Weird weight loss problem
LKArgh
Posts: 5,178 Member
I am looking for any ideas on what might be going on. Telling me I am just not patient enough is ok too 
My daughter is 15 years old and marginally overweight, with a BMI of 25.
She is not very active in her daily life, but she swims competitively with training sessions 3 times per week, 90-120 minutes each. She used to be in martial arts before this. So I think exercise wise she is ok.
Her weight is not all fat, she definitely has muscle, which she is actually annoyed about as it is visible in arms and backs.
Anyway, she was theoretically trying to lose weight, and I say theoretically, because while she has cleaned her diet a lot during the summer, she is a person who eats out of boredom, and while constantly snacking on fresh fruit is better health-wise and calorie-wise than snacking on junk food, still calories add up.
A couple of weeks ago, we visited a specialist because she was complaining of pain on the bottom of her foot. It turns out there is an anatomical problem which in combination some intense exercises have caused inflamation. In additions to medication and stretching exercises, the dr has strongly recommended that she loses about 10 kgr, to drop to the lower end of healthy BMI and stay there, as weight will make her problem worse.
So, the last 15 days, I am preparing all her meals, and I am counting calories for her, as the pediatrician feels it is dangerous to have a teen calorie counting.
By my estimations from all tdee calculators I have found, she needs about 2000-2200 calories to maintain.
We have started with an initial goal of 1500-1600, thinking that we might need to increase this a bit after a few weeks, in agreement with her pediatrician.
She has been now doing this for 15 days. She has not lost at all, not 100 grams. She has actually gained half a kilo.
I cannot show a diary, because I keep her meals in an excel sheet. Everything is counted with a food scale, homemade, except a granola bar she eats daily as mid day snack and a fruit she eats in the afternoon, there I go by average size.
Any ideas what I am missing here?
Her dr ordered thyroid tests, and we are waiting for the results this week.
I do not think she is cheating, she is really worried about her foot and not being able to do normal things, like walking a few blocks, without painkillers. She takes no money at all to school, by her choice, so she is not tempted to eat anything she has not brought from home. About once a week she goes out with friends, and she has asked for my help to plan ahead what she can drink/eat, to not go above her calories.
My daughter is 15 years old and marginally overweight, with a BMI of 25.
She is not very active in her daily life, but she swims competitively with training sessions 3 times per week, 90-120 minutes each. She used to be in martial arts before this. So I think exercise wise she is ok.
Her weight is not all fat, she definitely has muscle, which she is actually annoyed about as it is visible in arms and backs.
Anyway, she was theoretically trying to lose weight, and I say theoretically, because while she has cleaned her diet a lot during the summer, she is a person who eats out of boredom, and while constantly snacking on fresh fruit is better health-wise and calorie-wise than snacking on junk food, still calories add up.
A couple of weeks ago, we visited a specialist because she was complaining of pain on the bottom of her foot. It turns out there is an anatomical problem which in combination some intense exercises have caused inflamation. In additions to medication and stretching exercises, the dr has strongly recommended that she loses about 10 kgr, to drop to the lower end of healthy BMI and stay there, as weight will make her problem worse.
So, the last 15 days, I am preparing all her meals, and I am counting calories for her, as the pediatrician feels it is dangerous to have a teen calorie counting.
By my estimations from all tdee calculators I have found, she needs about 2000-2200 calories to maintain.
We have started with an initial goal of 1500-1600, thinking that we might need to increase this a bit after a few weeks, in agreement with her pediatrician.
She has been now doing this for 15 days. She has not lost at all, not 100 grams. She has actually gained half a kilo.
I cannot show a diary, because I keep her meals in an excel sheet. Everything is counted with a food scale, homemade, except a granola bar she eats daily as mid day snack and a fruit she eats in the afternoon, there I go by average size.
Any ideas what I am missing here?
Her dr ordered thyroid tests, and we are waiting for the results this week.
I do not think she is cheating, she is really worried about her foot and not being able to do normal things, like walking a few blocks, without painkillers. She takes no money at all to school, by her choice, so she is not tempted to eat anything she has not brought from home. About once a week she goes out with friends, and she has asked for my help to plan ahead what she can drink/eat, to not go above her calories.
11
Replies
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Is everything she eats, under your supervision?8
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kommodevaran wrote: »Is everything she eats, under your supervision?
I hope so. I am not watching her eat, but I leave things in portions, and tell her what she is supposed to eat. She can eat a fruit of her choice, but I doubt the extra few calories between a banana and an apple are really the problem.4 -
It sounds like you're doing everything right, so maybe the TDEE is incorrect for her. Lowering the calorie goal may be worth a shot.4
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You posted a very similar post about her in August regarding kargecarms and back.
