Less Alcohol - October 2018 - One Day at a Time
Replies
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Day 12 AF!!! Yesterday was trying. I had a horrible day at work and got home to find my husband having a cocktail... There is an open bottle of wine with a single glass in it. I am about to commit alcohol sin and pour it down the drain.
Tomorrow I am spending the day with a friend. I know she will want a glass or two. I plan to refrain.
I am proud of myself for going this long!11 -
Trying not to drink for October, I was making gravy last night and usually I use wine to deglaze the pan but I realized if I had an open bottle it would be so tempting, so I just used broth. Felt good to win the struggle and use those calories for mashed potatoes instead!12
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Last night out of the blue a married friend couple contacted my husband and I. Omg.... it had been 4 years since we had seen them my husband and I had calculated as soon as we saw the text and before we texted them back.
Later that night we called them. Hashing over this and that and saying they should come to our town it has been 4 years since they were down this way.
SILENCE on the other end of the phone. What? they said, we saw you two years ago down there. NOoooooo we responded, you have not been here for FOUR years. Well long story short....hubby and I had been out in town two years ago having way to much fun (drinking like fishes going bar to bar). From what we were told by our friends we did all run into each other that night because they had pictures to prove it. And sent them to me.
UGH, SO EMBARRASSING even though I had no idea, no memory what so ever. I told them, well you know I used to drink very heavy. That is a part of my past and I want to make up for that blackout night to you both. They were shocked and tried to assure me I did not drink to much.
I am even surprised they contacted us. My husband is still in denil and says there is no way they were here, because he says we would have remembered. Well...obiously they were here and we were out of control and they have pics to prove it. Maybe I could handle that news better if I were only in my early 20's. But at 55+ it is a hard pill to swallow.
Another reason for me to have less less less alcohol.
Very thankful for this accountability.14 -
Congrats to you all!!
I wish I had seen this thread 2 days ago. I decided to go clean to help me lose some weight. I was doing good until 2 days ago. I went out with friends and had a drink out of habit. I only had one, but I was disappointed because I didn't even attempt to Not drink. Hanging out with friends I haven't seen in a long while took my mind off my ultimate goals. SMH. I plan to do better.6 -
Here’s a long post from me - since I know there are some new participants and maybe trying to figure out how to navigate a world of moderation rather than excess and I haven’t posted in a while.
My approach is “mindful moderation”. Prior to starting in this group in January I was a daily drinker, and I didn’t think an excessive drinker at the time, but when I reflected I realized I was definitely drinking more than I should. And it was just too easy for 1 to turn into 2 to turn into 3 glasses of wine, whether it was a weeknight or weekend. The point when I realized I needed to go from being a lurker on this thread to an active participant on a journey to less alcohol was a night in mid-Jan when I was at a party with some parents from school with my husband and I just kept pouring drinks for myself - probably consumed more than a bottle on my own, and ended up the next morning with a headache, a fuzzy memory, and those all too familiar feelings of regret - what did I do, did I embarrass myself, why did I let myself go too far, no one else seems to have these problems. So I decided to take action.
At first I just said “I’m going to drink less, try not to drink so often” but I wasn’t very specific. And I was somewhat successful with the help of the supportive folks in this group back in January. It was a struggle on some days and I had internal debates between my drinking brain and my sober brain. I was tracking my drinking days, my AF days and my drinks (still am) on a tally sheet next to my bed. I wasn’t drinking every day but it definitely felt like a struggle for a lot of them.
Then something clicked for me, I think around March, and I started taking the same approach as I did with tracking my food when I first joined MFP about 5 years ago. I don’t have to cut out all the things I enjoy, I just can’t have as much as I want or as often as I want - I need to be mindful, work it in, and listen to my body cues as well as social cues. I started paying more attention to how others behaved in social drinking situations, realizing that I had always been the one pouring another glass, opening another bottle - that my friends were content to sit around a table talking, with one or two drinks for the whole evening, and that an open bottle of wine can be re-corked and not consumed. I started noticing that I could drink just one glass with my meal and look forward to tea before bed instead of more wine. That on nights when there wasn’t a social event or a special family meal that I was perfectly content with water for dinner, tea before bed and using the calories on dessert, or saving them up for weekend fun like donuts for breakfast and a big Sunday dinner too. I’ve had more tea and more desserts in the last 10 months than I’ve had in years!
