Self Esteem & Confidence?

lizalmp1234
lizalmp1234 Posts: 311 Member
edited November 29 in Health and Weight Loss
Just curious, I know we are all doing this for better health but is anyone here also trying to lose weight so you can attract the opposite sex and possibly feel better about yourself as well. I’ve reached 30 😫 and I feel like nobody is hitting on me anymore Lol. Sorry for TMI
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Replies

  • counting_kilojoules
    counting_kilojoules Posts: 170 Member
    I'm not really worried about attracting others these days but sure I'm interested in feeling better about myself. I hit the recommended weight range a while ago. I'm still trying to lose but it's vanity weight now really. I think I'll look better if I lose another five kilos so that's what I'm aiming for.
  • lizalmp1234
    lizalmp1234 Posts: 311 Member
    counting_kilojoules wrote: »
    I'm not really worried about attracting others these days but sure I'm interested in feeling better about myself. I hit the recommended weight range a while ago. I'm still trying to lose but it's vanity weight now really. I think I'll look better if I lose another five kilos so that's what I'm aiming for.

    Thank you, and yes, this is what I meant. For feeling better about ourselves and a bit of confidence/self esteem. Congrats on reaching your weight range.

  • funjen1972
    funjen1972 Posts: 949 Member
    Losing weight hasn't gotten me more attention from men, but different types of men give me attention now. I get hit on more by both older and younger men. I also get hit on more by creepers. The average Joe doesn't talk to me as much now. That's just my experience though.
  • dragon_girl26
    dragon_girl26 Posts: 2,187 Member
    Losing weight did help me feel better about myself in the sense that I was able to buy cuter clothes that actually fit (I went from size 18/20 US to size 8/10 US), but it didn't fix my self esteem issues. I think that's a pretty common misconception. I'm over 30, too, and while guys aren't lining up around the block just for the chance to speak to me or anything, the interest from them is still there. Do you walk around looking at your phone a lot? I'm asking because maybe they ARE looking but you have been distracted and haven't noticed.
  • Keep_on_cardio
    Keep_on_cardio Posts: 4,166 Member
    You know, I get it. However so many games that could unfold just to catch someone’s eye, be careful if you’re working on self esteem. You may feel good for a bit, it will mess with your mind if you do this just to catch more attention.
  • makkimakki2018
    makkimakki2018 Posts: 414 Member
    edited November 2018
    Yup... i lost weight to bike faster up hill climbs and it's wonderful to race up hills fast, but i'd be a lying if i said i didn't change myself in hopes of getting hit on as well. There was and still is a small part of me that wants that attention for i was never the popular guy. In my early 30's now just like yourself and fitter than most people yet still no girls hitting on me. Also still getting rejected by the women i pursue. At this point i think im willing to accept ill be alone forever. On the bright side i can buy $15,000 bicycles without having to pay for dates or kids needs. There are ups and downs to being in a relationship as there are not being in one. Juat gotta accepted what life throws at you and make the best of it and be optimistic.
  • FL_Hiker
    FL_Hiker Posts: 919 Member
    edited November 2018
    lizalmp1234 wrote: »
    Just curious, I know we are all doing this for better health but is anyone here also trying to lose weight so you can attract the opposite sex and possibly feel better about yourself as well. I’ve reached 30 😫 and I feel like nobody is hitting on me anymore Lol. Sorry for TMI

    I got fitter for mostly my health, but also a little bit to look better for my husband lol! I also got him into running with me too, which is so much fun 😊. It’s great seeing him feel better and getting outside again to do things together! As far as confidence goes I’m more confident now that I’m exercising regularly because I feel like it has made my mind a little sharper, the running seems to wake me up and helps me think clearer. You’ll find the right person, just focus on being you and becoming a healthier individual !
  • Mr_Healthy_Habits
    Mr_Healthy_Habits Posts: 12,588 Member
    mitch16 wrote: »
    OP, do you want inappropriate DMs? Because this is the way you get inappropriate DMs...

    IC I was close lol
  • MelanieCN77
    MelanieCN77 Posts: 4,047 Member
    smolmaus wrote: »
    Seffell wrote: »
    Hm, why if someone likes slimmer people should be a garbage person? I'm personally put off by overweight and obese men. And I don't feel like I'm a garbage person. Am I?

    We're not talking obese. But anyway, I would be looking at what preconceptions I had about what I thought "slimmer" people had that went away as soon as they gain some body fat.

    It's more that the mindset "if only I lost 20lb he would like me/ I would he happier/ I would be confident" etc etc etc is toxic af and stops people living their real lives. If you discard people who judge you for your bodyfat % first and everything else second you'll be a happier person imo.

    You're not, but we have no idea about OP. Where is the fact that it's just 20lbs between here and there coming from?
  • Sunshine_And_Sand
    Sunshine_And_Sand Posts: 1,320 Member
    I'm married, so I don't care if I get hit on or not. I've been married for several years too, so I don't have much advice or insight on being 30 and single.
    I also don't necessarily think that changing what you don't like about weight/size/shape makes everybody feel better about themselves as they think it's going to. How much it does help is going to be really individualized and probably depends a lot on what issues you had to start with. Self esteem issues should be something you work on anyway regardless if you do or do not want to lose weight.
    That said, I do feel like it is perfectly fine to want to lose weight with looking better being you main or even only focus. As long as you are going about it in a safe way/a moderate deficit and aren't developing an unhealthy mindset about food/eating, I don't see what is so bad about wanting to lose weight with looking better as your goal. The "being healthier" that is typically considered the more "noble" goal will most likely happen too as you are working toward looking better.
    Good luck!
  • smolmaus
    smolmaus Posts: 442 Member
    MelanieCN77 wrote: »

    You're not, but we have no idea about OP. Where is the fact that it's just 20lbs between here and there coming from?

    That's the number I chose in my original post, which was the one responded to. If it's just losing weight for a self esteem boost that's kinda the definition of vanity weight, so 20lb seemed appropriate.

    I suppose choosing not to date/ pursue a person who's additional weight has possible health complications attached to it is a slightly different issue.
  • lizalmp1234
    lizalmp1234 Posts: 311 Member
    Thank you everyone

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