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Interesting Thoughts on "Ghosts"
Packerjohn
Posts: 4,855 Member
Interesting blog post I saw.
You need a ghost. And you need to be afraid of it.
Oh, I know. You ain't scared of nothing, and you still have that "No Fear" shirt from the 1990's to prove it. But I also know that every successful person, in any field, has a ghost or two that haunts them.
A "ghost" is something that follows you around your whole life, nudging you. While you may not exactly be afraid of it, it does worry and weigh on you:
The fear of being broke ghost.
The fear of disappointing those you love ghost.
The fear of becoming your father (or mother, or that bad coach you had once) ghost.
The fear of not accomplishing what you KNOW you're capable of accomplishing ghost.
The fear that your haters are right ghost.
In the health and fitness area, maybe these ghosts look different:
The fear of getting fat (again) ghost.
The fear of being weak ghost.
The fear of not being able to take care of yourself when you get old ghost.
The fear of getting naked in front of someone new ghost.
The fear of swimsuit season ghost.
The fear of getting an easily preventable disease ghost.
The fear of getting gassed when walking up a flight of stairs ghost.
The fear of having toddler arms ghost.
The fear of coming in last place ghost.
The fear of getting an old-man *kitten* ghost.
These ghosts get us out of bed for a morning workout when we'd rather sleep in. They make us work a little harder, be a little more disciplined with our diets, and take a LOT more responsibility in our lives. They "scare" us in the right direction.
It's true, some people probably don't have ghosts. And they're probably *kitten* losers
The fear of not being able to take care of myself when I get old is probably my biggest ghost.
You need a ghost. And you need to be afraid of it.
Oh, I know. You ain't scared of nothing, and you still have that "No Fear" shirt from the 1990's to prove it. But I also know that every successful person, in any field, has a ghost or two that haunts them.
A "ghost" is something that follows you around your whole life, nudging you. While you may not exactly be afraid of it, it does worry and weigh on you:
The fear of being broke ghost.
The fear of disappointing those you love ghost.
The fear of becoming your father (or mother, or that bad coach you had once) ghost.
The fear of not accomplishing what you KNOW you're capable of accomplishing ghost.
The fear that your haters are right ghost.
In the health and fitness area, maybe these ghosts look different:
The fear of getting fat (again) ghost.
The fear of being weak ghost.
The fear of not being able to take care of yourself when you get old ghost.
The fear of getting naked in front of someone new ghost.
The fear of swimsuit season ghost.
The fear of getting an easily preventable disease ghost.
The fear of getting gassed when walking up a flight of stairs ghost.
The fear of having toddler arms ghost.
The fear of coming in last place ghost.
The fear of getting an old-man *kitten* ghost.
These ghosts get us out of bed for a morning workout when we'd rather sleep in. They make us work a little harder, be a little more disciplined with our diets, and take a LOT more responsibility in our lives. They "scare" us in the right direction.
It's true, some people probably don't have ghosts. And they're probably *kitten* losers
The fear of not being able to take care of myself when I get old is probably my biggest ghost.
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Replies
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I was with that right until the part where it called people losers.
It's not that people who aren't addressing issues don't have "ghosts", it's that they have larger issues holding them back from confronting their fear.
Calling them a loser for having issues is counter-productive and mean spirited, imo.
My ghost is my arthritis.21 -
Fear or ghosts don't motivate me in terms of fitness and health. What pushes me, wanting to reach certain goals. And if I don't.. well.. I still end up doing fine so sometimes it's hard to be motivated when doing things half way still gets great results.
But I am scared of things I have no control over. That is terrifying to me.3 -
So many of the things on that list are really counter-productive, especially depending on how much someone worries about them. I also agree criticism about with calling people who don't have xyz "ghosts" (which I think is a really odd way of phrasing that - it doesn't really convey meaning very well) losers.
I could easily say, "some people don't have anxiety - they're probably [enter swear word here] losers" and it would be pretty unproductive, close minded, and inaccurate.4 -
I'm afraid of wasting my life. When I hike to beautiful places, swim outdoors, sit in a meadow in the sun, or ski, that fear goes away for a while. It's not even about the exercise, that's just a bonus.
Before I climbed on rock I thought the hard part would be doing pull-ups all day. But that's not it at all. The hard part is looking down and feeling the monkey part of your brain be afraid, then continuing up. That was hard, but incredible.7 -
I've found that focusing on fears attracts those things to you. You should focus on the things you want, instead.8
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Interesting idea about motivation. I disagree that people who are not motivated by some fear are losers. I think motivation and success can come from positive mental places too.
