How do you conquer the fear of gaining?

garystrickland357

I'm new to maintenance. After all the work and dedication it has taken to lose 76 pounds I'm afraid of gaining. This is really a mindset issue I know.

The intellectual side of my brain knows to simply add in more calories and monitor my weight trend in the same way I did while losing. I know the scale will fluctuate and I need to maintain within a range. I'm familiar with water weight fluctuations due to exercise stress and increased carb/salt intake at times. I know all that...

But I still have an irrational fear. I don't want to return to that fat, former me. How have you maintainers managed the (irrational) mental aspect of maintenance? I'm sure many if not most of you have gone through what I'm describing. How do you cope?

cmriverside

The only way is to do it.

Keep doing the things that helped you lose the weight, it doesn't change.

Step on the body weight scale the same amount you did when losing. Adjust with trends.

It's just putting one foot in front of the other, day by day. One day at a time.

urloved33

76 lbs lost???? that is fabulous great work gary...no need to be fearful but big need to stay mindful of what you eat...its a consciousness that we cannot afford to let go of.

garystrickland357

cmriverside wrote: »

The only way is to do it.

Keep doing the things that helped you lose the weight, it doesn't change.

Step on the body weight scale the same amount you did when losing. Adjust with trends.

It's just putting one foot in front of the other, day by day. One day at a time.

That's the thing. As I said, the intellectual side of my brain agrees with you and knew the answer before I even posted. It's the emotional, irrational side that is nervous. I just needed to hear from some of y'all with experience. Thanks for responding.

I suppose there's also the realization that losing the weight was actually the easy part. Maintaining for the rest of my life is potentially more difficult - or at least requires constant vigilance.

born_of_fire74

I'm not sure your feelings are irrational. You were once fat without intending to be so it's a fact that it's something that can happen. It's not a fantasy or really very far-fetched at all; it is actually a very common thing for dieters. I'd say this makes it a perfectly rational concern.

This doesn't mean it has to disrupt your life though. I worry about getting fluffy again but it doesn't stop me from doing much unless you count choosing to recomp rather than bulk and cut as "much". I deal with it the same way I dealt with it while losing: by taking it day by day and meticulously observing the good habits I have formed more often than not.

You seem to have all the required knowledge, you just need to get adjusted to and gain confidence in the new way of things. You might find, as I have, that maintenance isn't much different than losing in the grand scheme because, when boiled right down, it's simply a constant process of losing and regaining the same last 5lbs over and over to maintain your preferred weight range.

kgirlhart

Congratulations on your loss and on reaching maintenance! You are definitely not alone in that fear. I'm not really sure I have any good advice since I still struggle with the fear of gaining myself. Mostly I just try to stay active. I know some people will stop logging in maintenance and I have been called "obsessive" by family members who think that I shouldn't still worry about logging my food now that I am no longer trying to lose, but I still log every day. I need to know that my activity is enough for the calories I am eating. I am actually eating more in maintenance than I expected to which kind of makes me nervous because I feel like I eat a lot. I also weigh every day and keep an eye on my trend. And I set a 5 pound maintenance range knowing that my weight will go up and down within that range and not always be just one number. I wish I could say I no longer have the fear of gaining, but I still do. But I try not to worry about it too much. I guess my advice is just to stay active and keep an eye on your trend. And realize that it will just take some time to change your mindset from losing to maintaining.

Styggian

gz on losing 76 pounds, I been on maintenance for a year, finding it difficult, am still trying to find the perfect routine .

All I can say is keep weighing your food and logging, then you can test and adjust any changes you make to your eating habits and fitness routine.

garystrickland357

born_of_fire74 wrote: »

You might find, as I have, that maintenance isn't much different than losing in the grand scheme because, when boiled right down, it's simply a constant process of losing and regaining the same last 5lbs over and over to maintain your preferred weight range.

That way of looking at things is helpful. It sort of defines the struggle. Partly, that it's never ending. Partly, that I should be confident because I know how to lose the weight successfully.

Thanks.

cwolfman13

I think that's pretty normal early on. As time passed, that fear became less and less as I realized that so long as I was maintaining the healthy habits I had learned while losing weight that maintaining my weight was pretty easy. 5.5 years later, I don't really think about it much anymore. I just eat well for the most part and stay active and the rest tends to take care of itself.

Over the years I have gone up and down a bit...in winter I usually put on about 8-10 Lbs because my activity dips, but I don't let it go any more than that. This winter I'm up about 5 Lbs from my maintenance and I'm aiming to hold it at that this year.

As long as you're monitoring the scale, you have full control of your cutoff point...like I said, for me that is 10 Lbs...that's the point where most of my clothes start becoming uncomfortable.

born_of_fire74

A weight trending app helps a lot if you aren't already using one. It looks past the day to day fluctuations and shows whether you are overall gaining or losing which helps you make sensible adjustments rather than getting crazy over that one day your scale was mean and said you put on 5lbs overnight.

garystrickland357

born_of_fire74 wrote: »

A weight trending app helps a lot if you aren't already using one. It looks past the day to day fluctuations and shows whether you are overall gaining or losing which helps you make sensible adjustments rather than getting crazy over that one day your scale was mean and said you put on 5lbs overnight.