Once the alcohol became just another thing that I worked into my regular approach to health, weight management and moderation, it became pretty simple. I’m definitely still drinking more than those who are really committed to going AF but I feel in control of the choices and the consumption and am mindfully moderating instead of mindlessly drinking.
The reason I decided to post today after a hiatus is that I was over at the same house with some of the same friends last night, after a school event (trunk or treat). In years past I would have put some baileys in my coffee cup for the event, and then continued with wine once we got home.
Last night - we did have a Mom gathering planned and joked about needing our flasks for the event and then hurrying up to get the kids situated with a movie so we could “wine and whine” with tasty food planned as well. So in preparation I thought - well, I do know I want to have some wine with the moms later, so it’s silly to pretend I need a drink to get through a school function - plus not the most responsible thing! I didn’t bring my baileys, and I made yummy appetizers and brought one nice bottle of wine to share after we got together. Over the course of the evening we consumed a total of 4 bottles of wine amongst 8 women. I was the first one to get a water glass and practiced one of my tricks to drink a full glass of water in between every wine refill. I realized I didn’t have to pour a full glass, it’s ok to just pour a half glass and then decide if you want more (sometimes I did, and then I didn’t). It was more about the socializing and we had some great empowering discussions about the challenges of being career focused and Mom focused in a way too busy life - and the answer wasn’t “drink more wine to get by” even though that’s what I had previously believed was necessary. We laughed and ate great food, and drank a little wine, no one drank a lot. I stayed after to help clean up, having stopped drinking more than an hour earlier, put a cork in an open bottle and left it for the hostess to enjoy later.
I texted my husband to say “on my way” before I left the friends house and he said “you sure you’re ok to drive do you want an Uber” and I could say with complete confidence that I was totally good. Came home, had a tea, logged my food and drinks, and though it was a late night I feel really good this morning AND I remember all the great conversations, the laughter, the empowering strong women, the yummy food, and the lovely 2.5 glasses of wine I had.
It seemed fitting to share the difference between one of the nights that started my experience here, and the same environment and outcome 10 months later. Some may feel like this mindful moderation thing is more work than just abstaining, but for me it works well. I no longer feel like I’m trying that hard, I don’t have the internal debates, don’t look ahead to when my next drink will be, don’t feel guilty if I decide that on a Tuesday night I do want one glass of wine even though it wasn’t my plan, I just adapt the plan.
Sorry for the long post... I’ve been reading along in this thread and the sober squad and I’m so glad that so many are doing well, no matter your approach toward achieving your goals.
Heading out for a day filled with kid activities and planning for a pumpkin beer and some chili later tonight now that fall weather is here. Happy Saturday all!19 -
Last night out of the blue a married friend couple contacted my husband and I. Omg.... it had been 4 years since we had seen them my husband and I had calculated as soon as we saw the text and before we texted them back.
Later that night we called them. Hashing over this and that and saying they should come to our town it has been 4 years since they were down this way.
SILENCE on the other end of the phone. What? they said, we saw you two years ago down there. NOoooooo we responded, you have not been here for FOUR years. Well long story short....hubby and I had been out in town two years ago having way to much fun (drinking like fishes going bar to bar). From what we were told by our friends we did all run into each other that night because they had pictures to prove it. And sent them to me.
UGH, SO EMBARRASSING even though I had no idea, no memory what so ever. I told them, well you know I used to drink very heavy. That is a part of my past and I want to make up for that blackout night to you both. They were shocked and tried to assure me I did not drink to much.
I am even surprised they contacted us. My husband is still in denil and says there is no way they were here, because he says we would have remembered. Well...obiously they were here and we were out of control and they have pics to prove it. Maybe I could handle that news better if I were only in my early 20's. But at 55+ it is a hard pill to swallow.
Another reason for me to have less less less alcohol.
Very thankful for this accountability.
Oh my heart hurts for the two of you. I am so proud of your commitment to drink less.
We lost a set of couple friends bc of our drinking - my husband is in denial about this, too.
Stay strong!!!0 -
Craving tonight. First cravings in 13 days.
Fighting it hard!!!8 -
WinoGelato wrote: »........ It seemed fitting to share the difference between one of the nights that started my experience here, and the same environment and outcome 10 months later. Some may feel like this mindful moderation thing is more work than just abstaining, but for me it works well. I no longer feel like I’m trying that hard, I don’t have the internal debates, don’t look ahead to when my next drink will be, don’t feel guilty if I decide that on a Tuesday night I do want one glass of wine even though it wasn’t my plan, I just adapt the plan.