When I got really serious about taking care of myself it was out of love not fear. I came to a point where I realized I wasn't going down the path I wanted, wasn't feeling good and I deserved better. I don't think that felt like a haunting but an affirmation maybe?3 -
I have a conscience that nags me if I am not behaving at my best. Not sure I would call it a "ghost" or make it sound so negative or dire.1
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GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »I was with that right until the part where it called people losers.
It's not that people who aren't addressing issues don't have "ghosts", it's that they have larger issues holding them back from confronting their fear.
Calling them a loser for having issues is counter-productive and mean spirited, imo.
My ghost is my arthritis.
I've read a few articles from this guy, he has a tough love writing style.
He could have easily substituted "motivation", "reason" or "a why" for ghosts and success for loser. I think that would just made this one of those "oh you have to have a some motivation if you are to succeed at something" articles. Yeah no kidding.
IMO his terms make it stand out.0 -
For me, fear is a terrible motivator: More likely to make me curl up in fetal position and suck my thumb, or turn to numbing agents, than take action. Plus it feels icky; why would I want to feel icky?
I don't think I'm a loser. I don't think fear-motivated people are losers, either.
Melodramatic li'l piece of writing, that, though.
I do consider the ability to care for myself independently long-term a planning focus, though: No spouse, no children, no church.
Somebody told a story (possibly apocryphal?) someplace about their martial arts master, having to do with fear and presumably fighting: "Master so-and-so, you could be killed, aren't you afraid?" "Now is now. Dead is dead. No afraid."
Works for me, and also a melodramatic li'l piece of writing.
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I don't think I have ghosts. Instead, I have positive thoughts.
Instead of dwelling on how I wouldn't like to look, I'm motivated by feeling really good in my clothing.
Instead of fearing coming in last, I think about how great I feel when I finish the race at a good time for *me* (which isn't necessarily related to whether or not I'm the first, 50th, or last person to cross the finish line).
Instead of being worried about getting sick, I'm inspired by how good I feel when I make the time to buy and prepare the foods that make me feel great.
Negative motivation may work for some people, but for me it would be a terrible and fearful way to live. I have enough anxiety about non-health/fitness things -- I don't need to add to it in an area of my life that generally makes me feel happier.
I don't think that people who aren't inspired by negative thoughts or fears are "losers."7 -
In my undergrad days I sat outside a marketing course before one of my molecular bio courses and I distinctly remember one lecture on fear.
The professor boiled all of sales to one concept - that you must identify not a need or want in a consumer, but fear.
All of sales and marketing is based upon a single principle - fear. A fear of not meeting expectations with your peers without that new car, new suit, new shoes. A fear of presenting yourself in anything but perfection. Fear of aging. Fear of poverty. Fear of being alone. Fear of social exclusion. Fear of disappointment. Fear of disappointing others. Fear of not being prepared. Fear of death. Fear of failure. Fear of success. Fear of change.
A rather bleak and singular view on life, but extremely effective. Being honest if we drill down the Why deep enough it often lands in fear.2 -
These comments really echo how I feel:janejellyroll wrote: »Negative motivation may work for some people, but for me it would be a terrible and fearful way to live. I have enough anxiety about non-health/fitness things -- I don't need to add to it in an area of my life that generally makes me feel happier.
I don't think that people who aren't inspired by negative thoughts or fears are "losers."
andFor me, fear is a terrible motivator: More likely to make me curl up in fetal position and suck my thumb, or turn to numbing agents, than take action. Plus it feels icky; why would I want to feel icky?
I don't think I'm a loser. I don't think fear-motivated people are losers, either.
People have different ways to motivate themselves. I definitely have goals and plans, including how to improve my odds of staying active and able-bodied into my old age. But consistently I find that fear tends to result in me getting avoidant, frozen -- it's not a good approach for me.
What works is focusing on the things I can control (I can do my best, I can train, I can be prepared, whatever it is there will be different things) and not obsessing about possible bad things I cannot control (like even being last). When I did my first (and only, so far) half ironman, I was nervous about a lot of stuff -- being last in the swim, crashing my bike, getting timed out (I did the math a bunch and figured it was unlikely, but still), whatever.
