any diet breaks whilst losing? What do your workouts consist of?

    I lost it in about 5 months. I was 410 when I started and I was doing intense workouts 6 days a week. My weight loss was pretty aggressive because I have a rare neurological disorder called idiopathic intracranial hypertension and if I didn’t get the weight off fast I could’ve went blind. I was already having major vision problems before I started getting serious about losing weight.
    ecjim wrote: »
    bootyrubsandtacos wrote: »
    ecjim wrote: »
    It sounds like you are going through a tough time - I have a question- How many cals are you eating? How much of a deficit ?
    Maybe you want to ease up on the dieting a bit , you have more then enough to deal with.
    I'm not saying go on a eating binge , but maybe some ice cream or pizza

    1700 cals. I was very comfortable at that amount. I have my occasional treats. I don’t follow any restrictive diet. I’m just having trouble functioning from my regular ole depression and anxiety and now my severe PMS. The hardest part is dealing with the relentless insomnia. Last week I was only sleeping 3 hours a night and I still managed to get up every morning and workout and stay on track. This past Saturday I just COMPLETELY burned myself out and I couldn’t push myself anymore.

    1700 cals sound good - if you are sleeping 3 hrs then working out , taking care of mom & everything else you are flat wore out. ease up for a while - maybe skip some workouts - take some days off - not completely - you still have to take care of mom , but find a little quiet time for you & relax & get some sleep

    Yeah I’m definitely burned out. It’s making me really angry, because I am extremely consistent with my workouts and diet and I can barely get out of bed the past few days. I’m losing my mind.
    777Gemma888 wrote: »
    Since cooler temps are approaching ... Would you consider walking your mother through that lovely park you'd written about? Does it have a walking path? Agree@ease off the workouts. Instead incalcate an activity with your mum. That way, you could ease your mind and get some walking miles in. If you need complete moments to yourself, how about playing an audio book for her to occupy her, whilst you listen to what peps you up. Make it enjoyable for you both.

    If your program seems rote, you need to claim moments which could qualify as exercise, only that you plan it, so that it doesn't feel like it. You could walk to the museum or an art gallery too. Aren't you in NY? There's so much to do there.

    My mom goes to water therapy three times a week. We also do YT sit down workouts. I actually really enjoy working out. I like to go for my walks alone tbh. I need that time to myself. It’s the insomnia that’s really killing my energy. I take sleeping pills and they don’t always work especially when I’m pms’ing.
    Nony_Mouse wrote: »
    777Gemma888 wrote: »
    Since cooler temps are approaching ... Would you consider walking your mother through that lovely park you'd written about? Does it have a walking path? Agree@ease off the workouts. Instead incalcate an activity with your mum. That way, you could ease your mind and get some walking miles in. If you need complete moments to yourself, how about playing an audio book for her to occupy her, whilst you listen to what peps you up. Make it enjoyable for you both.

    That 1700 cals really needs to be looked at in relation to her TDEE and how aggressive her deficit is. You can be eating what appears on the surface to be a perfectly fine amount of calories and still have low energy availability due to the amount of exercise you're doing.

    Agree though that you should back off on the workouts, OP, and eat at maintenance for a while.

    My energy is usually fine until my cycle got screwed up. There were times when I felt like I had TOO much energy.
    elsie6hickman wrote: »
    You have a lot on your plate right now. Has anyone suggested meditation? Nothing fancy, just sitting quietly in a chair and clearing your mind. As far as your weight loss program, try a maintenance diet for a while. I don't know what all you are doing for your mom as her caretaker, but is it possible to get home health care? I have a friend struggling with this, so I have some idea what you are going through there. It sounds to me like you are getting burned out, and if you don't try something different you are going to crash. Have you spoken to your Dr about trying an increase in your meds (I take Cymbalta, and they added Buspar and it made a big difference). Or maybe that med is not working for you - not all of them work for everyone (I tried Paxil and it did nothing for me) Or if you are taking an SSRI - you know they can crap out on you (worked my way through all the popular ones and I crashed on all of them after a year). Do you feel like it is a good fit with your therapist? I've had good one and not so good ones. Last one I left because it felt like she was running an assembly line and wanted to talk more about herself).
    Have you ruled out a Vitamin D deficiency? Depression, anxiety, PMS are aggravated by low Vitamin D.

    I certainly will say a prayer for you.