I question if she wants to lose weight or if you're (possibly unintentionally) pushing this on her. A 15 year old can track their own food and exercise, if they want. They do not need a parent to keep a spreadsheet. They do need parental guidance and support to build self esteem and moral character.
Ultimately, I suspect she's probably eating more without your knowledge - During school, after school, before practice, at friends' houses. There is food everywhere for teenagers and all her peers are probably consuming. I doubt she is refraining, but that's just a theory.
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It could be that she's retaining water (is it her TOM?), it might possibly be the thyroid thing, it could be some weird teenage hormone stuff - she's probably still growing, right?
My humbly given advice would be that you wait another two weeks before getting too concerned. I'd also suggest that you reassure your daughter as much as you can, remind her that weight loss is unpredictable, and maybe share with her some of the scale fluctuation and non-linear-weight-loss information from this forum.
(Somewhat parenthetically
- as someone who used to be a teenager, and had a mom who was the mom of a teenager, I very strongly suggest that you continue to trust her about what and how much she is eating; and that you avoid giving her the idea that you might mistrust her if you can possibly help it.)
Good luck, and may the scale fluctuations be in your favor.13 -
funjen1972 wrote: »You posted a very similar post about her in August regarding kargecarms and back.
I question if she wants to lose weight or if you're (possibly unintentionally) pushing this on her. A 15 year old can track their own food and exercise, if they want. They do not need a parent to keep a spreadsheet. They do need parental guidance and support to build self esteem and moral character.
Ultimately, I suspect she's probably eating more without your knowledge - During school, after school, before practice, at friends' houses. There is food everywhere for teenagers and all her peers are probably consuming. I doubt she is refraining, but that's just a theory.
I have posted in the past about aesthetics, and actually her complaining about it, but now it is a health issue. My initial idea was to let her keep track of calories, her pediatrician believes she should absolutely not do this. I do not feel she is fat, but I know she is not very happy with her looks. I have not really done much more than offer advice in the past, as it was a matter of appearance, but if the dr wants 10 kilos off and is mentioning long term problems, that is now a different story.
I cannot lock food away, but I do think she is serious about it. Although I am willing to accept she could be cheating if there is no other reasonable explanation. If she is, it is happening in the house, not outside, I am sure about that.2 -
I would let your doctor talk to her--privately.14
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snowflake954 wrote: »I would let your doctor talk to her--privately.
He has. He first talked to her in private, then talked to me about what the goals should be.2 -
snowflake954 wrote: »I would let your doctor talk to her--privately.
He has. He first talked to her in private, then talked to me about what the goals should be.
But seeing as you're doing everything right on your end, he has to confirm that she is too, and I doubt that she'd confess in front of you. If she's sincere, then he would have to drop her calories.7 -
Have you thought of getting a second medical opinion? I can't see anything good out of putting a teen on a diet like that. They are so sensitive and it could be magnified in her mind, and attributed to you in a negative way in her mind forever.
My vote is the Dr. gave you bad advice.. I'd go to other specialists who have better ideas and solutions.21 -
snowflake954 wrote: »snowflake954 wrote: »I would let your doctor talk to her--privately.
He has. He first talked to her in private, then talked to me about what the goals should be.
But seeing as you're doing everything right on your end, he has to confirm that she is too, and I doubt that she'd confess in front of you. If she's sincere, then he would have to drop her calories.
Ah, I see what you mean. Good idea, when we get back her lab results, I will ask the dr to talk in private with her.2 -
IMHO- I feel she could benefit from working the calorie accountability right along with you. She can then see what goes in her mouth, and how it affects her. This site has the APP, and she more than likely has a cellphone? Even if she did the MFP herself, and you continue to do what you are doing. She is 15, and she can be doing the food entries herself on her smart phone.
There are so many more resources now, what with the internet and all. I remember when nutrition info was not even on our foods, or available.She can even track her exercises, everything.
Give it time! Two weeks is just a start.5 -
What's a "kargecarm"? A forum search didn't turn up any results (other than your post), and a google search didn't either.funjen1972 wrote: »You posted a very similar post about her in August regarding kargecarms and back.
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elisa123gal wrote: »Have you thought of getting a second medical opinion? I can't see anything good out of putting a teen on a diet like that. They are so sensitive and it could be magnified in her mind, and attributed to you in a negative way in her mind forever.
My vote is the Dr. gave you bad advice.. I'd go to other specialists who have better ideas and solutions.
I have to agree. The idea of putting a healthy weight girl who is going through puberty and is at a time in her life when eating disorders easily take root on a diet eating only 75% of her nutritional needs is, frankly, a bit whackadoodle. I would talk to a registered dietician who specializes in children before taking the advice of this specialist.26 -
Evelyn_Gorfram wrote: »
What's a "kargecarm"? A forum search didn't turn up any results (other than your post), and a google search didn't either.funjen1972 wrote: »You posted a very similar post about her in August regarding kargecarms and back.