Do you have a weight trending app you recommend?

born_of_fire74

garystrickland357 wrote: »

born_of_fire74 wrote: »

A weight trending app helps a lot if you aren't already using one. It looks past the day to day fluctuations and shows whether you are overall gaining or losing which helps you make sensible adjustments rather than getting crazy over that one day your scale was mean and said you put on 5lbs overnight.

Do you have a weight trending app you recommend?

Happy Scale or Libra are both highly recommended

zyxst

Gaining 15# in one year got me over the fear of gaining. I failed. I accepted it. Now I just want to manage a weight that allows me to wear my jeans and good winter coat without busting the zippers.

CarvedTones

I got low in my maintenance range because I was scared of gaining and kept dropping. Finally sort of leveled off and even gained some toward the top of my range. And it didn't kill me or make me let go of the resolve that got me to lose the weight (~65 pounds, so in the ball park but not quite as much as you - great job!). I am up around the top of my maintenance range and it is almost comforting because I know how to lose.

sijomial

Congrats Gary - huge achievement.

I like the Prof Steve Peters (author of The Chimp Paradox etc...) mind model of chimp, human and computer.

At first every fluctuation elicits a chimp response of irrational fear, recognise it as such. Use logic (your human brain) to soothe and reassure the chimp. "Yes chimp I'm up a couple of pounds but we haven't had a 7,000 cal surplus have we?"- trust the maths and the process.
(Do I remember correctly you are a Science teacher? If so, your human brain has some powerful soothing logic.)

The power of repetition and habit isn't to be underestimated. A bit like the first day in a new job or first time you drive a car etc - terrifying! Yet over time it becomes normal. Same really for maintenance - what was once new is now the new normal. It is a skill to be learned and will probably evolve. I've loosened my controls but still periodically review if I've become complacent. If you drift over your range take action - it doesn't need to be drastic and should be considered action. Think about why a drift happened and if it's acceptable or not. Personally there's a seasonal or vacation drift I will accept along with the need to resolve it afterwards,

Vigilance is of course required but not white knuckling emotional fear, maintenance should be a happy state.

garystrickland357

@sijomial Thanks. Yes, I'm a science teacher - which is part of what makes this amusing as I look at the situation from afar. As you say, the logic is there - but so is the chimp brain.

I just needed some reassurance. My chimp brain thanks you. (Your bike rides also inspire me).

lawsonsaysread

I am with you Gary. I am within a few pounds of my goal weight. I lost over 200 lbs. and gained a significant portion back and have lost most of that. I feel strong and fit (except the recent rotator cuff surgery), but I also share your fear of gaining again. I understand the process; I am nervous nevertheless.

hesn92

Just remember that even if you do gain a little weight, it's really not a big deal. you know how to take it back off.

snickerscharlie

Don't get caught up in the minutia. Your weight will fluctuate hourly, daily and weekly. Just like when you were losing weight it's the trend over time that matters. I set a maintenance weight zone for myself. My ideal weight, and then 5 lbs above that. As long as I stay in that range, I'm good. If things are trending outside the range for longer than a few days, I know it's time to tighten up my logging again.

Rinse and repeat.

garystrickland357

I appreciate all of the responses. This community is very helpful.

nowine4me

Gary, amazing job and welcome to maintenance. I’m just wrapping up year two and will tell you I white knuckled the entire first year. Year 2 has been a wee tad easier. My advice..... keep doing exactly what you did to lose the weight with a handful more calories. Keep your foot on the gas until you feel 100% solid (this coming from someone who gained back 75# the first time).

garystrickland357

@nowine4me Thanks. A number of years ago I lost weight and like you gained it back. Yes, this time I have a much better understanding of what I need to do. It just helps to know others had the same fear of gaining it back.

sijomial

nowine4me wrote: »

Gary, amazing job and welcome to maintenance. I’m just wrapping up year two and will tell you I white knuckled the entire first year. Year 2 has been a wee tad easier. My advice..... keep doing exactly what you did to lose the weight with a handful more calories. Keep your foot on the gas until you feel 100% solid (this coming from someone who gained back 75# the first time).

Do you realise you always say "a handful more calories" in posts like these?
That's perhaps a reflection of your personal struggles but isn't universal.

I immediately got to eat an extra 500, that soon became more like 600 as it seemed I had a little adaptive thermogenesis going on.
With increased exercise and activity following retirement I'm eating more like 1000 cals a day compared to my weight loss allowance, that's not a handful - my hands aren't that big!

Mr_Healthy_Habits

By understanding that it's just part of the struggle and if I'm serious about this, it's a part of the struggle I must overcome same as any other aspect...

If I want to keep it off, I have to be able to do it through holidays, through times where I can't workout, through anything life throws at me...