    I practice mindfulness every night. I usually put on some nature sounds, or do some bed yoga before bed and it rarely helps. I fall asleep and then I’m up again in 3 hours. My mother HATES aides. I’m not too fond of them myself. My grams was bedridden when I was kid and we went through soooo many. None of them had the slightest clue what they’re doing.

    I take Celexa and it’s been a game changer. I take the highest dose. My meds are fine. My depression, anxiety and insomnia is situational and hormonal. Traditional psych meds aren’t going to help.

    I’m pretty content with my therapist. She’s very easy to talk to and very knowledgeable. I HATE my psychiatrist though, but I have to stay with him because psychiatrists are very SCARCE in my area.
    lililomo wrote: »
    i'm sorry you're under such duress. i wonder if perhaps your doctor can order a full set of bloodwork to make sure that something else isn't awry? i was taking care of my dying mother when my children were toddlers, and was a complete wreck, so i completely understand what that is all about regarding caregiving. it sounds like you need a break in a few ways. my best wishes to you... and please keep us posted. we're rooting for you! <3

    Thank you :) I’m going to make an appointment with my PCP tomorrow , because I’m due for a physical. Maybe my thyroid is out of wack.
    SandSeaSkySoul wrote: »
    I'd believe that she wasn't consuming enough calories, if she wasn't getting her TOM at all or even less than average but she's getting it more than normal!

    Might I suggest that you schedule an appointment, with a gynecologist? Sometimes birth control's necessary, to regulate excessive TOM duration and/or it's amount!

    I plan to ask for a referral for one when I see my PCP. I might need to get an IUD. I’ve always had bad periods, but my pms has NEVER been this bad.

  • divcara
    divcara Posts: 357 Member
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    That sounds really hard, I'm sorry you are dealing with all of that. And insomnia and anxiety just make you feel awful. If there is anything to focus on, starting with good sleep is usually a good place to start. Easier said than done, I know. When times are extra stressful, I feel like sometimes we just have to do the best we can to get through and whatever is going to help you the most.

    I wouldn't worry so much about your workouts as a means to stay on track. Only if something is helping you cope - is there any particular activity that brings you any relief? Yoga, walking, or something SO high intensity you literally can't focus or hold on to any stressful thoughts in your head, or that burns some of that adrenaline/anxiety? If anything gives you a mental boost, I'd say go for that one and forget the rest. Or IF you find that you feel better after you go, then yes, push yourself to go to get that reward or any endorphins. But don't worry about it for calorie burn.

    I'm so sorry this is so hard - it's okay to take a step back from the world if you need to and just focus on self-care and taking as much off your plate as you possibly can. Just survival sometimes is simply all we can do. Be kind to yourself - depression and anxiety are not easy even without other stresses on top of it. Think of sleep, nutrition, exercise as positive self-care if it helps, but don't feel guilt for taking sleep and rest and just hibernating a bit if that's what helps you through a dark time too. Just do what will help you the most, without apologies or feeling like what you "should" be doing. Hugs.
  • 777Gemma888
    777Gemma888 Posts: 9,578 Member
    edited September 2018
    Options
    bootyrubsandtacos wrote: »
    .
    777Gemma888 wrote: »
    Since cooler temps are approaching ... Would you consider walking your mother through that lovely park you'd written about? Does it have a walking path? Agree@ease off the workouts. Instead incalcate an activity with your mum. That way, you could ease your mind and get some walking miles in. If you need complete moments to yourself, how about playing an audio book for her to occupy her, whilst you listen to what peps you up. Make it enjoyable for you both.

    If your program seems rote, you need to claim moments which could qualify as exercise, only that you plan it, so that it doesn't feel like it. You could walk to the museum or an art gallery too. Aren't you in NY? There's so much to do there.

    My mom goes to water therapy three times a week. We also do YT sit down workouts. I actually really enjoy working out. I like to go for my walks alone tbh. I need that time to myself. It’s the insomnia that’s really killing my energy. I take sleeping pills and they don’t always work especially when I’m pms’ing.

    Have you considered eating at your maintenance then? Just until you get a better handle on things. I cannot really suggest anything to aid you with sleep ... Since it's relatively new ... Sleep clinic would be an extreme approach. Hope you and your specialists figure out exactly what has caused this shift from your menses to your disrupted sleep.



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