Large arms. The post was about her daughter's arm size.2 -
IMHO- I feel she could benefit from working the calorie accountability right along with you. She can then see what goes in her mouth, and how it affects her. This site has the APP, and she more than likely has a cellphone? Even if she did the MFP herself, and you continue to do what you are doing. She is 15, and she can be doing the food entries herself on her smart phone.
There are so many more resources now, what with the internet and all. I remember when nutrition info was not even on our foods, or available.She can even track her exercises, everything.
Give it time! Two weeks is just a start.
MFP is for adults. It is in the terms of service. The program is not set up to consider the nutritional needs of a teenager. I'm not sure there's even plans in the works to change this.
OP, how long have you been doing this? She's pretty active, so should very easily be losing on that calorie amount. I would not drop it lower or you risk not getting enough base nutrition and creating a bad relationship with food for her that could last a long time. Can you get a referral to a registered dietician when you get the lab results?7 -
Evelyn_Gorfram wrote: »
What's a "kargecarm"? A forum search didn't turn up any results (other than your post), and a google search didn't either.funjen1972 wrote: »You posted a very similar post about her in August regarding kargecarms and back.
Large arms lol3 -
Scanning over this, has anyone talked about the idea that her BMI may be high because she has built up extra muscle from swimming? If the idea that she is overweight comes from looking at the number on a scale (and that's the number that goes into BMI), she might have no problem. If you get her body fat percentage checked, she may be just fine.
https://www.webmd.com/diet/features/body-fat-measurement#1
https://www.webmd.com/diet/features/bmi-drawbacks-and-other-measurements#122 -
I recommend you find a new doctor because I really don't see this working out in your daughter's favor. Your preoccupation with her weight is also concerning. Did you ever speak to a registered dietitian? Did the specialist recommend weight loss for the problem or the pediatrician? What happens if getting to the bottom of a healthy BMI range doesn't solve her problem? Lots of missing info here.25
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ask her if she's eating extra stuff, kids at school share food at lunch especially sugary snacks.2
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If she's not complying, what are you going to do then? Tell school administration to watch her? Tell her friends to scold her if she doesn't eat what you designate for her? Seriously. If she is resentful of your current methodology and eating behind your back, that should be a serious warning sign to stop what you're doing before something more serious happens. As a mom of three daughters, I have a really difficult time understanding how a pediatrician would recommend weight loss and not send you to a registered dietitian in this scenario given the likelihood of it encouraging disordered eating in this age group.
She is still growing and going through puberty and barely overweight. The foot needs to be treated so she can be more active, and the "problem" with her weight will address itself if you're modeling healthy behavior and attitudes about weight and food. If you villainize food to her, this is a path you're going to have a really tough time returning from.
This doesn't seem right to me at all and you shouldn't be consulting strangers on the internet about it given your previous history of posting about your preoccupation with her weight. Warning flags all around.33 -
DomesticKat wrote: »I recommend you find a new doctor because I really don't see this working out in your daughter's favor. Your preoccupation with her weight is also concerning. Did you ever speak to a registered dietitian? Did the specialist recommend weight loss for the problem or the pediatrician? What happens if getting to the bottom of a healthy BMI range doesn't solve her problem? Lots of missing info here.
Both drs. The pediatrician has been telling her she should lose a bit of weight for at least one year. The specialist does not know the pediatrician, so they are not influencing each other.2 -
ask her if she's eating extra stuff, kids at school share food at lunch especially sugary snacks.
She says no. They do not have lunch at school, they have a late lunch at home. They have a snack at school, but she has chosen to not take any cash at school and just bring something from home, mainly because she does not like the choices at school (really limited selection).2 -
DomesticKat wrote: »I recommend you find a new doctor because I really don't see this working out in your daughter's favor. Your preoccupation with her weight is also concerning. Did you ever speak to a registered dietitian? Did the specialist recommend weight loss for the problem or the pediatrician? What happens if getting to the bottom of a healthy BMI range doesn't solve her problem? Lots of missing info here.
Both drs. The pediatrician has been telling her she should lose a bit of weight for at least one year. The specialist does not know the pediatrician, so they are not influencing each other.
Yeah I'm sorry but I'm calling BS on this. For a child who is still growing and active and barely overweight, I don't buy this. I don't buy that they wouldn't come up with a treatment plan to help her be more active without counting calories first. Get a new pediatrician and see a registered dietitian and stop consulting strangers on the internet about your child.24 -
DomesticKat wrote: »If she's not complying, what are you going to do then? Tell school administration to watch her? Tell her friends to scold her if she doesn't eat what you designate for her? Seriously. If she is resentful of your current methodology and eating behind your back, that should be a serious warning sign to stop what you're doing before something more serious happens. As a mom of three daughters, I have a really difficult time understanding how a pediatrician would recommend weight loss and not send you to a registered dietitian in this scenario given the likelihood of it encouraging disordered eating in this age group.