Sorry for the long post... I’ve been reading along in this thread and the sober squad and I’m so glad that so many are doing well, no matter your approach toward achieving your goals.
Heading out for a day filled with kid activities and planning for a pumpkin beer and some chili later tonight now that fall weather is here. Happy Saturday all!
Great post and congrats!
Yes - agreed - successful moderation is completely / totally possible for those that choose to take that path.. I am one of them as well. For those who have a true addition problem with it are another story altogether. Those (hopefully) are in the Sober Squad and are taking those necessary next steps.
Moderating alcohol is possible the same way moderating donuts are. Had 3 donuts this past week. First donuts I had in years. Probably will be another year or more before I have another.1 -
WinoGelato wrote: »Here’s a long post from me - since I know there are some new participants and maybe trying to figure out how to navigate a world of moderation rather than excess and I haven’t posted in a while.
My approach is “mindful moderation”. Prior to starting in this group in January I was a daily drinker, and I didn’t think an excessive drinker at the time, but when I reflected I realized I was definitely drinking more than I should. And it was just too easy for 1 to turn into 2 to turn into 3 glasses of wine, whether it was a weeknight or weekend. The point when I realized I needed to go from being a lurker on this thread to an active participant on a journey to less alcohol was a night in mid-Jan when I was at a party with some parents from school with my husband and I just kept pouring drinks for myself - probably consumed more than a bottle on my own, and ended up the next morning with a headache, a fuzzy memory, and those all too familiar feelings of regret - what did I do, did I embarrass myself, why did I let myself go too far, no one else seems to have these problems. So I decided to take action.
At first I just said “I’m going to drink less, try not to drink so often” but I wasn’t very specific. And I was somewhat successful with the help of the supportive folks in this group back in January. It was a struggle on some days and I had internal debates between my drinking brain and my sober brain. I was tracking my drinking days, my AF days and my drinks (still am) on a tally sheet next to my bed. I wasn’t drinking every day but it definitely felt like a struggle for a lot of them.
Then something clicked for me, I think around March, and I started taking the same approach as I did with tracking my food when I first joined MFP about 5 years ago. I don’t have to cut out all the things I enjoy, I just can’t have as much as I want or as often as I want - I need to be mindful, work it in, and listen to my body cues as well as social cues. I started paying more attention to how others behaved in social drinking situations, realizing that I had always been the one pouring another glass, opening another bottle - that my friends were content to sit around a table talking, with one or two drinks for the whole evening, and that an open bottle of wine can be re-corked and not consumed. I started noticing that I could drink just one glass with my meal and look forward to tea before bed instead of more wine. That on nights when there wasn’t a social event or a special family meal that I was perfectly content with water for dinner, tea before bed and using the calories on dessert, or saving them up for weekend fun like donuts for breakfast and a big Sunday dinner too. I’ve had more tea and more desserts in the last 10 months than I’ve had in years!
Once the alcohol became just another thing that I worked into my regular approach to health, weight management and moderation, it became pretty simple. I’m definitely still drinking more than those who are really committed to going AF but I feel in control of the choices and the consumption and am mindfully moderating instead of mindlessly drinking.
The reason I decided to post today after a hiatus is that I was over at the same house with some of the same friends last night, after a school event (trunk or treat). In years past I would have put some baileys in my coffee cup for the event, and then continued with wine once we got home.
Last night - we did have a Mom gathering planned and joked about needing our flasks for the event and then hurrying up to get the kids situated with a movie so we could “wine and whine” with tasty food planned as well. So in preparation I thought - well, I do know I want to have some wine with the moms later, so it’s silly to pretend I need a drink to get through a school function - plus not the most responsible thing! I didn’t bring my baileys, and I made yummy appetizers and brought one nice bottle of wine to share after we got together. Over the course of the evening we consumed a total of 4 bottles of wine amongst 8 women. I was the first one to get a water glass and practiced one of my tricks to drink a full glass of water in between every wine refill. I realized I didn’t have to pour a full glass, it’s ok to just pour a half glass and then decide if you want more (sometimes I did, and then I didn’t). It was more about the socializing and we had some great empowering discussions about the challenges of being career focused and Mom focused in a way too busy life - and the answer wasn’t “drink more wine to get by” even though that’s what I had previously believed was necessary. We laughed and ate great food, and drank a little wine, no one drank a lot. I stayed after to help clean up, having stopped drinking more than an hour earlier, put a cork in an open bottle and left it for the hostess to enjoy later.
