What would happen if we only got what we asked for?

kommodevaran

In almost every discussion in here, alternatives come up, because the proposed idea/question is not very well thought through. Then either the OP, or someone else, demands that poeple just answer the question, or ignore the discussion.

Could be fun to think about and come up with examples from other areas than fitness and dieting. Or is it just not very well thought through?

klovesd84

When I was 12 I desperately wanted to stay at summer camp “forever” because I wanted to keep seeing a boy I liked. I remember the intense feeling well, and I’m thankful we don’t always get what we wish for.

CarvedTones

I am guilty of it. I want to know how to exercise so I can keep avoiding talking to the doc about what feels a lot like a torn muscle (from past experience). I don't want you to tell me it's stupid (I already know that); just tell me what exercises won't aggravate it or better yet which ones will magically cure it.

Tacklewasher

Happens all over the place. I had a specific question on the towing capacity of a truck I bought used and asked on an RV forum if anyone had a brochure that listed capacities. Got all kinds of answers, except what I was specifically looking for.

I just wanted to see if it could tow my boat. I didn't need instructions on setting up a hitch etc. Funny thing is I was an active member and had my real tow vehicle listed in my signature, wasn't just some random new person posting, and was pretty clear in my post why I was asking. But yeah, sometimes people just gotta get on their soap box and sometimes people ask really leading questions.

pinuplove

My teenage son is good at this. It's pretty easy to figure out that 'Do we have any plans for Saturday?' really means 'I want to invite my friends over to game, so I really hope you don't have any work for me to do that day.'

Tacklewasher

I guess the other side is (still RV related) when people ask if their truck can tow something, and they list at the trailer dry weight and their trucks listed tow rating. Quickly get told that those two numbers are irrelevant and they need to look at the trailers gross weight rating and look at the trucks payload, as payload limits more than towing capacity.

RelCanonical

I can't seem to take care of my hair because I can never find the answers I'm looking for. Then, when I finally found an answer, I doubted it's accuracy because I had searched so hard for it that I was sure it was just confirmation bias. In reality, I think I just don't want to put in the money and work to have nicer hair.

lynn_glenmont

klovesd84 wrote: »

When I was 12 I desperately wanted to stay at summer camp “forever” because I wanted to keep seeing a boy I liked. I remember the intense feeling well, and I’m thankful we don’t always get what we wish for.

In "be careful what you wish for" dimension, you would have stayed at summer camp forever, but the boy and everyone else would have gone home. In MFP world, I'm "so mean" for pointing that out.

pinuplove

lynn_glenmont wrote: »

klovesd84 wrote: »

When I was 12 I desperately wanted to stay at summer camp “forever” because I wanted to keep seeing a boy I liked. I remember the intense feeling well, and I’m thankful we don’t always get what we wish for.

In "be careful what you wish for" dimension, you would have stayed at summer camp forever, but the boy and everyone else would have gone home. In MFP world, I'm "so mean" for pointing that out.

It's sort of like the 'I want to live forever' scenario vs 'I want to remain young and healthy forever.'

nutmegoreo

I think the threads would be really short and boring if people didn't attempt to fill in context from their own perspective. It would a lot of "yes," "no," and "maybe" responses and then the OP would be mad that no one understood that they were asking for more information.

I doubt there's any way to actually win. Someone's going to get upset/angry/butthurt because the responses are too long/short/blunt/irrelevant/sarcastic/impersonal/personal.

jjpptt2

I'd guess that in 5% of the situations, the OP would get the answer they needed and go on with their lives because they already have a handle on all the surrounding context. In the other 95%, the person would think they knew more than they did, act on what they thought they new, then eventually end up asking a similar/follow-up question because they are confused and/or spinning their wheels.

As someone who has asked people to "just answer the question"...
When I see a post like that, try to do both. Take the typical IF post about eating windows... my response would be something along the lines of "my window is roughly 11-7, but that's based more on my own preferences and wanting just a bit of structure to help me stay on plan... not because there is some magic happening around that timeframe. I've read about the supposed benefits to IF, but I think they are highly overstated (at best)."

So I've both answered the question about eating window, but also given some context that I felt was important that the OP know. Personally, I tend to only get annoyed and say "just answer the question" when people respond with simply, "it doesn't matter, eat whenever you want."

CSARdiver

I find it fascinating to see how other people perceive issues. Through this process we often find that it isn't an issue with the answer, but we were asking the wrong question to begin with.

The discussion matters more.

VUA21

When I was 5, I seriously wanted to be a dinosaur when I grew up. Kinda glad that didn't happen.

lynn_glenmont

VUA21 wrote: »

When I was 5, I seriously wanted to be a dinosaur when I grew up. Kinda glad that didn't happen.

In "be careful what you wish for" dimension, you would have grown up to become a fossil. Or a barrel of petrochemicals.

vanityy99

I see a lot of this




I swear that’s how some adults were as kids.

psychod787

Kitten... I don't have an epic Magnum PI mustache?

psychod787

jjpptt2 wrote: »

I'd guess that in 5% of the situations, the OP would get the answer they needed and go on with their lives because they already have a handle on all the surrounding context. In the other 95%, the person would think they knew more than they did, act on what they thought they new, then eventually end up asking a similar/follow-up question because they are confused and/or spinning their wheels.

As someone who has asked people to "just answer the question"...
When I see a post like that, try to do both. Take the typical IF post about eating windows... my response would be something along the lines of "my window is roughly 11-7, but that's based more on my own preferences and wanting just a bit of structure to help me stay on plan... not because there is some magic happening around that timeframe. I've read about the supposed benefits to IF, but I think they are highly overstated (at best)."

So I've both answered the question about eating window, but also given some context that I felt was important that the OP know. Personally, I tend to only get annoyed and say "just answer the question" when people respond with simply, "it doesn't matter, eat whenever you want."

The one truth my man for me... the more i think i know.... the more i realize i truly know nothing....

CSARdiver

psychod787 wrote: »

jjpptt2 wrote: »

I'd guess that in 5% of the situations, the OP would get the answer they needed and go on with their lives because they already have a handle on all the surrounding context. In the other 95%, the person would think they knew more than they did, act on what they thought they new, then eventually end up asking a similar/follow-up question because they are confused and/or spinning their wheels.

As someone who has asked people to "just answer the question"...
When I see a post like that, try to do both. Take the typical IF post about eating windows... my response would be something along the lines of "my window is roughly 11-7, but that's based more on my own preferences and wanting just a bit of structure to help me stay on plan... not because there is some magic happening around that timeframe. I've read about the supposed benefits to IF, but I think they are highly overstated (at best)."

So I've both answered the question about eating window, but also given some context that I felt was important that the OP know. Personally, I tend to only get annoyed and say "just answer the question" when people respond with simply, "it doesn't matter, eat whenever you want."

The one truth my man for me... the more i think i know.... the more i realize i truly know nothing....

When you understand the parameters we have to set around a body of knowledge to make it reproducible you realize the extent of this. Science and irrationality make for excellent dance partners.

hesn92

vanityy99 wrote: »

I see a lot of this




I swear that’s how some adults were as kids.

So accurate

elisa123gal

most know the answers to their own questions. It is just fun to vent and get other perspectives ..and in the end we all do what we want anyway. I think it is a social thing.