She is still growing and going through puberty and barely overweight. The foot needs to be treated so she can be more active, and the "problem" with her weight will address itself if you're modeling healthy behavior and attitudes about weight and food. If you villainize food to her, this is a path you're going to have a really tough time returning from.
This doesn't seem right to me at all and you shouldn't be consulting strangers on the internet about it given your previous history of posting about your preoccupation with her weight. Warning flags all around.
I do not know how this works where you live, where I am dieticians do not have a very good reputation to be honest and drs rarely recommend them. The pediatric hospital does have a nutrition department, but appointments take forever plus they are supposed to address really serious problems, they are not there to help you lose a few kilos. The specialist we consulted works in the hospital and he told us he sees no reason to not just work on this at home by good all fashioned cutting calories, and the pediatrician also told us to take some time until Christmas to see if she will adjust to cutting calories a bit and if we see no change, then make an appointment.5 -
I call *kitten*.
A doctor thinks an active fifteen year old needs to lose 10kgs (22lbs) because of a sore foot? 10kgs is just vanity weight and in a fifteen year old is just "puppy fat" needed by the body as it goes through the hormonal roller coaster ride of becoming a woman.
A doctor recommends weight loss for a sore foot as opposed to rest and recovery?
And lastly, a doctor doesn't think a FIFTEEN year old is capable of handling the responsibility of tracking calories.
Honestly, you sound like YOU have a problem with your kid's, perfectly normal, weight.
I apologise if I am wrong. If the situation is really as you say, I recommend giving the control to your kid and you support her. Anything else is just setting her up for body/food issues.22 -
You attibute your daughter's lack of weightloss to some kind of magic/airborne calories, and believe a meticulously calculated meal plan - and asking strangers - is the solution? I think there is simply a communication/trust/empathy issue here. She doesn't trust you, and you can't pick up that she's lying, and your doctor gives bad advice. Poor girl. And not an easy problem to fix.12
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Yeah this doesn't pass the sniff test. Being antsy and impatient for your teenage daughter to lose weight is strange. I'm also having a hard time believing that a pediatrician advised you to control your teenage daughter's eating so she can get to the 'low end' of a normal BMI.
Not that this matters because this whole situation is weird and inappropriate imo, but she probably is eating more and truly thinks it's not enough food to be worth remembering and reporting. Adults are extremely bad at accounting for everything they eat so I imagine a teen would be even worse about remembering the random cookie, bag of chips, etc.11 -
DomesticKat wrote: »If she's not complying, what are you going to do then? Tell school administration to watch her? Tell her friends to scold her if she doesn't eat what you designate for her? Seriously. If she is resentful of your current methodology and eating behind your back, that should be a serious warning sign to stop what you're doing before something more serious happens. As a mom of three daughters, I have a really difficult time understanding how a pediatrician would recommend weight loss and not send you to a registered dietitian in this scenario given the likelihood of it encouraging disordered eating in this age group.
She is still growing and going through puberty and barely overweight. The foot needs to be treated so she can be more active, and the "problem" with her weight will address itself if you're modeling healthy behavior and attitudes about weight and food. If you villainize food to her, this is a path you're going to have a really tough time returning from.
This doesn't seem right to me at all and you shouldn't be consulting strangers on the internet about it given your previous history of posting about your preoccupation with her weight. Warning flags all around.
I do not know how this works where you live, where I am dieticians do not have a very good reputation to be honest and drs rarely recommend them. The pediatric hospital does have a nutrition department, but appointments take forever plus they are supposed to address really serious problems, they are not there to help you lose a few kilos. The specialist we consulted works in the hospital and he told us he sees no reason to not just work on this at home by good all fashioned cutting calories, and the pediatrician also told us to take some time until Christmas to see if she will adjust to cutting calories a bit and if we see no change, then make an appointment.
If you hadn't already posted in the past about your preoccupation with your child's looks and weight, I might actually believe this. But I don't. What you're saying just doesn't add up. She needs her injury treated and she needs a parent to model healthy behavior about her body, weight, and food. Telling a child to drop to the bottom of a healthy BMI range without providing any further treatment for her injury or consulting with a dietitian on how to meet her unique nutritional needs as a growing child does not add up. MFP is not intended for use by or for children.21 -
This is probably the strangest thing I have read all day. Children gain and lose weight as they grow, I remember being a little chubby and then shooting up and becoming a string bean many times during my childhood. It seems bizarre to me to put a child on a diet and as a parent to restrict your child... foot problem or not, I'd be getting a second opinion I feel like the weight "issue" is unrelated. If she has a foot problem take her to a podiatrist and see what they can do. Love your child for who she is, if she is happy with her weight quit pressuring her to lose she is her own person.13
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