Quitting Alcohol feels like quitting social life...

73CL350

I've always been a beer drinker.. for the last 15 years or so.

But the last 2 years it has ramped up a lot. Averaging 6-8 beers a day, often 8% IPA's. To me ... cutting back was drinking Coors for a week.

... I know I have to stop... I'm determined to stop ... but my SO drinks heavily ... all my friends drink heavily ... all the social events I go to involve tons of drinking ... and I feel frustrated and unable to escape.

kimny72

This is IMHO one of the hardest parts of breaking a destructive habit. If a big part of your life is built around it, it's not just you that needs to change, and all you can really have control over is yourself.

Would your SO and at least one of your friends be supportive of the change you are making if you asked them for help? Having a couple of allies could be powerful.

I don't have personal experience with this, but wanted to congratulate you on recognizing a change needs to be made Don't be afraid to insist on the life you want and to ask for help. Often we build up the idea of resistance in our minds, but it's amazing how much people will help when we just ask. Best of luck!

countcurt

So, 6-8 beers, typically 8% ABV, per day is the equivalent of 10 drinks per day. That's some pretty heavy drinking.


It's quite possible there are people who drink that much and that frequently who are not alcoholics. I'd guess that's not exactly typical. Let's just say that if you drink that much and surround yourself with people who drink that much in environments where there is that much alcohol available, you may find quitting to be an even bigger challenge than you articulate in your post.

I wish you good luck.

mbaker566

the most fun i have is with my sober friends. they didn't stop having fun when they stopped drinking, they just remember it now and the cops don't get called.
many people change their habits to avoid alcohol. remember that no is a complete answer. you owe no one an explanation.
consider making new/additional friends. meetup.com for example. let your friends know if you think they will be supportive.

but most of all remember that this is about you. you alone will be changing your habits because you are unhappy. there are two threads here that people find support. some are moderating, some are quitting
less alcohol and sober squad

edit: i was a heavy drinker and now am a light weight. many of my friends are true alcoholics and have decades of sobriety. they have gone cold turkey, AA, rehab, found Jesus, etc
we are not a glum lot, i promise.

88olds

In interest of full disclosure, I have a drink now and again.

But there was a time when I was a regular at the local tavern. Then one day I got on the scale and the number was 285 lbs.

Like you, I thought not drinking was going to be the death of fun. What I found was liberation.

Sit down and make a list of everything and anything you might want to do with the time and money you spend on drinking. You can do them. You’ll keep some of your old friends and make some new ones.

It was ackward at first. Turned out that for me drinking was just another bad habit. I had a number of them.

73CL350

Thank you all for reaching out.

Kim,
I posed it to my two best friends as "i am fasting from alcohol as a cleanse"... to be honest i don't know if i'll ever drink again, but it was the best way to position it without seeming judgmental.
as for my SO, she is basically hostile to all of my proposed life changes. it's complicated. i avoid the issue as much as i can.


CountCurt, yeah... every day is harder than the day before, but more than motivated, i feel "woken up" to how i was living... i'll try not to lose sight of that.


Mbaker, i appreciate the insight from a future perspective, I hope over time i can develop new social activities and maybe a new social circle. it's the combination of cravings and lonliness that hit like a double-whammy.


88olds, sounds like a good plan for my weekend... Right now my plan is if I can:
1) no alcohol for 6 months
2) no out to eat lunches for 6 months
and
3) be 12.5% bodyfat by April 1'st

then i replace my 1973 motorcycle with a brand new one. it's a hell of a challenge, but it's a hell of a prize.


Thank you all for reading and responding.

girlwithcurls2

It's tough, but that's an AWESOME reward that you will deserve.

And... that little one that you've got in your arms deserves the best version of you that you've got

73CL350

Thank you gwc

countcurt

73CL350 wrote: »

Right now my plan is if I can:
1) no alcohol for 6 months
2) no out to eat lunches for 6 months
and
3) be 12.5% bodyfat by April 1'st

I'd point out that #3 is not a plan, it's a desired outcome. There *is* a difference.

lorrpb

Get involved in another group activity you enjoy or would like to try. like biking, running, hiking, jujitsu, etc. You will be do busy having fun with your new friends you'll have neither the time or desire to drink.

fishgutzy

My last beer was a Bud long neck at the bowling alley bar on Holoman AFB NM on November 16, 1982.
I missed the whole microbrew explosion. But I gained a life.
Another plus? Going out to dinner costs a lot less.
Most people that know me are glad I don't drink.
My wife never saw me drink.
My kids never saw me drink
The list of reasons to stop drinking when you are aware it is an issue includes so may things that one gains. They far outweigh any perceived change in social life.

elisa123gal

It is not a "drunk" thing ... many will try to take act like you're an alcoholic because you enjoy drinking.

Hey.. I quit drinking as part of my weight loss journey. But, honestly, having drinks.. now that I'm at goal weight is wonderful. The real deal is... I had to stop drinking to lose my weight and I used the time to reassess my drinking patterns.

I realized, I just can't drink every single day and be fit and healthy. But, now that I'm at goal weight.. I can drink two to three times a week. I can live with that.

hroderick

To be truthful, I was drinking 6 on the way home Mon-Fri and 12 on both Saturday and Sunday 30 Years ago and was earning a good living, married, buying a house, and raising kids. Living that dream felt (struggling for the right word) shallow. I'll never know where that life would have taken me because I found a better way. We are all children of our Father in heaven who wants to help all of us have joy and peace and love so much that He provided a Savior. Living in the light for 30 years has given me opportunities for personal growth I'd never imagined, genuine friends I can count on for absolutely anything, a practical moral framework for my now grown kids, and a depth of love and trust in marriage that I didn't even know existed back when. Message me if you want to know where to find the first step this direction.

Rocknut53

Everything that has been f***ed up in my life if because of alcohol. From my mother's suicide during a drinking binge, being married to an "in denial" alcoholic for almost 40 years, having a brother that is hard to socialize with because he's a verbally abusive drunk, childhood memories of my parents and their life that was centered around alcohol. Fortunately, the good things in my life outweigh the bad and I've resisted the urge to drink to excess. I drink on occasion, never to excess because it scares me to think the potential is there for me to succumb and just become like them. I've certainly never been the "life of the party" and have turned away friendships with people that don't understand my desire to not drink. I've even had people try to spike my soda so I would "lighten up" a bit. @73CL350 It's hard to make that change to not drinking, but I hope you find the strength to do so, life is too short to waste it being drunk.

73CL350

Well i made it through Friday night. Pretty big hurdle.