New Progress Pic: Down to 133lbs today! From 190lbs

half_moon
half_moon Posts: 807 Member
edited October 2018 in Success Stories
My journey has been long, slow, and mentally challenging. I've put up a few before and after pics, and here is my most recent one -- photos on the right taken yesterday morning. Before and after photos are good therapy for me, because each one gets me closer to closure from my transformation and focused on smaller changes, maintenance goals, and mental health. Because that's the hardest step, and I feel like I'm always working on it. It's hard to experience such a change and not see a huge change every day--and just learn to be okay, finally, with what's in the mirror.

The photos on the left were from my heaviest, in 2011. I weighed 185-190 lbs on my 5'5" frame. On the right, taken yesterday morning, at 133 lbs. I've maintained that weight for a while now, and have been going through the hardest part of the journey: The mental part. Body image and confidence is not anything a scale has given me. The real struggle is acceptance of my body and who I really am, not who I think I should be. I'm still working on it.

I work with a nutritionist now, and my macros are 145c, 50f, and 113p. I've only been doing macros since February, and am happy to answer any questions about them. Macros always scared me because I'm not a math person and it sounded waaaaay too over my head and difficult (I always just did calories in, calories out) but after focusing on macronutrients, I have been more full, lost weight faster, and stopped demonizing food and meals. I come from a history of food abuse, and for me, the feeling of "full" is associated with the feeling of guilt, anger, and self-hate. Still today, I can eat a perfectly healthy meal, and if I'm full, I hate myself. I'm still struggling with those feelings, and staying accountable to eat a certain amount of carbs, fats, and proteins every day helps me in control and allows me to eat more fun meals (and even have cheat meals) when I want without feeling bad, because it fits the macros for the day. It's been a godsend.

For workouts, I was doing crossfit for many years and recently am doing more varied fitness activities, like running, skating, crossfit, and yoga.

For mental health (just as important as the others), I stay encouraged with my before and after photos, I work out, I see my therapist on a monthly basis, and I have removed toxic people and social accounts from my life. I've focused on surrounding myself with positive people who want the best for me, and I them. I listen to my therapist, who is the one who told me to post before and after photos as a way of closure. And I exercise, so that I can see improvements in ways other than the physical appearance, like running a bit faster, lifting a bit heavier, or achieving another fitness milestone.


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Replies

  • Catho36
    Catho36 Posts: 107 Member
    Awesome job, thanks for the inspiration. Well done on your transformation x
  • snowflake954
    snowflake954 Posts: 8,400 Member
    Great work! Best of luck in the future.
  • Mithridites
    Mithridites Posts: 595 Member
    You look great. Your abs are excellent. Well done!
  • swim777
    swim777 Posts: 599 Member
    You look terrific! Congratulations!!!
  • Tic78
    Tic78 Posts: 232 Member
    Wow serious dedication right there, well done 💪
  • jeffrey_ad
    jeffrey_ad Posts: 789 Member
    Great job!
  • christinedlg50
    christinedlg50 Posts: 138 Member
    Thank you soooo very much for sharing! I am same height and weight right now as where you started and my goal is 130 which is my weight before becoming a single mom and going through various big trials and tribulations and putting on 50+ pounds. Your journey has made me feel hopeful today. Thank you so much!
  • peggym4640
    peggym4640 Posts: 156 Member
    Congratulations!!!
  • Tatib4u
    Tatib4u Posts: 11 Member
    Wow girl you did it!!! Great job!
  • mom23mangos
    mom23mangos Posts: 3,070 Member
    Fantastic job!!! I love that you have non-scale and non-physique goals. That will keep you mentally healthy along with your therapist. Congratulations again on all your hard work.
  • half_moon
    half_moon Posts: 807 Member
    Thanks everyone for your encouraging comments! It's so insane to think I'm the one inspiring people when I've been on MFP since 2012 getting inspired by everyone else!
    jenna2cu wrote: »
    Amazing transformation.. may I ask how old you are?

    I'm 29. At my heaviest, I was 23.
  • jdubois5351
    jdubois5351 Posts: 460 Member
    You look absolutely FANTASTIC! Great job, you must be so proud!
  • Anna022119
    Anna022119 Posts: 544 Member
    Wow! You look gorgeous.
  • Bechler77
    Bechler77 Posts: 65 Member
    You look absolutely amazing. Great job!
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