Mean girls

Evelyn_Gorfram

sarahlucindac wrote: »

Wow, thanks for all of the great responses, guys!
To answer some questions: we are allowed to wear business casual or scrubs (I work the front desk at an animal hospital). All of the girls at the front wear either things from time to time- yesterday was my first time switching it up. The hospital is privately owned and does not provide an allowance for scrubs. I haven’t purchased any new scrubs during the time that I’ve been losing weight (down 47 lbs since March) and I don’t plan on making that investment until I reach my goal (only 13 lbs left before goal).
I do believe that some of the weird treatment was due to my weight loss- one person even said “I can’t even see you when you turn sideways” but it was said in a weird tone, not friendly and supportive. Some of the girls are a little heavy.
With all that being said, I think the main thing I got from all of your responses was this: I shouldn’t assume their behavior was about me. Maybe they were having a hard day and I took the treatment personally. I’m just in new territory and feeling a little uncomfortable.
I think I’ll go back to the bag lady look for a little while, just until I reach my goal and can afford new scrubs (wearing business casual was probably too bold of a reveal, lol).
I’ll kill ‘em all with kindness and I’m sure in the end it’ll all work out. Thanks for all the support as I tread these new and unfamiliar waters ☺️

You've lost 47 pounds!!! Woot!
And you're a mere 13lbs from goal! Wooty woot woot!


Now that I've said the truly important stuff:

Yeah, if I were the "a little bit heavy" heavy coworker who said, “I can’t even see you when you turn sideways,” that would have been all about me. It would have been code for, "OMG, you've lost all that weight and you used to be heavier than/nearly as heavy as me, and if you can lose weight like that then that just means I really ought be able to lose my weight too, and that just makes me feel even more guilty and miserable about my weight than I already did."

And killing them with kindness is a great idea. It tends to help foster good working relationships and makes you seem like a nice person, but you also get to passive-aggressively dominate the Moral High Ground.

A good killing-with-kindness response to hypothetical coworker me above would be some sort of of compliment: "Hey, did you get a new haircut or something? Your hair looks extra nice today," or "Say, you did a really well with handling that (you can probably think of something, right?)."


A thing to consider is that your rate of weight loss may slow as you get even closer to your goal. If so, you may not want to feel like you're stuck with your old bag-lady scrubs at the same time that you're sweating out that last 5 or 10 lbs. Once you've lost 3 to 5 more lbs, a new set of scrubs that are a tad snug then and will be a tad loose at goal might be a worthy investment.

CSARdiver

Could be a bit of social gravity in vitro. Humans are pattern seeking and get stressed when something changes without notification.

I agree with the consensus - kill 'em with kindness. If someone asks just tell them you're trying something new and needed a change. Don't waste time trying to assume what other people may be thinking.

jennifer_417

Scrubs honestly aren't that expensive. I'm not trying to judge your budget, but where I live you can usually find them at Goodwill for a few dollars. Maybe one or 2 sets to tide you over until you hit your goal weight would help you to feel better.

iam_brandilei

It’s crazy, bc when I lost a lot of weight at first, I met with a girl I knew who is into fitness and she asked if I started getting the comments yet. She basically told me to get ready for things like what you experienced and she was right. I would get little sly / shade comments here and there from those close to me.

Keep doing you & keep up the great work!! 🙂🙂

Machka9

sarahlucindac wrote: »

(wearing business casual was probably too bold of a reveal, lol).

Personally, I'd go with something even bolder.

Live your own life, don't live theirs.

ruqayyahsmum

Wear what makes you happy, sod what they think
I was always the big girl at work and my friendship groups, after the first 50 pounds I knew who I couldn't trust, I'm now over 160 pounds down and yes I've lost friends and relationships have changed but I'm happier in my own skin

Please buy scrubs that fit you.
If I was paying for a private vet I would be taken back by reception staff wearing clothes that don't fit every time I go in, I would be wondering if the company are not paying Thier staff properly

Reception staff are the face of the company, much prefer to see a happy person dressed in nice business casual over a less happy person wearing scrubs that are in danger of falling off

prettygirlstorm1

I would buy some smaller scrubs and let the haters hate!

amgreenwell

Just like in high school mean girls suck. Be proud of what you've accomplished. Get yourself some well fitting scrubs and wear those instead of business casual if that makes you feel better. Never let someone else's attitude or opinion affect yours. You are worth more than that. Be proud of what you've done!!!

plateksamantha737

I have found that most people aren’t jealous, they are struggling. That’s something we all can relate to, I’m sure. When I understood that, it was easier to meet clumsy, judgemental comments with kindness.

kshama2001

earlnabby wrote: »

Another here who thinks you should get a set or two to fit you now. Maybe one pair of pants and 2 coordinating tops. You only have 13 more pounds to go which isn't even a full size for most people. When you reach your goal, you will gave some slightly more comfy scrubs to wear on days when you want to be comfy or you need to wear a t-shirt underneath for extra warmth along with your nice fitting ones.

Another vote for buying scrubs that fit you. Thrift shop?

kshama2001

sarahlucindac wrote: »

I wore “business casual” clothes to work today instead of my hospital scrubs which are waaaaaay too big for me now.
I got a lot of mixed reactions. Some people were normal about it like “oh hey, you look great!” but there were a few girls that treated me differently. I couldn’t figure out why it seemed like they were upset with me until I saw one of them looking me up and down.
Looks like I’ll be going back to being the bag lady in my over-sized scrubs. I can’t deal with people treating me so weird. Ugh. I’m still me, dammit
Have others experienced similar things? I really didn’t anticipate the girls at work to go sideways on me.

When I was little my cousin and a friend of the family cut off their big bushy hippie hair and this freaked me out so much I didn't speak to them for months.

Sure, some of the reaction you got could have been jealousy, but some could have just been due to you looking radically different.

This also happens to people I just know from the beach "I almost didn't recognize you with clothes on."

baconbutt1996

Hun, you did *not* put in all this effort to let other people's spite dictate what you wear. They'll learn to get over themselves soon enough. You do you, and love every moment of it.