I texted my husband to say “on my way” before I left the friends house and he said “you sure you’re ok to drive do you want an Uber” and I could say with complete confidence that I was totally good. Came home, had a tea, logged my food and drinks, and though it was a late night I feel really good this morning AND I remember all the great conversations, the laughter, the empowering strong women, the yummy food, and the lovely 2.5 glasses of wine I had.
It seemed fitting to share the difference between one of the nights that started my experience here, and the same environment and outcome 10 months later. Some may feel like this mindful moderation thing is more work than just abstaining, but for me it works well. I no longer feel like I’m trying that hard, I don’t have the internal debates, don’t look ahead to when my next drink will be, don’t feel guilty if I decide that on a Tuesday night I do want one glass of wine even though it wasn’t my plan, I just adapt the plan.
Sorry for the long post... I’ve been reading along in this thread and the sober squad and I’m so glad that so many are doing well, no matter your approach toward achieving your goals.
Heading out for a day filled with kid activities and planning for a pumpkin beer and some chili later tonight now that fall weather is here. Happy Saturday all!
@WinoGelato awesome mindful moderation!! 🎉🍁🙌🏻1 -
Hi everyone! I’ve just stumbled across this thread and I’m so glad I have! I’m doing sober October, so I’m on day 14 and really fancy a glass of wine tonight, so instead, I’m going to go to bed really early! Ha ha! Good luck to everyone here! X8
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Today I went shopping and bought an Ab Roller, not a bottle of wine. My middle daughter said "Don't fall off it and break your nose".
A supportive family is a wonderful thing....
Hoping everyone was able to keep their promises to themselves. If we slip, tomorrow is always a fresh start, with knowledge gained.
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I've lately been having a dash of bitters in my glass of juice and mineral water in the evening because I want to use up the bottle (it's taking ages!).
Let's not debate whether that makes me a drinker or a non-drinker.
1 -
Good morning group.
Welcome to our new posters. Always wonderful to have more followers.
@WinoGelato thank you for saying what so many of us have experienced along with you during this year. You bring such great insight with your posts. I am so happy your doing so well.
@orphia you will never get a debate from us. 🤗 I had a cake recipe that always called for bitters, not real sure how it changed the flavor. And after 30 years I still have that bottle to. Lol
@Beka3695 we all go through a craving of some sort now and then. We are human. Hope you handled it well.
Saturday night I had an unplanned glass of prosecco while out. It was no big deal. But I would have rather been offered it earlier in the evening instead of an hour before sleep. Still I did sleep well thank goodness.
October is half way over for those who are counting. Have a successful day and week.
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Ok, so the drinking in moderation is going well this month. I'm having couple of drinks on fridays and saturdays and nothing midweek. I'm finding I'm getting a similar buzz now from a couple of glasses to what I used to get from an entire bottle! I've also noticed though that I appear to have developed a sweet tooth since I stopped drinking so much. Hmm
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Ok, so the drinking in moderation is going well this month. I'm having couple of drinks on fridays and saturdays and nothing midweek. I'm finding I'm getting a similar buzz now from a couple of glasses to what I used to get from an entire bottle! I've also noticed though that I appear to have developed a sweet tooth since I stopped drinking so much. Hmm 1
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I did well Saturday
Sunday was another story... I binged!3 -
Another weekend successfully navigated - well done everyone. I even abstained when my gf was drinking! I kept myself busy and did lots of exercise which really helped, but must admit one moment when someone was drinking red wine on TV almost made me crack - I was literally salivating. Fortunately gf didn't have any in and I resisted going out to get some. That made me remember just how much I enjoy a really nice drink but how it's all been about volume of late.
I'm planning to completely abstain for another 10 days, (along with clean eating), and intending to go for quality over quantity when I do resume. I've got a potentially difficult pub social night on Wednesday to get through - not sure yet whether to "fake it" with alcohol free beers or confront it head on and try to resist the inevitable peer-pressure. Otherwise the rest of my calendar should be manageable - a couple of lunches and I might be out on Thursday night but that group aren't big drinkers.5 -
Wow it is quiet here
Hope you all doing fine and are sticking to your goals.