As it was, lots of things did go wrong: I got turned around in the swim (I am really bad at swimming without getting turned around) and swam about 50% more than I needed to (still wasn't last, but my time was not good). I did hit some gravel when doing a turn around and fell off my bike (wind was a big issue on the day and they were having trouble keeping the turns clear). I wasn't hurt much and the bike was okay, so no big deal. I was not prepared for how hot and uncovered the run was, and managed to forget to reapply sunscreen post bike (I did have a tee-shirt I added for more cover on my shoulders), and got sunburnt. (In Chicago I mostly run on more shaded paths or sidewalks and in the early morning or evening when it's hot, this was unshaded farm country, with soy on one side, corn on the other, and it was like the hottest day of the year and since a longer tri the run was into the hotter part of the day.) The run was a nightmare, and contrary to my plan I wasn't able to run all of it (I alternated running and walking for the second half) -- I basically would focus on getting to the next water (and ice!) stop, walk while consuming my water, and then pick the next stop (or sometimes any milestone I could find up ahead) and then tell myself I'd just make it to there. Talked to a few people too, while we ran slowly next to each other.
Anyway, while doing it I was kind of laughing to myself about how I was hitting everything I'd been worried about and was not remotely going to make my hoped for time, but I felt great when it was over. I wasn't upset about anything at all, because I'd controlled what I could, and learned a lot for next time.5 -
Reading Lemur's excellent reply brought something to mind regarding fear motivation.
Along the way, I've met several people who liked to machine row, and went at it aggressively, with a competitive attitude. So, I would mention that there are indoor races around here, in Winter, in easy driving distance. Common answer was to ask about race times, as they didn't want to enter if they couldn't finish well.
Personally, I feel like thinking that way will make a person miss out on a lot of fun. That's a form of "losing out" (though I wouldn't call them "losers" as whole people: Jeez, who does that?).
When I feel held back from trying certain things I'd like to do, the reason is almost always fear of bad results (not in a life-threatening or costly way, necessarily, just results that wouldn't soothe my ego: for example, it happens with some art projects; and I've heard others use fear excuses not to take art/craft classes they claim they'd like to take (" . . . but I wouldn't be any good at that.").
Since figuring that out, I've really worked at thinking "what's the worst that could happen?" and going for it, full on. For me, this - which kind of the opposite of fear motivation in the OP's sense - does make life more scary, but a lot more fun.
BTW, if one truly fears being last, I'd recommend avoiding taking up on-water rowing. Because calm bodies of water aren't infinitely wide, and most are really quite narrow, sprint race heats are small. I think the biggest I was ever in (Masters Nationals some years back) was maybe 6-7 boats, and some have been 2 boats. (Some indoor race age/gender/weight classes are also small.) Sooner or later, probably sooner, you'll be last. Quite possibly last over and over, for a while. I've been last way, way more often than first. It was still fun.
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In my undergrad days I sat outside a marketing course before one of my molecular bio courses and I distinctly remember one lecture on fear.
The professor boiled all of sales to one concept - that you must identify not a need or want in a consumer, but fear.
All of sales and marketing is based upon a single principle - fear. A fear of not meeting expectations with your peers without that new car, new suit, new shoes. A fear of presenting yourself in anything but perfection. Fear of aging. Fear of poverty. Fear of being alone. Fear of social exclusion. Fear of disappointment. Fear of disappointing others. Fear of not being prepared. Fear of death. Fear of failure. Fear of success. Fear of change.
A rather bleak and singular view on life, but extremely effective. Being honest if we drill down the Why deep enough it often lands in fear.
I sat inside multiple marketing courses when I was temporarily in MBA school (a sub-elite but decent-ish one). Fear was not treated as central.
If I could boil down the central thought in semi-cynical form, it was "figure out what people deeply, secretly, and perhaps guiltily want, make it affordable and easily available, and advertise it as if it's good for them, high status, virtuous, excellent, aspirational." Often, the subtext was sexual, and the marketing profs tended to like me because - in contrast to fellow students mostly a decade younger - I was always willing to say that s-word out loud. (I'm uncertain whether this was because they were young and shy, or because I'd come of age in the sybaritic 60s/70s).
There were bonus points if you could figure out which segment of the market was the 20% who consumed 80% of the product, and make them feel good about choosing your product. For example, I remember a prof gushing about a campaign whose tag line was something like "the beer to have, when you're having more than one".
