What are the main problems when you try to lose weight?

marzopacyf

Hello everyone! My name is Marzena. I have a friend who struggles with losing weight. She is around 160 cm toll and her weight is around 80 kg. She isn't in the best metal condition right now. I would like to help her but first I think I need to understand the problem better.

What problems can one expects while trying to lose weight?

Thank you in advance for help

lorrpb

You can read all the threads here on MFP to understand what people experience.

Has your friend asked for your help? Encourage her to set up an account and read the sticky posts at the top of each forum.

kommodevaran

I think the main problem, is trying to lose weight. You lose weight when you over time, for real and consistently, take in fewer calories than you burn. Everybody knows that. If you accept it, too, you will win.

kimny72

I think the main problems folks have is unrealistic expectations, lack of patience, poor planning, and not understanding how the body and weight loss works.

mgalsf12

Going out to dinner. It's difficult to estimate the calories.

karyabc

Damn i don't even post like ever but I'll share my humble opinion. It wasn't food, let make it clear IT WAS NEVER THE EFFING FOOD, don't get me wrong i like food but my 321 lbs issue was the emotional factor. I used to numb everything with food, I really really thought that I was meant to be obese the same my skin is fair and my eyes are green too. Nutuh foh I'm meant to be so much more than that and whoever i choose to be.

So ask her how are you doing in the inside? Tell her I'm here for you whenever you're ready and tell her it won't be perfect but it would be damn worth it.

cmriverside

I'll just say that until she is ready, she probably isn't going to appreciate your help.

I mean, you can say it once, "Hey, I'm worried about how down you are and your health. Have you considered any professional help, like a therapist or a nutrition counselor?"

This is her battle to fight. It's a complicated problem once someone has gotten into the Obese range.

Whenever I have any kind of problem, I attack it when I'm ready. If someone tries to "help" me, it usually backfires for them. Sometimes it backfires for me, too. Seems intrusive to get involved in someone else's weight. She knows.

nutmegoreo

My biggest struggle was in my head. Believing I was worth caring for was one. Letting go of emotional eating was another. Learning self control around highly palatable foods was third. Finally, was letting go of all the misconceptions I had about good and bad foods and diet industry smoke and mirrors.

Jams29

Plateaus. They will happen. Just rememeber you WILL break through you keep below your calories! They are frustrating because you'll feel like you are doing everything right without any results. Just push through. If it lasts more than 3-4 weeks, then try reducing calories and/or upping exercise.

pjwrt

My main problem was eating too much. I found if I ate less, I'd lose weight. One glitch is when I'm active, like at work or the gym, I'll eat a lot. More than what's needed.

mrsallenmoore

Weekends and tracking on the weekends I usually skip it Bc I know I eat more

countcurt

The biggest problem is that nearly every overweight person wants to weigh less but doesn’t necessarily want to lose weight.


Because losing weight is an active process, not an outcome.

So, for example, your friend should be the one posting questions about the process herself. Your interest and support, while nice, doesn’t engage her. And does allow her to sidestep taking action herself.

mkculs

For me, it is the work involved. I hate to cook, to plan. I could lose weight while living off processed foods and fast foods, but I’m always hungry then and I overeat. I’ve discovered I don’t seem to mind doing a lot of prep on Sunday, though, and that + frequent use of my slow cooker really helps.

Something that a lot of obese people think is that it is easier for everyone else, and they resent that. Thing is, it is not easier—most thinner people have to work at it, too. Letting go of that resentment and excuse are hugely important. And accepting that it will take a very long time to lose a significant amount of weight is a must. I anticipate it will be a minimum of two years before I’m where I really want to be—but each day I’m making a tiny step in that direction, and I am being very careful to use only strategies I can live with forever. If I do something to lose weight and stop, I’m likely to regain.

As others have said, though, you are kind to want to help, but this will have to be done by your friend and for herself.

maureenkhilde

Consistently making better choices every day. It is going to be an ongoing journey that will last for the rest of my life. The first part of the journey.is about losing the weight, that took a long time to get to the point it was at, when I started on this journey in 2018. As a diabetic I need to slap myself around a bit and remind myself eat healthier, make and prepare healthier choices, and then yes every so often you can have a treat. Just not all of the time because as a diabetic it is just not about calories it is about keeping your blood sugars under control. I want both my weight and diabetes to be totally under control and to me I consider it one and the same.


I will echo what others have stated, unless your friend has reached out and asked for your help. Do not suggest how she needs to or should go on a weight loss journey. Unless it is a topic you have discussed together before. Chances are your friend will not be ready to listen to you.

marzopacyf

Thank you for all the ideas and advises. As she was very emotional I decided not to lead very serious conversation with her. From my own experience I know that when I am emotionally low I am not ready for reasonable talks. I can't hear anything.

sponsorrebecca

My periods get me out of the habit of exercising & eating right. I have SPR dysmenorrhea. Won't get into it now. I lose motivation, to keep with it because I don't see results. I've been following this site for over a month & no change. I exercise daily. You'd think I would lose at least 1lb a month. BUT NOPE!

cmriverside

marzopacyf wrote: »

Thank you for all the ideas and advises. As she was very emotional I decided not to lead very serious conversation with her. From my own experience I know that when I am emotionally low I am not ready for reasonable talks. I can't hear anything.

It's likely that weight loss isn't her biggest problem either. Please just let her be on the weight. It does no one any good to try to drag them into weight loss. Once someone is obese, there are likely many confounding co-issues and a well-meaning but untrained friend can make things way worse.

I think the best thing is to keep saying, "I'm worried about you and hope you'll look into some professional help."

siobhanaoife

If she's emotionally struggling, don't get on her about her weight, that's the last thing she needs.

Be a caring, listening friend, and perhaps see if you can gently offer healthy self-care options that would make her feel better. Ask her to join you for a walk. Go somewhere together and be in nature. Discover restorative self-care options that you love, and then share them with her, as a friend trying to help her feel better. If her distress is acute, ask her if she might want to see someone for help with that distress, whether medical or counselor or whatever.

If you see a really miserable, really fat person, don't assume that the fat caused the misery. Often it starts the other way around - the misery causes the eating that causes the fat that spirals into more self-hate and self-recrimination and more misery which leads to more eating which leads to a sense of helplessness and despair.

I suggest trying to help with the misery rather than with the fat.

marzopacyf

Thank you one more time for clarifying things for me