As for me I'm doing good so far. My plan is to drink only during social events. Had 2 this month. Need to work though on quantity of glasses because I feel like sleeping all day after and it is such a waste of time.
My coworker (all the summer we had a ritual to stock up with wine on Fridays 5-6 bottles) is following my footsteps. I must say it is very flattering and motivating to be a good example.
Have a great day everyone!6 -
Major fail Wednesday night - Sadly I'd already given up on the idea by the time I got to the pub and ended up having way too much. Repercussions lasted into yesterday with feeling terrible and not able to stomach a proper meal (nor having the energy to prepare one) and therefore snacking all day!
Anyway, reset today. Decided going to give moderation rather than AF a proper go - quality over quantity. Going to try to limit my drinking to two nights a week, and then try to limit my drinking on those nights too. My problem is it's I don't have an off switch once I get past drink #3. I will definitely drink more water whilst I'm out so as not to feel so bad the following day! Next Saturday may be an exception as know that'll be a big drinking night (annual Halloween pub crawl!).
Hope you all have a good day and weekend, x4 -
Checking in as well. Been an AF week, the only cave I had was spontaneous snaking one night and I blame it on watching late night football. Lol.
I wanted to say to @dkabambe there is a saying- You take the first drink, that drink takes a drink and then the next drink takes you. I hope you are feeling better. Hangovers absolutely suck. I know, I have had my unfortunate share in the past.
We are all pretty close to the end of this month. Keep strong.4 -
Well....it's hard to track wine when it's coming out of a box, lol. Unfortunately, the best measuring device is how crappy I feel--I think about 20 ounces worth. I feel like I need to throw myself into something at night so I don't throw wine into me. I just haven't found that something yet. Has anyone taken up a new hobby at night to partially replace the hobby of drinking?1
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Hey everyone! I’m on day 19 with no alcohol! Can’t bloody believe I’ve gone this long! I’m meeting a friend for coffee tonight, going for a meal tomorrow with only soft drinks! Hoping you all have a great weekend whatever you’re doing! Fingers crossed I can stick to no alcohol at all! Eeeeeeeekkkkk! 😃😃 xx6
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I just saw this post and it’s so helpful to read through all your comments. I need to cut back and moderate better. I’m a work in progress 4
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On the MFP Blog today there is a article about improving your immune system to prepare for flu season.
"Tipping back a few too many — or even one more than you planned — can have a ripple effect that results in dehydration and poor sleep, the two immune boosters you need the most, according to Dr. Joshua Scott, primary care sports medicine physician at Cedars-Sinai Kerlan-Jobe Institute in Los Angeles.
“Alcohol clears the body usually after five or six hours, but you have to keep the longer-term effects in mind when thinking about your health,” he says. For example, you might make unhealthy food choices, sleep less than you planned and skip workouts, which can all have a negative effect on your immune system."
It also mentions how healthy habits build on each other.
Just like a bad habits build on each other... A couple of drinks cause a worse sleep which causes snacking and no exercise.
The trick is when to break the cycle.
Hopefully in here people are learning how.5 -
mainelylisa wrote: »Well....it's hard to track wine when it's coming out of a box, lol. Unfortunately, the best measuring device is how crappy I feel--I think about 20 ounces worth. I feel like I need to throw myself into something at night so I don't throw wine into me. I just haven't found that something yet. Has anyone taken up a new hobby at night to partially replace the hobby of drinking?
1. Measure the amount your glass holds by filling the glass with water then pouring the water into a measuring jug. Then use the same glass to drink wine from.
2. I found that drinking really didn't take up any time. I just do what I normally do which is go online. Instead of sipping wine I sip sparkling mineral water with a bit of fruit juice. Instead of the "reward" of alcohol at the end of the day, the reward was being kind to myself, better sleep, less headaches, more productivity and creativity. See the bit about "Tomorrow You" in the OP.
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Hello,
I have decided to go AF for the rest of the year. Looking forward to the rewards of better sleep and hopefully lots of pounds lost.
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I'm on day 23 AF...yay! Yesterday afternoon, my husband brought our friends over for a few drinks but I stuck with green tea and still had a great time. The only thing I asked them to do was to take the partial bottle of leftover wine home with them because having an open bottle of my favorite wine would be a downfall for me. As far as weight loss, it's only been 3 lbs so far, but the wine belly seems to be shrinking a bit. 7
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