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What would happen if we only got what we asked for?
kommodevaran
Posts: 17,890 Member
In almost every discussion in here, alternatives come up, because the proposed idea/question is not very well thought through. Then either the OP, or someone else, demands that poeple just answer the question, or ignore the discussion.
Could be fun to think about and come up with examples from other areas than fitness and dieting. Or is it just not very well thought through?
Could be fun to think about and come up with examples from other areas than fitness and dieting. Or is it just not very well thought through?
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When I was 12 I desperately wanted to stay at summer camp “forever” because I wanted to keep seeing a boy I liked. I remember the intense feeling well, and I’m thankful we don’t always get what we wish for.10
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I am guilty of it. I want to know how to exercise so I can keep avoiding talking to the doc about what feels a lot like a torn muscle (from past experience). I don't want you to tell me it's stupid (I already know that); just tell me what exercises won't aggravate it or better yet which ones will magically cure it.7
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Happens all over the place. I had a specific question on the towing capacity of a truck I bought used and asked on an RV forum if anyone had a brochure that listed capacities. Got all kinds of answers, except what I was specifically looking for.
I just wanted to see if it could tow my boat. I didn't need instructions on setting up a hitch etc. Funny thing is I was an active member and had my real tow vehicle listed in my signature, wasn't just some random new person posting, and was pretty clear in my post why I was asking. But yeah, sometimes people just gotta get on their soap box and sometimes people ask really leading questions.5 -
My teenage son is good at this. It's pretty easy to figure out that 'Do we have any plans for Saturday?' really means 'I want to invite my friends over to game, so I really hope you don't have any work for me to do that day.'
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I guess the other side is (still RV related) when people ask if their truck can tow something, and they list at the trailer dry weight and their trucks listed tow rating. Quickly get told that those two numbers are irrelevant and they need to look at the trailers gross weight rating and look at the trucks payload, as payload limits more than towing capacity.4
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I can't seem to take care of my hair because I can never find the answers I'm looking for. Then, when I finally found an answer, I doubted it's accuracy because I had searched so hard for it that I was sure it was just confirmation bias. In reality, I think I just don't want to put in the money and work to have nicer hair.4
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When I was 12 I desperately wanted to stay at summer camp “forever” because I wanted to keep seeing a boy I liked. I remember the intense feeling well, and I’m thankful we don’t always get what we wish for.
In "be careful what you wish for" dimension, you would have stayed at summer camp forever, but the boy and everyone else would have gone home. In MFP world, I'm "so mean" for pointing that out.20 -
lynn_glenmont wrote: »When I was 12 I desperately wanted to stay at summer camp “forever” because I wanted to keep seeing a boy I liked. I remember the intense feeling well, and I’m thankful we don’t always get what we wish for.
In "be careful what you wish for" dimension, you would have stayed at summer camp forever, but the boy and everyone else would have gone home. In MFP world, I'm "so mean" for pointing that out.
It's sort of like the 'I want to live forever' scenario vs 'I want to remain young and healthy forever.'5 -
I think the threads would be really short and boring if people didn't attempt to fill in context from their own perspective. It would a lot of "yes," "no," and "maybe" responses and then the OP would be mad that no one understood that they were asking for more information.
I doubt there's any way to actually win. Someone's going to get upset/angry/butthurt because the responses are too long/short/blunt/irrelevant/sarcastic/impersonal/personal.7 -
I'd guess that in 5% of the situations, the OP would get the answer they needed and go on with their lives because they already have a handle on all the surrounding context. In the other 95%, the person would think they knew more than they did, act on what they thought they new, then eventually end up asking a similar/follow-up question because they are confused and/or spinning their wheels.
As someone who has asked people to "just answer the question"...
When I see a post like that, try to do both. Take the typical IF post about eating windows... my response would be something along the lines of "my window is roughly 11-7, but that's based more on my own preferences and wanting just a bit of structure to help me stay on plan... not because there is some magic happening around that timeframe. I've read about the supposed benefits to IF, but I think they are highly overstated (at best)."
So I've both answered the question about eating window, but also given some context that I felt was important that the OP know. Personally, I tend to only get annoyed and say "just answer the question" when people respond with simply, "it doesn't matter, eat whenever you want."4 -
I find it fascinating to see how other people perceive issues. Through this process we often find that it isn't an issue with the answer, but we were asking the wrong question to begin with.
The discussion matters more.6 -
When I was 5, I seriously wanted to be a dinosaur when I grew up. Kinda glad that didn't happen.16
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I see a lot of this
I swear that’s how some adults were as kids.
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Kitten... I don't have an epic Magnum PI mustache?3
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I'd guess that in 5% of the situations, the OP would get the answer they needed and go on with their lives because they already have a handle on all the surrounding context. In the other 95%, the person would think they knew more than they did, act on what they thought they new, then eventually end up asking a similar/follow-up question because they are confused and/or spinning their wheels.
As someone who has asked people to "just answer the question"...
When I see a post like that, try to do both. Take the typical IF post about eating windows... my response would be something along the lines of "my window is roughly 11-7, but that's based more on my own preferences and wanting just a bit of structure to help me stay on plan... not because there is some magic happening around that timeframe. I've read about the supposed benefits to IF, but I think they are highly overstated (at best)."
So I've both answered the question about eating window, but also given some context that I felt was important that the OP know. Personally, I tend to only get annoyed and say "just answer the question" when people respond with simply, "it doesn't matter, eat whenever you want."
The one truth my man for me... the more i think i know.... the more i realize i truly know nothing....2 -
psychod787 wrote: »I'd guess that in 5% of the situations, the OP would get the answer they needed and go on with their lives because they already have a handle on all the surrounding context. In the other 95%, the person would think they knew more than they did, act on what they thought they new, then eventually end up asking a similar/follow-up question because they are confused and/or spinning their wheels.