Fear is touchy, in marketing. You really don't want too go too far into making people feel icky. Maybe flirt with it, but don't go steady.3 -
I actually enjoy that ‘fear’ of trying something new that I’m unfamiliar with/not proficient at. It can be exhilarating and, as you said, makes life a lot more fun....When I feel held back from trying certain things I'd like to do, the reason is almost always fear of bad results (not in a life-threatening or costly way, necessarily, just results that wouldn't soothe my ego: for example, it happens with some art projects; and I've heard others use fear excuses not to take art/craft classes they claim they'd like to take (" . . . but I wouldn't be any good at that.").
Since figuring that out, I've really worked at thinking "what's the worst that could happen?" and going for it, full on. For me, this - which kind of the opposite of fear motivation in the OP's sense - does make life more scary, but a lot more fun...
I’ve always enjoyed competition and have competed in a lot of different sports, from childhood to all through adulthood. With that said, I’ve never been a top-tier athlete, so finishing last doesn’t bother or scare me in the least - it just gives me fuel to try to improve (mostly against myself). I’m usually a “middle of the pack” athlete - not last and not first, but probably closer to last than first, lol. But regardless of where I finish, I still enjoy the rush/buzz of competing.
As far as the “fear factor” in marketing, I guess I have the luxury of being old enough not to care much about what other people think, or to feel like I’m missing out on something, so that angle doesn’t work very well on me, lol. I’ve also always been more likely to buck pop culture trends/fads rather than follow them.2 -
I have a pair of Brooks Ghosts I run in, does that count?
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I somewhat recently saw the play Ghosts (English translation of an Ibsen title).
Btw, Ghosts premiered in Chicago of all places. Ibsen disliked the English version of the title, which had a different connotation in Norwegian, apparently. I saw it around Halloween and someone asked me what I was seeing and I said Ghosts and she said "sounds fun!" thinking it was Halloween-y, and I said "not really, it's a huge downer."
Oh, is that a digression?1 -
In my undergrad days I sat outside a marketing course before one of my molecular bio courses and I distinctly remember one lecture on fear.
The professor boiled all of sales to one concept - that you must identify not a need or want in a consumer, but fear.
All of sales and marketing is based upon a single principle - fear. A fear of not meeting expectations with your peers without that new car, new suit, new shoes. A fear of presenting yourself in anything but perfection. Fear of aging. Fear of poverty. Fear of being alone. Fear of social exclusion. Fear of disappointment. Fear of disappointing others. Fear of not being prepared. Fear of death. Fear of failure. Fear of success. Fear of change.
A rather bleak and singular view on life, but extremely effective. Being honest if we drill down the Why deep enough it often lands in fear.
^^ THIS ^^^ ALL of this!!
It takes dedication and focus to look past the pretty packaging, clever gimmicks, witty advertisements and flashing blue light specials to see that the whole message is based on creating a fear in the mind of the viewer that can be assuaged by acquiring whatever it is that is being sold.
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I see actual ghosts, so I was very bummed to see that this wasn't that kind of ghost thread. 😕2
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Is it odd that a thread about ghosts was....necroed?4
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Is it odd that a thread about ghosts was....necroed?
BOO! *jumps out from a corner and tries to scare you*
Maybe I'm a weirdo, but the OP made a lot of sense for me. I have a bit of a checkered past and the fear of going back there - of treating people the way I did, ending up in the places I did, and the things I thought about myself that I did.....scares the ever-loving *kitten* out of me.
And that fear definitely keeps me working to do better. To say better. To act better. To go therapy, to take my meds, to listen to my doctors, to recover and STAY recovered.
It's not that you SHOULDN'T have fear. It's just that you should learn how to channel it into making you healthier instead of it scaring you away.1 -
But I like ghostly thingsIs it odd that a thread about ghosts was....necroed?
BOO! *jumps out from a corner and tries to scare you*
Maybe I'm a weirdo, but the OP made a lot of sense for me. I have a bit of a checkered past and the fear of going back there - of treating people the way I did, ending up in the places I did, and the things I thought about myself that I did.....scares the ever-loving *kitten* out of me.
And that fear definitely keeps me working to do better. To say better. To act better. To go therapy, to take my meds, to listen to my doctors, to recover and STAY recovered.
It's not that you SHOULDN'T have fear. It's just that you should learn how to channel it into making you healthier instead of it scaring you away.
I completely agree with those last two lines. I've never heard fears referred to as ghosts before, but it actually makes great sense, as does your approach.
On your bit beginning with "Maybe I'm a weirdo"...all I will say is "Cheers" while toasting you with my mug of coffee...I get it, down deep. Keep on movin on
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