It's all part of it

LivingtheLeanDream

Congrats on losing 76lbs - terrfic job It takes a long time for the head to catch up. Keep doing what you did to lose but now you get to enjoy extra calories. Step on the scale daily/weekly/monthly (whatever you've been used to), and use a trending app. After you have several weeks and then months of data you will start feeling confident in your ability to maintain that loss.

jrwms714

I second the idea of a trending app. I use Happy Scale and it really helps. I am four years into maintenance and I want to add that the fear of regaining is something that is really intense at first, but as time goes on and your mind and body adjust to the fact that maintenance is, as someone said, having a range and bouncing around in it, and going back to loss calories when you go over that range, then the fear diminishes. For me, I want it still there, tucked somewhere in the back of my mind, so that I never feel like:"Well, I'm done and I'm thin and I don't ever have to worry again." That leads to a slippery slope. I bring that fear out again when I have gone over my range and have stayed at that weight for a week or more. Then I use that fear to bring me up short, have me look at what is going on honestly, curb my calories, work out more, and go back to where I need to be. So maybe fear is more about knowing what the reality could be if you allow it? Not sure. But, for me, it's always good to have to it somewhere where I can call it up, look at it, face it, and move on to healthier stuff.

cmriverside

sijomial wrote: »

nowine4me wrote: »

Gary, amazing job and welcome to maintenance. I’m just wrapping up year two and will tell you I white knuckled the entire first year. Year 2 has been a wee tad easier. My advice..... keep doing exactly what you did to lose the weight with a handful more calories. Keep your foot on the gas until you feel 100% solid (this coming from someone who gained back 75# the first time).

Do you realise you always say "a handful more calories" in posts like these?
That's perhaps a reflection of your personal struggles but isn't universal.

I immediately got to eat an extra 500, that soon became more like 600 as it seemed I had a little adaptive thermogenesis going on.
With increased exercise and activity following retirement I'm eating more like 1000 cals a day compared to my weight loss allowance, that's not a handful - my hands aren't that big!

For me the extra calories have changed. When I went into Maintenance in 2008, I had to keep my calories artificially low due to AT, but in about 3-6 months I was able to eat at the predicted amount for my age/weight. I found that out by logging food and logging my body weight. Both are equally important I believe.

A few years on, I was able to eat a good 600 calories per day more than the calculators suggest.

Then I had an adjustment made to my thyroid meds (they had been a little higher than the dose I'm on now) and within three months I had to cut my calories back to the recommended level for my age and weight.

So Maintenance calories shifted for me quite dramatically. I've always used a digital food scale. I weigh myself daily. It's a moving target for me.

garystrickland357

I downloaded the Happy Scale app and I really like the way it works - simple and to the point. I appreciate the suggestion.
@sijomial Do you just eat more of what you normally eat for the increased calories, or did you add an extra snack/meal? I'm wondering because we share the same cycling interest. Did you add extra protein, or a high calorie recovery drink/meal after workouts?

psychod787

I have not posted in the maintainers forum that much recently. Lurking... Kinda like that neighbor ,the one you suspect of looking in your windows, but can never catch them. Lol. I have nothing to add really. I to fear regain, but am LEARNING, i never stop really, is that their is an ideal weight and one that is easier to maintain for each person. It took me a year of maintaining, talking to multiple professionals that have far more knowledge than me, and white knuckling almost every day to start LEARNING that fact. Of course, this is just N=1 here, not everyone has these issues. If I lost 220, and my body is just complety out of whack and after a year there is no help? Well... gaining back 20-30 lbs slowly is not the worst thing. If it makes life a little more bearable and my body a little better, I am of the mindset of it is what it is. I still struggle daily with the idea and get woo'd a lot. Generally not by the long term posters. Congrats on the loss and remember, IMHO, if you lose 75 and regain 5. You still win.

sijomial

garystrickland357 wrote: »

I downloaded the Happy Scale app and I really like the way it works - simple and to the point. I appreciate the suggestion.
@sijomial Do you just eat more of what you normally eat for the increased calories, or did you add an extra snack/meal? I'm wondering because we share the same cycling interest. Did you add extra protein, or a high calorie recovery drink/meal after workouts?

A bit of everything really, larger portions, a lot more snacks, different food choices, have breakfast more often (it's an optional meal for me).
I specifically fuel more rides than I used to (I don't need to fuel rides of up to 2hrs but get a slight performance benefit for the higher intensity ones, longer rides I've always fuelled for).
I keep protein in mind but I think in terms of grams rather than percentages and it's not difficult to get enough with a high calorie allowance. High protein is a bit less important when maintaining compared to when losing weight but my exercise and age makes it sensible to have a high'ish amount.

This time of year takes a little conscious adjustment as my cycling mileage drops dramatically and I have to remember to take that into account (snacks and alcohol are the first things to prune back).
I weigh daily to keep a rough idea of trends.

CarvedTones

I don't do the trending app thing. I have a range big enough that I consider even a spike over the limit to indicate I need to cut for a bit and drop a couple. It could be within a few days that I see it really was that big of a spike and I can chill again. I don't look back at my history much either. That kind of attention to detail over time would be unsustainable for me so I don't do it.