As someone who has asked people to "just answer the question"...
When I see a post like that, try to do both. Take the typical IF post about eating windows... my response would be something along the lines of "my window is roughly 11-7, but that's based more on my own preferences and wanting just a bit of structure to help me stay on plan... not because there is some magic happening around that timeframe. I've read about the supposed benefits to IF, but I think they are highly overstated (at best)."
So I've both answered the question about eating window, but also given some context that I felt was important that the OP know. Personally, I tend to only get annoyed and say "just answer the question" when people respond with simply, "it doesn't matter, eat whenever you want."
The one truth my man for me... the more i think i know.... the more i realize i truly know nothing....
When you understand the parameters we have to set around a body of knowledge to make it reproducible you realize the extent of this. Science and irrationality make for excellent dance partners.
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most know the answers to their own questions. It is just fun to vent and get other perspectives ..and in the end we all do what we want anyway. I think it is a social thing.3
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Thanks for all the input. I see I got some I didn't ask for too
I sincerely want to help people - I sincerely want to be entertained, too, but I hate to see people struggle - so when I come across obvious (to me) wrong questions, I offer alternatives, and get shot down. It could be the way I'm phrasing it, it could be MFP's policy, I don't know, and I'm again torn between "I don't really care, and my own issues are enough for me" and "but I really want to help".6 -
kommodevaran wrote: »Thanks for all the input. I see I got some I didn't ask for too
I sincerely want to help people - I sincerely want to be entertained, too, but I hate to see people struggle - so when I come across obvious (to me) wrong questions, I offer alternatives, and get shot down. It could be the way I'm phrasing it, it could be MFP's policy, I don't know, and I'm again torn between "I don't really care, and my own issues are enough for me" and "but I really want to help".
Some people prefer the blunt, cut to the chase kind of response, while others are a bit more delicate and deal better with a softer approach. Your style will not reach everyone but will be the best approach or some.
I was only thinking today how I would treat situations differently, in real life, without the anonymity of the boards. I don't suffer bro-science but would not be as strongly spoken about my stances if I were face-to-face. That still doesn't change the fact that I think anti-vaxers and conspiracy theorists are fools.
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Almost every question people post here has been asked and answered. If people read the first page or two of posts, the stickied posts or used the search feature they'd see the answer they are going to get.
I think if someone is posting on one thing but incidentally mention something that may be a greater problem it is pretty nice of someone to point it out and give information that was not asked for. These are also discussion boards and it is more interesting when there is discussion not just yes or no boards. Not everyone wants the same thing I guess.
Only getting what you ask for could be limiting your knowledge/experience or be dangerous.
In life if I go to a repair shop and tell them part a on my device is broken then I do want them to look at part a but if they don't tell me about part b when it is the larger problem I am going to be upset with them. I don't want them to just talk to me about part a. I want them to look at the whole device and find any problems. However, I really don't want to hear about how their aunt took a trip to Florida where the person who invented my device once lived or about a completely different device.
If I went to the doctor with migraines and they only talked about that and don't ask about other symptoms or do an exam of my whole body then they may be missing a serious health problem. Although I want my migraines treated I also want to know that my thyroid may not be working.
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If you want to waste many hours of time, check out some of the great stories on the Malicious Compliance subreddit. That is full of people getting exactly what they asked for, and in some cases getting fired or arrested because of their inability to comprehend the consequences of their requests.
Some choice ones:
Can't you just unload around me?
Difficult customer demands we place her very heavy sofa onto her delicate wooden floorboards
ID EVERYONE. No exceptions.3 -
Yes, that was what I was meaning to address - people conforming to the letter, but not the spirit, of a request. It can be dangerous. I hate to see it happen. But I would also secretly snigger. But just a little bit.
I'm also curious about "common knowledge". When people ask about things that seem obvious to me, ie things I think about as common knowledge, or self-evident, are they asking just to ask (making conversation), or in the hope that "it isn't so", or is the knowledge just not that common after all? Why do people ask if they, for instance, might be eating to little to lose weight?1 -
I wish we got exactly what we asked for. I'd be chillin' in Russia with Richard Armitage and enjoying a depression-free life with calorie-free cookies, pizza, and lasagna!2
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Maybe this belongs in Chit Chat forum since it is specifically stated to discuss areas other than health and fitness.1
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Almost every question people post here has been asked and answered. If people read the first page or two of posts, the stickied posts or used the search feature they'd see the answer they are going to get.
I think if someone is posting on one thing but incidentally mention something that may be a greater problem it is pretty nice of someone to point it out and give information that was not asked for. These are also discussion boards and it is more interesting when there is discussion not just yes or no boards. Not everyone wants the same thing I guess.
Only getting what you ask for could be limiting your knowledge/experience or be dangerous.
In life if I go to a repair shop and tell them part a on my device is broken then I do want them to look at part a but if they don't tell me about part b when it is the larger problem I am going to be upset with them. I don't want them to just talk to me about part a. I want them to look at the whole device and find any problems. However, I really don't want to hear about how their aunt took a trip to Florida where the person who invented my device once lived or about a completely different device.
If I went to the doctor with migraines and they only talked about that and don't ask about other symptoms or do an exam of my whole body then they may be missing a serious health problem. Although I want my migraines treated I also want to know that my thyroid may not be working.
Well... i I think we get what we pay for. If I am asking for a FREE service, I might listen to someone drone on about how we faked the moon landing and Bigfoot is real.0 -
Most of the useful answers I've gotten in life were to questions I didn't even know to ask.
This applies to health and fitness for me as well. If all I knew about how to take care of myself were literal answers to only the questions I specifically asked, I'd still be in a pretty bad way.5
This discussion has been closed.
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