GUIDE TO...FWB

Options
mustacheU2Lift
mustacheU2Lift Posts: 5,844 Member
in Chit-Chat
So many make the most simplest mistakes. Post the how tos, dos or don'ts, and any tips to help those rookies secure their very own fwb.
«1

Replies

  • mustacheU2Lift
    mustacheU2Lift Posts: 5,844 Member
    Options
    Do make the person feel like one of a kind.
  • mustacheU2Lift
    mustacheU2Lift Posts: 5,844 Member
    Options
    Dont say things like will you be mine...too far...

    Instead say...I really enjoy our time together...
  • mustacheU2Lift
    mustacheU2Lift Posts: 5,844 Member
    Options
    Do not have constant sleepovers.

    Need some level of distance.
  • mustacheU2Lift
    mustacheU2Lift Posts: 5,844 Member
    Options
    Bring pizza and wine
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,793 Member
    Options
    CoffeeAndContour wrote: »
    I just sat here for 2 minutes trying to figure out what a fbw was. I broke all the rules and fell in love with mine. If only I had seen this 12 years ago.

    I had to Google fwb. Since my wife is my best friend and the benefits are fantastic, I guess I can qualify to comment.

    In my experience, FWB has a slim chance of success. Someone always cares for the other more. Someone is looking for commitment, while the other is looking for intimate relations without commitment.

    When the relationship ends, and it will, one person is hurt and both parties lose a friend. But just because someone has given an acronym to this type of relationship, doesn't mean that it hasn't been going on forever.



  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,134 Member
    Options
    Some just want sex. Don't push for more and I don't mean moving the relationship from being friends. No gifts. No lovey-dovey crap.
  • SabAteNine
    SabAteNine Posts: 1,866 Member
    Options
    jjpptt2 wrote: »
    Don't.

    ^ this
  • cee134
    cee134 Posts: 33,711 Member
    Options
    Is a friend with benefits better then a friend without benefits?
  • jjpptt2
    jjpptt2 Posts: 5,650 Member
    Options
    That's why benefits without friends is the only way to go.
  • tinak33
    tinak33 Posts: 9,883 Member
    Options
    jjpptt2 wrote: »
    That's why benefits without friends is the only way to go.

    This.
    And even then, sometimes people get the feels.
  • tinak33
    tinak33 Posts: 9,883 Member
    Options
    denny_mac wrote: »
    tinak33 wrote: »
    jjpptt2 wrote: »
    That's why benefits without friends is the only way to go.

    This.
    And even then, sometimes people get the feels.

    Yes, but at least when that ends, you haven't lost a friend.
    I seem to be in the minority among everyone I talk to about this, but I can't even imagine "benefits" with a friend, and remaining just friends.

    I agree. I really don't think that's entirely possible. Someone always gets the feels, and then the friendship is lost.
    I tried that once. And we had an established 18 yrs of friendship, that is now hanging by a thread. We will stay friends because there is so much history, but it's definitely changed the dynamic... and not for the better.
  • slessofme
    slessofme Posts: 7,739 Member
    Options
    Dont be (or try to be) friends, strong boundaries, appropriate expectation setting and source in the right places. A circle of friends is not the right place to look for someone to use just for sex because it's too much work to find it somewhere else. Friends really shouldn't treat friends that way.
  • mustacheU2Lift
    mustacheU2Lift Posts: 5,844 Member
    Options
    tinak33 wrote: »
    denny_mac wrote: »
    tinak33 wrote: »
    jjpptt2 wrote: »
    That's why benefits without friends is the only way to go.

    This.
    And even then, sometimes people get the feels.

    Yes, but at least when that ends, you haven't lost a friend.
    I seem to be in the minority among everyone I talk to about this, but I can't even imagine "benefits" with a friend, and remaining just friends.

    I agree. I really don't think that's entirely possible. Someone always gets the feels, and then the friendship is lost.
    I tried that once. And we had an established 18 yrs of friendship, that is now hanging by a thread. We will stay friends because there is so much history, but it's definitely changed the dynamic... and not for the better.
    denny_mac wrote: »
    tinak33 wrote: »
    jjpptt2 wrote: »
    That's why benefits without friends is the only way to go.

    This.
    And even then, sometimes people get the feels.

    Yes, but at least when that ends, you haven't lost a friend.
    I seem to be in the minority among everyone I talk to about this, but I can't even imagine "benefits" with a friend, and remaining just friends.

    Fwb is typically not with a real friend that you knew prior...in the dating world of apps and such it just means willing to hang out, watch movies, but mainly the benefits.


    ***disclosure no friends and no benefits
  • 73CL350
    73CL350 Posts: 259 Member
    Options
    We're turning into enemies with benefits...

    ...And so we stay in this deranged arrangement
    Nailing 'tween the breaks
    Of these unwavering debates
    Of 'who's the crazy person'?


    https://youtu.be/VsFL17DvOIA
  • Chael2dot0
    Chael2dot0 Posts: 1,189 Member
    Options
    FWB doesn't work in the long run so enjoy it for what it is, when it is. Better to avoid the whoel friend thing, any meaningful conversations, and focus on the benefit only, which can at least extend the time before it blows up.
  • kindalikevelma
    kindalikevelma Posts: 1,337 Member
    Options
    My only advice is that you pick a person that you’re ok with losing. From what I’ve heard, there’s no going back to just being friends.

    But then again, what do I know?

    of0yhhnteqpe.gif

  • tcunbeliever
    tcunbeliever Posts: 8,219 Member
    Options
    For me friendships are generally far more trusting and intimate than any new person I'm dating. So, sex is just like sprinkles on the ice cream, it's great. But my last one was like 20 years ago and we ended up living together and then married, so maybe I'm just not good at FWB...to be fair, I would probably never have chosen to date him, it's only because we were friends that I was even interested in going to bed with him...he's super sweet and I am so lucky, but he's also totally not my type and not someone I would have initially considered attractive on a purely physical level.
This discussion has been closed.

Categories