Would you ever consider dating a married man/woman?

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2

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  • _BlahBlah_BlackSheep_
    _BlahBlah_BlackSheep_ Posts: 2,148 Member
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    ythannah wrote: »
    _BlahBlah_BlackSheep_ wrote: »
    In NC, you can't even file for divorce until you've been legally separated and living apart for a full year. So yes, I've dated a "married" man. And I'm also still legally married. I'm not going to put my life on hold for a year or more because of a stupid law.

    Same law here. Legally separated is viewed as Marriage Over, just without the final rubber stamp. I've never known anyone to reconcile following a legal separation as things are usually long dead before that point.

    I married young and separated 2.5 years later. My ex wasn't filing for divorce and I couldn't afford to for a while. Then he kept switching lawyers and the whole thing had to restart three times. It took us 3.5 years to finally get divorced, longer than the actual marriage. I wasn't going to put my life on hold for that long in my 20s so, yes, I dated while "married".

    Exactly. My separation agreement even states: "The parties shall hereafter live as though they had never been married to one another." It's not uncommon here for people to stay legally married for years after a separation, assuming neither party is ready to marry someone else. Divorce can be expensive, and there are perks to staying married (health insurance, tax returns, etc). If it's an amicable separation, there's not a big need to rush the legal proceedings. I can guarantee my ex won't initiate proceedings because he doesn't want to pay for it, so I'll get around to it when I get around to it.
  • nooshi713
    nooshi713 Posts: 4,877 Member
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    Hell no. Separated is still married. Until the divorce is final, NO.
  • slessofme
    slessofme Posts: 7,739 Member
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    CookingWithCumin wrote: »
    slessofme wrote: »
    Dating, as in, actually going out in public regularly? Or just *kitten* ing them?

    Dating: separated, yes. Any other level of connection, no.

    *kitten* ing: open relationship, yes. Sneaking around, no.

    So if their Facebook relationship status is “It’s complicated”, it’s a hard no from you?

    They would have to have that stamped on their forehead for me to see it. I don't Facebook.
  • bduanemyfitness
    bduanemyfitness Posts: 75 Member
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    um NO, not only NO, but heck NO.
  • mustacheU2Lift
    mustacheU2Lift Posts: 5,844 Member
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    Would I get benefits from this arrangement?
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,492 Member
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    mustacheU2Lift wrote: »
    Would I get benefits from this arrangement?

    Like healthcare and a nice 401k package?

    Lemme get back with you after I speak with HR.
  • lizziequek
    lizziequek Posts: 1,373 Member
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    if they are officially separated / already going through motions of getting a divorce / legal separation , then maybe if the attraction or bond is very strong .

    But generally , I wouldn't go there.

    Too complicated .
  • LiftingSpirits
    LiftingSpirits Posts: 2,207 Member
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    Are they actually separated or did he just say "It's like living with a roommate" ?
  • TonyB0588
    TonyB0588 Posts: 9,520 Member
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    julieweledniger wrote: »
    What are your thoughts on this subject and does it make a difference if they’re separated from their spouse/partner?

    No. Not a married person. Marriage is intended to be to the exclusion of all others.

    A separated person is on the way out of their previous marriage, so technically available for a new relationship.
  • whatalazyidiot
    whatalazyidiot Posts: 343 Member
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    Legally separated, maybe. Married and not separated, obviously not.
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
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    Nope.
  • LovelySavannah
    LovelySavannah Posts: 145 Member
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    Definitely not. That's a lot to get in the middle of. I wouldn't want someone doing that to me so I'm not gonna do that to someone else.
  • Versicolour
    Versicolour Posts: 7,164 Member
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    No
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,492 Member
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    julieweledniger wrote: »
    What are your thoughts on this subject and does it make a difference if they’re separated from their spouse/partner?

    so, who is he ?
  • julieweledniger
    julieweledniger Posts: 19 Member
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    It’s not for me. I was asking for a friend. lol
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,742 Member
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    Nope. Not even if they were separated and in the divorce process. Too soon for my liking. I'm also a huge stickler/jerk about stuff like this, honestly. My friend was with a guy for 5 years while still technically married to her ex husband just because neither of them (friend or her ex) wanted to put the money and effort into actually divorcing. That wouldn't work for me. I'm married anyway (second for me, first for my husband) but still.
  • orochiwarrior
    orochiwarrior Posts: 97 Member
    edited December 2018
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    Yes. After I had been divorced for 5 months I met a guy who was separated from his ex and going through a divorce himself. We got married the following year and have been together for over 7 years now

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